The last couple of days have been interesting.

First of all, yesterday my daughter and I had a BLAST clothes shopping at Kohl’s! Oh my word! I can now buy clothes at a NORMAL store! This is VERY dangerous and will require that I submit my WILL to God who loves that I want to celebrate, but not that I would do it addictively! WHOO HOO!!!! I mean, how many comfy pair of jeans does a girl REALLY need? (Just one more, please, Lord???? I would love a pair of Levi’s next…LOL!)

Michaela and I have similar tastes so we even bought the same shorts (just Levi shorts) in vastly different sizes of course and the same tops. How fun is that? 🙂 Additionally, i bought two more pairs of pants and a dressy shirt/jacket thing…well, not dressy compared to most peoples’ standards, but since I usually wear sweatshirts, it is dressy for ME! LOL!

It is amazing how easy it would be to go bonkers and spend a lot of money on clothes. We did more than our fair share. Fortunately, I have a very understanding hubby.

Today I realized something. But I have to back up for a minute. I don’t know if this is true or not, but in *my* experience it has seemed that as a heavy lady, most middle aged men treat heavy middle aged women almost with disdain. I have handled that by not looking at them or expecting anything of them. I have avoided them. But I think I have also generally just not looked at anyone…I realized that today when I thought, “Gosh, people–*men*–have been friendly and more chivalrous lately. I wonder why?” Well, maybe it is because I am looking UP and outward to others. Maybe *i* am being more friendly and so others are just reciprocating. I don’t know for sure. I do know that Tina Hutton, while helping me with Harley in December, commented to me that I don’t look up when I walk. I knew then it was shame…but it was also a way of avoiding that judgment that often seems to be there when people look at a heavy person with what sure seems to be disdain. i can avoid that when I don’t look up.

I know I look up more now. But it is sad to me that it takes me physically releasing weight to be willing to step out of shame…and to be willing to smile and be friendly with those who may need a friendly face. Goodness, the Lord of GLORY resides in me no matter WHAT size I am! if that isn’t a reason to look up and smile, I don’t know what IS!!!!!

Anyhow, NO MORE SHAME!!!!!