Spring cleaning. It conjures up images of spray bottles of 409 and wet, dirty rags, brooms, a vacuum, and definitely piles of stuff hauled out of closets into the hall way or bedrooms. Head outside and it isn’t much better. To “clean the garage,” everything has to be hauled out into the light and sifted through. If someone comes along at just the wrong moment (and it seems like “just the wrong moment” lasts for days when a real, full-blown cleaning attempt is under way), it looks like a cyclone has hit–or worse–it appears to be a war-zone with carnage everywhere. One must excavate to find the floor and if the phone rings, hope is lost!
When doing a really thorough job of cleaning, things always look worse before they look better.
That, as opposed to the type of hurried cleaning I have done each week preparing for bible study at my house. Those “cleanings” are superficial at best. I grab everything that doesn’t belong in the living room or kitchen–those areas typically seen by guests–and throw it in to the bedroom where it will be “hidden” behind a closed door. Then go about my business of vacuuming, mopping and dusting–all the while knowing there is a mess to deal with in my bedroom.
God is definitely at work in my life doing the massive overhaul cleaning project…the kind that looks worse before it looks better. Just like during “spring cleaning” times, if I fixate on the mess in the hallway and become discouraged and end the process, it will be before He has accomplished what must be done. The mess has to be allowed so that we can sift through things and decide what has to go, what should stay, what room can be made for new things.
I have been processing so many things. There is this sense that my life has turned totally chaotic, but I know that God is up to something big. I must keep the faith, though. Right now, as all sorts of yuck is flushed to the surface for Him to help me deal with, I have to believe that this is part of his sanctification process in me. Even if outwardly my physical body has changed…and isn’t as “thin” as it was…that isn’t the point. In fact, it really seems so bizarre that I put so much emphasis on that given that is one aspect to who I am that doesn’t go with me on to eternity. My character does. Who I am does. God is doing an eternal work in me.
So here in the chaos, I have a chance to see that there are some things that haven’t yet been surrendered. I mean, before I suspected…now I know that this is the case. So as the Lord and I work through the “mess in the hall,” I realize that some of this is about letting go…things that are familiar, that I think are precious–or at the very least–are mine–may have to be surrendered to the county land fill (if you get my drift).
Whatever You’re Doing (Something Heavenly)
It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender…
To…
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It’s time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out
Thanks for posting this Heidi. I’m feeling the same thing over here.