Wow–blindsided! I didn’t see this one coming.

I don’t have a scale at home. Now I really know why all over again.

Long story short: I went to the doctor with a mild health concern. After two prescriptions that made things worse, instead of better, I was able to tell there was a change in my weight because of the way my clothes fit. The scale at the doctor’s office confirmed that I lost 8 pounds in about 2 weeks.   The weight change was from not digesting things well due to bad reactions to the medicines prescribed. This is NOT a good thing!

The health problem is (I think) gone.

Now I have this “scale thing” present in my head.

It is amazing to me, in fact, that I am such a mess mentally from having been weighed and having this change! Suddenly everything I do or eat is being evaluated in terms of “I want the number on the scale to be lower the next time I go in, whenever that may be…”  It concerns me, of course, that I lost 8 pounds lost in 2 weeks from being ill in response to medicines, but, in my twisted way of thinking–the old dieting mentality has kicked in–I have thoughts like: “Oh, well, let’s make the most of it and keep losing.” This is the way my mind used to work when I got the flue in the “old days.”  It is like I feel compelled (truly…compelled) to act like the weight loss is something I must preserve and build on…Good grief.

This wouldn’t be so bad except it is with me constantly. I feel the presence of a number to define me, constantly. I have been free of this for over a year now. It is like a monkey on my back again. It is odd to me that I am so weak. That I can’t seem to use a scale as a tool even once a year…

God is using this to show me just how much I need him to experience freedom.

How about you? Do you battle with mental “junk” that happens when you step on the scale? Do you allow the number to define you? We are more than our weight! The number does not have the right to define us–only our Lord has that privilege!