I breathed a sigh of longing to be with the Lord.
Lord, I come in the quiet of this morning-
it is is a time of surrender.
Giving to You
- my desire for more food and
- my desire to put more food on my plate than I really need
- my desire to be skinny
- my desire to be liked by others
I open up my hands, Jesus. I release my fear and want of control.
AND IN THE PLACE OF ALL THIS, I CLAIM YOUR TRUTH!
…..and You remind me….
to keep my eyes on YOU. that I need to TRUST YOU more than I trust MYSELF.
I need to LOVE YOU more than I love MYSELF.
But, Lord. Do I really do this? Am I really faithful? Oh Lord, my own desires always seem to get in the way. Yet….You remind me that I can come to You each moment….each day…each blink of an eye. and YOU are there…..”
Your mercies are new each morning.
So, there I was.
I had just finished reading a wonderful devotion and had some great journalling time with the Lord. I had written about daily surrendering the food and worry and control to Him.
I was at a zero and so had my breakfast.
Coffee, bite…yumm. repeat. again. and again and….oh!
THEN IT HAPPENED. I felt that familiar sensation that I was no longer hungry. I felt it AFTER I HAD PUT THAT LAST BITE IN MY MOUTH. Yes, that was going to be the last bite. Food was left on my plate, but I was no longer hungry.
BUT BEFORE I COULD EVEN CHEW that last bite, I had a prick in my spirit. Would I be willing to give up that bite? Would I be willing to surrender it?
I knew I just couldn’t eat that bite. There I sat with a mouth full of food and thinking what to do with this food….I went to trash and spit it out.
This can go down the legalistic slippery slope VERY QUICKLY if not taken in the context of the whole experience. I had JUST HAD A DEEP TIME OF SURRENDERING with the Lord. And it was in that aftermath of that time that the Lord asked me if I would be willing to even surrender something as small as one bite.
Does He ask me to do this at every meal? No. But it showed me that IF I CAN SURRENDER THAT ONE LAST BITE THAT IS ALREADY IN MY MOUTH…I can certainly surrender the desire to eat before I am all the way hungry. If I can not even CHEW that last bite and spit it out of my mouth because God asked me to do it, I can have the strength in HIM to push my plate away when I feel that comfortable sensation and know I’m done.
Am I WILLING to truly give up my love of food? Am I REALLY ready to surrender when and how much I am eating? I say I am. I say I love God more than anything. But the test comes when I am tempted…..what will I REALLY do?
What will you do?
No matter what, dear reader….if we choose our own way, we are forgiven and there is grace. For most of us it is a daily….or hourly….surrender of our love affair with food!. It is a choice we make. BUT IN HIM and in HIS strength, we can do it!