This is a stream of consciousness video…but maybe there is something here that can encourage you. Obviously, I have my work cut out for me this week! Do you? LOL!
Carelessly grazing as we walk through the kitchen, dipping into the candy dish on the office-mate’s desk, or sucking on mints just because they are there…these are little examples of Careless Eating. Careless eating is what often leads to that sudden panic… OH MY GOODNESS! I have been eating TOO much and I must GET SKINNY NOW!
All those moments when we said, “It’s just one bite” haunt us when we reach for a pair of pants hanging in our closet that we haven’t tried on in a couple of months. As we go to slip into them we wonder if our “just one bite(s)” will have cost us anything.
How does God feel about “just one bite?”
Is it possible that “Just one bite” is how we got in trouble in the first place? Either God has called us to the boundary of 0 and 5 or he hasn’t. If he has, does “just one bite” have a place?
How might those “just one bite” moments affect your appearance? Will this matter to you?
Monday
1. I haven’t asked you to do this in a while, so it is time. Are you committed to 0 to 5 eating? Do you believe it is from God for you? Why do you feel convinced in your heart that this is so? Write in your journal your thoughts about this and the statement “I know 0 to 5 eating is a boundary from God for my life” (or something similar). Date it and sign it if it will help. We want to recommit to this!
2. Visit Barb Raveling’s Careless Eating Study at her blog. Can you relate to her illustration about the alcoholic at all? Barb says: We can learn a lot from the life of an alcoholic. Although we can’t say not even one bite, we can say, not even one bite outside our boundaries.What do you think about that? Journal your feeling about that. What do you think of her statement, “The minute we think it’s just one bite, we are in danger.”
3. Do all the Bible Study questions that Barb has for us on that page, including looking up the bible verses. Journal what you discover.
4. Add any truths you have come up with to your Truth Cards.
5 Are you willing to take the challenge? TELL US! 🙂 Get an Accountability Partner. It isn’t too late!
2. Barb challenges us to incorporate the “Careless Eating Questions” into our lives so that when we are tempted to eat outside of our 0 and 5 boundaries we evaluate by using those questions. You can do these now, even if you aren’t experiencing temptation. I recommend going through these questions today and journaling your response.
3. Jot down any truths you have come up with for your Truth Cards.
4. Share with us here in the comments any thoughts that God has laid on your heart, truths you have added to your cards, or new insights (or old ones) that you got from the questions or the bible study.
Wednesday
1. Visit Barb Ravelings “Appearance Eating Bible Study”. How important is it to you to lose weight? Ask God to show you just how fixed your heart is on the physical results you want. What if you could have God in all his fullness and beauty, but not be the size/shape you want? What then? Would he be enough?
2. Can you relate at all to my confession in the video? How so?
3. To what source are you looking for your happiness?
4. Is there any living you are waiting to do until you look a certain way? What would God have you do…today?
Thursday
1. Visit Barb Raveling’s Appearance Eating Bible Studyagain. Complete Questions for your Journal numbers 1 through 5 and journal your answers.
2. Share here anything that God impresses upon your heart. What you share may encourage another person who visits and reads the comments–even if they don’t post. Consider it a ministry to others that you do in faith! (It ministers to ME! LOL!)
3. As you consider a person in your life that you feel requires you to be a different size or shape, it might be helpful to do some forgiveness work. When I do forgiveness work, it includes “telling on them to God.” Think of being a colossal tattle tale…you are God’s precious little child running to him to tattle on whoever it is. Pour it all out. What did they do to you? How do you feel about it? Tell your Heavenly Abba (Daddy) and then leave it with him. Ask him to help you to forgive…to choose to trust it all to His care.
Friday
1. Visit Barb Raveling’s Appearance Eating Bible Study yet one more time. 🙂 Complete questions 6 through 10 and journal your responses as time allows.
2. What truths can you add to your truth cards…or, if you aren’t yet creating a deck of truth cards, what truths is God speaking over you?
3. Share with us here how you feel God leading you to approach your desire for weight loss (Barb’s question 10).
4. If you haven’t done so as a part of any of the other questions in today’s assignment, you may want to reaffirm your confidence that God is calling you to 0 to 5 as your primary boundary. What are the secondary boundaries he is calling you to? Write these down to affirm them and date it.
This journey is filled with a variety of challenges. Some take us by surprise. Some are of our own doing. Some…both!
On Monday, I asked you to celebrate victories that God is doing by posting here to share with us. Could it be that you feel like that request may be terrific for someone else, but you feel like you haven’t seen any victories? Or maybe you feel like the setbacks have been so HUGE that they eclipse any sense that you might have had of forward progress?
If you feel stuck…like you can’t seem to string together several consecutive baby steps…I believe that you may be stumbling over a root. On a jungle trek, without warning, a root can change the nature of the excursion if it is stumbled over. Tripping over a hidden root causes pain, suffering and a need for rest, ice, and ibuprofen! Right there in the middle of somewhere. Forward progress just can’t happen until it is dealt with.
The root that I wonder about for me and for you is…well…bitterness.
Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness
grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
– Hebrews 12:15 NLT
I think we trip over this root a lot on our Thin Within journey. Then, we sit down and grind it up and make it into a tea and drink it!
It’s POISONOUS! If there is any chance that this is going on in our lives, we want to deal with it.
I know that forgiveness is a common teaching. We are taught in church and many secular programs that we need to receive forgiveness from God, from others, and extend it to others as well. That’s great.
But the root of bitterness that I am speaking of is one that I don’t see mentioned often. Yet I believe it exists for many of us. No, maybe “good little bible study girls” (and boys) aren’t supposed to feel this way. But to be honest, we do. I know from first hand experience that it can cause us not to be able to make the progress we could. Until we remove it, we may be stuck. Or we may feel like we keep bumping up against a dead end.
This isn’t your typical root of bitterness, though. It’s the root of bitterness toward …
(I am a bit nervous about saying this so boldly… you may think I am one of those reckless arm-chair theologians or, worse…you may feel I am some sort of heretic.)
It’s the root of bitterness we have toward… God.
Yes, you read right.
Many of us, many times, have bitterness that we harbor toward the Lord of the Universe.
Many of us feel like God has done us wrong.
No wait…before you blow me off as being off my nut :-), consider this!
We know in our heads that God does not actually DO any wrong, but we struggle with what He has assigned to us, at times. We feel like He has expected just too much of us. Maybe He gave us parents that were abusive, a husband that abandoned the faith (or that claimed to be a Christian and never was), a child who died of cancer, or no husband, wife, or child at all when that is what we have longed for so desperately. Maybe He gave us a boss who belittles us or a sister who grabbed the inheritance and ran, just as the bills were coming due. Whatever it may be…is there any way that you feel like God has asked just too much of you?
Or, are you all good with it? “God is God and I am not, so whatever he assigns me in life is fine.” Can you say those words? If I am truthful, right now I can’t.
Why am I referring to this as a root of bitterness that may trip you up on your Thin Within journey?
Well, because if there is some way that you feel God has “done you wrong,” then trusting Him with your food and your body might be just too much of a stretch. You may resent Him too much to give this over to Him to guide you and direct you.
If you know my testimony, you know that I first became aware of 0 to 5 eating in 1999 and began writing Thin Within material in 2000. I worked closely with the Hallidays in generating the Thin Within book manuscript in 2001/2002. Yet, it wasn’t until 2006 that everything that I knew and wrote about “clicked.” Prior to that, I would release some weight and then grab a hold of it again. 2 steps forward and 2 back. It didn’t feel like there was any forward progress.
The catalyst for the change that occurred in 2006, was God showing me that I was angry … at Him. I resented Him for what He had assigned to me. You see, I had dealt with the horrible upbringing I had, the sexual abuse, physical abuse and so on and so on–I had forgiven a boatload of people and released them to God’s hand, but it seemed plain IMPOSSIBLE that God would assign to me, a woman who had never seen decent parenting in action in my own life when I was a child, the responsibility of being a mom to a special needs child. When Daniel was born in 1992, within six weeks, I knew in my spirit that God had assigned me the challenging role of parenting a child on the autism spectrum.
I have a VERY different view of this now than I did back then, but back then, I figured being a parent at ALL would be hard enough. I lived in fear that I would abuse my own children just as my parents had me and their parents had them…I feared that I would just be one more generation of abuser in my family. I am so very grateful to my husband for his tender love, care, and demonstration of a different way to parent than the one that I knew. He and my precious mother-in-law made a difference that has transformed our family tree–I believe that.
But it didn’t mean that parenting a child on the autism spectrum was easy. It wasn’t. In 2006, 100 pounds overweight and fearful of dying from a stroke or heart attach, I decided it was time to really deal with my overeating, I lamented “What is WRONG with me that I can’t give You my eating, God?!?” He plainly impressed upon my heart, “You don’t trust Me. You resent Me for Daniel.” OUCH.
I didn’t want to submit to the Lord because I held this against Him. I felt that God had done me wrong even though I knew that God does no wrong. It just simply seemed like far too much to expect of me. It was a root of bitterness that I was tripping over again and again.
God and I began to deal with this a bit at a time. It wasn’t easy, but I began to develop a tender heart for God and whatever he ordained in my life–including being the mother of an autistic son. It didn’t seem fair to Daniel and that was hard for me, too, but through the nudging of the Holy Spirit and a conversation with a wonderful woman in my church who had dealt with being the mom of a special needs child so beautifully (about Daniel’s age, too), my heart began to soften.
He used two songs to really nudge me to a place of releasing my hold on MY will, MY way. One, Steven Curtis Chapman’s God is God, and the other Draw Me Close by Kutless. It didn’t happen all at once, but over time. I did, however, need to come to a point of decision. “God, You are God and I am NOT.”
Can you relate? Is there something down deep inside of you that you resent God for appointing to you or, if you don’t like that way of thinking of it, that He has “allowed?”
I believe that this can trip you again and again on your life’s journey–not just with Thin Within and applying the principles to break free from obsession with food, eating, and weight, but even more generally.
If this resonates for you, I urge you to sit down with God for a bit. Ask Him to help you to see with His eyes. Ask Him to give you His perspective on whatever it is He has seen fit to be a part of your life.
The truth is, what we see and experience on this planet is but a tiny “blip” on our eternal timeline. God takes the blip of time on this planet and uses it to create something that will be for glory for ETERNITY. It is hard to fathom because we are creatures who are SO linear and bound by time and space. But the reality is–this is NOT all there is. There is SO much more.
This is why the Scriptures tell us again and again to fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. And that our trials on this planet are accomplishing for us an eternal glory that far surpasses them all. And fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith who for the joy set before him endured the cross and scorned its shame. And set our minds on things above where Christ is seated. When Christ, who is our life appears, we will also appear with Him in glory.
These are just off the top of my head. There is so much more than what we see or think or feel on this planet.
But if we resent God for what he has ordained for us on this planet, we will miss so much of what He intends…the good stuff. The joy. Even in the pain.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
– Psalm 73:21-26 NIV
Is it possible that you have a root of bitterness toward God–something that you are tripping over–something that keeps you from trusting him with your eating? What will you do to begin to deal with it today?
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10
Imagine sitting with a friend. No distractions, just the two of you. You share with the friend how you are struggling with a trial and then ask the friend what you should do. The friend looks at you with love on his face and says: Peace, be still.
What?!? What on earth do you mean “Peace, be still”?!?!? How could I possibly“be still” when I should be DOING something about it all?
For the past three weeks, at various times, I have sat with my prayer journal open…an exercise that is dear to me. I pour out my heart to God on the page, writing my prayers (it helps me to stay focused). Sometimes, I am impressed with something to write down–something that seems to be from the heart of God for me. The theme over the past three weeks has been “Be still and know that I AM God.”
Again. Again. Again.
And…
…again.
Do you notice the presence of “I AM” in the middle of that verse? You may recall that God used the “I AM” to identify himself to Moses when Moses asked God His name. He responded with “Tell the Egyptians that I AM sent you to them.” There is something supremely sufficient in this designation for God and while Psalm 46:10 may not intentionally be the use of the “I AM” name, it nevertheless causes me to think of this.
It has occurred to me that no matter what the question, no matter what the ache, the emptiness that I feel, God’s name, “I Am” is the answer. God is the answer.
“Lord, what will be enough for me?”
I AM.
“Lord, who will be my Comforter for my heartache? Who grieves with me when I grieve?”
I AM.
“What will finally be the solution to my struggle with eating and my weight?”
I AM.
No matter what the challenge, struggle or question, our God says we can know him, I AM, as the sufficiency we need, the strength in our weakness.
But I only experience him as the answer when I still my mind and heart and body. I must Be Still and Know. He tells me to Be Still and Know I AM God… and there is something that will happen as I do that. Are you like me at all? My mind tends to spin and spiral and go wonky if left unchecked. That is when I may grab for food to “center” me. Isn’t that strange? Then, my mind spirals and spins even more…
STOP.
I must be still and know that he is God.
When I stop the spiraling thoughts, when I choose to STILL myself…and this means sitting out on the deck, in the bath, in a chair with a towel over my head–whatever it takes so that NOTHING has my attention but my GOD… I experience a fresh wind. I experience fresh forgiveness. Strength. Peace. Calm. I experience HIM. I am still and I know He is God. He is my portion. I magnify HIM instead of whatever it is that I am struggling with.
We aren’t wired to be still. We are wired to DO DO DO. But we want to obey what he commands and he commands us to be still and know that I am God.
When we still ourselves, we may be surprised. There is much more victory in what another translation of this verse says this way: “Cease striving.” Doesn’t that sound like a great idea? Let’s just cease striving.
When we stop our spinning, spiraling, running, and striving and just rest and know, ponder, dwell on HIS character, His awesomeness, I believe we get the clarity we need.
Stillness is a path to victory.
What can you do to foster stillness today…if not literal physical stillness, perhaps a quiet, still heart that ponders the awesomeness of God–even for a moment? Share with us here what happens for you. If you do this when you are tempted to eat, tell us the outcome!
Some of you have wondered if I do speaking to groups. Absolutely. I love sharing from God’s Word! Whether it is a Thin Within launch event or something broader…like a Praise and Gratitude event! I love it and would love to meet you!
Over the course of my adult life, I have enjoyed speaking with women’s groups and Thin Within groups as well.
Topics include The Grandeur of Gratitude, Freedom Found in Forgiveness, and Breaking Loose of Labels and Shame.
How about a Living Life on the Path of Praise weekend retreat? This is a four-message retreat weekend (but fewer messages can be managed, too!):
Message 1: Any woman can walk on the path of praise by embracing three gifts Christ has purchased for her. Christ gives us our: Value, Identity, and Purpose. The focus passage is 1 Peter 2:9, 10. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. We do a little hands-on activity with and interact with one another as we laugh together about the various “hats” we wear in life. It is a very encouraging message that focuses your group on “Identity Truths” God says he attributes to us. The goal is to focus the women on WHY we praise with our lives—in all the ins and outs of daily life—we were created and saved to praise! Message length: Approximately 35 min.
Message 2: Is called “Someday My Prince Will Come” and the focus is on WHO we praise. Video footage of Catherine Middleton and Prince William segue into the fact that her wedding would have looked so different had she married anyone else. How is what we are given affected by the One to whom we are betrothed–our great God and King? We look at our wonderful Lord and Savior and His promise that He is coming for his bride. God is transforming us to be his perfect bride. Practical tools are shared, including the God List and Praise-Fest. These are practical tools to use in quiet times and private worship that can lift us out of a pit of despair, keep us from temptation or lift our vision. We integrate worship as the women share what they learn in a moment of looking up some verses themselves…Depending on how much time the women spend sharing and how much music we use, this session can be the longest…about 45 minutes…or it can be extended with more singing and praise.
Message 3: Is “Staying on the Path of Praise–No Matter What” This message challenges us to evaluate: What will we magnify…the Lord? Or the dust mites of life? Psalm 34:3-5 is a pattern based on David’s experience: Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. We then spend the rest of our time in 2 Chronicles 20 and King Jeshoshaphat. This, too, is very encouraging and the tool I share with the women is called “Truth Journaling.” It is another practical tool that helps us allow the word of God to renew our minds. This answers the question “WHEN do we praise.” Message length: approximately 35 minutes.
Message 4: Is “Is there Life After Retreat?” or “Surviving Re-Entry” This extends an invitation to the women to come and rest in the Lord. It is a commissioning of sorts. How do we do these things once we are back in our “real lives.” Let’s consider that we aren’t leaving behind the retreat experience. Instead, we are going to a wonderful opportunity to continue to grow as we practically apply the truths we have studied during the weekend. Session length: About 25 minutes long.
I am more than happy to prayerfully work with you and your group to provide you with something that will meet your ministry needs. Just contact me to let me know!
I also offer guided worship experiences. This provides an interactive, opportunity for the women in your group to draw closer to the heart of God through prayer, scripture, and praise.
If you would like more information regarding booking me for a retreat or special event–or even your Thin Within meeting–please contact me at heidi bylsma at gmail dot com (no spaces). I would love to talk about it with you or your women’s ministry team members!
Additionally, I lead worship, too. Some of the best retreats or message times are when we combine both a message from God’s Word and praise our God through song. Here is a page that tells a bit about my worship leading.
Of course, you will want to know what I charge…well, that’s up to God. As long as you can get me there and feed me and put a roof over my head and a bed under my bod ;-), I would love to come, trusting God to provide in whatever way you are comfortable. Some groups have taken love offerings. Some groups have paid what God laid on their heart. I am with him on this ride and trust in His provision. If I can, I would love to do it!
How about you? Has God put a song on your heart (as he has mine) or a message that he wants YOU to share? What will you do to share it? 🙂
This week’s lesson was perfect for me personally this week. Instead of condemning myself for my mistakes (which I shared here at the blog yesterday), I have been able to press on and in closer to the Lord and receive his acceptance, love, forgiveness and encouragement. Thank you for your kind emails. I appreciate it very much!
You know, legalism lurks in the most innocuous of places in our lives. If we aren’t careful, we can be taken by surprise…and even taken hostage. This week in Lesson 5, we had a chance to evaluate this and expose the legalism wherever it was found. Grace is there–abundant and free–ready to wash over, in, and through us! Like a raft floating down a river, let’s rest and let the current of grace carry us along. This isn’t a “devil-may-care” attitude. We know that Titus 2 says “This same grace that brings salvation teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions…” But we also know that God has promised that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). We embrace the truth that God has demonstrated his love before we ever have done a single thing that could possibly have “earned” it. In fact, we could not earn it. Period.
In the video below, I share with you as if we were sitting in my living room (or a hotel room in Houston, Texas, as the case may be!).
There is an activity on the bottom of page 89 called “Walking on the Tightrope of Perfection.” I couldn’t actually do this with you for obvious reasons. 🙂 So I used video clips of young women I accessed on a service I subscribe to. When you get to the first one, I am sure you will see why I say doing this actually was so hard for me. In fact, it broke my heart. It was really hard for me to do this activity–even in this format! I can’t imagine how I would feel if we were together trying to do the activity as it is written. I hope that it somehow ministers to you–even with it’s “shock value.” :-/
What creating (and editing) this video did, though, was to help me to ask God to make me sensitive to where legalism exists in my life at all and where it is expressed to others. If someone–like my daughter, son, my husband–was on the tightrope (that you will see in this video), would the way I live be more congruent with saying those things? I hope not! I fear that the answer is yes.
And then I also wonder if I do that to myself as well. If I am the girl on the tightrope, do I shout at myself some of the awful things that I say on the video to the girl trying desperately to perform, to walk on the tightrope while balancing something on her head, using one foot to move a hubcap on the line, holding the pole around her shoulders–all without “messing up?” As you watch the video, you may evaluate if you do it to yourself as well!
Anyhow, if you watch the video below, please know during the tightrope section that I was VERY uncomfortable with that. Don’t hold it against me. It is a dramatization only!
Enough with the disclaimers! LOL! Before you begin the video, please read Psalm 139 out loud. Ask God to continue to help you to know the truths of the Psalm full well.
Please share in the comments section below:
From your study this week How does God want to lavish his grace upon you?
How have you lived under legalism rather than grace?
What does the verse 1 Corinthians 6:12 mean to you?: Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.
What did you think of the tightrope illustration/activity in the video? What have you learned? How can you apply what you have learned to your own life?
Do the journaling questions on page 90 and share the answers to any of them that you feel comfortable doing so. For those of you without the book, here is the activity–you can join us! Make a list of your favorite foods. Do you allow yourself to eat all of these foods? Without mentally counting up the calories? Why or why not? Which foods do you ever restrict yourself from having? Are any of these foods ever stumbling blocks for you? What does God’s grace seem to indicate?
I hope that evaluating your life, thinking, speaking for ways in which legalism might be present has been helpful for you. More, I hope you will join me in recommitting to being people of grace. Jesus paid the price of all sin on the cross. All shame for sin was paid for too. One benefit of that payment on our behalf is that we might continue, forever, in the grace of God as an ongoing pardon, provision, power, and presence (of God) in our lives!
