“I don’t know how you do all you do!”
Compliments like these cause me to evaluate if I unwittingly parade “all I do” around specifically so I can get accolades from others. I hope not!
The truth is, I don’t do *any* of the many things I do well. (Even now, a part of me wants to list them all for you, so you can know what I mean. The other part of me–the suspicious part of me–thinks this would merely be a perverse attempt to win yet more accolades and encouragement…so I will restrain myself!)
What if my busyness (something that is celebrated and respected in our culture) is just another way to keep from being in the present moment?
What if God wants me to be still and know that he is God?
Be still and know that I am not?
What if he wants me to be still to tell me the truth about a few things?
Gosh, even the thought makes me squeamish. For some reason, I don’t want to hear that he wants me to…well…to change. To sacrifice. To be.
Instead, I have become comfortable in…
…in what? In whatever place this is?
God will speak to this people, to whom he said,
“This is the resting place, let the weary rest”;
and, “This is the place of repose”—
but they would not listen.
So then, the word of the LORD to them will become:
Do and do, do and do,
rule on rule, rule on rule;
a little here, a little there—
so that they will go and fall backward,
be injured and snared and captured.
~ Isaiah 28: 11b-13
” Those that will not hear the comfortable voice of God’s word shall be made to hear the dreadful voice of his rod.” *
I am caught in a conundrum. I run from the very rest to which he calls, and in my running, I churn inside, yet I continue to run from the rest to which he calls…it is a cycle. My busyness is just a ruse to avoid the
He wants to quiet me with his love. Zephaniah 3:17 breathes encouragement to me. This agitated state I am in sends off red flares. I am about ready to jump out of my skin.
Even in my “quiet” times, I am far from quiet. I run around from one bible verse to another, marking this passage and that, studying, acquiring knowledge. “Do and do. Do and do. Rule on rule. Rule on rule. Here a little, there a little.”
And, yet, I “massage” my conscience: “Wow! Look at all I have learned in Leviticus. Who would have thought that Leviticus would so richly enhance my understanding of the gospel!”
It sounds really good, ya know? Doesn’t that make me sound super-spiritual to you? :-/
What am I running from? I have some ideas. I keep pointing to all the things that I do that prove I am a “good” girl…and, again, God says:
“I don’t want you to be ‘good,” I want you to be mine.”
This is about so much more than weight and food. God just uses food and weight to grab my attention. He uses my struggle as my thorn in my flesh to keep me clinging to him.
Perhaps if I would cease using busyness as a “drug of choice” and got still with Him…really still, there might be some healing. Some deep cleansing to the depths of my being.
How about you? Is busyness a way of avoiding a true encounter with the Living God? What are you running from? What can you do to stop and rest in his arms?
Oh, Lord, I confess my tendency to get caught up in “here a little, there a little, do and do, rule and rule…” It is so exhausting. I confess that I am running from you. Lord, I don’t even know why, really. You have said “Let the weary rest.” Oh! How I long for that rest, Lord. I pray that you will help me respond to your voice, to forsake the worldly rewards of busyness–and the accompanying agitation–and really rest in your presence. Lord, I want to hear what you have to say to me…Word of God speak…I choose to listen. Make it so, Lord. In the precious Name of Jesus, Amen.