I guess naming this blog entry “Humbled” is definitely a misnomer.

I can’t truly be “humbled” until I bend my knee. Which I haven’t…yet.

I know it is imminent, but I am busy having my fit, thank you very much. Sometimes I *want* to be miserable and I will thank anyone and everyone to stay out of my way and definitely NOT to remind me of all the things I have spouted off about here on my blog (and elsewhere) about *gratitude*.

Isn’t it “interesting” how we spout off ever-so-arrogantly about something and then discover–lo and behold–we don’t live what we have spouted off about?

Right now I don’t even want to think about that…Instead, I will just say that it is a sorry case of irony that I named the previous entry “Some habits are hard to break.” It was about a binge that didn’t really happen.

Well, this one did.

What is UP with this?

For months, I have considered finding or making up a recipe for peanut-butter, granola, almond slice cookies. Yesterday, I went into a bit of a tizzy about some things that happened. Got careless with my eating in the afternoon and evening. Wait…let’s be honest. It wasn’t “careless.”…it was intentional and rebellious. I got mad at God, if I boil it down.

Today, I continued my tizzy fit. I didn’t plan to, but I did. So by 10am I had enjoyed raw peanut-butter, granola, almond cookie dough…refridgerated it for 2 hours only to cook them up and have cookies for lunch and for mid-afternoon snack…when was the last time I felt a 0? About 10am just before the raw cookie dough which was absolutely wonderful, I might add.


What is this about? It is about my two biggest issues…things I thought I had dealt with again and again…only to discover there is yet a need. More forgiveness work…Mother again.

So what can I say to someone who might be reading this blog who looked for encouragement by visiting? Well, I know this…this is a temporary setback. Even a “naturally thin person” who had been thin all her life might have episodes like this. So I will NOT, decidedly NOT…allow it to define me now or tomorrow or any more moments.

Shameful behavior doesn’t have to be given the “right” to determine more shameful behavior.

God is more powerful than my past…whether it was a past of 5 minutes ago, 5 years ago, or 5 decades ago. I will choose to believe the truth–that God will determine my present and future. My past behavior will not. PERIOD.

How about you? Are you, like me, right now…choosing to MAGNIFY something that chaps your hide? Something that sets your emotions into freak-out, hyper-drive mode? Are you making stupid decisions (like about eating) based on this stuff?

So after I go take a hot shower and kick the dog (just kidding about that part–though she deserves it)–and after the family and I sit and watch an Andy Griffith Show rerun on DVD…I will try to take time to be still and know that God is God…and, perhaps, to magnify…to choose to FOCUS ON and MAKE BIG…the blessings God has showered on my life.

With an act of my will…I will choose….