7 Phrases To Ditch For Victory!

Image Source: Morgue File

Image Source: Morgue File

“It’s just a little snack!”

“I am going to eat healthy today!”

“Oh…if I get the house clean, I will have a little treat.”

“I am swearing off of all junk food.”

Food phrases come in all shapes and sizes, but I have discovered that certain words and phrases can be “little foxes” spoiling the “vineyard” in my eating life!

“Snack” – In the past, I, like many other people, would use the word “snack” to mean “free” eating—an “eating occasion” that doesn’t count. 🙂 It didn’t matter if I was hungry or not (or so the reasoning went) because it was “just a little taste of something.” While it probably wasn’t really a “sit down meal,” these “feedings” (as my naturally thin sister refers to them)  count! Now, I prefer not to use the word “snack” at all because it carries years of meaning from my dieting background. If I DO refer to a “snack,” it typically means sitting down and enjoying a smaller portion of anything when I am at a 0 and just shaving off my hunger—not eating all the way to a 5…like stopping at a “2” or “3” on the hunger scale. True Thin Within “snacking” happens only at a 0 and it does, indeed, “count!” I know this isn’t a “fun” revelation. 🙂

I find it most helpful if I consider every single time food crosses my lips as a “meal.” With Thin Within we come to realize we don’t need that much food to sustain our very efficient bodies. So, if every time food crosses my lips I think of it as a meal (or “feeding”), I am more likely to use more discernment about what I choose. This is a basic boundary for us. (I can see you cringe…But where has NOT having this boundary really gotten us?)  In the past, the quantity of food that I now consider a “meal” might have been called a “snack.” This is another reason why I don’t use the word “snack” much any more.

Think About It: If you have been doing Thin Within very long, consider the size of your portions and how they have changed. Is it possible that what you now consider an appropriate-sized meal you might have formerly called “just a snack?” How might this continue to change over time as you refine your hunger numbers?

“Junk Food” –  It is popular to believe that some foods are “junk.”  When we think of certain foods as “junk” it usually means we have declared those foods as “bad.” While it is true some food choices are better than others to feed my “perfect 0,”  when I call something “junk,” I imply that the food is the culprit to my weight and eating issues. The truth is, *I* am the culprit with the way, the why, the when, of my eating. Food is not immoral in any way. It is not the culprit in my eating challenges.  Instead of thinking of food as “junk food” (or not), I prefer to categorize foods the way that Thin Within speaks of in the second (Discernment) phase, as “teasers,” “pleasers,” “whole-body pleasers,” and “total rejects.” If I like the way a food tastes, but I feel lethargic after eating it, it might be a total reject or it may be a “teaser.” But I try not to think of it as “junk food.” The problem is typically more with ME and what I will DO with those foods than it is with the foods. (Even with a food that has no nutritional value, I find it helps me to just call it a total reject.)

Think About It: Are you like me? Needing to take responsibility for your eating instead of laying blame with the food? I have found that when I refer to foods as “junk” I beat myself up for eating them…which just sends me into a downward spiral. By referring to them, instead, as “total rejects” or “teasers,” I remind myself how *I* respond to them is what matters.

“Treat” – Ever notice that the foods that are in the “junk food” category are also often those referred to as “treats” as well? Calling something a “treat” sets up whatever-food-it-is as desirable to me. I end up seeing it as a reward. Do I really want to call food a “reward?” If I do that, it definitely lures me to eat outside of 0 and 5 whenever I am deserving of a “reward” and we know that I am always deserving of a reward (supposedly)! If I am happy, I deserve a reward. If I am sad, I deserve a reward. If I worked hard, I deserve a reward. If I run errands, I deserve a reward. If I stay home and vacuum, I deserve a reward.  What if we think, instead, of things like “Time alone reading a good book,” or “A long hot bath” as rewards? Consider non-food blessings. 🙂 If I think of food as “treats” then those foods are in my mind as something I get when I am “good.” This sets me up for failure.

Think About It: What are some other non-food ways you can “treat” yourself? Is there any chance that viewing some foods as “treats” is hindering your victory? Do you find that some of the foods that you may have considered “junk food” are the very foods you have also considered “treats?”

“Healthy Eating – What IS “healthy eating?” It is most helpful to me to consider it “Living within God’s parameters.” Or eating according to physical need (empty) and physical satisfaction. Eating whole-body pleasers when my body needs food is my idea of “healthy eating.”  It is important to note that my whole-body pleasers may be different from everyone else’s! This is NOT a one-size-fits-all approach! Healthy eating isn’t about which foods, but why (because of physical need) and when (when I am hungry). To think of “healthy eating” this way is definitely not the norm. Usually when we think of “healthy eating” we think of people who eat fruits, veggies, and lean meat and it isn’t about being hungry or not. I have known people who do not “eat healthy” even when they choose foods that seem more nutritionally dense. They still over-eat and don’t have a healthy relationship with food. Maybe you know some whole food connoisseurs or vegans who struggle with their weight just like others who eat primarily “junk food.” This really isn’t about the food, but about why we eat.

Think About It: What does healthy eating really look like for you? Is it what you choose to eat? Or is it when (hungry)? Or how much (enough to satisfy only)? Or a combination? What if you were to select only fruits and vegetables and lean meats, but eat for emotional reasons without regard to physical cues–would that be “eating healthy?” If you grab for the pita crisps instead of the Oreos when you just had a fight with your daughter is that “Healthy Eating?”

“Healthy Food” – This is like the other phrases that describe food, like “treat” or “junk food.” The problem with “healthy food” is it, again, seems to indicate that if I fix the food, then it is good to eat it…even if I don’t NEED food at that time. Sure, some foods are more nutritionally dense…more nutrition “bang” for energy “buck” and other foods are more “energy dense”…a lot less nutrition for the amount of energy consumed. But food is really inert, neutral, amoral. It isn’t the food that is healthy so much as how I relate to it. Is it  “healthy” to eat a large salad when I am not hungry? I guess every person has to make this decision for herself, but the answer for me as a faithful Thin Within participant and veteran…NO. Eating anything when I don’t need to eat it isn’t healthy. It becomes recreational eating again! Categorizing foods into “healthy food” and “junk food” keeps me from owning my need to scrutinize the why and when of my eating choices. I have found it much more helpful to consider foods as teasers, pleasers, whole-body pleasers and total rejects for the reasons I shared above. I also have found that if I set up a category of “healthy food,” then if I want to be “healthy” I end up trying to force myself to enjoy those foods. While I am all for expanding our culinary horizons and venturing out into new tastes and textures, if I don’t like something and eat it just because it is a “healthy food” then I am setting myself up for a fall.

Think About It: What are whole-body pleaser foods or meals for you? Would it be helpful to you and support your godly goals to consider food this way instead of “healthy food?”  Or as “beneficial foods?” I am not advising not to care about nutritional value, certainly, but giving an eye to nutrition and an eye to how foods make you feel might help you not try to force yourself to eat only foods that have certain nutritional content…so often that backfires! Or is that just me? 🙂

“Sort of Hungry” –  Hunger/satisfied signals exist on a continuum. But I try to stay away from speaking about being “sort of hungry,” because I have found that if I do this, it “sort of” justifies “sort of” eating! 🙂  In fact, there are even times when I need to strip the hunger scale back to simple terms: “Hungry” or “NOT Hungry.” If you are experiencing limited success with your 0 to 5 eating, consider if you are possibly pre-empting “hungry” by entertaining the idea that being “sort of hungry” justifies eating.

Think About It: Do you find yourself eating when you are “sort of hungry” or “a little bit hungry?” Is that working for you? If you are not seeing the physical results you think you should be seeing, maybe honing in on a true zero … completely empty… will be helpful.

“Kind of Full” – If I am “Kind of Full,” that means that I think I “still have room” for more food. Maybe I need to see if my body is satisfied with less food, rather than if I can get away with more! (If you have a history of restricting, I am not speaking to you. Please know that God wants you to eat what you NEED to sustain good health!) Again, for me personally, it has helped to go to “bare bones” with my terminology with the hunger scale. Instead of looking at “AM I at a 5? Or is this only a 4 and I still have room for more food?” I need to look at “HUNGRY” or “NOT Hungry.” “Kind of Full” is definitely in the “Not Hungry” category.  If I am NOT HUNGRY it is time to stop eating. Getting rid of  “Kind of Full” helps me be faithful to the boundaries that God has set for me.

Think About It: Do you push to see how much food you can eat before you have pushed too far? Or are you happy with eating until you know you are not hungry any more and call it good? Again, if you are not seeing the physical results that you think you should be seeing, you may want to evaluate this. One strategy that has been helpful for me (when I do it!) is to have a boundary of always leaving some (even just a bite or two) of food on my plate. Sometimes, this gets fed to the family dog, but I find that it helps to cure me of my tendency to be greedy! (But builds bad begging habits in my dog!)

How About You?

Are you willing to eliminate these words or phrases from your vocabulary to see if that might help you move closer to the victory that you desire? What other words or phrases do you find might be like “little foxes,” hindering your realization of the victory that you know is yours?

Get Rid of “The Little Foxes!”

Between the Vines - Artist: Carl Brenders

Between the Vines – Artist: Carl Brenders

Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.
Song of Solomon 2:15

…A taste of the spaghetti sauce while it is simmering…”SooOOOOooo good!,” …it requires another taste and just one more!

…A french fry (or two…or six!) from a family member’s “Happy Meal”…”Ooh! I need me some of these!”

…Just one more handful of popcorn at the movies…”Ok, well, maybe one more….”

While it is certainly true that Solomon probably didn’t have these scenarios in mind when he penned the request to “Catch for us the foxes that ruin the vineyards,” there is definitely an interesting principle that we can draw from the biblical context of the verse.

Small foxes can ruin a wonderfully good thing.

Do you find that you aren’t quite experiencing the physical results that you feel you should be as you apply yourself to eating between physical hunger and satisfaction? While it is my deepest heart’s desire to convey that this journey is about SO much more than food and weight, the fact does remain–at least in part–most of us chose to connect with Thin Within in the first place because we felt that we could/should be a smaller size than we were (I know this isn’t true of everyone…many of you hope to be willing to eat what God calls you to eat instead of restricting).

It IS true that God may be teaching you personally that HIS desire for you is to be content at a certain size instead of something as small as you had hoped, but if the size that you think you are supposed to accept contributes to extreme health problems, perhaps there is still yet work to do. If you aren’t seeing some progress in letting go of the physical weight, I want to suggest that you evaluate:

Are there little foxes ruining this vineyard?

It takes a lot of work to get a vineyard to produce! The worst thing to a vineyard owner is to put all that time, money, and effort into having a producing vineyard only to have the little foxes ruin it all. Charles Wesley is credited to have said:

Spoil vines –  foxes do this many ways, by gnawing and breaking the little branches and leaves, by digging holes in the vineyards, and so spoiling the roots. Tender grapes – Which are easily spoiled, if great care be not used to prevent it.

I realized that the little foxes running amok in my life and my attempts to adhere to the principles and boundaries that God has led me to embrace (0 to 5 eating) were a problem for me. I had waited for my definitive hunger signal at one particular lunchtime. I eagerly put left over Mexican food in the oven to heat up. Even as I set the timer for 15 minutes, I realized that my hunger was INCESSANT!  I reached for small fox #1…a few chips. “Yum!” Then small fox #2…A cookie. “Yes, perfect!” Small fox #3…A bite of frosting from the jar…”That will do.”

All three foxes had dashed through before the meal emerged from the oven. By the time my leftovers were heated, I wasn’t hungry any longer and the amount of food that I had placed in the oven was based on my eating it from hunger to satisfaction…not from whatever-hunger-number-I-was-at-currently to a 5. Meaning, by eating the amount I had prepared, I was almost assuredly overeating! Being a “veteran” Thin Withinner I had put a fist sized portion in the oven, but only now I needed to be honest…there was a “three-finger sized” amount of space left in my stomach!

This didn’t happen just once before I became aware of the little foxes, either. It happened numerous times…each time with the justification of “Well, I am hungry!'” The truth is, if all of those little bites were going to be a part of my meal—used to satisfy my hunger—they needed to be considered. The portion I was yet waiting on from the oven might not even be necessary at all!

Having shared this with some of my coaching clients who have lamented that they wonder about their physical results not being quite what they had hoped, they have approached their eating with additional vigilance. You know what has happened? You guessed it. The physical changes are happening once again.

How About You?

On your way to your God-given natural size, every so often you might have to re-evaluate, refine, hone in on what is going on. Is it possible that you could benefit from evaluating if the little foxes are ruining your hard work? They can be quite subtle and we tend to justify and minimize them. Consider this thought, though…When we justify them not only do those small bites here and there represent energy that we are consuming that our body may not need, but might it also be adding a little bit of hardening to our hearts spiritually speaking? Maybe we can ask God to make us sensitive to His leading so that we get rid of the little foxes and welcome His Presence as the good Vinedresser that He is into our Vineyard!

What “little foxes” do you need to catch?

Focus

I am currently working on Beth Moore’s Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent bible study. This study is already ministering a lot to my heart even though I am only in week two.

I want to share some of what has encouraged me. From the Holman Christian Standard Bible, Psalm 123 reads as follows:

Looking for God’s Favor
A song of ascents.

1 I lift my eyes to You,
the One enthroned in heaven.

2 Like a servant’s eyes on His master’s hand,
like a servant girl’s eyes on her mistress’s hand,
so our eyes are on the LORD our God
until He shows us favor.

3 Show us favor, LORD, show us favor,
for we’ve had more than enough contempt.

4 We’ve had more than enough
scorn from the arrogant
[and] contempt from the proud.

This psalm encouraged and challenged me.
First, can you relate (as I can) to the statement of the psalmist, “We’ve had more than enough contempt. We’ve had more than enough scorn from the arrogant and contempt from the proud.”

When I was heavy, I felt this all the time. I felt the contempt of men, children, and even women. I was treated differently than I am now. Sure, some might say that it was all in my mind, but whether it was or not, I *felt* it. I felt like I was treated differently because of being overweight — obese.

I will never forget being late for a connecting flight once…it was a small little “puddle jumper” from one airport to another about an hour away. As I climbed aboard (I mean this was a SMALL plane with only two seats on one side and one on the other), I felt the eyes of all looking at me like: “Now the plane will surely list to one side. Put her on the side with only one seat! She will balance out the side with two!” There was one man in particular, whose scrutinizing gaze reduced me to nothing. Why I gave him that power is beyond me. The memory is still with me (obviously).

I have had enough of that sort of contempt.

Even as I was reminded of this, I was encouraged by the words of the psalm. In those moments when I feel like the target of assaults–from the enemy, from strangers, from people I love and know…on what will I choose to focus my attention? What will I invite to fill my vision?

Right now, with all that confronts you, confronts me, with all the demands made of us, to what are we looking? Upon what am I choosing to focus? Is it the trial? Is it the circumstance? Is it the person and the way I feel wounded by them? Or is it how little food I get to eat if I really want to release weight–or keep the weight off? Am I focused on the things that bother me? Do I make provision for my flesh by choosing to fill my gaze with things that will cultivate discontentment and resentment?

This psalm has an answer to a question that I may not even know I am asking.

Who is it that is over all? Who is in charge? Who is truly on the throne? My YHWH, LORD, God Almighty, I AM is in heaven. He is on the throne. As the song goes, He is God alone. In verse one, the psalmist declares “I lift my eyes to YOU…” His gaze had to be lifted from what was facing him, the contempt being shown him, the circumstances that overwhelmed him. But the one choosing to do the lifting, the shifting of the gaze is him. I must choose to do the same.

I have a choice. I can choose to focus on what it is that has my shorts in a bunch, the insults, the contempt, the trial, the person blocking my goal or disappointing me somehow, or I can LIFT my eyes and look to God. As I focus on HIM, all the other things fade in significance. This is a principle that is so true and it has been revolutionary for me personally as I have walked this path. It is very much related to humility and to gratitude. If I insist on being the focus of my life, or if I insist on focusing on all the things I am bothered by in my life, it will change everything how I perceive what comes next, or seems to.

Beth Moore points out in the lesson on this psalm that:
Where I look affects—->

What I hear, which affects—->
What I feel, which affects—->
What I expect…
I would add that what I expect then affects what I experience.

No, I don’t believe in the “power of positive thinking,” but I do believe that what I expect affects where I look in the next moment…and paints it accordingly. What I expect affects what I experience, which, unless I stop the cycle, will affect where I look and what I hear…and so on. It is a cycle!

I want to break this cycle. I don’t want to focus on “my problems” and perpetuate a bad attitude which seems to perpetuate trials, which perpetuates my fixating on the trials and on and on. I will break the cycle by choosing to focus on the LORD who is ON THE THRONE. He IS sovereign. He IS good. He IS sufficient. He IS loving. He IS gracious…
When I choose to foster gratitude and praise the Lord, I am doing this. I am breaking the cycle. I am choosing where I look, which affects what I hear, which affects how I feel (WHOO HOO! When I think on, look to and praise the Lord, my feelings change!), which affects what I expect and what I experience! WHOO HOO!