So often, when we have a look–a really good look–at what drives our overeating (or our gluttony to put it out there) it is the thought of “Life isn’t fair and it should be.”
When other people seem to eat whatever they want in the amounts they want, it really doesn’t seem “fair.” Does it? Have you ever felt that way?
When I struggle with my weight and I eat so little food, it really doesn’t seem “fair.” I have “given up” so much food and the physical changes seem to be so minimal! Have you ever felt that way?
I know that I am growing spiritually, I am depending less and less on food to meet emotional needs. I am turning to the Lord and growing in my walk with Christ, yet this battle with food seems ever before me. It hardly seems “fair.” Have you ever felt that way?
I am doing my part. Why on earth won’t God do His? Have you ever felt that way?
If I am not careful, this thought that “Life isn’t fair and it should be” can become a root of bitterness in my relationship with others and with the Lord. I can end up harboring a grudge.
Let’s consider what “fair” would be.
Who among us can stand before holy, perfect, God and claim to be holy as He is holy? In this moment, we might fool ourselves into thinking we are “good enough,” but sooner or later a stray thought, a harshly spoken word, a thoughtless deed will betray that we are far from holy. God has declared that we all have sinned and fall short of his glory (Romans 3:23) and we seem to prove it with each hour that passes!
He has also declared that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).
So what is fair? That I would be zapped by a bolt of Divine Lightning where I stand (or sit as the case may be). That I would be eternally banished from the presence of God!
Thankfully, God is NOT “fair.” He has provided a way for us. He demonstrates his love for us in this, that while we are yet sinful, he had Christ pay the death penalty. Christ died in our place and his righteousness was credited to our account. (Romans 5:8)
Is that fair? Goodness no! “Fair” would never have required Jesus–who died a perfect life–to be brutally tortured and sentenced him to die on a Roman cross–one of the most brutal ways of dying. And “fair” would never credit ME with Christ’s wonderful, amazing, sinless righteousness.
In light of all of this, do I have any business coddling the thought (I can hear Gollum’s “My precioussssss…..”): Life should be fair to me. I deserve better!
You don’t deserve better. I don’t deserve better. We deserve hell! But God has intervened and to all who will look to Christ and what he has done for us, we may be saved from that death sentence. Romans 6:23 which I quoted in part above says “The wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Pretty unfair stuff! Pretty GREAT stuff!
So, what does all of this have to do with eating? Well, God has given us a variety of foods to enjoy. The textures, the tastes, the wonders of all the varieties of food we can enjoy are myriad. There really is no limit to it. But, as with all of the many blessings he gives us (like sex, for instance :-)), God has intended that the pleasure be enjoyed within certain boundaries. Within those boundaries we are free to drink deeply of the pleasures of His hand! We can delight! Thrill! Be blessed! This is grace abundant! This is merciful bounty and kindness! We want to renew our minds about what we consider “fair” and begin to see God’s goodness as it is:
My body is fearfully and wonderfully made and remarkably efficient!
I have taste buds that can enjoy the plethora of flavors that are available!
When I live within God’s intended boundaries for me, he rejoices in my delighting in his gifts
I can foster a heart of gratitude for the many blessings he has given and put greed to death
The textures and explosions of flavor that are possible with literally millions of combinations of spices make food one of the most diverse gifts available
What can YOU add to this list to put the whole “Life isn’t fair and it should be” into its proper perspective?
Do I really want to fuss, be resentful, claim that “it isn’t fair” if I can’t stuff my face until my stomach is miserable? Really?
So, I have decided that I am glad that life isn’t fair. If it was, not only would I not be able to enjoy any food (since I would be in hell where I don’t think food is necessary), but I would not have a relationship with the Lord. I wouldn’t get to enjoy the pleasures that God brings my way in this life–all wonderful delights that I definitely don’t want to take for granted.
How about you? Does the lie that life should be fair impact your life at all? Does it hinder your joy in 0 to 5 eating boundaries? What can you do to make today different?
Well, it’s what you do when you are preparing to go into a situation where you know you won’t be able to have food: a courtroom, a class, a seminar, church service, classroom situation, doctor’s appointment, DMV line, etc. Since you know you will not be able to have food for an hour or two (or longer) and you are concerned you will get hungry and not be able to eat, preventative eating is stocking up ahead of time–eating when you aren’t at a 0 or eating beyond 5 in preparation for the situation that may be ahead. It is eating so you won’t get hungry when you don’t think you will be around food.
There are some obvious problems with this. 🙂 Like there is nothing about it that respects the 0 and 5 boundary that God has asked us to respect!
We also have no idea if we will get hungry then or not. Not for certain!
This video explains a bit of what I am talking about. (If you are an email subscriber, please visit the blog if the video isn’t viewable.)
We often discover that if we are careful to give ourselves permission to eat to prevent hunger, it often leads to “I have broken my boundaries once already, so I may as well break them the rest of the day” sort of eating. Or “I have blown my boundaries” or what Barb Raveling calls “Failure Eating.”
As I shared in the video, there are a couple of ways of handling a situation like this.
Plan your hunger so that you are at a 0 with time before the event to have a meal that will be likely to sustain you for the period of time you won’t have access to food.
Carry a small bag of nuts with you to “shave the edge” off the 0 if you do land there during your class, appointment, or flight. A few cashews or almonds can go a long way and then you will have the pleasure of enjoying a meal at 0 after your class, appointment or flight.
Renew your mind about being hungry before you actually are and then allow yourself to pray your way through “0” to the “other side” and enjoy that while you are hungry, your body is likely using its very efficient stores to fuel you!
When you are tempted to stock up and eat before you head off to a situation where you may not have access to food for a few hours, consider using these questions:
Preventative Eating Questions
1. Why do you feel like you should eat now?
2. Would you break your boundaries if you chose to eat now?
3. Are you willing not to eat right now?
If yes, consider what God’s solution might be to this situation. What do you think HE wants you to do?
If no, consider doing the justification or entitlement questions. It sounds like this is more about having an excuse to eat than it is about a legitimate concern to eat.
3. Should this be an exception to your 0 to 5 eating boundaries?
Yes – Why?
If the answer is YES, then how will you know when you are justifying eating and when you have a legitimate reason to eat? What will be the standard?
Given what you know about yourself and your history, do you think you can trust yourself to be honest about breaking a boundary?
No, if not, then do you really need to consider this option any further? What options are available to you instead? Are you willing to do one of them?
4. Are you afraid of being hungry? Why?
Where does fear come from?
What would God want you to do to deal with this situation?
5. What options can you consider to avoid being hungry during the class, appointment, or seminar without breaking your 0 to 5 boundaries?
6. Is avoiding hunger during your appointment, flight or class a need or a desire?
If a need then what possible solutions are there that you can use while respecting your boundaries?
Are you willing to experience discomfort if doing so means honoring the boundaries that God has established for you?
Is alleviating your hunger or the possibility of being hungry worth the spiritual, emotional, and physical consequences that you will face if you break your boundary and eat to prevent hunger?
FEAR BIBLE STUDY
Much of my “preventative” eating has been rooted in fear. Maybe you can relate! We may be afraid of being uncomfortable …hungry… and not able to get to food. When we dismantle this fear and evaluate it, it really helps to diffuse the emotional volatility that is a part of it.
For me, I feared being hungry and without food because of abuse related to my childhood.
God wanted me to allow myself to get hungry…and to experience his presence in the midst of my fear and my physical hunger. He wanted me to see that there was nothing to fear. That my fear was rooted in lies that I believed.
Renewing my mind about this was vital to break free from “preventative eating” and so I have to review truths such as these when I am tempted to eat to prevent hunger ahead of time:
Being hungry is not so painful that I can’t manage it.
When I am hungry there is nothing terrible that will happen to me.
It is TRUE that I will have food sometime relatively soon.
The comfort that I need and that I sometimes turn to food to give me is only found in the Lord (and he sometimes uses people).
No alleviating of my potential discomfort is worth the violating of my boundaries.
Who knows? Maybe I won’t even BE hungry before the event is over with. I just don’t know!
Food will be available when the event is over. If I am at a 0 I will be free to get food.
If I am hungry for a while, I will be ok.
Look up the following bible verses and write down what you learn about the need for preventative eating:
Psalm 37:25
Psalm 81:10
Psalm 73:23-26
Isaiah 41:10, 13
Can you find any others? If so, share them with me so I can add them to this list.
What blessings are in store for you if you stand against the temptation for “preventative eating?”
Do you have any events this week, any appointments, errands to run, meetings to attend where you might be likely to engage in “preventative eating?” What strategy will you prayerfully employ so that you don’t break your boundaries?
Welcome to our final week of studying through Barb Raveling’s Weight Loss Bible Study. We have plans to revisit this material in the future–for sure!
This week, we will look at the pressure we feel in social settings. (If you subscribe via email, you may need to come to the blog site to view the video)
This week, please complete Barb’s Day 15 of her study, “Social Eating.” You can find those questions at this link here.
Additionally, I will be adding another study/question set for you to do on “Preventative Eating.” So you will still have two days worth of material to get through. I love that we have been taking our time with this material, wading through it slowly. Before we begin our next study, there is time to complete any of that material you may not have had time for or to review the material that God brought home to your heart. We will do that next week, in fact.
Please keep renewing your mind about your renewing of the mind goal or the adjusted renewing of the mind goal that you have established. How has that gone for you? I found that I “forgot” to include that in my routine and so what a surprise! I ended up with my resolve diminishing and then it was easier for me to justify eating outside of my boundaries!
Today, I am recommitting to renewing my mind! Will you join me?
Do you have any potential social situations this week that you may need to make a plan for? What plan might work for you to emerge victorious?
In a little over two weeks, we will begin our new study using a book called HEAL – Healthy Eating & Abundant Living by Allie Marie Smith and Judy Wardell Halliday. Whether you are new to Thin Within or a veteran, this material will meet you where you are. Allie and Judy have provided a fresh approach for a younger generation and even though many of us are not in that “younger generation” necessarily (I know that I’m not!), I have found that most of us face similar challenges. In fact, often the challenges we faced when we were in college are the same or similar to the ones we face now!
My initial announcement about this study may be found at this link. Feel free to have a look. To purchase the book so you are ready to go, you can visit Amazon and that link is here.
For the study, we will continue to make use of the principles we have been using during Barb Raveling’s Weight Loss Bible Study. I will encourage you to renew your mind and to truth journal.
Here is how it will work…(I think! LOL!)
Each Monday, I will post a video that gives a preview of the week’s material. In this video, I will mention the assignment–highlighted also in the day’s post. There are six chapters in the book, so one chapter a week will be what we go through. When you get your book, get familiar with it.
Then, through the week, I will post content here at the blog that you can use whether your in the study or not. Even if you aren’t in the study, the material here will be intended to support and encourage you. If you are going through the study, it is my intention that the material I post at the blog will supplement and complement the study of the HEAL book. This has been my intention with the Weight Loss Bible Study, too. That way, whether you are plunging in with the study or not, you will find content here that supports you!
The section in the chapters marked “For Group Study” will be woven throughout the blog during the week–but, again, even if you aren’t doing the study, you can participate in that and be encouraged by it!
On Fridays or Saturdays, I hope to wrap up the week’s study with a summary.
Our study will conclude about the second week in June (if I have it calculated correctly). I hope you will join us!
What questions do you have about the study? Feel free to ask here–chances are if you have a question someone else does too!
Day 3 of our Ditch Your Scale Challenge: What promises of God are you “standing on” instead of standing on the bathroom scale? 🙂
“Yummy Food” or “Good Food” eating is what we do when the food happens to be available and we just happen to decide to eat it. Can you relate? It is typically, a grab-and-go sort of experience…not at all a thoughtful one!
For instance, you are making dinner and simply must taste the goods as you do so. A taste here, a taste there and you discover when all is ready that you are not hungry for dinner when it is time to sit down with the family! BOO!
One solution to this sort of “Yummy Food Eating” is to chew gum while you are cooking/preparing food. It is typically a bit off-putting to taste something else while the gum is in your mouth! At the very least, it can help you to realize that you are being more intentional about the tasting than you thought. When I discover that my “accidental” bites aren’t quite so “accidental,” I know it is time to pray for a willing heart and renew my mind about my boundaries!
Another example of a “Yummy Food Eating” temptation is Costco and Sam’s club (or other membership club). Food samples that are out everywhere no matter which time of the day you choose to shop there. This may sound silly, but if you know you love the samples, you can actually plan to be hungry during your shopping trip at Sam’s or Costco. That way, you can enjoy the samples (though you might be “breaking” your secondary boundaries, so I recommend being intentional about focusing on the food since you will likely NOT be sitting down!) and it won’t break your boundaries. It can actually be your meal! If you end up not hungry and find yourself at one of those stores, then I recommend chewing gum as you shop, too. Again, it isn’t likely you will “accidentally” eat the samples if you are chewing gum.
A third place we may give in to “Yummy Food Eating” is at bible studies or fellowship groups. Again, you can plan your hunger (remember, this takes practice, so extend grace to yourself as you work on this!) or establish a secondary boundary, such as staying out of the kitchen. Again, if those options don’t work for you, chewing sugarless gum can.
It may sound like I chew a lot of gum! To be honest, I hate chewing gum, and you may as well. It is worth it while we are training ourselves to be more aware, though. It IS temporary! You won’t feel like you always have to do this. But for now, as you are realizing the moments of your life when you unconsciously may have had tastes of food that resulted in a “mess up,” it may do the trick.
Some of you work in an office where snacks and temptations abound literally all day long. You can “strike early” by taking samples of the foods in the office staff room and putting them in your own container in the fridge. Then you can have them when you are hungry! You can enjoy the items that other people brought without breaking your boundaries.
Plan ahead. Think through the day. Are there any potential opportunities for “Yummy Food Eating” to come calling? What will you do to prepare for it?
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CONTEST WINNER: I will make that announcement later tonight. I hope you will check back!
Day 2 of the “Ditch Your Scale” Challenge: How is it going? Did you stay off the scale today? Did you need to renew your mind about it at all? Are you off to a good start today? What thoughts have you had about this as you have given this to the Lord? 🙂
