The Last Bite

coffeeAs I sat down this morning with my coffee,

I breathed a sigh of longing to be with the Lord.

Lord, I come in the quiet of this morning-

it is is a time of surrender.

Letting go.

Emptying out.

Giving to You

  • my desire for more food and
  • my desire to put more food on my plate than I really need
  • my desire to be skinny
  • my desire to be liked by others

I open up my hands, Jesus.  I release my fear and want of control.  

AND IN THE PLACE OF ALL THIS, I CLAIM YOUR TRUTH!

…..and You remind me….

to keep my eyes on YOU. that I need to TRUST YOU more than I trust MYSELF.  

I need to LOVE YOU more than I love MYSELF.

But, Lord.  Do I really do this?  Am I really faithful?  Oh Lord, my own desires always seem to get in the way. Yet….You remind me that I can come to You each moment….each day…each blink of an eye.  and YOU are there…..”

Your mercies are new each morning. 

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So, there I was.

I had just finished reading a wonderful devotion and had some great journalling time with the Lord. I had written about daily surrendering the food and worry and control to Him.

I was at a zero and so had my breakfast.

Coffee, bite…yumm. repeat. again. and again and….oh!

 THEN IT HAPPENED. I felt that familiar sensation that I was no longer hungry.  I felt it AFTER  I HAD PUT THAT LAST BITE IN MY MOUTH. Yes, that was going to be the last bite. Food was left on my plate, but I was no longer hungry.

BUT BEFORE I COULD EVEN CHEW that last bite, I had a prick in my spirit.  Would I be willing to give up that bite?  Would I be willing to surrender it?

I knew I just couldn’t eat that bite. There I sat with a mouth full of food and thinking what to do with this food….I went to trash and spit it out.

 

Oh, Dear Reader!  It is now that we must be very careful!

 This can go down the legalistic slippery slope VERY QUICKLY if not taken in the context of the whole experience.  I had JUST HAD A DEEP TIME OF SURRENDERING  with the Lord.  And it was in that aftermath of that time that the Lord asked me if I would be willing to even surrender something as small as one bite.

Does He ask me to do this at every meal?  No.  But it showed me that IF I CAN SURRENDER THAT ONE LAST BITE THAT IS ALREADY IN MY MOUTH…I can certainly surrender the desire to eat before I am all the way hungry.  If I can not even CHEW that last bite and spit it out of my mouth because God asked me to do it, I can have the strength in HIM to push my plate away when I feel that comfortable sensation and know I’m done.

QuestionMarksHere are some questions.

Am I WILLING to truly give up my love of food?  Am I REALLY ready to surrender when and how much I am eating? I say I am.  I say I love God more than anything.  But the test comes when I am tempted…..what will I REALLY do?

What will you do?

No matter what, dear reader….if we choose our own way, we are forgiven and there is grace.  For most of us it is a daily….or hourly….surrender of our love affair with food!.  It is a choice we make.  BUT IN HIM and in HIS strength, we can do it!

Let’s live in TRUTH and FREEDOM!

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8 Responses to The Last Bite

  1. Barb Shelton April 22, 2016 at 1:39 am #

    This is *exactly* where I’m at and what I’m dealing with *today*!!! Thank you soooo much for sharing so vulnerably and specifically today, Deanna!!!!!! ?

    • Deanna Lewis April 26, 2016 at 7:55 am #

      I’m so glad this spoke to you, Barb. We are all in this together!

  2. Dawn April 22, 2016 at 6:43 am #

    Thanks friend! Last night for me it was the last half of a small bread stick…. Didn’t get it in my mouth, but KNEW it has to be left. Didn’t want to, but did. Was being conscious of how little it takes to be satisfied rather than how much I can get away with. I wanted it, but surrendered it. I laughed t myself thinking that I knew it was not the bread He is after, but my heart!

    • Deanna Lewis April 26, 2016 at 7:55 am #

      Dawn, Thanks for your reply! I also need to remember the mindset of how little it takes instead of how much it takes to satisfy!

  3. sheryl hussey April 22, 2016 at 3:05 pm #

    excellent points, all, but I have another question…you state that you journal…as do I…and a question I often have -is satan able to read what I am writing, and if so, what are the ramifications?

    • Deanna Lewis April 26, 2016 at 7:59 am #

      Hi Sherly,
      I don’t know if satan can read my journal, but I don’t really dwell on that. My journal is written as prayer to God and I just remember than my God is more powerful than evil. He has defeated satan long ago! I just focus on Jesus and don’t worry if the evil one reads what I write. I will not live in fear, for God has given me the power of a sound mind. In Him I can have perfect peace. I hope this helps. 🙂

  4. Amie April 22, 2016 at 7:55 pm #

    Oh wow this is exactly where I’m at this very moment…I seem to have tried so many ‘diets’ and health kicks and not really getting anywhere… I feel so let down with my self… I spoke to the Lord yesterday about my struggle with food and how sad it makes me. I just LOVE food! ARRRAH! I just get so frustrated and feel so trapped in it all sometimes I just give up… But I do know better and My hope is in Jesus and I know if I keep asking for his help and healing that’s exactly what I’ll receive? Thank you for sharing I believe I was meant to read this what a blessing this has been to me.

    • Deanna Lewis April 26, 2016 at 8:02 am #

      HI Amie,
      I can feel your frustration! Yes, we have to cling to the HOPE we have in Jesus. If you are reading Thin Within or doing one of the workbook studies, remember we can cling to the fact that we are NOT CONDEMNED! Don’t allow the evil one to bring out that “club of condemnation” and don’t use it on yourself. Focus on HIM. I have to do this on a daily or even moment by moment basis or I can so easily walk down that road of feeling bad about myself. Let’s walk with eyes on Jesus and not on ourselves! YES!

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