Thin Within brought me back to Jesus. I think in my adult life I was just living through the motions and I was trying to do it on my own. I was not reading my Bible and seeking Jesus. It didn’t work out very well. I struggled with binge eating and Bulimia throughout my adult life. I struggled with depression. I felt like I was just trying to stay afloat but drowning. I couldn’t get a hold of my eating because I was trying to do it on my own. When I was 17 I was exposed to another faith based program that showed me that eating this way and releasing weight is possible but I wasn’t able to stick with it. It was too legalistic and shame based. Thin Within is not like that at all.
In December 2019 I reached my all time high weight. I weighed 259 pounds. I spent that year bingeing and I was not a happy person.
So in January 2020 I joined Thin Within in the Jump Start 30-Day Email Challenge.
At first, I made it about my weight. I lost 23 pounds in that challenge and did very well. It wasn’t long until I realized that it isn’t about weight. Jesus wants me. He wants my heart and my life.
When CoVid happened, I struggled. I even went back to old Bulimic behaviors. I stopped releasing weight. Summer 2020 I was on my knees and surrendered to Jesus. That summer I released so much weight. I started working on the Thin Within workbook and my life began to change as I surrendered more of my life to Jesus. For the first time I was really studying God’s word. What originally was about weight became about Jesus. I did release a ton of weight. By the end summer I was down 60 pounds! I gave the scale up that summer too. I no longer weigh myself.
When this journey became about Jesus and not weight, I realized that I needed to give up things like the scale that had a hold of me. My journey became about Him and growing in Him. That is what I am working on. I still have a long way to go. This journey will not end until the day I go to Jesus. It was a major shift for me when I realized that there is no end day where I will arrive at a certain weight and be happy. My happiness is not going to come from weight goals. My happiness is coming from constantly seeking our Lord Jesus Christ.
I will achieve my God-given size someday. I know this works but my focus has shifted. My goals have changed. I want to be a peaceful eater but most of all I want to continue to grow and mature in Christ.