12/08/06 Day 15

I did day 15 yesterday with the First Meal of the Rest of Your Life experience happening last night for my dinner. It was an amazing experience. After all these years of toying with this material and with God and my seriousness with it, I was skeptical…how would he get through to me?

I guess He has really done (and IS doing) a new thing in me, as my skepticism melted away as overwhelming gratitude flooded my thoughts.

When I sat down to my meal–leftovers from a dinner out at a favorite mexican restaurant–the first thing I saw were the fingerprints on the window across from me. I was so thankful that I have two of the most wonderful kids in the world who made those fingerprints. Wow, if that didn’t take me by surprise!

This thought was a gift from the Holy Spirit…or so I believe as it seemed to just set the tone of gratitude for my meal.

The exercise in the book has you be very intentional as you look smell and taste the foods and evaluate how you are responding as you taste…prayer bathes the entire experience. It did for me…another new thing. Boy, I am such a slow study! LOL! It was great to praise God for the smell and the wonderful combination of flavors…whoever thought to put these thigns together this way? Thank you for them, Lord! LOL!

I had chosen 5 chips (the bag was filled with crums and I also knew I had to limit myself) to have with homemade salsa as part of this meal and I discovered that while typically a favorite combination of mine, the chips and salsa kept me from being able to taste the other food! I wonder how often that happens when I am out at a mexican restaurant! I wonder if I might enjoy the *entire* meal more if I don’t deaden my taste buds with salsa! I LOVE salsa! But I love cheese enchiladas SO MUCH MORE! LOL!

So, I chose to set aside the chips and salsa . This is a miracle. LOL!

I then discovered that the rice and beans were no where near as wonderful left over as the enchilda. Normally, I would have told myself “There isn’t much food here. Surely, this constitutes a meal of 0-5…and I have already let go of having the chips and salsa. Aren’t I being good, God? I can eat it all…” (pathetic sounding, huh?) But I realized that this was a very prideful attitude…God is really trying to root out the pride in every single tiny itty bitty thing…pride is so destructive and stands against God. I don’t want that. I have so much pride…it is painful to realize this….but I may as well face the truth and deal with it. God is gently helping me with it.

So, the rice and beans weren’t eaten. The salsa and chips weren’t eaten. But boy, did I savor that enchilada…except the dogs got the last two bites…ANOTHER MIRACLE!

Following this exercise is a chart to fill out on page 156. For each Key to Conscious Eating, I was asked if I used the key and if so, how I felt it affected my meal experience. Wow….did a lot come of this.

The one question that I think I will try to remember to ask myself when I sit down to eat…is “Am I enjoying this food as much as I thought I would?” The instructions of the activity spurred me to ask myself this question and it caused me to see that much of the food I had prepared wouldn’t be enjoyed…and since I might get to a 5 much sooner than I anticipate, why not “spend” it on the food that is really good? In the past I have always saved the tastiest morsel for last. But this way, I had the best first…and it was a delight…things really DO taste better when you are truly hungry.

God is trying to show me that this isn’t about food, weight, or my “issues.” It is about Him…how great He is, how loving, gracious and merciful…about His invitation to me to walk with Him…it floors me to realize this.

He uses food in my life to remind me 2 or 3 or 4 times a day at how much he longs for me to be intimate with him….what a wonderful way to take something my body needs and turn it into a love song sung for me throughout the day.

I am blessed.

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