Failure? — Struggling With Evening Eating

by Heidi Bylsma | May 4, 2011 | Blog

Because of my involvement with the Thin Within company in the past and my participation in writing the book and workbook material, I have received emails and phone calls over the years asking for input, help, and advice.

One of the most common struggles that people face is with consistency. I often am asked “How can I stop failing at this? I start the day committed to giving God my eating within 0-5, but by the time dinner is over, I seem to always give in to eating constantly for the rest of the evening. What is wrong with me? How can I be successful?”

The questions vary in how they are worded, but this is the upshot.

Here I share some thoughts about this:

It sounds like you are defining failure according to the dieting mentality. How does God define failure, though?

Many of us think failure is not losing weight, not sticking to a meal plan, etc.

But what if God’s view of failure is radically different–if it has more to do with our hearts? What if it has nothing to do with our weight and is simply: Not seeking Christ with all our hearts?

Think about it. Do you desire to give God your eating? Are you growing in your awareness and taking babysteps of faith and action to surrender your eating to Him. This is seeking Christ! This is far from the “failure” that you claim!

Let’s not forget that life is a journey–it is progressive. Sanctification is a process!

Maybe we need to extend ourselves the grace that God certainly does–He demonstrated His love for us in this, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Even when we had NOT A SINGLE Godward thought, he reached out to bridge the chasm between us.

God has given us a very precious gift that he intends for us to embrace that might help us to delight in Him and his goodness, rather than fixate on ourselves.

Let’s invite God to help us to redefine failure and success the way HE does. Right now, he is working on your heart. You are seeing your weakness, I bet! He says in his Word that when you are weak, he is strong. That is progress, too! If you can rest in that, it might help. Look at all the many moments in the day that you are honoring him. If it is just at night that you struggle with godly choices, I would say that probably over 20 hours out of every 24 are spent honoring God with your choices! That is far from failure!

While we DO want to repent of sin, maybe we should also declare His praises in the work He is doing in us and celebrate our good choices.

I believe that these things are CRUCIAL–to welcome the renewing of our minds and to let go of the dieting mentality that says failure is when I don’t lose weight or stick to an eating plan 100% of the time.

Nevertheless, here are some practical tips for offsetting the temptation to eat in the evening when many of us are most vulnerable. See if some of these may help you!

1.) After dinner, put up a “Kitchen Closed” sign and abide by it.

2.) Chew sugarless gum. Anything you put in your mouth when you are chewing gum will be sorta gross. 🙂

3.) (My favorite as I believe it gets to the heart…) Since you know you struggle in the evening, plan for some quiet time with the Lord immediately after dinner. This will be time to devote yourself afresh to him, to feast on his presence, to ask him to come into your weakness and to be strong in it.

4.) Plan a new activity after dinner other than computer or tv or reading (or whatever is your typical MO…). Change things up, get out of the house, go for a walk or a drive or…whatever. Break out of the rut! 🙂

I hope these help, but most of all, our THINKING is where we need the transformation to begin. I think that is one reason why this approach is called Thin WITHIN. The changes begin in our hearts and in our thinking. Let’s be sure we address this. It is hard work, certainly, but our God is faithful. Let’s invite God to renew our minds and to transform us.  Let’s spend time immersed in His Word during the time of day when we are most tempted!

Romancing the Tenderness

by Heidi Bylsma | Nov 19, 2010 | Blog

 When it is tempting to get my eyes on people or circumstances, I am learning that I can either “go with the flow” (NOT a good idea) or “romance” a heart tender to the Lord–setting my sights on restoration, nurturing whatever it will take in my life to be at that place where I want the Lord…desperately, even if I don’t feel that way now.

Practically, this means I don’t let just anything have access to my affections. I am more prone to wander so far from the Lord. Some who know me may think mistakenly that daily quiet times are my habit because I am “so godly.” Or that I set my timer on my watch to check in with God hourly (or more often) because I “love the Lord” so much. The truth is, I am so NOT godly. The truth is, I am so prone to love the things of this world that I have to do these things to survive without sinking into a horrific pit of sin and despair.

Knowing that about myself causes me to guard myself…even to the point that movies, books, magazines, music, and the company I choose to keep during this time simply must contribute to a godly mindset.

For example, while there may be nothing wrong with secular music for most people, *I* know where words bathing my mind can take me. Do I really want “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” (Linda Ronstadt in the 1970s) to be going through my head again and again, even during the night when my mind is idle? Or would I rather have something going through my head like what I woke up to this morning: “God has a perfect timing, God has a perfect plan, He’s asking you to trust him, even when you don’t understand. Our God is faithful, what he promises he will do, Our God is able, his truth will see us through…” (Thank you, Michele Wagner!)

Which do I want washing over my mind as I sleep (or don’t), as I go through the day, as I interact with others, as I am faced with sadness or surprises or disappointments? It is clear that “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” is likely to resonate with me more, but what is TRUTH? I am a daughter of the King! I have an amazing inheritance kept for me in heaven! I am NOT poor or pitiful. God IS faithful!

I have to choose truth right now, even if it feels like a reach for me.

This is a time when even if I don’t FEEL the truth of a song, I make it a prayer: “Lord, I want to see Your faithfulness afresh today. Help me to see with new eyes.” Music is either an expression of praise for me or a prayer beseeching God to meet me and flood all my empty places. For me,  music that can’t be used this way is often detrimental to fixing my mind on truth–at least during a season like the one in which I currently find myself. This may not always be the case–and this is just a season right now, where I must be exceptionally cautious.

Further, right now I need to guard my heart from people who, in an effort to be supportive  knowing my situation, will encourage an attitude of entitlement or “you have a *reason* to be mad!” I don’t need help digging in my heels, “donkey-legging” or being prideful.

This is also a really good time for me to get to know God afresh. Who is He according to His Word? If I  allow my *feelings* to define my God, I am, in effect, creating God in my own image. This is a temptation right now more than ever. Instead, I want an accurate view of God. I have to approach the Word *assuming* that I have a warped view of Him and invite His Spirit to give me  fresh clarity–a view of what is *truth*.

It is so clear to me that my mind is the battlefield and if I don’t guard it zealously and jealously, the enemy *will* invade it and/or my flesh will take command. So being paranoid, if anything, about what accesses my mind is vital to me. I would rather err on the side of caution than walk on in arrogance and in error.

It has also been helping me to pray verses that God has used to encourage me, putting many on a spiral bound set of index cards.

Even if God “disappoints me,” I have to nurture an awareness of His presence. I *have* to because it is my life line. If I don’t have Him to cling to, I may as well flush my life down the toilet. There, simply, is nothing I want to live for apart from God. No, not even my kids. They are human, too, and that means they can wound and disappoint. But when God is my all, when He is the only one that I pin my hope to, I have a better view of the things that people do that would otherwise disappoint or wound me. In other words, by fixing my eyes on God and allowing Him to orient my entire life, the rest is put in a better place, too.

Oh, goodness! Do you see what I mean? I have to romance the tenderness. I have to DO the things that will cause me to WANT the Lord and not my own way.

I have seen tangible benefits of doing this…enough so that it keeps me hanging in there. For instance, I have been surprisingly filled with gratitude for people in my life who God wants to use to refine me–the very same people who wound and disappoint! Apart from romancing the tender heart I *know* where I would go, instead–toward bitterness and resentment. If I let down my guard for even a moment, that is where I end up. Resentful. Filled with bitterness and maybe even hate. By romancing the tenderness, I have been able to see my own mistakes and foolishness and to ask others to forgive me for the things that have contributed to conflict. God is sanctifying…making holy through this process, but apart from romancing the tender heart, I would be in a very different place–defensive, much more arrogant, angry, totally depressed. Who wants to go there? I certainly don’t. That is a pit that is hard to get out of.

This isn’t easy, certainly. But God’s Spirit enables. I personally would rather go the path of least resistance. But I refuse to stop fighting for what I know is truth. I refuse to give in. In fact, I am in all out rebellion against my flesh and my culture that says “If it feels good, do it.” This does NOT “feel good.” This is hard. But if I let go, if I allow the hardness to have its way with me, I will stop living–or I may as well.

How about you? Do you need to romance a tender heart? What would help you to practically do this?

Hearts Set on Pilgrimage!

by Heidi Bylsma | Sep 13, 2010 | Blog

Week 09 – Assignment Thin Within Book

by Heidi Bylsma | Aug 8, 2010 | Blog

This week we are reading and completing the material in chapters 19 and 20. This material can be LIFE CHANGING! It has been for me!

But it may require a lot of time…even more than a week. That’s ok. Just hang in there and work slowly through it.

God is doing a new thing!!!

This week’s assignment:

1.) Please continue your list of God’s attributes. 
This list must be getting pretty long by now! 🙂 I would love to know what aspects of God you have found most precious during the past two months. In what way has God revealed himself to you?

2.)  Please take time each day to praise God for some of the attributes on your list.

3.) Keep adding to your gratitude journal.  I would love to hear what God is doing through the practice of keeping a gratitude journal. Share it with us if you feel so led. You can do that here, on Facebook, or at the Thin Within forums (which is even better!).

4.) Read and complete day 19 and 20. – all reading and activities through page 218. Now is not the time to give up! Even if you are a bit behind…hang in there!

5.) We are our own worst critics. The very grace that Jesus died to extend to us, we refuse to extend to ourselves. We are so bent (very often) on our performance. Jesus never uses our performance for a standard for his acceptance of us. In fact, Romans 5:8 says that he chose to demonstrate his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Jesus died for us–to win us–to purchase us. Before we had a single Godward thought, he declared us before the foundation of the earth to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he adopted us! All because he receives glory from it somehow. Isn’t this amazing? This is the gospel! As you read chapter 19, PLUNGE in! Ask yourself as you read “Do I believe this to the depths of my being?” If not, ask yourself if you don’t believe it because it is NOT the truth (in which case, please tell me so I can pass the information on to Judy and Arthur Halliday!) or do you not believe it because the enemy has convinced you to believe lies? We are still rebuilding our foundation…to be sure that it is THE WORD OF TRUTH! 🙂 Journal about these thoughts.

6.) What do you have the most difficulty receiving God’s forgiveness for? What do you have the most difficulty forgiving yourself for? Journal these things–what they are, how they have affected you. Then write across the top of each page of your journal where you have written about this:

7.) As you complete the activities on page 197-199, refuse to be subjugated by a spirit of condemnation. The enemy is alive and real and wants to cause you to take this exercise and find condemnation instead of the very freedom that God intends. Don’t let the enemy have his way. Be watchful and know that your great Lord, King of the Universe, loves you and is the victor. He has made you more than a conqueror in Christ.  If it helps, use the affirmations on pages 125-127 to combat any feelings of despair. Those statements are based on the TRUTH of scripture! Many of us have believed lies for years and the process of being transformed from within requires the renewing of our minds as we have been learning! If you feel so led, tell us about what you experience as you progress through chapter 19 and the activities listed here or in the book.

Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook #1 Details

by Heidi Bylsma | Jul 24, 2010 | Blog

Hi, everyone.

For those who couldn’t or didn’t want to watch my “infomercial” 🙂 about the Thin Within workbook, I thought I would share with you here, some of the features of the resources that Thin Within offers, specifically highlighting the Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook Kit #1.

The first kit is the most comprehensive and comes with three pieces:  

1. Workbook #1
2. The Temple Toolkit
3. The Memory Challenge Cards (click on the image to see a large version and click again to see it magnified further):

The contents of Kit #1

First, the workbook itself, is a spiral bound volume that has material for 12 weeks of study. To download a sample of the material, visit this link. The download is an Adobe Reader (.pdf) file of Week One – “Hope.” After you download it,  print it and take a week to try it out! 🙂

Each week consists of the following:

• Lesson material – This is dense written material that you will read to glean the concepts that we are teaching or reviewing during the week. I usually recommend about an hour spent with this, highlighting, asterisking, and looking up the verses in my own bible. I may even write comments in the margin or, if I am leading a group, questions to be sure to ask participants.

• Each of the reading portions of the lesson are divided into these segments:

• Introduction – a brief overview of the week’s focus
• Spiritual Information – the relationship this material has to the Scriptures
• Physiological Information – the “mechanics” — what you can actually do to make additional changes in your eating to honor the Lord
• Integration – How it all works together

• Exercises – Don’t worry! These aren’t calisthenics! LOL! They are basically guided daily quiet times. 🙂 Each week includes “exercises” for each day of the week. Days six and seven are optional and a bit “lighter.” Days one through five include the following sections:

• Going Deeper – This relates some aspect of the lesson you have read to your life
• Bible Study – This shows how Scripture illustrates or illuminates the principles taught in the lesson
• Knowing God By Heart – One of the best parts, this is a study of the attributes of God. We have found that the way a participant views God impacts how she will view food, herself, her body, as well as her willingness (or not) to surrender this aspect of her life to the Lord for His purposes.
• Getting Practical – These are suggestions for putting some of the mechanics of the program into practice
• Memory Challenge – Hiding God’s Word in our hearts will enable us to be reminded of our commitment to him when we are weak! Memorizing scripture is extremely helpful for renewing our mind and changing our thinking!

• Review of the Week – This provides a space where you can summarize what God has shown you or questions and thoughts you have had. This section is especially helpful when you meet with others in a group setting. 🙂

In addition to these resources in the workbook, there is an extensive Introduction at the beginning and Appendices in the back, providing a great deal of material that will support you on your journey.

But wait! There’s more! 🙂 (Couldn’t resist saying that!) Not only do you get the Workbook, but when you purchase the first kit, you also get the Temple Toolkit. This is a resource that offers a place for you to log your own journey throughout each day during the full twelve weeks. As you progress through the material, the pages change to match what you have learned in the workbook. Let me show you what I mean.

The first image below shows Days 25-28. Click on the image to see a larger version and then click again to see FULL size what these pages look like in the temple toolkit:

Days 25, 26, 27, 28 in the Temple Toolkit

As you progress through the workbook and new material is introduced, the Temple Toolkit changes, too:

Days 49, 50, 51, and 52 in Temple Toolkit

Again, click on the image above and then click again on the bigger image to see it full size. You will see new tools have been added.

Of course all of the tools are optional as you go through the 12-week workbook. If you have come out of a background of excessive charting and graphing, you may only want to use the journaling pages. Or, as time goes on, you may experience freedom with one tool and not another. The Lord will lead each person individually. Some have freedom to use all the tools, charts and graphs.

By the time you are closer to the end of the first twelve weeks, you will have been introduced to all of the tools. Note how the material in the toolkit has evolved:

Days 77, 78, 79 and 80 in Temple Toolkit

Again, “Wait! There’s more!” 🙂 When you order the first kit, you get not only the Workbook, the Temple Toolkit that changes as you go through the material, but you also get the Memory Challenge and Temptation Buster Cards:

Memory Challenge and Temptation Buster Cards

Again, click on the image above and the larger image, to get a full size view of what these include. You cut them up and can carry them with you so that Thin Within isn’t just a bible study that you begin in the morning and leave behind the rest of the day. These resources are very supportive in helping you to keep the principles that God is leading you to embrace and apply with you throughout the day.

We don’t want to just accumulate head knowledge, but then leave it behind for the rest of the day! We want to ACT on what we learn in our times of study and in God’s Word!

I realize that $45 is not a “bargain price” for a workbook alone, but I trust you will feel like it is worth it. This material includes three months of workbook material and exercises, as well as the Temple Toolkit which would probably cost $20 for something like that (if you could find such a thing!) separately. (It isn’t sold separately at Thin Within, so this is hypothetical!) Truthfully, with the money you save by eating less food :-), you will be able to afford a kit for yourself and a best friend, too! (Ok, so now I am taking my infomercial over the top…hope you are bearing with me! LOL! But it IS true!)

Thin Within isn’t a big company. No one pulls in a big salary. The proceeds from sales of the workbook go to cover the costs of producing these materials, keeping the Thin Within website functioning, other expenses (like the phone!), and small stipends for some of the Thin Within team members.  So while the cost of $45 may seem steep, it isn’t padding anyone’s pocket. I am sure you will be pleased with the quality of the materials you receive. (Boy, do I ever sound like an advertisement today. Sorry about that! I just really believe in this material and am eager for the word to spread!)

If you decide that you want to lead a group we have resources available for you including video clips, leader resources, and a page at the Thin Within website that offers all kinds of ideas for running your orientation and weekly meetings. Not only that, but Judy Halliday and the Thin Within team are even now working on a printed leader manual that will be available (Lord willing!) in time for you to run your fall Thin Within groups through the workbook kit #1.

One additional piece of information that many are unaware of is that there are 3 additional workbooks, each covering 12 weeks. The material is designed so that if you run a group and have people who have gone through workbook #1 before, they can do workbook #2 or #3 or #4, even while you lead through workbook #1. Each of the workbooks are presented in 12 weekly themes that parallel each other. These are the themes for all four of the workbooks:

1. Hope
2. My Body–God’s Temple
3. Identity in Christ
4. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part One
5. Restoration
6. Counting the Cost
7. The Fight of Faith
8. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part Two
9. Building Godly Boundaries
10. Forgiveness
11. Prayer
12. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part Three

No matter if you have people in your group who have never before participated in Thin Within or, three time veterans, when your group is on week five, everyone will be studying, reviewing, learning about the theme of Restoration. This helps prevent the material from becoming stale! It is a great system that allows people of all experience levels to enjoy a group together, studying and reviewing together.

This fall, I plan to lead a live group through this material as well. I would love to hear from you. Prayerfully consider it. Then, request permission from your pastor, elders or women’s ministry leadership if you need to do so for leading a live group. Then, by August 30th, 2010, check in here (or the Thin Within forums and let me know what you are planning to do! You don’t have to “register” your groups, but if you do when you call Joe and Pam Donaldson at Thin Within 1-877-729-8932 (9:00am-5:00pm Eastern) to make your order, I believe they will send you additional leader resources. Let them know that you are planning on participating with Heidi’s online leading of the class, but that you have a LIVE group that will be joining you. I will be explaining this more in August.

For now, if you want to participate, here is what I recommend:

1. Pray
2. Get permission from anyone that you need to in order to have your class
3. Publicize your class. There are resources available here.
   
4. Check in here or at the TW forums to let us know that you have a live class that will be participating
5. Order your materials!
6. Keep praying! 🙂

I plan on having my first group session a week ahead of what I recommend for the rest of the folks. I will post here an informal video and written suggestions, giving you ideas about what you can do each week to lead your group. I got this idea from Beth Moore’s Living Proof Blog. A couple of summers ago, she did this with ladies going through a bible study written by another author. 


Our study will be more intensive–most of us are ready for that once fall has arrived! I do recommend that you plan to meet each week, but if you can’t, then every other week is certainly better than nothing! You will have to adapt how you use the materials to suit your group the best.

The suggested dates for you (but feel free to adjust and adapt as needed) are: 
Orientation the week of September 12
Week One the week of September 19
We will continue through the holiday season, taking a week off here and there.


We will have our grand finale just after the New Year, with a wrap up of all we have learned and “Where Do We Go From Here” session.


Some of you may want to continue leading groups into Workbook #2 or do another #1 so that new folks who want to start the New Year with weight loss (like so many do) have a place to go.


It isn’t too early to start thinking about this now!


More to come in the days ahead!