Brownies and Prayer

God used brownies last night to show me that I am still lacking in being prayerful. What is UP with that? I know what is UP…it is PRIDE. No matter how much I declare it, that just isn’t enough to make it go away. It is like looking out in the forest and saying, “Yup…there are rattle snakes out there…they could bite my horses.” But if I just stand up here and don’t go down and root them out…well, the danger remains.

So, too, with my acknowledging that pride is present. I seem to be good at pointing it out and saying “Lookee thar! That thar pride will wreak havoc if I don’t get RID of it” and the I stand back PROUD of myself for declaring it….uh…what is WRONG with this picture???? :-/

Well, I have to DO something about it. Like HUMBLE myself. That is where the rubber meets the road.

Before, during, after meals…I want to invite God into each moment. In the book this is referred to as practicing the presence of God. I want to return to that prayerful spirit that I have known before. I have to think that practicing pride has kept this humble way of living far from me.

I must get practical…foster a prayerful life…

So, I had a tiny square of brownie, but did I invite God into it? Nope. I did the “diet mentality” thing….”I wasn’t even at a 5 when I stopped eating at dinner, so I can justify having this brownie…it is, after all, just a fragment of my past indulgence!” BAH!

I could have invited God INTO this moment with the brownie and He may have given His total approval about it all! It isn’t even about Him saying NO to food I want as I generally am willing to remain within the parameters he has set for me (generally…usually…not always….)! It is STILL about being HUMBLE before Him! It isn’t about the food. It is about the relationship….and that continues to be a weakness for me. I don’t foster it.

I did the mechanical 0 to 5 eating for so long that it comes so…ermm…”naturally” to me! Well, I am called to live beyond “natural!” To live “supernaturally!”

Lord, make it so!