What happens when change happens? Will I praise God even then?
Today, I choose to look to the Lord for the grace to accept change where I need to accept it and the strength to pursue godly change, to observe and correct, confess and repent, where that is the appropriate response as well!
Praise the Lord!
I released 100 pounds from June 2006 to October of 2007 by eating when I was hungry and stopping when I was no longer hungry. I kept all of the weight off for a year–until the fall of 2008–but toyed with an anorexic mentality during that year…wondering how low I could get my weight, losing even more, grasping then at “normalcy” again, rebounding back up, and so on, in a cycle of sorts.
Then I began to gain steadily. Some of this was understandable, as I allowed the subtle erosion of godly boundaries. Having now been in the same jeans since December of 2009, I know that things have sort of stabilized. The dust has settled, the smoke has cleared and now I survey what remains.
First, I have to confess–this blog is not written by someone who is “cured,” “healed,” “victorious” forever onward. I choose to praise the Lord anyhow! 🙂 I believe God uses my constant challenges to build in me an inherent dependence on him. Oh! How I NEED him, desperately! I used to want to be “normal” (whatever that is). Now, I just want to learn to lean on him all the more. God will continue to use my challenges with food to draw me closer to him–Praise the Lord!
Secondly, I can see now my body has changed (age-related things, if you get my drift :-)). My size isn’t the only thing that is different. My hunger and satisfied signals have changed. What I had become dependent upon (wow…I just realized this) and relied upon and learned…these things have changed. With menopause have come a number of changes, including what my body feels like for “0” and what it feels like for “5.” (Not to mention how what weight I do carry is distributed very differently than ever before!) I am getting reoriented. I choose to praise the Lord!
Thirdly, the Thin Within principles still work and I continue to be committed to apply them. I have found that the adjustments I need to make now are similar to those that I have had to make in the past when I was sick, taking medicine, or under a lot of stress–the body reacts differently and some things change…like hunger signals. It has taken me this long to see that I am not like I was even a couple of short years ago. I choose to praise the Lord!
So, my story is that of a sojourner imperfectly walking the path and finding her way. My desire has always been to “arrive” and to tell you that you can, too. But instead, I see now that my message is that God is found here…out in this wandering, winding, path through the wilderness. Where everything else I depend on has changed, he remains the same. So, I am here, in the desert, needing him and the provision of “manna” daily…He alone is dependable. I choose to praise the Lord! I have HIM!
I have never really been here before, in this particular place. God really IS doing a new thing!
In many ways, I am beginning this journey afresh–as if for the first time!
God has extended me grace to know and accept that change happens. My body has changed…it looks different than it ever has. My hunger signals have changed. And I am growing to a place of accepting all of this. Now that I am over my disappointment that things aren’t like they were before…that this might not be quite so easy (the physical part of this…the rest has *never* been “easy”), will I allow HIM to be my motivation? The bathroom scale can’t taunt me or reward me as I don’t have one any more.
I choose to praise the Lord!
I am thankful for the grace to accept change happens, but I am also thankful for the grace to enact intentional change. I won’t embrace the mentality of “victim” and bemoan the realities of my aging body. Instead, I choose to praise God that I am at this new stage of life, that there are yet many new things to learn.
I will press on and choose to praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!
How about you? Are there changes you need to accept? Are there changes you need to resist–they represent compromise and erosion of godly boundaries?
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This is the last day for the Praise Changes Thing Book Contest! You can win one of three copies of Ethel Herr’s Lord, Show Me Your Glory. Just comment here and you will be entered to win! Today is the last day to comment to be included in the drawing. I will randomly draw three names from my “hat” first thing (California time) Tuesday morning.:-)
Heidi,I want to remind you that we are all human and will never fully "arrive" until the day that God comes back for us. I am very much like you…where I am constantly re-evaluating myself, which can be good and bad. The good part comes from a continuous conversation of asking God to search our hearts, but the bad is we tend to be blinded by all the failures and have no perception of all the small victories. Never stop sharing on here, because someone out there, in this ocean of floating fish, hears you.
Heidi,I want to remind you that we are all human and will never fully "arrive" until the day that God comes back for us. I am very much like you…where I am constantly re-evaluating myself, which can be good and bad. The good part comes from a continuous conversation of asking God to search our hearts, but the bad is we tend to be blinded by all the failures and have no perception of all the small victories. Never stop sharing on here, because someone out there, in this ocean of floating fish, hears you.
Hey heidi,Thanks for the blog. I have gone back the beginning and read most of the blog. I have even cut and pasted parts of your adventure and emailed it back to myself, so I won't forget the most inportant things you have discovered on your adventure.Thanks again for taking me along on the ride.Glenda
Hey heidi,Thanks for the blog. I have gone back the beginning and read most of the blog. I have even cut and pasted parts of your adventure and emailed it back to myself, so I won't forget the most inportant things you have discovered on your adventure.Thanks again for taking me along on the ride.Glenda
Hi, Rain. I am so glad you stopped by and commented. Thank you for your encouragement.You have summed my intention so well: "We are all human and will never fully 'arrive' until the day that God comes back for us."Exactly! Sometimes, it is easy for people to forget that. I spout off here about all kinds of things and that may make it *appear* that I think of myself as some sort of an expert…about the only thing I feel like I know well is this (Thin Within/conscious-mindful-eating) journey…I know that it IS a process with a starts and stops, victories, and perceived failures. I am an "expert" on that, all right! LOL! It has never been about the weight so it will never be about losing it and keeping it off. It is about my heart…giving it away and keeping on giving it away…hopefully daily, hourly, moment-by-moment if need be!Many who visit don't really buy that it isn't about weight and food, so it helps me to mention it every so often! LOL! You are SO right about the "continuous conversation" with God! Thanks for saying it so well!
Hi, Rain. I am so glad you stopped by and commented. Thank you for your encouragement.You have summed my intention so well: "We are all human and will never fully 'arrive' until the day that God comes back for us."Exactly! Sometimes, it is easy for people to forget that. I spout off here about all kinds of things and that may make it *appear* that I think of myself as some sort of an expert…about the only thing I feel like I know well is this (Thin Within/conscious-mindful-eating) journey…I know that it IS a process with a starts and stops, victories, and perceived failures. I am an "expert" on that, all right! LOL! It has never been about the weight so it will never be about losing it and keeping it off. It is about my heart…giving it away and keeping on giving it away…hopefully daily, hourly, moment-by-moment if need be!Many who visit don't really buy that it isn't about weight and food, so it helps me to mention it every so often! LOL! You are SO right about the "continuous conversation" with God! Thanks for saying it so well!
Hi, Glenda. Thanks so much for coming by the blog and commenting. I hope there is something that encourages you. I would love to dialog about any of it that you may have questions about. Just give a holler!
Hi, Glenda. Thanks so much for coming by the blog and commenting. I hope there is something that encourages you. I would love to dialog about any of it that you may have questions about. Just give a holler!
Hello Heidi — Thanks so much for this devotion. I am expecting God to make some big changes in me as I begin the TW book — working slowly through it. Please pray that I would understand and be obedient to what God wants me to do. Sometimes I have a difficult time understanding myself — if that makes any sense. Pray that God would make all things clear.
Hello Heidi — Thanks so much for this devotion. I am expecting God to make some big changes in me as I begin the TW book — working slowly through it. Please pray that I would understand and be obedient to what God wants me to do. Sometimes I have a difficult time understanding myself — if that makes any sense. Pray that God would make all things clear.
Believerjkj, You make PERFECT sense!!! Lord, Please bless this precious one today as she continues her journey. I pray that you would bring clarity and that confusion would be FAR from her, Lord! Help her to sense you–most of all–closer to your heart! We praise and trust you in Jesus' name! AMen.
Believerjkj, You make PERFECT sense!!! Lord, Please bless this precious one today as she continues her journey. I pray that you would bring clarity and that confusion would be FAR from her, Lord! Help her to sense you–most of all–closer to your heart! We praise and trust you in Jesus' name! AMen.
Heidi — Thanks so much for your encouragement! I think you're right — I want God to make everything perfect — today! He would rather work slowly — layer by layer — at a pace that will bring lasting freedom. That's probably why I get so concerned about not understanding myself and what He wants to deal with in me. I'm trying to think thoughts and ideas He is not ready to handle in me yet. Praise God for your insight and His work! And thank you for praying for me!
Heidi — Thanks so much for your encouragement! I think you're right — I want God to make everything perfect — today! He would rather work slowly — layer by layer — at a pace that will bring lasting freedom. That's probably why I get so concerned about not understanding myself and what He wants to deal with in me. I'm trying to think thoughts and ideas He is not ready to handle in me yet. Praise God for your insight and His work! And thank you for praying for me!