Ok…silly me. I thought that going home would produce flesh machinery. HA!
(Note: For those who don’t know, “Flesh Machinery” is that which causes us to be lured or drawn to food when we aren’t physically hungry. It is things that are in our emotional or habitual or even just mental programming that kick in like being on “auto-pilot”…like when a DVD is on, we go for the microwave popcorn or when Mom comes to visit, we begin foraging through the pantry for the chips…all without concern for physical hunger and satisfaction.)
If I thought going home would be tough relative to flesh machinery, it never crossed my mind how much rougher it could be not to even GET home!
Today, I got to the Tulsa International Airport and my flight to Dallas Fort Worth was …delayed…the airport in DFW was closed for weather. We got off the plane. Then they had a new departure time…we boarded again….then, the news came that the airport in DFW was closed ALL day due to weather! Oh my word! I am NOT a traveller and this is one reason why. Coming here I got scared out of my wits at DFW so I was thrilled that if I had to miss my flight home, that it was before I got to DFW. So, I am here with Jan another day. I sure had a lot of scary moments before I was reunited with Jan with my luggage in her car heading back to her house, though! I am a weather and travelling weanie! Both at once and I am a basket case!
My new flight will leave tomorrow about 5pm from Tulsa. I fly to Dallas Fort Worth and from there fly to Sacramento, getting in at 9:30pm or so.
Flesh Machinery…yes, there is a lot…the emotional turmoil of adjusting my mind to leaving my dear friend behind, psyching myself up for the travel (I hate to travel…have I said that yet?), the knowledge that my sister and mom and husband need me to take care of business with my Mom (many phone calls and emails since the last time I wrote about this in the last entry), feeling sorry for myself: “Lord, why did this have to happen?” (poor baby!), the disappointment/logistics about cancelling my Thin Within class tomorrow night since I won’t be there to lead it, oh golly gosh..I could write a million more things that I could complain about…all of which send me into an emotional topspin…wanting the REST of the chocolate bar (the big one, with almonds…the DOVE one…) that is over there on the counter!!!!!!!
So…instead of eating…inhaling…that mongo sized Dove chocolate bar (the one with the almonds that is open over there on the counter), instead of continuing with my list of all the reasons I am a basket case right now…I choose to take captive this moment (these moments!) and to give praise and thanks to God…
Thank you, God, that I am here with a friend who loves me instead of spending the night in a lonely hotel room in a city where a tornado could come from nowhere and eat me alive! Thank you, Lord, that my husband is a doll to be willing to stay with my kids, be homeschool teacher, Mr. Mom, care for the horses, dogs, and also try to do his regular job….wow, Lord. He is amazing. AND he has been trying to get the bathroom all fixed up while I am gone…I know he has gone to a lot of trouble, Lord…God, thank you that Daniel (my almost 16-year-old) is getting along so well with Mr. Shaun, our neighbor doing the tile work. What a blessing that is! I hope that they can connect on a wonderful new level. Lord, thank you that my Mom just called me. If she is nothing else, she is giggly and silly. That is a good thing (even if the ER staff think she has Alzheimers…). Thank you! Ok…Lord, I am PRAISING YOU for all the good things that you give. Thank you for Jan and her husband, Ali, and their wonderful hospitality. I love my friend. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
Flesh machinery need not have the final word. Being controlled by the Spirit instead of all the “poor me” thoughts and other flesh machinery stuff….one moment at a time, taking captive this moment for you, Lord (and the chocolate bar doesn’t look quite so tempting when I praise YOU!).
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Hi Heidi… Could really empathize with this post. Trying to acknowledge trust rather than fears. Praying for you that the remainder of your time with Jan will be blessed and that your trip home with be both safe and uneventful.
I’m so glad you posted this!! I had a fearful day today, which is not typical for me. I have residual health problems from a West Nile infection three years ago. I’ve never really bounced back and I’ve always wondered why. So I sat on the computer all day researching supplements, symptoms, causes, etc. I got done and I was a mess. I had all of this worldly sorrow thinking I had this problem or that disease, I should try this herb or that drug, I should quit eating certain foods -it consumed me. And even though I spent some time in prayer about it, it was still a time of “how can I fix this on my own?”Later on, I was running an errand with my sister. Driving along in her car, suddenly the Lord reminded me of one thing: grace! I need to actively trust him and wait to see what He will say and do. Gal. 2:22 says not to frustrate the Grace of God. It’s good to acknowledge our fears, so long as they move us closer to Him.I’m sorry for this long comment. I just had to say “I hear you!” and to thank you for the extra help in reminding myself to trust Jesus and not myself. His grace really is sufficient 🙂