I was bee-bopping along…like always. Somewhat carefree, though only as carefree as I could be with many significant life changes happening in such a short period.
Eager to help as many people as possible to experience the freedom that Jesus has purchased for them, I am trying to build the ministry of “God is Doing a New Thing,” responding to emails and texts, phone calls and blog comments.
A common theme in these written and spoken conversations is the way life throws us a curve and so often these curves upset the applecart (sorry to mix the metaphors there!). The person was going along, getting her bearings with 0 to 5 eating, experiencing some element of joy and peace and freedom when all of a sudden out of nowhere, sickness hits or a trial or a massive temptation or…whatever it may be.
This is life in a Genesis 3 world (something I learned about from my pastor). Things don’t always happen the way we anticipate. The best way to grow and move through these challenges and do so without a major setback in our godly eating boundaries is to take stock of what happened, get back on the horse, and get going again, making a plan for the next time things go wonky. If we are proactive we don’t need to let a “failure” or misstep define what happens next. Yes, I have passed this advice out quite readily.
Easy to say and quite another to do.
I should have seen it coming, perhaps. Nothing new and major in at least 36 seconds, after all. 😉
At 3:30 in the morning one day last week, my life took a strong left turn. I want desperately to describe what happened, but it would be imprudent to do so. There is nothing that compares to this. It was extremely dramatic. I had no idea just how much it had thrown me until I surveyed the damage I was doing in the kitchen following the event and the subsequent response of other people involved.
I had reverted to old old old old…ancient… “I-thought-this-was-dead-and-buried” … behaviors. I had eaten my way through anything and everything. Not only was I not getting hungry first, but I was stuffed all day long.
Just to be clear, friends. This was last week!NOT 5 years ago! ME! I am supposed to have this WIRED! After all, I quickly encourage others how to navigate the murky waters (boy, I am filled with metaphors today) of unexpected challenges.
When I asked myself, “What is going on here?” I gave myself a flippant response… “It’s temporary…”
Hold everything…
I finally (after four days) came up for air.
I see now that what happened in our home triggered some flashbacks from my childhood. Nothing had ever done that like this event. I thought I was past having things triggered like that. But I was able to see it with such clarity.
As a child, I remember numerous times when my mom would overdose on sleeping pills, no doubt prescribed by my M.D. dad. (Weird, huh?)
In the dark of night the sirens and lights of an ambulance or Sheriff’s car came blasting down our tiny dead-end street. My unconscious mom would be wheeled out on a gurney. They would load her up and send her on to the hospital. I wondered if she would be dead when I saw her next or if she would come back the next day. My aunt and uncle would come and take me to their house to spend the night.
No one ever talked about what happened. Ever. No one ever asked me if I was ok or how I felt or…well, anything.
I am pretty sure that it was during these “events” that I learned to comfort myself with food. My aunt and uncle didn’t have children and didn’t know how to be around children so, while they could provide basic care, they didn’t have a clue how to play with me and didn’t really have any intention of doing so. I remember my uncle taking me to the “Food Circus,” an amazing place where we could go in and there was something for everyone! (It was sort of like the food courts in the mall or airports these days…we didn’t have food courts back then!) Almost all of my memories of staying with my Aunt and Uncle during these events, are of eating with them. I wonder if it was because they didn’t know what else to do with me other than feed me.
I played with their black lab, too, and prowled around in the wild jungle that was their backyard. At the time, the event with my mom overdosing and attempting to end her life never seemed to exist. I learned to live in a world where what I saw I didn’t see, what I heard, I didn’t hear, what I felt, I didn’t feel. Period. Move on.
So, when last Wednesday something traumatic happened…something that triggered these memories…and there was no ability to talk about it within my home for various reasons, I guess it is no small wonder that I turned to old coping mechanisms. It wasn’t conscious, certainly…but now that I know, I need to STOP it all. Deal with the pain and heartache. Forgive where it needs to happen. Draw close to my heavenly Abba.
I believe that is what this is about. This eating thing isn’t about us “getting it” and “getting thin” or “getting healthy.” It is about “getting” HIM. In all His fullness. This is what He desires. It is about getting dependent on our God. It is about seeing him as sufficient for my need. He is my portion.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:25-26
Have you been thrown for a loop recently? If not, you will probably be soon. Life may throw you a curve as it often does. What can you do to plan for success, to guard your boundaries, to emerge celebrating a great victory?
If I want to act differently…like sustain behaviors that support my godly goals of eating 0 to 5…then I have to believe differently. Like in this case, I have to believe that it takes less food than I wantto eat to sustain me. Or I have to believe that I don’t need to be on a strict calorie-counting diet and exercise program in order to release weight.
If I am going to believe these things, I have to stop the thoughts that I have that “rehearse” the lies I believe over and over again. I have to replace the thoughts that are based on lies (or half truths) with God’s BIG T Truth.
So how to do this practically:
If you catch yourself with a runaway thought, you want to stop it as soon as you notice it. For instance, let’s say you have the thought “I need something sweet.” BINGO! A potentially runaway thought that may take you on a wild train ride and derail your godly goals. By stopping this runaway thought and taking control of it, you can inform yourself with the truth. In this situation, here are some truths that may be good ones to think about:
I don’t need something sweet. I merely want something sweet.
If I still want something sweet when I am hungry, I can have it then.
Will eating something sweet now (outside of my hunger/satisfaction boundary) satisfy what is really going on here? Probably not.
If I eat this (outside of my boundary) what next? Will this lead to me heading farther and farther off the track?
I don’t need anything sweet and if I busy myself with something else to do, my thought about eating will subside and go away.
If I don’t eat outside of my boundaries, I will have the joy of obedience and the peace that comes from making a great choice.
Etc!
In the video clip below, we see the sharks take a “pledge.” They start with an “affirmation” of truth…what they want to believe. They speak the truth to themselves hoping that it will cause them to act differently. You can see that they really are a hopeful bunch who get the idea that telling themselves a truth that they want to believe might affect their actions!
(Note: This video clip is mostly for comic relief. LOL! I hope it makes you laugh. Although something went awry with this approach for Bruce and his friends, it can be effective for us!)
What are some beliefs you have that cause you to act in a way that counters your godly goals?
What are truths you can tell yourself instead?
What is a practical way you can incorporate this “telling yourself the truth” into your daily life before other thoughts run away with you?
A frustrated dieter for years, you are finally taking the plunge! You have decided to give Thin Within a try. You are aware that the “freedom phase” — the beginning stage of Thin Within where you are encouraged to set aside all dieting laws and rules — is likely to be very challenging for you. You are aware at every turn that eating whatever you feel like eating can be tricky. It has been so long since you have enjoyed chocolate guilt-free, for instance. Regular dressing on your salad instead of fat-free has been unheard of until now. The idea sounds wonderful, but it is extremely frightening to trust this process.
You begin the day tentatively…some toast, an egg, and a bit of yogurt. You are hungry and the food actually tastes good…well, all except the toast–you know it would taste better with some butter, or at least some jelly, but you toss it out instead of risk it. You stop eating when you are no longer hungry and head into the day.
A few hours later, you sense hunger approaching. You finish the meeting with a co-worker and by the time you can break for lunch you are famished. Again, aware that you are allowed great freedom in your food selections, you nevertheless, “play it safe” with a salad at lunch. You want to reach for the regular salad dressing, but guilt overwhelms you. You are just positive that you need to be careful about things like this if you are to lose weight.
You pick up the kids and their friends after school. It’s the last day of class and they are in a celebratory mood! School is out for summer! They ask if you will take them by the grocery store to get the fixings for hot fudge sundaes. One thing these kids are is naturally thin eaters! Upon arriving home, they scoop themselves modest portions of ice cream, heat up some hot fudge in the microwave, topping the masterpieces with a smidgen of whipped cream, sliced almonds, and chocolate sprinkles. After enjoying conversation and their snacks around the dining table, they head to the TV room for a much-deserved movie.
Now, you find yourself alone in the kitchen. The refrigerator and freezer with aaaaalll those hot fudge sundae fixings stands there as if to say, “What are you going to do?” Your stomach is clearly empty–and no small wonder, when you consider what you have eaten today. The internal battle commences. Will you enjoy some ice cream? Or will you play it safe?
Prayerfully taking what feels like a large leap of faith, you scoop yourself a modest portion of ice cream, drizzle a tablespoon (or so) of hot fudge over it and forego the whipped cream and almonds altogether. Oh! Dare you really EAT this? Sure, you are hungry…but how on EARTH can you justify eating this? It is SO decadent and it really can’t be ok. Making a quick mental calculation for the premium ice cream and the hot fudge, you are just positive that this is an easy 350 calories if not closer to 500. “Surely, Thin Within can’t teach that I am not supposed to do the math!” You wonder how you could possibly lose any weight if you eat ice cream and hot fudge. You are just sure you need to learn to say NO to yourself. You are reminded of what the leader at your Thin Within class said only the night before about being willing, when you are hungry, to select foods you will enjoy. You know you would LOVE to have this sundae. So, you sit down, and try desperately to calm your mind.
You dig your spoon into the creamy ambrosia as hot fudge drips off the edge of the spoon. You savor the flavors slowly while an internal battle continues to rage. You can’t shake the guilt. “I can’t eat this! This is wrong! If I am going to do the right thing, I can’t eat this! This is so bad for me! I am abusing my body when I eat like this! I am such a failure. This can’t be ok for me–maybe for others, but not for me.”
You force yourself to finish eating the small sundae anyhow–after all, this is “freedom!” (“Thin Within says so!”) You, however, are plagued by guilt. It is a tremendous load on your shoulders. Even while you chastise yourself, something flips a switch inside of you. “That’s it! I have blown it! It’s over with now. I may as well GO for it!” Guilt guilt guilt and more guilt.
You get an edge–an attitude–you open the freezer door. Reaching for the ice cream you dig out a larger second portion and heat up twice as much hot fudge as the first time. This time, you heap a generous portion of whipped cream all over it, smothering it as if trying to smother your own guilt. Sitting down to watch an afternoon TV show while you eat you mindlessly inhale the second portion of ice cream. You find yourself back in the kitchen taking a spoon to the hot fudge. You hear the kids coming, so you steal away to the bathroom, hot fudge container and spoon in hand where no one will see….
You find yourself in the bathroom and, devastated, you sentence yourself, “I will never break free. I have to stop eating foods that trigger me!”
New Thin Within participants often share incidents such as this one. They explain that chocolate, bread, pasta, etc., “triggers” a response that keeps them stuck eating for the rest of the day once they have indulged in something not formerly on their “allowed foods” lists.
But I wonder…is it the actual food that does the triggering? Or could it, perhaps, be the thought that you are eating something that you are not supposed to be eating? Perhaps it is important to renew your mind about food before you eat it. If you haven’t informed your conscience and renewed your mind about the food, then no matter how permissible the food may be from God’s perspective, it isn’t from yours.Romans 14:23 says you may be condemned because you are defying your conscience. Maybe you need to inform your conscience.
But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat,
because their eating is not from faith;
and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
Romans 14:23
So let’s inform your conscience just a bit together. Reason with me for just a moment.
Let’s say that you have a choice to eat either a salad with low-fat dressing or a half sandwich with chicken, cheese, and veggies.
There is no doubt that the salad has less calories than the half sandwich.
You feel compelled that choosing the lower calorie option is the better choice, even though you are learning how to eat the Thin Within way.
Consider for a moment, though: What are calories? They are fuel. So the salad offers less fuel than the half sandwich. What this basically means is that while you may be taking in fewer calories in the salad, you will run out of fuel sooner…and get hungry sooner, when you will then have to make another choice about what to eat when hungry or choose to deprive yourself when you are hungry. The person who eats the half sandwich may be choosing the option that is higher in calories…which simply means it has more fuel to offer. The way our bodies run, that just means that she won’t need more fuel quite so soon if she is eating according to physical hunger and satisfaction. She won’t be signaled that she is hungry quite as soon.
You see, there really is no benefit to eating the item that is less calorie dense when you follow the Thin Within approach.
When I was releasing 100 pounds using the Thin Within principles, I never ate a single salad (I don’t like vegetables). Instead, I ate pizza, desserts, french fries (from McDonalds…I know, this is appalling to many :-)!), etc. I honestly lost all my weight eating this way. When I tell people that, they often say “You must have exercised a lot.” Not while I was still releasing the weight I didn’t. I didn’t do much exercising in addition to normal life (with kids, horses and dogs) until much later, after I had released the weight.
But because I ate these foods according to physical hunger and satisfaction, it meant that I ate small portions and these foods, because they are calorie–FUEL–rich, sustained me. I didn’t need to eat very frequently or very large portions at all.
Some might feel that by eating those foods that are so high in salt and fat that my cholesterol would go flying off the charts. Consider with me again: When we are concerned about these things, it isn’t the thing (like fat) itself that causes these problems in our bodies. Just like it isn’t sugar itself. It is the quantity. When you eat the small amounts of ANY of the foods that you desire, you will not end up with high cholesterol or diabetes (at least it isn’t likely) or any of the other health problems that so many of us relate to eating “too much of the wrong thing.” Portions served in restaurants are HUGE. You can enjoy a bit of any food on the planet and discover that it doesn’t take much to satisfy you AND it will not cause your blood pressure to spike, cholesterol to go up or your arteries to clog.
Back to our triggering example that we began with: I believe that the reason many of us are “triggered” as we try to break free from dieting is because we haven’t informed our conscience about all of these things. We haven’t explained to our brains the truth about food.
The Truth is: No food is more righteous than any other.
Sure, it is best to have a variety of foods with a variety of nutrients–something Thin Within calls “beneficial foods,” but having steamed broccoli instead of chips and salsa doesn’t make someone a better person, a godlier Christian, or a skinnier person either. The key is why we what we eat, when we eat what we eat, and how much we eat. In the past, we were told “You are what you eat.” That simply isn’t true.
My husband and I go out to breakfast every so often at McDonalds. I get the sausage biscuit. He gets the yogurt and fruit parfait. The sausage biscuit sustains me for four hours–even when I play two hours of tennis. The yogurt holds Bob about two hours, as he sits at a desk at work. Which choice is better? 🙂 (Gosh, I am spoiled, aren’t I?)
Do you see what I mean?
So inform your conscience about food. See if doing so doesn’t eliminate any “triggering” behavior. I really believe it isn’t the food at all. It is the false guilt that kicks in when we think we have “blown it” and want to quit.
When you inform your conscience that you can enjoy the hot fudge sundae with freedom between the godly boundaries of physical hunger and satisfaction, I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that you won’t go binge crazy and gobble down another hefty bowl of ice cream *or* find yourself hiding out in the bathroom with the hot fudge and a spoon.
What do you think? Do you need to inform your conscience about food and give yourself a chance to truly enjoy the freedom you have? What might that look like for you? Can you create a list of true statements about food and use it to renew your mind about food?
You have courageously and energetically run errands all day.
The day has been productive! You are pleased with all that you accomplished.
Now, you are headed for home, returning as the “conquering hero” having defeated the “To Do” list that loomed larger than life at dawn’s first light.
Negotiating the curb into the driveway, before you get to the front door, the scent of chocolate chip cookies wafts across the air, superseding even the floral scent of the gardenias. Instantly, your mouth is flooded with liquid anticipation!
Stepping inside, you survey the kitchen. Eyes scan the counter-top. Evidence indicates that your teen-aged daughter has dealt with her after school snack needs by making chocolate chip cookies which are still warm on the cookie sheet. Only one cookie is missing…your daughter’s modest “snack” which, you quickly muse, “She never learned that from me!”
Yummy food! Yours for the taking!
What happens next?
If this happened to you, what really wouldhappen next?
We could have a plan in place for our victory! I would love to see in the comments below what plan, what action steps, might enable you to emerge from this altercation the victor!
Of course, this could become one of those “Yummy Food Eating” or “Good Food Eating” moments that we studied in Barb Raveling’s bible study. It is also what we might consider “Head Hunger.” The food is there, the moment is ripe, we want it. (I can almost hear Gollum from Lord of the Rings rasping his “The Preccccciousssss….we wants it we does…”)
There isn’t really anything necessarily deeper operating. No feeling of “I deserve this!” or “I am angry at my husband for the comment he made about my hips. I’ll show HIM!” 🙂 This time, there isn’t any “poor me” thoughts. No, we didn’t have a terrible day, we don’t feel sad, frustrated or have any other obvious emotion. We just see the food and want it. In fact, chocolate chip cookies weren’t on our minds until we smelled them.
What is true at moments like this:
1.) We don’t have to eat every good thing that we stumble upon.
2.) If I am not physically hungry food–no matter how good it may be–won’t taste nearly as good as it will if I wait until I am physically (stomach empty) hungry to eat it!
3.) The chocolate chip cookies (or whatever food it is) are not going to disappear from the planet. This isn’t my last opportunity ever to enjoy chocolate chip cookies (or other tasty morsel of choice).
4.) Right now may seem like an opportune moment to violate my boundaries, but what will be my standard for upholding them? Will I ever feel like upholding my boundaries? If I wait until I never am tempted to break them to maintain them, what might happen? How will I feel and what impact will it have on my physical, emotional, and spiritual health?
Head hunger can come out of nowhere, so it helps to have a plan of action in place ahead of time. Remember these truths:
Giving in to desire eating (a response to head hunger) will not further me down the path of godliness and it will not work the changes inside and out that I desire.
Giving in to desire eating will not train me for the next time I am tempted. In fact, now is a great time to learn to say no to my flesh. If I keep saying yes to my desires, they will rule me.
If I say no to desire eating, I will be able to rejoice in my obedience and know I did what was best for myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
If I can find the strength in this moment to say no to temptation, the intensity of the temptation will subside.
I can act NOW while the willingness to be obedient to God is strong and either on my own or with the help from a family member (or friend, depending on the situation) remove the temptation. (At Halloween, this may mean flushing the candy down the toilet! With these chocolate chip cookies, it may mean sticking them in a freezer bag and putting them in the freezer).
What else is true when you say no to your flesh and yes to God by not eating in response to desire (when stomach hunger isn’t present)?
{Note: If you are someone who has a history of not eating enough to sustain your body’s needs, the authors of Healthy Eating Abundant Living encourage you to allow Head Hunger to get you on track again. I would suggest praying and asking God to give you the strength to eat when you need it and the food sounds appealing. Anyone with a history of overeating, you may be prone to want to see yourself in this category. Ask the Lord to show you if this does, indeed fit.]
This week we have had the opportunity to look at the freedom we are invited to experience in setting aside dieting rules, dieting laws, dieting “Good Foods” and “Bad Foods” lists and dare to trust the God who created our bodies fearfully and wonderfully.
Is Psalm 139 beginning to take root in your heart? Do you believe you are fearfully and wonderfully made?
In the material we studied this week, what resonated for you? If you aren’t doing the book or your book hasn’t arrived yet, share what rang true for you or was impressed upon you here at the blog or in the comments. So much wonderful discussion has been going on! I would love to hear from you about it!
Have you been a “die hard” dieter in the past?
Are your dieting thoughts affecting you even now as you try to set them aside?
Do you have an accountability partner yet? If you go to the Accountability page here at the website, post your information and if you see someone you might like to connect with in email, please send me an email. Please don’t post to me in the comments on that page, as I probably won’t see it in a timely manner. Shoot me an email instead.
Turn to page 36 and have a look at the HEAL pyramid. You will refer to that during this video. If you don’t have the book, I think you will be able to visualize the pyramid just fine as I describe it. You will want to have your book or a journal to write down responses to the questions as we go through.
FOUNDATION – Relationship with God. When you get to the spot in the video, turn off the video, pray, then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for this level of the HEAL pyramid. What goal will you have for your relationship with God? We would love to hear in the comments, too. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Second Level – Relationship with FOOD. Again, when you get to the spot in the video, stop, pray, and then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for your relationship with food. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Third Level – Hunger/Fullness Eating. In the video, I indicate when to stop. Then pray and jot down what God wants for you in this area of your life. What action steps (or perhaps secondary boundaries) will enable you to achieve this goal?
Tip top level – Beneficial Food Choices. I urge you to approach this category with caution. If you have a history of obsession with dieting, it may not be time for you to establish a goal for this area. You want to learn to trust the Lord that you can eat anything between the parameters of 0 and 5 or hunger and satisfaction.
I hope that you have experienced God’s personal leading as you have established your goals in each of the areas of the HEAL pyramid. Please feel free to allow God to lead you to adjust these as we continue.
I would love to hear what your goals are! Let us know in the comments which area of the HEAL pyramid and what your goal is. If you like, share your action steps, too. In fact, you could use this for your accountability with your partner, too, if you like.
