Ever find yourself face first in a package of Oreos and wonder “How did I get here?” Chapter four in Get Thin Stay Thin addresses many of the challenges we face that cause us to eat compulsively. The desire is that we might change things around a bit, and become more present in the moment and aware of the Lord, his sufficiency, his strength and provision for what really ails us.
I am reminded:
It takes courage to receive freedom. It takes courage to change. GTST, p. 79
Since coming off of my over-use of caffeine, there is a bit of extra weight that won’t seem to budge. My wonderfully comfortable Levi jeans that I lived in for over a year after releasing 100 pounds are so snug that I have stopped wearing them. 🙁 I wonder if THIS is my truly *natural* God-given size…and the size I was before was *UN*natural because of the use of caffeine to be there.
A part of me feels drawn to drinking diet soda again (I was never without a can or big 64 oz cup near at hand!)…and just see if I could get back into my jeans again–you know, a sort of experiment. But I know I would be selling out if I did that.
It does take courage to receive freedom. It does take courage to change. I want to fit in those jeans again, darn-it! But at what price? So I press on, steering clear of the stronghold that had me firmly in its clutches for so many years. No diet soda for me…not even a drop. I would never be able to handle it in moderation. The price I pay is to be a size bigger perhaps. That galls me, though…I tell ya!
So what might you have to do to receive freedom? What changes is the Lord beckoning to you to allow Him and His strength to perform in you? 🙂
Some folks feel like some foods are “triggers” for them that cause them to go nuts with certain foods. I realized during this past week that it isn’t the food that is the “trigger.” It is the emotion allowed to go unchecked that is my “trigger.” I love the idea that a food can be a “trigger” because then I can blame the food. But I see that it isn’t the food at all….at least not for me. It is my emotion…accompanied by pride that says, “I can handle this myself, thank you very much,” instead of bowing to the Lord and offering him what I am feeling. Yup, that is my “trigger!”
Yesterday was a good example of this. I was frustrated with my intermittent internet service when I was working on a new website for a new and very valued client. I couldn’t get the work I had done uploaded…ALL DAY. I found myself not giving a flying fig about “0” and eating in response to this frustration. (Seems to me that events like this could also explain the weight not coming off…but let’s not go there…denial is such a nice place to live…err…not…)
The things that stand in the way of applying the principles [Keys to Conscious Eating] and using the hunger scale [the practice of waiting for “0” or true physiological hunger to eat and stopping at a “5” or satisfied] are behaviors we call “Fat Machinery.” Fat machinery is unconscious, automatic, or inappropriate eating that is activated by external or internal stimuli. What this means is that much of our eating is done for the wrong reasons–social pressure, anxiety, frustration, and a variety of emotional stimuli that have nothing to do with our body’s need for nourishment. When we are wrapped up in our 
grave clothes, our eating is activated by these stimuli and we move through life like robots or automatons, reaching for food unconsciously when someone or something activates our “eat” button. GTST p. 81
Lord, today, I want to be mindful–conscious, aware–of you and of the things that would ordinarily cause me to grab food even when I am not hungry. I feel stressed about the day ahead and I know that this is not from you. That in you there is peace and joy. I give you the concerns I have and ask that you BE Lord. Please move in to my heart and life right now. Help me not to feel the stress of a rushed morning. I want to worship you, Lord…this entire day, I want to live as an offering to you, a praise to my King. I know that when I do this, when I invite you into the present moment, that nothing can lure me to food outside of your godly boundaries, Lord. Thank you for your boundaries that are there to protect me from outside harmful things and to keep me where I need to be to experience Your best for me. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
I also wanted to blame the food, but not the feelings, which led me to overeat, binge and purge. So as I was diagnosed with celiac disease (gluten intolerance), then allergies to dairy, soy, eggs, cane sugar, vanilla and nutmeg, I came to belive that abstinence from all my allergy foods would free me from disordered eating.There are valid studies that link consumption of gluten and dairy to cravings and overeating, especially for people with diagnosed allergies to those foods. Undigested gluten and dairy proteins (called peptides) can leak through the intestines of some individuals (more likely celiacs). Those peptides can travel through the blood and stimulate the ‘opiate’ receptors of the brain, just like morphine. So gluten and dairy proteins can become ‘opiate’ peptides which influence cravings for foods to which people are allergic. I know I used to always binge on foods containing wheat, dairy and sugar. So I believed I would no longer want to binge or overeat after I stopped eating all my food allergens (esp. gluten and dairy) … UNTIL I started bingeing on SAFE (non allergenic) foods. I continued to binge on those foods regularly (average once a month) until I finally realized that my BELIEFS about the foods and about bingeing motivated my binges. I believed that bingeing helped me cope with physical and emotional problems. I believed certain (allergy safe) sweet foods made me binge. So I went through cycles of bingeing on them, then banning them or putting them far out of reach, doing well for awhile, becoming confident that I could ‘handle’ those foods again (while I still feared those foods), having a moderate amount of my former binge foods, experiencing overwhelming stress, bingeing on whatever I considered my ‘binge’ foods, and starting the cycle all over again. No matter what else I did, I continued to binge until I changed my beliefs about ‘binge foods’. I decided that any foods that weren’t allergens were safe for my body. Then I began to regularly incorporate those foods into my meals until (in my mind) my former ‘binge’ foods became ‘just foods’. I also learned which of those former binge foods I really enjoyed and which I didn’t like as much. I still eat my favorites almost daily. However I have not ‘binged’ for almost 3 months.I also changed how I cope with stress so that I take my fears to God in prayer. I also try to objectively consider stressful reactions to situations relationship so that I respond thoughtfully more often than I react. So I reframed my emotional triggers as well as my beliefs about ‘binge’ foods.
Sue, I am interested in understanding more about what you wrote. I think I get what you are saying about allergies to certain food, bingeing and your thought patterns but I would like more clarification. I don’t blog so I don’t know the rules about exchanging personal information. Maybe Heidi can connect us.Heidi, God continues to use you in my life through your blog. I am praying for you. Don’t let Satan rob you of the joy and peace in not drinking diet, caffeinated soda. I know your body is thanking you. I need courage to do the same. (I drink diet non-caffeinated drinks. Caffeine makes me jittery.) Thank you for your courage to continue to be transparent in your blog. You underestimate your strength!
Marcia: My point about food allergies and bingeing is: Although some studies suggest a link between cravings and food allergies, that did not completely explain my overeating and/or bingeing. I’m not sure if you’ve read in TW material about ‘flesh machinery’ which influence overeating. However ‘flesh machinery’ includes mindless eating habits, beliefs about food, eating and our bodies, past experiences and failure related beliefs. I describe how I dealt with ‘flesh machinery’ in my blog http://healthywithin.blogspot.com You can also contact me at penguinea@hotmail.com