by Barb Shelton | Jul 15, 2017 | Blog
If I were to ask your family members whether or not they can tell if you’re having a hard time, what might they tell me? Don’t worry! I won’t be doing that! But I know that in the years when my kids were home (we’re empty nesters now), they could definitely tell. My mood slid down a slippery slope into a dark and troubled pit when I was upset about something, ticked at them, on “Day 27” of my cycle, or when I was low on food. Just to name a few!
It’s totally understandable that, when we don’t feel good, we struggle with our emotions. But some of us don’t even struggle when we feel lousy; we just have a pre-set, given, “default” response of giving in to it, and allow ourselves to descend into a hissy-fit of a grumpy mood.
HOW DOES YOUR HOUSE SMELL?
“Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” (John 12:3)
This last part of the passage ~ “the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume” ~ made me think of the tone of our home when we’re getting hungry. I’ve heard it called getting “hangry” ~ which is “hungry and angry” at the same time. Perfect term for it.
And when we are in that zone, everyone in the house is only too aware of it. We let our cutting, negative, unkind, careless and uncaring words and tones spew onto whomever is in our vicinity.
We may not even need to do any rationalizing of our foul attitude as it has become a normal way of life for us. So there isn’t even any conscious dealing with it when we feel this way.
Would you agree that such grumpiness fills the house with the stinky odor of said hangry person’s crankiness? In case you’re unaware, it truly ruins the peaceful feel of “home.”
It results in people retreating to their own rooms, to the TV, books, computers, or games to escape. Those pastimes are all okay (unless they become an addiction and become the love of one’s life), but it’s not okay when they’re a regular means of escaping fellow house-dwellers.
LAYING DOWN MY RIGHTS
For some odd reason, we seem to think we have a right to be hangry. After all, we are giving up something very dear to us… and we do give so much to our families and people in our lives… and we do work so hard at work and/or at home… and we do feel so crummy… I’m not getting to stuff my face and delight my tastebuds every moment of the day, so why wouldn’t I feel crummy, angry, frustrated, edgy, and irritated?
Did you know that feeling grumpy and acting grumpy don’t have to go hand-in-hand? Sure, I can feel grumpy; there is NO sin in that! But don’t have to act grumpy.
“Be (h)angry, but sin not.” (Ephesians 4:26)
The two ~ being (h)angry and sinning ~ are clearly separate here. We are told that we can “be (h)angry,” but then immediately told: “but do not sin.” And if God tells us to do something, we can be sure He will give us the grace to obey.
If my house (or office, or car) is to be “filled with the fragrance of the perfume,” then I simply don’t get to give in to acting grumpy or hangry. It’s not my God-given right to do it, and I would guess that more kids have been turned off to God by this than any overt, anti-Christian draws. Maybe not, but I wouldn’t be surprised. This sin habit of ours at least created some cracks in our kids’ foundations as they observed and experienced anything but the love and grace of Christ at work in our lives, in a real way.
WHAT TO DO IF THIS IS YOU?
- ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SIN: Start by coming into agreement with God and acknowledging that acting out your grumpiness is sin. It’s anything but cute, and it’s not okay. No more allowing it, justifying it, or ignoring it. (And then getting mad at the kids for being grumpy! A bit hypocritical?) No need to argue with Him about this. Sin is sin; there’s no excuse for it. Reasons, yes, but not excuses that make it okay. God knows your challenges and how hard it is to be nice when you feel grumpy. So just come into agreement with Him on this. And then…
- REPENT: Repent and ask God for forgiveness. Don’t waste any time wallowing in the shame and embarrassment, or whatever you’re feeling as you have come to realize the truth about yourself. Just bring it to the Lord, confess it, and receive His forgiveness and grace. This is what He died on the cross for. He’s not asking ~ or wanting ~ you to waste a moment of time beating yourself up over this. And when you do, you are actually in a state of not receiving grace; you’re too busy having a pity party! Forgo that, and just position yourself under the cleansing waterfall (warm!) of His grace and mercy, and let Him wash away your sin. And then…
- ASK GOD TO SANCTIFY YOU: It’s one thing to repent ~ and certainly a good thing ~ but that just opens the door to the process of actually starting to change and get that area of our life sanctified and redeemed. (See my article at Honeycomb Oasis entitled “How Does God Redeem Stuff?” for more on this process.) Thankfully, God is bigger than our sin and ready to help us in our time of need. And this would certainly qualify as a “time of need.” (Just ask your family if they agree!) Allow God to help you crucify your unruly flesh to the cross, and give you grace to be pleasant, despite how you feel ~ or what you desire but aren’t getting ~ at the moment. Better yet, we need to ask and allow Him to actually transform our hearts and minds so that we will be less likely to need grace, because our flesh, having been transformed into the image of Christ, is less and less likely to even go there. Here are a couple of my favorite verses. Note the underlined parts:
“The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the privilege of meditating in His Temple, living in His presence every day of my life, delighting in His incomparable perfections and glory. THERE I’LL BE WHEN TROUBLES COME. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock.” (Psalms 27: 4 & 5)
“But we Christians have no veils over our faces; we can be like mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And, as the Spirit of God works within us, we become more and more like Him.” (II Corinthians 3:18)
By the mind-and-heart-transforming power of God that activates as we renew our minds, we really can get washed from and set free of this sin, and be softer and kinder to those we live with and work with, even when ~ especially when ~ we don’t feel like it.
I’LL CLOSE WITH THIS STORY
Many years ago there was a special speaker at church, a man who operated in the prophetic. And the “words” he gave people were spot-on.
He had been to our church several times over the years, and do you think I ever “got a word” from him? Nope! Never.
I knew God could ~ and did ~ speak to me anyway, so I didn’t feel abandoned by God (or him), but, still, I always hoped to “get a word” from him.
Well, at the very end of one service, he asked “Is there anyone who didn’t get a word who would like one?” I shot up my hand, and he had me stand up, and asked my name. I said “Barb.” He waited a moment, and then said “The Lord wants to remove the ‘barbs’ from your personality, and make you softer and more approachable.”
:::GROOOOOAN!!!!:::
That wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to hear! I wanted a nice affirming word, not something so convicting! I wasn’t humiliated; just humbled, and needfully so.
Well, that word was given when I had kids at home and was operating in a lot of “flesh” when hangry, angry, cranky and/or grumpy. And the Lord used that piercing word in the process of me allowing Him to get that area of my life sanctified.
I want everything about my life to bring joy to God’s heart. And that is what I want on the forefront of my mind when I’m feeling cranky due to my emptying stomach and wayward heart calling (yelling) out to me to EEEEAT FOOOOOD prematurely. I want to die to my flesh at that moment, and let Jesus’ nature be what others experience.
“When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.” (Matthew 26:12)
Pouring my rights, my desires and my emotional and physical discomfort before the Lord is part of dying to myself. Even if your name isn’t Barb, do you nonetheless have any “barbs” to allow God to deal with? I want the old me buried at the foot of the cross so that His sweet new life can spring forth.
This article started out as a section of my article, The P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone. But I had more I wanted to say, and, since that article was already very long, I pulled it out of the P.E.R.F.U.M.E. article and brought it here to its new home, where it could be expanded upon freely! Doubled, to be exact!
by Barb Shelton | Jun 20, 2017 | Blog
I was watering our garden one day, trying to figure out how much is the right amount of water for my plants, and the right amount of time to water. I’m not exactly famous for having the most lush gardens or plants in my home; I tend to either over-water or under-water, and neither approach results in happy, thriving plants.
I noticed there were places where the soil got completely moistened with the water I gave it.
In other places it looked only barely moist.
And there were still other places where I had watered not long before, yet that were completely dry.
I realized that there were several things affecting my garden hydration efforts…
AMOUNT OF SUN
Of course, the amount of sun the area had beating down onto it played a big part in how dry it was, and how quickly it would become dry again.
In most analogies, I like to equate the sun with God and his warm grace, but this analogy is different…
Here I liken the beating-down sun to the “hard stuff” in my life. Things that are just rotten, awful, hard, painful, not going away, and that I have no power to change. They just keep beating down on me – and drying me out – like the hot sun in a parched desert.
It isn’t necessarily our “fault” if we have a lot of “hard sun” beating down on our life. It can be, if we’ve done wrong things that opened ourselves up to it. But there is much forgiveness for anything we have done wrong, and then we have a God who wants to walk with us through the consequences; not just put us through them as punishment.
But “the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike,” so many things that happen are not because of our sin or faults, but only because this is Planet Earth, where hard stuff happens. We are not in Heaven yet. That’s the next chapter. (And there are days I look more forward to getting there than others!)
TYPE OF CONTAINER
Then there’s also the matter of the type of container or pot – or lack thereof – that a plant is in. A non-porous pot – metal or painted – does not allow nearly as much water to evaporate out through its walls as does a porous earthenware pot.
In fact, I’ve learned to not even put plants into smaller plain (as in unpainted) earthenware – “terra cotta” – pots as they dry out very quickly, and most of my plants die quickly in them.
At this point in my life, I am like a very porous earthenware pot. This whole thing of needing to die to my flesh in the area of food and eating is draining, in every sense of the word.
It involves allowing God to remove ~ as in peel off one layer at a time ~ my yucky “graveclothes” and reveal the stuff in me that either is dead, dying, or that needs to die.
I have to remember that this isn’t to annihilate me – though it feels like it sometimes in the midst of a painful process – but only to get me the end result of being healed and made whole and new. But it makes me “leaky” (including my eyes) and feeling very vulnerable. And greatly in need of a lot of God’s softening, moistening, refreshing and healing water.
Lesson from the pot type element: I need to allow the Holy Spirit to “seal” me in with His presence so that the watering of the Lord doesn’t just evaporate out!
PROXIMITY OF PLANTS TO EACH OTHER
I also noticed that the proximity of a plant to other plants made a difference in how soon the area would need to be watered again. I noticed that I was much less likely to see dry soil around plants that were close to other plants. The water seemed to soak through the whole area, probably through the common root system. And maybe just the interactive ambiance between them! Plus the shade the close-together plants created kept water from evaporating.
It doesn’t take too much imagination to translate this part of the analogy! Read any article on losing weight, or a testimony of someone who has lost – and kept off – weight, and they almost always include “accountability” in the list of tips.
We have also heard in Thin Within that our need for accountability is great. It took me a while before I finally started taking advantage of that here! Once I recommitted myself to doing this ~ to being in this kind of relationship – with you precious ladies here in the Thin Within community, I found it was absolutely priceless, and I now love it!
Being close to each other actually helps all of us retain our moisture and reduces the likelihood of “drying out on the vine”!
ENOUGH TIME
So how much time is “enough” time – especially with the Lord? It dawned on me, as I watered my garden, that I don’t need to focus on “putting in a certain amount of time” with the Lord, but that I need to give Him enough time to allow enough of His glorious healing and unlimited water to soak all the way down to my dry and needy roots; down to where my deepest need is.
“I pray…that out of his glorious, unlimited resources He will give you the mighty inner strengthening of his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love…” (Ephesians 3:14-17 TLB)
YES!!! This is what I desperately need! My roots need to “go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love”! The rest of this passage in Ephesians 3:14-19 (TLB) has even more life-giving water as it elaborates on what this “marvelous love” is like:
“…and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.“
Getting filled up by the Lord isn’t so that I can say “I spent such-and-such an amount of time with the Lord today,” (which my “to-do-ish” nature gravitates to!), but so that my roots, the very core of me, can have all the Living Water I need to be nourished, refreshed, and healed. Transformed ~ from the INSIDE OUT! Psalm 1 says:
“Blessed is the one … whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers.“
I have much on my proverbial plate in this season of my life, and am way too easily distracted to get to the things I want and need to do. I have too often simply – and sadly – not given my roots “enough” water, or my heart enough Jesus. It comes out in there being too little grace, too much negativity, and too easily feeling discouraged.
I am SO grateful for the various Thin Within communities! Each one that I have been a part of has been a sweet blessing, but a blessing that I have not “taken advantage of” nearly as often as I need to. Notice I didn’t say “as often as I should.” This is because there’s no “should”; only what I actually need.
I too easily allow other things to crowd in and take the place of spending the time I need to with the Lord. It’s also too easy to not connect with my sisters, especially when I’ve derailed and am not walking in the truth I know the Lord wants me to be. In other words ~ sinning and walking in disobedience. Like Adam and Eve, it’s much easier to hide. So, rather than being a part of the help we most desperately need, we drift apart from each other.
So, with me, will you re-state your desire to connect? Here is the two-fold intent that will keep us from drying out:
1) One is my commitment to give the Lord more time to go more deeply into me, down into the dry, crusty, dark places that are in need of His touch and His redeeming work.
2) And I’m also restating my commitment to come to my Thin Within community more often and to not only share nuggets of my journey with you precious ladies, but also to be showered with the refreshing “Living Water” that the ladies (and a few guys) here so lavishly share here out of their own walks with the Lord!
I am so thankful for the openness to so vulnerably share our journeys!
“And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.” (Isaiah 58:11)…
COME TO HIM
So how will we get watered? One last verse comes to mind:
“My heart has heard You say, ‘Come and talk with Me, oh my people.'”
…which I take to mean that He actually wants me to come and talk with Him even, if not especially, when I’m in a bad mood or a dark place, ashamed of my repeated failings, my sin, my battle with food addiction, my frustrations with myself, and the feelings of hopelessness that get a hold of me and try to drag me down into the pit of despair. I don’t need to clean myself up to come to Him; He wants to do that! I just need to let Him!
So, even when I’d rather hide,
“by the mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord at work within me,” I will instead say: “…and my heart responds ‘LORD, (and you sisters here in the Thin Within community!), I AM COMING!’“
Does this post look familiar? That’s cuz it first appeared here on the Thin Within blog over a year ago, on May 9, 2016 under Deanna Burris’ name! I (Barb) was not officially blogging for Thin Within at the time, so Deanna posted it for me. However, I have since come on board TW’s blog team and wanted to both revise it and also to get it under my name for reference purposes. Hope this clears up any confusion. 🙂 I am happy to say that, in this last year, I have followed my own “two-fold intent” and am no longer dealing with “drying out on the vine”!
by Barb Shelton | Jun 1, 2017 | Blog
Have you ever dreamed that you were flying ~ like literally flying?!? I have, and ooooooooh my, it was exhilarating!!! With my arms stretched out front-and-side, in a mostly prone position, legs trailing weightlessly behind me, I flew a few feet above endless green rolling hills, with nothing carrying or pulling me! Just free-floating me, gently gliding over the rolling hills, soft breeze in my face! It was a most amaaaaazingly delightful experience!!!!!
One obviously can’t take pictures of one’s dreams, but I found this photo (above) on Pixabay that’s very similar to what I saw in my dreams. This is one thing ~ of many! ~ activities that I’m looking forward to in Heaven!
This has to be connected to my love of flying in a jet, which we did this last spring. Even though it’s not even close to being the same kind of flying experience as what I did in my dreams, it’s still a blast to take off (my fav!), and lift up off the ground…
Then rise up through the clouds…
(Dave and I take turns getting the window seat each trip we go on; if I really want to score points with him, I let him have it even if it’s my turn.)
And finally, we’re soaring above a soft carpet of clouds, looking down on them!
So it should be no surprise that Isaiah 40:31 is one of my favorite verses:
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall rise up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
Because we are still encumbered by our human bodies, flying on our own physically is impossible. Man has tried, but never succeeded. We’ll just have to wait for Heaven to enjoy that!
Likewise, because we’re still encumbered by our “carnal nature,” rising up into the spiritual skies is not easy; impossible on our own strength.
But not like the physical, we actually have access in the spirit realm to the ability to “rise up with wings like eagles.” So what actually holds us down?
I’ve come to realize that there are two major reasons for why I have a hard time “rising up” and and why I “faint” and “grow weary.”
1) CARRYING UNNECESSARY BURDENS
Many years ago when I was at my ideal weight and out on my walk, I got to the crest of a hill and suddenly realized that I had not even been straining to get there, nor that I was even going uphill! In fact, I looked back to make sure I had been!
(actual crest of actual hill on my actual walk)
That’s how easy it was to walk with the right amount of weight on my body, and with my muscles in shape from walking and exercising regularly.
Because of my optimal state of health at the time, carrying the weight that was on me did not feel burdensome.
Now, with this extra weight I’m currently carrying, walking is soooooo muuuuch harder!!! Uuuuuuugh!!! It’s a continual strain to carry these extra 60 pounds on my overburdened, under-worked-out frame. Getting to the crest of that very same hill today is only with huffing and puffing.
But my physical body is not the only place I carry extra weight; my tendency throughout my life has been to carry my daily life burdens and not even think to hand them over to the Lord ~ well, until they get so obvious and painful that I finally realize I don’t have to keep carrying all this!
I have to admit that sometimes I’m carrying them because I don’t want to surrender something. So burdens of all varieties ~ emotional, mental, and spiritual ~ pile up. It’s no wonder that, with all the extra hard-stuff-of-life-type burdens on my heart, I find it difficult to rise up and fly as Isaiah 40: 31 says those who wait on the Lord will do!
2) NOT YOKING UP WITH THE LORD
It usually just suddenly dawns on me that the Lord wants and is waiting to help me figure out what to do about all the stuff that I have allowed to pile up.
Then I remember His invitation:
Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28-30)
God never intended His loved ones to carry or deal with this hard stuff by ourselves! He wants us to yoke up with Him and allow Him to carry the weight of the burden. We still have to go through the situation itself, but He carries the weight ~ or heaviness ~ of it for us.
So, I sit down with Him, often in my favorite chair or on my bed, and allow one burden ~ one pain, frustration, difficult thing ~ at a time come to the surface of my mind. Which isn’t hard; they’re all clamoring for attention!
Once one burden has surfaced, along with the pain and/or frustration, or whatever it churns up, I then let the Lord help me process it. I ask Him to either:
a) show me how to deal with it, or…
b) help me hand it over and release it to Him. And to show me which is which.
After unburdening myself of each extra emotional, mental, or spiritual piece of baggage, I just wait… letting His presence sink deep into my spirit and my raw emotions. Even though some or even all of the situation itself is still there, I feel so much lighter and freer because I am now relating to it differently!
By the mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord at work within me…
I am now rising above it. It’s no longer dragging me down into the quicksand of depression and hopelessness!
This isn’t usually a quick process; it takes time ~ at least a few minutes, longer if you have more to deal with ~ to thoroughly process this with the Lord. But if you’re busy mothering, working, driving, or whatever, and can’t take more than a few seconds, at least do a quick burden-release to the Lord. That’s certainly better than continuing to carry it! But do come back to it ~ to Him ~ when you can take some time to really process things with Him.
HELICOPTER RIDE
For reasons you can now understand, going on a helicopter ride has been on my Bucket List! On our recent trip, Dave arranged for us to go on one!
With the six of us passengers all buckled into our seats in the helicopter, the pilot turned on the engine and the blades atop the machine slowly started turning around. (See one of them below left.) After a minute or so, though, the pilot turned the engine off and told us that the blades were not starting up as quickly or strongly as he thought they should, so he wanted to have the mechanic check the engine to see if something was lugging it down. He told us: “I’d rather check this out now when we’re down on the ground than have problems when we’re up in the air!” We all fully agreed!
The delay gave me some extra time to get a few pictures… Left: the helicopter blade in question. Right: Dave and I with our headphones on, waiting to take off.
After some checking, it was decided that the engine was good to go, and we were off ~ and up ~ on our ride!
Here we’re soaring ~ errrr, uuuuh ~ coptering(?) over Las Vegas! (And, by the way, there are plenty of “good clean fun” things to do there!)
The aforementioned headphones were not to merely muffle the loud sound of the helicopter! We were able to hear the pilot’s voice through them, telling us all sorts of interesting things about the sights we were seeing! This is a great analogy of how the Lord wants us to put on our “spiritual headphones” and let them muffle out the loud voices of the world so that we can more easily and clearly hear His voice!!!
As I thought back on the helicopter’s slow start, I got to pondering what was lugging me down in being unable to stay consistent in rising above temptation and get my disordered eating in order. This took me full-circle back to my tendency to carry extra burdens…
I found this photo (on Pixabay ~ an awesome free photo source!)…
… and had fun adding all of the various struggles I could think of to each of the bags!
Yep! That’s a pretty accurate picture of what I feel like some days! For those of us with disordered eating, these things can propel us toward food to find comfort, solutions, distraction, and avoidance of dealing with the problems head-on.
Here are all the above bag titles listed for you:
- Wrong understanding of God
- Wrong thinking about food
- Overwhelmed by life
- Frustrations with kids
- Hurt or betrayed by a friend
- Hard stuff going on at work
- Painful stuff going on in marriage
- Chronic illness
- No idea what to do with my future
- Broken-heartedness
- Can’t get myself to stay focused on what I need/want to
- Anger
- Depression
- More to do than I have time or energy for
- Money problems
Next I funneled all of those into the following six areas. I’ll address several of these in future blog posts, but for now, I’ll put an “antidote” resource after each to at least help you (me!) get thinking in a better direction. (If you’re in Thin Within, much of this will be review.)
1) Wrong thinking or understanding about eating and how it relates to God
“Intro to the Thin Within” message by Heidi Bylsma
2) Inadequate or inconsistent focus
“Truth Cards – Thin Within Support” video by Heidi Bylsma
3) Difficult situations that are beyond us to fix or change
“What Can God Redeem” blog post by Barb Shelton
4) Trying to “figure it out” or “do it all” on our own power
“Thin Within and Walking in the Spirit” video by Heidi Bylsma
5) Brokenness, broken heart, depression, or illness (not our choice)
“Does Healing Hurt?” blog post by Allison Mitchell
6) Anger and unforgiveness (our choice)
“What Place Anger?” blog post by Heidi Bylsma
Much more can be said about each of these, of course! Whole books are written about each one. If you have found something to be particularly helpful, feel free to share in the comments!
Healing and resolution in all of these areas involve renewing our heart and mind. And this is exactly what Thin Within is all about! I highly recommend getting connected in a group and becoming committed ~ to the group, and to getting this area dealt with once and for all!
AND IN CLOSING ~ ZIP-LINING!
This love of flying is why, upon first seeing the Zoom Zip-line in Vegas, I knew I wanted to DO IT!!! This ride starts out at 51 stories high, but the rider is completely secured in a cradle harness that encases the torso, with both legs secured in individual leg braces as well. You “fly” along a zipline that takes you 1/3 of a mile through the Fremont Street mall. This isn’t Dave and me, but it’s exactly what we looked like ~ with the sky a little darker ~ when we went about an hour later.
Here I am right before it was my turn to get attached to the cable and be launched through the big door, which the four flyers in the above photo had just launched out of!
Here I’m zooming along the zip-line, approaching the end (where the photographer awaits), having just thoroughly enjoyed the flight!
Now, to get to where, “by the mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord at work withing me,” the photo above becomes a picture of me being able to consistently rise up through ~ and not get stuck in ~ clouds of depression, hopelessness, or temptation, and actually soar above them with wings like eagles! ~ or even jets, helicopters, or ziplines!
by Karen Foster | Oct 4, 2016 | Blog
I dreamt of an elephant. He was held captive by a chain, secured around one leg, and attached to a tent peg. Did that elephant symbolize me? Struggling to walk in the freedom of Christ? Imagine then, when I read the TW Lesson on Forgiveness. The words I’d pondered popped off the page. But first, let me explain that image.
If a mighty elephant can push a tree down and pull heavy logs, why can’t he pull a small peg from the ground to free himself?
Answer: He can escape, but the elephant thinks he is powerless over that chain.
That’s because circus owners, and folks who use elephants as beasts of burden, chain a baby elephant by one leg to a metal pole. He may pull and tug all day, but instead of escaping, the chain cuts into his leg. The effort to free himself becomes pointless. And this mindset—helpless and avoiding physical pain—stays with the elephant so that even as a strong adult, he never attempts to do what he’s capable of doing. Only to say…
How have I been conditioned since childhood to respond in certain ways? Are there previous experiences and voices in my head that cause me to avoid pain or remain stuck? Is there un-forgiveness towards myself or others that keeps me from moving forward? Particularly when it comes to the physical body?
I remember hating my body as a young girl. I wanted to cover myself when I was forced to take a group shower every day during Junior High Girl’s P.E. How could I not compare my skinny body to the more-developed girls around me?
I remember seeing center-fold models in girly magazines when I was a child, and thinking, that’s how I’m supposed to look one day. Then realizing (later in life) that ideal, female figure was an elusive standard I’d never achieve; wondering if that made me any less sexy.
I remember a gal who was raped. She gained a huge amount of weight afterwards. Was she attempting to make herself less attractive to men?
I remember an intelligent, slim teenager who became anorexic because her boyfriend said she wasn’t “perfect enough” and chose someone else.
I remember a man numbing himself with alcohol because he was anxious and lonely.
When I remember these heartaches , I think about that elephant trapped by a chain that cannot hold him. And waits for his master to arrive with the key to release him.
For myself and any Christian who’s enrolled in TW, we’ve been learning about our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. He doesn’t want us chained or yoked to anyone or anything, but Him where there is rest and a more abundant life. But how many people…including myself…remain stuck instead of asking God to turn the master key?
What is this master key? Lesson Ten says, “It is God’s grace, which is extended to all God’s beloved through the power of the Holy Spirit at work within us. It is also His forgiveness, which was freely given on the cross at Calvary. It is through forgiveness that our temple is cleansed and the remaining rubble cleared away.”
And yet, that knowledge isn’t a magic pill. I’ve had to take action, and ask the Lord if there is anything in my upbringing and past that needs to be unearthed and then released in order to move forward and experience His peace and joy.
Do I need to forgive my own sin and imperfections? Forgive others who may have intentionally—or not—treated me poorly or trained me to view myself in a shameful way? Perhaps I need to talk to God about something He allowed in my life that I didn’t “feel” I deserved. Or an expectation He didn’t meet. Back in the day, I had to confess my anger towards God when I suffered from three miscarriages.
The power of the Holy Spirit enables us to leave the past behind and walk forward in faith, by God’s grace. However, if I….
- Refuse to believe I’m forgiven and free in Christ,
- Think it’s impossible (or refuse) to forgive those who have wronged me,
- Turn to food to escape the past instead of Christ,
Then I’ll live my life hobbled like that seemingly helpless elephant chained to the tent peg.
And if that image saddens me, imagine how God feels when He sees His children stuck in one place when they could be romping like calves.
by Karen Foster | Aug 30, 2016 | Blog
“Why did you eat that? When will you ever learn? How can God love you?”
Those are some of the nagging, ugly voices in someone’s head who wrestles with Self-Condemnation. They’re stuck. Unable to let go of their mistakes and sin. Or they view themselves as an ongoing failure.
I’ve been there. Sick to my stomach with self-condemnation, and I wonder….
Did Eve live in condemnation because she listened to Satan instead of God, and ate the forbidden fruit?
- Did she justify her sin and continue to blame Satan?
- Feel bitter towards Adam who blamed her when God confronted him?
- Beat herself up whenever she thought of that fruit which was pleasing to the eye, but didn’t live up to Satan’s promise?
Or did Eve recognize God’s grace and praise His name? Aware that God could have struck her dead and taken another rib from Adam to create another, more perfect woman.
Instead, the Lord loved Eve and sought her while she was hiding in the garden. He listened to her explanation. Then—despite Eve’s guilt—God sacrificed an animal to provide skins to clothe her. And He promised that one day, her seed would bruise the head of Satan.
Did she gladly receive God’s grace and forgiveness…and forgive herself…even though she bore the harsh consequences of her actions?
I regret words and actions that happened decades ago. Shoot, I regret eating that bowl of popcorn last night. But there’s no place for loathing myself or living in self-condemnation. It’s also not good to overlook my wrong behavior with a flippant attitude that “nobody’s perfect.”
Even so, the enemy loves to wag his finger and lying tongue at us.
You’re a big, fat loser. Nobody loves you.
How many times will God forgive you?
You’ll never reach your weight goals.
The only way to stop the lies—and condemnation—is to take our every thought captive. Then squash negative thoughts and emotions with God’s Word as we rely on the Holy Spirit’s power to transform us.
Barb Ravling’s book, Renewing of the Mind Project, has been a great resource for me during this Thin Within Journey. Her book is filled with introspective questions to reveal what we think and believe about God, ourselves, and our circumstances. She also provides tips and ample scripture—God’s Truth—so we can gain victory over our negative emotions and debilitating habits.
- “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.”(Romans 8:1)
- “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:35)
- “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1John 1:9)
Condemnation is an insufferable place to live. So is bitterness, anger, worry, stress, and emotional eating. Barb Raveling says, “If we want to be victorious over our habits and emotions, we need to take time to renew our mind.”
After all, like Barb says, self-condemnation is “condemning someone God loves very much…YOU!”
