I have lived a long while fearing that the old dieting mentality will again take over my thinking. So, to safe-guard myself from this, I live relatively unstructured when it comes to exercise, eating, and so forth. I fear returning to obsession, so I tend to err on the side of “free-spiritedness.”
The thing is, I think a lack of commitment may be beneath this fear and even any good intentions.
I think God is calling me to try to take babysteps in structuring my life. So I am going to start small. I am going to take a “weekly challenge” for myself. I will see how it goes this first week before stating that I will do it again :-), but my intention is to string together a series of Babystep Weekly Challenges. These things can be relative to physical, emotional, or spiritual aspects to this journey (or any combination), but I want to dare to make physical goals, too…babysteps in overcoming my emotional avoidance–fear–of doing so. I believe that God wants me to experience freedom from this fear.
Ok…so that said…I want this week’s “Babystep Challenge” to be for me to leave *something* on my plate after every meal. I don’t do this to impress God or people. I do it to learn that boundaries can be helpful, to try to be sure to check my heart for greed, and to also help me to be sure to eat just a bit less. I tend to take smaller portions than I used to years ago before I began this leg of my journey, but my portions have grown some over the past 18 months. So this can help me get back to what I *need.*
I must admit…I am afraid I will take this simple goal and twist it into some sort of legalistic rule that I use to gauge my worth as a person. Silly! So I guess that the real Babystep Challenge for me would be “Not to turn this little babystep into a rule!” 🙂
I sure do tend to over-think things!
Anyone else need to take a little “Babystep Challenge?” 🙂