A very young Michaela and Daniel Bylsma, with the Christmas Dog, Samson.
Holidays and weekends are wonderful. Many of us get to enjoy a footloose and fancy free attitude. We get to “let down.”
But often this change in our routine brings with it some challenging trials to navigate.
Often we get a sense of “safety” and predictability from our “business as usual” routine during the week when we don’t have holiday happenings, weekend wanderings, or guests landing on our doorsteps. So managing these “zaps” to our routine require intentionality!
The question becomes: How can we incorporate some sense of predictability and a friendly bit of routine into our weekends or holidays or when family/friends are visiting without ruining the experience?
1. ) Integrating some aspect of predictability into our lives can be very helpful without spoiling the party! Sometimes, I call this “planned spontaneity.” For instance, if we know that the family really enjoys suddenly jumping in the car to go out looking at Christmas lights followed by a stop at the favorite Marie Callendar’s for pie, it can help us to plan to be at a zero for this event if we are intentional about the timing of the “surprise” visit out to look at the lights and to enjoy pie. Rather than leave these sorts of events up to chance, we can build the joy and suspense in our family members’ lives by surprising them with a plan earlier in the day. I have found that the family looks forward to the event and the joy isn’t diminished. In fact, it seems to be intensified in a fun way as we anticipate the outing all day! AND I get the added benefit of not having left something like that to chance when I might still be satisfied after having dinner just an hour prior. I can plan to be hungry so that I eat pie guilt-free!
2. ) When company comes to visit, I know that meals may not be quite so predictable. Having an assortment of nuts and fresh fruit/veggies available for pre-meal munching if we get hungry before the meal is ready can be a life-saver! This eliminates the concern that we will get too hungry before the holiday feast is prepared. That said, however, we have also learned over the years that we won’t melt into nothingness if we get hungry even an hour before we gather at the table and the meal is ready. “When in doubt, leave it out” is a helpful adage. Having company doesn’t need to spell disaster for our 0 to 5 boundaries. Instead, we can commit ourselves to honoring our godly boundaries, call on God’s strength and have some “fortifications” on hand that we can turn to if we need to. Knowing that foods are accessible any time we get hungry, but also that we are perfectly safe and ok if we get hungry and linger there for a little while, helps prevent the panicked eating we sometimes do when things are less predictable.
3.) For me, to maintain my focus and not give in to continuous celebratory grazing during holiday time, I have to carve out time to renew my mind each day at least once, if not twice. I can do this by setting my alarm a bit earlier than normal so that I take the time to be still with the Lord before company or family members awaken or arrive. Lately, I also take time at 5pm each evening to refocus…to recommit my eating to the Lord for the evening–even five minutes helps! While this may seem to be a sacrifice that is too great for us when we would rather use those extra moments to sleep in or to relax, I have found that it is worth it. Establishing a priority to taking time to bible study, review Truth Cards, Truth Journal, listen to Sound Cloud files, journal a set of “I Deserve a Donut” questions or other similar activities brings me out the other side with a sense of accomplishment and victory! It is worth it!
What About You?
What baby step of routine can you incorporate into the days ahead that lead up to Christmas? What about for Christmas Day? How will you maintain your godly boundaries in spite of the challenges to your routine? If you share here, you may inspire and encourage others!
Christina posted yesterday about the spiritual warfare she is experiencing lately.
I am in the trenches, too. Even though I may be a “veteran” and have been at this a loooooong time, I nevertheless go through seasons of difficulty. To be honest, this is the most challenging I have ever experienced.
As a result, I have been struggling with an ungodly behavior pattern in the evenings. It is a pattern of not caring nearly so much about obedience as I do to use food to deal with life…to cope!
My accountability partner challenged me to truth journal even several times each week, knowing that God has used it in such an amazing way with me in the past. I am so grateful for this challenge and have since decided that I need to do it every day.
To coddle myself into being willing to do this, though, I told myself when the urge to eat outside of my boundaries hit in the evening, “I can eat after I truth journal…” This is a strategy I learned from Barb Raveling in her Taste for Truth Bible Study material (have I ever confessed to you all that I wish I had written that study? LOL!). After I have truth journaled or used another method to renew my mind, I often don’t want to eat outside of my godly boundaries after all–which is, of course, the point. As warped as this sounds, this causes me to be more willing to truth journal. It is almost like in my old-way-of-thinking-now-resurfacing, I tell myself I get a food reward for truth journaling! Crazy, right? Especially given all the things I share here at the blog. By telling myself I can ignore :-/ my boundaries if I want to after I have done some of the nitty gritty renewing of the mind work, I end up being more willing to live within the boundaries God has established for me. After I truth journal, my heart has a different focus and I feel as though I have feasted. My hungry heart has been fed a rich, nutritious “meal” of what it really longed for.
In this pretty intimate video (that I have designated as “unlisted” at YouTube), I share with you as the struggle unfolds. I give you a glimpse into the battle that is raging for me (even by the light of the Christmas tree) and what I am doing about it in real time. I also tell what happened after I renewed my mind.
I hope it is encouraging to you. There is really no way around the hard work of training our minds to think differently. THIS will cause lasting change.
If you get blog notifications in email, you will have to visit the blog for the video to display correctly.
How About You?
What work are you willing to go to in order to REALLY beat the tendency to eat outside of 0 and 5?
“Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”
Luke 10:40
The month of December is packed with crammed schedules, stretched budgets, and the ever present assortment of sweets, alcohol, and all-night shopping. Whatever your particular temptation, it will be waiting for you in abundance. When we add in the visits from family and far away relatives, there is a potent brew of stress swirling around us. We can be so easily distracted by it all, and miss the good gifts God wants to give us this year.
If you tend to get a little (or a lot!) stressed out by Christmas, you’re not alone. Christmas is an emotionally-charged holiday. A Consumer Reports survey found that 90% have at least one thing we dread about the holidays. Dread is a strong word; it implies a gnawing fear about something we have no control over. Let me share my top three things I am tempted to dread, and then I’ll share my secret for stressing less.
1. Body: At Christmas, I often visit with relatives whom I haven’t seen all year. Many times, other women will want to talk about weight and diets. Sometimes, other women might even comment on my weight. Even if they are complimenting me on “winning” the war with the scale, I am immediately tempted into pride or fear or even resentment. Any discussion of weight or diets is like sticking a finger into old emotional wounds. No matter what is being said, it can stir unpleasant feelings.
2. Money: Obsession tends to shift around in my life, looking for a home. If I stop obsessing about weight and food, I can easily start obsessing about money. And during the holiday season, the extra spending makes me feel uncomfortable. I am often tempted to blow my budget, just like it was a diet. “Oh, well,” I might think. “I’m spending so much on everyone else, I might as well blow the whole budget.”
3. Expectations: I want my house to be decorated and clean. I want everyone to be happy and the kids to get along. I want to feel the magic of Christmas in my heart from the moment I wake up until I collapse from exhaustion at night. The problem is, I don’t have a set designer, a food stylist, or even a maid. I do, however, have PMS and occasional insomnia. I just can’t ever seem to meet my own expectations. And neither can Christmas. Sometimes I secretly wonder what is wrong with me…
It would seem that Christmas could give me, and all of us, plenty of reasons to overeat! Christmas can be emotionally-charged because there are so many opportunities to be aware of the aching hole in our hearts. And when we try to fill the hole, we often fill it with the wrong things. Spiritual bondage is defined as filling the hole in our hearts with things that only make the hole bigger.
So how can we navigate the season with joy? How do we fill our hearts with what they need? For me, the secret is thinking small. The bigger my fears, the larger my problems seem, the smaller my focus must become. In particular, I am focusing on 0-5 eating, and here’s why:
Living within the boundary of 0-5 eating seems to pay extra dividends during the holiday season. With all the triggers and temptations around me, staying within safe boundaries eases all my stress. The comfort of this one godly boundary soothes my nerves. It’s like my heavenly Father draping His strong arm around my shoulders.
0-5 eating pays dividends all year long, of course. But during Christmas, 0-5 eating keeps me focused on Jesus. As I focus on following His lead in this one area, all the other distractions and dreads seem to fade into background noise. Christmas, with all its necessary preparations, becomes a quieter, sweeter experience. What comes to me as a test of faith (giving up that extra piece of fudge!) becomes the key to release from all my other my burdens.
How about you?
What is it about the Christmas season that seems daunting to you today? Have you ever noticed that keeping one godly boundary, even imperfectly, seems to make the whole day more peaceful? How could the godly boundary of 0-5 eating bring you comfort and peace this Christmas season?
What does success at Thin Within look like to you?
Like many, when I first stumbled upon Thin Within, I was looking for a way to lose weight. Sure, I wanted to do it in a way that honored God, but really… I just wanted to drop some excess weight and fit into a smaller pants size. And God was faithful, He drew me closer to Himself and He also allowed me to release 40 pounds.
If you read my post on Failure, you’ll know that in the years since first coming to Thin Within, I have regained 30 of those pounds back. And during that time, God has really been challenging me on how I define Success and Failure with Thin Within. In the last 4 months through my coaching with Heidi, I have been able to take a hard look at how I’ve set my standards for what success really is.
In these past fruitful months, God has revealed to me over and over that success with Thin Within is about so much more than just releasing excess weight. It started slowly, but I could hear Him whisper to me each week that went by, “What if my definition of success is more than just losing weight? What if that is just a small piece of the pie?”
He began to show me that success really meant having daily quiet times with Him. Success was about surrendering my selfish ambition, my pride over appearance and my self-centered efforts to release weight. Victory took the form of me depending on him in humble submission on a daily (and often minute by minute) basis. Success was committing to praying against the enemy’s attempts to throw me off track with Thin Within. Victory was inward change in my heart that was reflected in my outward actions.
And as the weeks have turned into months He has shown me more and more about what true victory in Thin Within really looks like. There are so many wonderful ways we can experience success with Thin Within. And I just can’t keep all of these things to myself! Consider the many ways we can experience victory in Thin Within through Christ.
Success is saying no to a second helping when you’ve reached a 5
Success is getting back on the horse if you’ve fallen off
Success is dying to yourself
Success is seeing your faith deepen and your walk with God strengthen
Success is listening to your body and obeying its hunger signals
Success is asking God to help you get through that all-you-can-eat buffet
Success is defeating Satan’s attempts to steer you in the wrong direction
Success is seeking the Lord’s face each and every day in prayer and through His word
Success is rejecting preventative eating
Success is not allowing a “slip up” or failure to hold you down
Success is seeing that your body actually thrives within 0-5 boundaries
Success is being set free from food’s power over you
Success is overcoming a stronghold for the very first time (hallelujah!)
Success is not letting yourself fall into shame if you ate from 6-9
Success is seeing changes in your heart, not just your appearance
Success is running to Him in prayer when you feel tempted to start eating and you’re at a 3
Success is spending just one day where every meal was eaten between 0-5
Success is setting aside attempts to lose weight through your own power
Success is honoring our bodies with foods that make us feel energized and satisfied
Success is giving all the glory to God when you release even a tenth of a pound
Success is allowing His power to work through your weakness
Success is walking in humble dependence on God in this journey
Success is overcoming a challenging situation for the first time (0-5 on Thanksgiving Day anyone?!)
Success is breaking a bad habit
Success is seeing the fruit of Observation and Correction
Success is realizing you are being set free from bondage, one chain link at a time
Success is when Thin Within becomes more about growing closer to our Savior than dropping a pants size
I believe that God absolutely positively allows success to also include the release of excess weight. I’m living proof of that. (Editors Note: Becky has released ten pounds in the past four months!) But that is just one small piece of the victory pie! There are so many other pieces of the pie that He cares more about…like how our hearts are being transformed and how our minds are being renewed and how we are being drawn closer to our Creator.
How about you?
Have you experienced success with Thin Within other than releasing weight? Has God shown you any other pieces of the victory pie in addition to weight loss? Have you experienced freedom from strongholds or broken a bad habit? Did you see anything on the list of successes that you didn’t even realize were successes? Let’s celebrate those together!
When someone asks me what transformed my journey from one of not succeeding, not experiencing victory to being able to release the weight and to stay a healthy weight (for the first time in my life) since 2007, I know immediately that growing in gratitude is at the top of the list. Related to this is my willingness to develop a heart and life of Praise. It really is NOT about the food OR about the weight. God wants to do so much more in us!
The reason that I believe praise and gratitude are such effective weapons against the enemy and my flesh is because:
1.) When I praise and give thanks, I am exalting the Giver…God
2.) When I exalt GOD, I am, by definition, taking my place at his feet…recognizing that HE is the potter and I am the clay–this is a posture of humility
3.) When I take a humble posture, I am not as prone to argue with him about MY food, MY will, MY way, MY body, MY eating, MY MY MY. Instead, I am focusing “GODwardly.”
Today seems like a great day to share yet another praise-fest with you all. I hope this encourages your heart:
While to me, praise and worship is about declaring God’s attributes and characteristics back to him, gratitude, to me, is expressing thankfulness for his gifts. His gifts are a product of his grace. Again, as I thank him for his gifts, I exalt him. I say, in effect, I am the one in need and he is the one who needs nothing but gives everything. This transforms me. If I am feeling sorry for myself (something that has often led me to eat outside of my boundaries), practicing gratitude — thanking God for his gifts — or praising Him — proclaiming who He is and what He is like, are sure-fire ways to get me out of my “woe is me” mentality.
I have a 1000 Blessings Blog here. I am counting my way to 1000 of His gifts! Slowly, but I am doing it…and He is changing me!
What will you do to humble yourself today and exalt God? How might that affect the way you view all the tantalizing options available to you to eat today?
