Just Saying No?

by Heidi Bylsma | Oct 28, 2009 | Blog

…you need to be spiritually nourished. So ask God to open your heart to his presence and power as you pray and feed on His Word. Invite the Lord into your struggle, and surrender the deeper hungers of your heart to him. Ask God for the willingness to relinquish control and trust him with your needs while you obey as he directs. (Emphasis added – Smith and Halliday, HEAL, page 64)

This little statement is packed with a lot of truth!

Many of us have experienced a *life*-long struggle with eating and our weight. It is so very easy to fixate on the food and our bodies. We have become accustomed to doing this–to fixating on food and our bodies as we have over the years (though it sure hasn’t served us well, has it?).

The authors encourage us to invite the Lord to do a work within us…this is where the root of our struggle is, after all. As we release our deep hunger and our insistence that we have something NOW to fill the hole, we begin to experience what God intends…a true, more deep, solution and satisfaction for what truly ails us. Making it a daily prayer (if not more often) that we will give HIM the control in our life is so helpful in keeping a godly perspective. I love that the authors point out this two-faceted process…we trust HIM with our needs, to do *HIS* part, while we also put one foot in front of the other in obeying what He tells us to do–doing OUR part in the strength he provides.

I have hesitated posting this post to the blog. I wrote it a few days ago…If you struggle with embracing the idea of how we eat being at all related to “obeying God,” I want to encourage you to either not read the rest of this post and to spend time asking the Lord to reveal HIS truth about this, or to prayerfully continue to read. What GOD says to you is the most important. NO human should put a yoke of slavery on you.

So, while Romans 8:1 and other verses of scripture clearly teach us that there is NO condemnation in Christ…while we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that GOD’s response to our sin is not “disapproval” or anger, it is hard for us to embrace this when all our lives we may have equated “disobedience” with incurring someone’s wrath, disappointment or disapproval. I urge you to realize…we are talking about God. He doesn’t need my obedience. He doesn’t need me! He chooses me. And he did this, Romans 5:8 says, while I was yet a sinner! Ephesians 1 says he chose me before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight–in love he predestined me! He has chosen me before I ever did anything godly or good! So I surely can’t lose that “approval” and “love” with any actions of mine. My actions didn’t “win” Him and my actions won’t “lose” Him!

So as we go on, please know that the last thing I want is for the enemy to use my words to heap condemnation on anyone. The Lord doesn’t do that!

But the truth is, in this society where we have food on demand, TV on demand and everything else with all kinds of options for what we “demand,” it is counter-intuitive to “Just Say No” to something that we want–even when it isn’t what God wants us to do. He wants what is truly best for us. He looks at the big picture. We tend to look at what will bring immediate gratification.

Romans 12:2 says that we need to refuse to be conformed to the world and, instead, be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It is no surprise that this is comes on the heels of verse 1 that urges us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to the Lord. I must be willing to give myself to God and say no to self. In our fast-food, micro-wave, have-what-you-want culture, this is like swimming against the current!

So, let me be direct with you (and as I am, I am asking myself the same questions…):

• Do you have one particular struggle that you face as a matter of routine?

The Lord LONGS to show compassion on us!

• Is there a food, restaurant, behavior relative to food and eating that you know the Lord is calling you to lay down, but you consistently turn away from the Lord to say yes to what you want to do?

Again, I don’t ask this of us to bring condemnation, but to urge each of us to admit that we need the Lord. We need him now. His saving power can be experienced by each of us in the daily-ness of everything that seems so mundane, including our eating! But we must turn to him and in humility let him know we need him.

• Maybe he is just calling for even a baby step of faith, but even that, you refuse him in one particular area…what is it?

I know that my sweet tooth really seems to be an idol in my life. I seem to bow before it constantly. The Lord longs to be my master. His heart aches. He is not burning with anger toward me over this. His wrath about sin was satisfied in Jesus! I stand before him as approved of and loved in the beloved, but that doesn’t mean his heart doesn’t ache for me to love only him!

Again, I ask not so that we might condemn ourselves. The Lord doesn’t condemn us either (see Romans 8:1).

But he does call us to rise above the attitude of “I want what I want when I want it.” He calls us to die to self. Jesus laid down his life and he calls us to lay down the practice of…always having ____________ on the way to work (insert StarBucks or Peets Coffee beverage of choice or anything else for that matter!)…or always having the buttered popcorn at the movies…or consistently throwing up after eating…or having to end a meal with something sweet…or…anything that we think we *can’t* say “no” to…is it possible we are not at a “can’t” place, but more at a “won’t” place?

I realize again that this leg of my journey is definitely about changing my “won’ts” to “wills.” With an act of MY will, I can *will* to do that to which he calls. I can say NO to self if saying yes to self is outside of godly parameters. I can *obey* him.

For me, God has done so much healing in my life that what might have formerly been “I can’ts” have definitely shifted…now I know that, in Him and because he has healed me, I can. I must rise up and walk.

Lord, you know my heart. Please help me to have a heart turned Godward…to say no to self when saying yes is outside of your will. In fact, Lord, I desire to want what YOU want, so I can have the joy of “indulging myself” and simultaneously pleasing YOU…because I want what you want! What a joy that would be to be able to say yes to self because self wants what Lord Almighty wants! But, Lord, I really want to choose YOU during those moments when I have other ideas…I want to do this joyfully.

Chapter 9 – Feel Like Road Kill? :-/

by Heidi Bylsma | Jun 26, 2009 | Blog

Have you ever felt like roadkill? I don’t mean the kind where you can tell what kind of unfortunate animal stepped in the way of a speeding motorist, but the kind that has been on the road for days and that now is nothing but a flattened mass of gray fur barely discernible on the asphalt?

That is me this morning.

Yesterday was, perhaps, the roughest day I have had in forever. And today has begun with a continuation of yesterday’s drama because I can’t seem to let go. Replaying conversations again and again between myself and someone I care about…it is just serving to make me miserable.

Sadly, today is my daughter’s 15th birthday. I really must get over myself and not ruin her day. I can’t even give myself the luxury of processing the situation that has put me in this frame of mind.

Today, nothing is left, no one is home. I am spent. I am left scratching my mangled head (and heart) about why God seemed to have led me to do something if it was going to result in such overwhelming sadness for me and for another. Why did I feel *confidently* that he wanted me to leap into oncoming traffic if I was only going to be taken out? I thought (arrogantly, perhaps) that he was using me to run a rescue of sorts. Even as I type this, I feel a sense of “Woe is me…I am such a victim!” Good grief.

This morning, God met me in my grief. I could barely lift my eyes to look toward him. But HIS beauty is what this is about…HIS face, HIS life in me, HIS will, HIS love, HIS plan…and I must do faithfully that to which He calls and, as one wise friend recently stated, leave the response of anyone else to Him. I can grieve that she felt more led to roll over the top of me than to stop and pause and ask God what His plan in this experience was. But now it is time to peel myself off the pavement…or allow God to lift my eyes Heavenward.

What, after all, have I been crowing about here on the blog for the past few weeks?

As I opened my book to chapter 9, I was amazed yet again by God’s timing…that today, of all days, I would read these words–words I have read so many times before. Living a charmed life has some drawbacks. When I have an experience like yesterday, I feel totally unprepared, out of my element, absolutely uncertain what to do and how to move forward. So, in my previous readings of this chapter, it is fair to say, I have never been in quite the place that I was this morning.

I highlighted almost all of page 87, in fact. I want to share the words written there. I feel like the fact that God brought these words to my eyes and heart this morning shows his incredibly loving, sovereign, omniscient character:

…our current suffering isn’t the only truth upon which to focus. It isn’t even the primary truth. What our sovereign God has purposed in Heaven is more real than what we can see. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

We can rest assured that no suffering is wasted when it is placed in God’s hands. No single heart aches that His doesn’t ache all the more. The Scriptures teach that the Lord has a record of all our tears (Psalm 56:8). We know that Jesus wept with Mary and Martha….We know that one day our Lord will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Revelation 7:17).

God uses each and every tear we have shed and every pain we have experienced to form and mold our character, to strengthen us, and to draw us closer to His heart. He wants us to experience His strength and sufficiency. He uses our affliction to cause us to see our need for Him and our struggles with food, eating, and our bodies to send us to Him, to look for His solution. In our weakness, He is made strong. He uses even this personal battle you are experiencing and He will redeem it for His glory. (Thin Within, pages 87-88)

As you might well imagine, reading this and the following pages, encouraged my heart so very much. I felt like God was personally in the midst of my trial–He is!

I must admit, however, that in my tiredness and being overwhelmed emotionally, yesterday, I reverted to old coping mechanisms. Perhaps not to the extreme that I did in the past, but my heart was hardened and I wanted to no longer feel pain…to numb myself. I ate outside of godly parameters and drank Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi outside of godly parameters as well. :-/ I ignored the call of my Savior in these things.

The NASB renders this verse “He waits on High to have compassion on you…”

Why do I keep him waiting to show me compassion?

This morning Jesus no longer had to wait. 🙂 He met me in the quietness of my private time with him. What a gentle, loving, kind Shepherd.

At the bottom of page 89, I am asked directly, “Are you currently in the midst of a challenge or trial?” Well, yes…I am. Then, the book admonishes “Ask the Lord to reveal His purposes for allowing this trial…” Ok…so I wait. If nothing else, I am reminded yet again of how desperately needy I am for HIM. Apart from Him, I am lost.

Chapter 1 Part 2 – Free to Enjoy God’s Lavish Love

by Heidi Bylsma | Jun 5, 2009 | Blog

Well, did you have the chance to go through chapter one and highlight, underline, and/or make a list of all of the attributes of God or his treatment of you asserted by the Hallidays? I did. Let’s compare lists. I am pretty sure this is only a partial listing:

• God has a plan and purpose for me.
• He has a future and a hope for me.
• God has brought me to these pages…NOW.
• He is a “mighty Way Maker.”
• He is the Lover of my soul.
• He is the Designer of my body.
• He purchased my liberty.
• He longs for me to see his handiwork.
• His love for me is unfathomable.
• His love for me is not based on my performance *or* size.
• God transforms me.
• God is crazy about me.
• God loves me the way I am.
• God is able and willing to lead me to freedom from food rules.
• God wants authentic living for me.
• He created me to be unique.
• The Lord will meet my needs.
• He wants to free me from worry and infuse my life with peace.

Again, this is likely only a partial listing. But…wow…if I BELIEVE these things…and I am pretty sure you could find support in scripture for all of them…I wonder how my life would be different?

If we are going to make this “leg of the journey” different than what has come before…we will have to focus on the Lord, focus on the Lord, focus on the Lord.

Let us allow him to remake our view of him, too, so that our focus is not on some false image of God. Let’s beg him daily that he would helps us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith (Hebrews 12). We have focused on “fixing ourselves” long enough! We have tried not to think about food long enough…it is like trying NOT to think of a pink elephant! What do you think about when I tell you “Don’t think about a pink elephant?” Probably about pink elephants! So trying NOT to think about food causes us to think about it more. We have to replace our thoughts of self, food, weight, body with other thoughts! Let’s replace “diet thoughts” with thoughts of exalting our God. Let’s make this journey about getting to know him and praising the God we get to know.

Trust me…as we do, we will see transformation from the inside out. He wants our hearts…let us make room for him by kicking out thoughts of self! Let’s press on to KNOW him…the REAL him…not what others have taught us about him. Many of us have views of God that are plain old WRONG! It is no wonder we don’t want to focus on him…he is a cosmic ogre in our minds! Let us allow him to reform and reshape our view of him in TRUTH and then let us set our minds on that…on Him. Let us lift HIM up and magnify HIM instead of magnifying our “issues.”

Right now, I must confess my sisters…I don’t know if it is hormones, lack of sleep or what, but I am feeling so weary…and all about me. I want to whine right now! :-/ I disappoint me a lot! So in the list above of all of God’s attributes or treatment of me, the one that resonates the most for me right now is that His love for me is not based on my performance. I am so thankful for that.

• Which from my list or yours from chapter 1 resonates the most for you?

Let us allow these things to be what our hearts are set on today…not on an image of health, thinness, or finally having our “issues” resolved. We want Jesus…we want Him high and lifted up. As we do that…I know that I know that I know that the rest will be worked out. I think, in a very real way, this is what Jesus meant when he said:

Some other thoughts from the chapter that hit me afresh…on page 4, the Hallidays mention that we don’t want to go through this process resentfully. So often that is what we do when we diet. We should eat or not eat this or that and we hate it the entire time. How can we live like that? We can’t and don’t! (And shouldn’t!)

So, this time, we will develop a heart change…and if we make this all about God (as, indeed, it IS), then he will perform in us that which delights him…including the heart change! He transplants our hard hearts with a tender heart of flesh.

These are things HE promises that HE will do! And as he does, we will thrill to surrendering our lives, our food, our body, our minds to him!

One other important thought…Being involved with Thin Within for a long time now, I have heard many people “come and go” and some say, “I feel like quitting.” Others have said, “Oh, I quit Thin Within…”

Here is the deal…Stick with me here and I hope this makes sense…I am not sure how we can “quit” once we start…as this isn’t about our bodies or diets or about Thin Within at all! It is about pursuing Christ for all we are worth and giving him access to our hearts, our appetites, our lusts, our emptiness, our need, our emotions, our passions…EVERYTHING. This is discipleship!!! We can’t quit that. Not really.

Sure, you could stop eating 0 to 5 (and maybe that is what those people mean), but what are the options…eating when the world’s diets tell you to? So that means my body’s cues don’t matter? That God doesn’t get to have a say over my physical body, but other diet plans will? You see, this isn’t about “doing” Thin Within. This is about “doing” GOD! 🙂

I hope that makes sense–or I think it will as we go on. But if you think of this as “doing” Thin Within, I think you may be disappointed…”doing” Thin Within may not “work.” It will be like a diet.

But if you are “doing” God…well…GOD WORKS! 🙂 It gets back to that heart thing. This may seem like the long way around, but, again, we know how to lose weight (and to find it again). We want the heart change that diets don’t form in us. Only God can do that heart transplant.

Does this make sense? 🙂

More points from the reading:

…much of your eating has been triggered by something that food can’t really satisfy.

BINGO! As you “wait” for hunger (and, again, this is NOT going to be a “growl”…please don’t insist that it be a growl!!!)…turn it to waiting for GOD. Waiting ON God.

and

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

– Psalm 130:5-7

Waiting for the Lord will never leave us wanting. He WILL meet us. He WILL satisfy. This is where the wording of things is a bit awkward…If we wait for hunger, our focus is on our body, ourselves. But waiting on the Lord, our focus is on HIM. He will then say, “Guess what, dear one? Your body needs fuel now. Come and dine with Me!” Isn’t that a glorious thought? 🙂 No guilt, no condemnation, no self-focus. Then our meal time can be a time of praise and worship… “Lord, thank you for the amazing flavor and texture in this food. You are so creative! Thank you for the abundance. Thank you for supplying my needs. You are an awesome Provider! Thank you for my body that YOU have created–fearfully and wonderfully!”

Let’s DO Key to Conscious Eating #1: Today, how about if we diligently apply ourselves to this…to wait on the Lord and eat only when you are physically hungry. If you aren’t sure if you are hungry, ask Him. Don’t focus on your body by yourself (and definitely don’t obsess about it!), but take your questions about your body and how it feels to him and focus on Him and what HE says. “Lord, is this what my body feels like when it needs fuel?” He will give you a sense in your heart of hearts that “Yes, child…it is…” or not.

One final thing. The “Observation and Correction” tool is meant to be dispassionate and there will be a more detailed discussion of it in our reading ahead. If you find yourself straying…in any respect…in the way you treat your family, in something you did at work, in your eating, in your thinking or speaking…in ANY way…you can dispassionately observe. “I did _____. This doesn’t work if I want to maintain the godly goal of _____.” That is observation. Please don’t beat yourself up! That isn’t God’s way! Instead, plan a godly correction. “In the future, when that mean co-worker says she wants to meet with me, I will stop everything to pray for a moment and keep my mouth shut!” or “When my mom and I get together, I always feel so drawn to food after she leaves…I will plan some time with the Lord so that I don’t run to fridge the minute she leaves…”

It really is that simple (not EASY, but simple!).

Observe: “I get emotional when my mom comes over and eat as a response…”

and

Correct: “The minute she walks out the door, I will take a few moments to take my feelings to the Lord. I won’t even walk into the kitchen!”

None of this: “What a rotten, no good, ungodly person I am…I will be fat forever and I will probably die of a heart attack, so I may as well inhale the Oreo ice cream…”

NO WAY. None of that. We will allow God to transform our thinking and renew our minds according to His Word and He NEVER speaks to his children that way!!!”

As we continue into chapter 2 of the book, even though it is an opportunity to get to know ourselves a bit, I challenge all of us to continue making our lists of God’s attributes and how he relates to us according to the authors. See if you can add anything to your list.

I have out of town company coming today…so I am hoping to steal time away to prayerfully read chapter 2 and to blog tomorrow or Sunday. I may get behind a bit already in my blogging though! Hang in there, though! I am praying for all of us!

Thoughts as I head off…

by Heidi Bylsma | Jun 2, 2009 | Blog

Just a reminder: My blog entries may be daily, but please don’t feel like you have to visit the blog each day, read every word or answer every question. Be gentle with yourself! Ask God what level of participation he has in mind for you and then ask him to give you the strength to do what HE wants…no less, but also NO more! Ask for him to help you NOT to beat yourself up if you feel you haven’t “kept up!” He will use whatever time and heart you invest in this process!
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Wow. I so enjoyed beginning my reading yesterday. Even as I read the acknowledgments pages and the About the Authors…I was touched that the Lord raised up the Hallidays to bring this material to the printed page.

I was also reminded about the blessing that God gave me…when I was so deep in my own struggles, that he invited me to participate with the Hallidays as the collaborator with them on the book. I bring this up not to elevate myself to you. NO! Please don’t put me on any kind of pedestal. I just want you to know that, given where I was when I was invited to participate, that there was NO merit in me–not writing ability, not a “successful” track record…nothing–it floors me how gracious and merciful our God is. He is with EACH of us. Every time I think of how I had the privilege of participating in the Thin Within book project and it was so clearly ALL about God and not at all about me, I am reminded that he calls the things that are not as though they are (Romans 4:17 – read the context, too…it is amazing!).

He loves to take what we think we “know” and surprise us in a huge way with just how awesome he is.

I hope you will take this as encouragement on this journey. Whatever you may think you “know” about yourself…forget it. 🙂 God knows better. He is calling the things that are not in your life as though they are, because in him, he can speak it into existence! THIS is the God we serve!

In the acknowledgments pages, I underlined things like these: “gratitude,” “faithfulness of our sovereign God,” “His message of freedom and hope,” “freedom in Christ,” and “inerrant Word of God.” As I mentioned previously, these kinds of things in the opening pages allow a reader to sort of “get to know” the authors.

In the “Meet Judy Halliday” section Judy says that she has joy, peace, and contentment relative to food, weight and her body. In recent months, when I have spoken with Judy on the phone about my own struggles to accept my body as it has changed without the help of tons of caffeine each day, she has encouraged me so much…She reminded me first that perhaps this IS my GOD-given size. What grace she expresses. I needed the reminder…

I share all of this because the very grace this author teaches in her book, she expresses and offers. That says a lot.

This time, as I read Judy’s testimony, something hit me that has never hit me before. I share this with you all here in keeping with my commitment to be honest on this journey…She speaks on page x about Thin Within becoming her identity. She says:

“It was my family and my passion, which I served seven days a week. Thin Within had become my god. I deified it just as I had deified food and exercise. I was without a weight problem, but I was not really free. I had simply changed addictions!”

I believe this is what happened to me relatively recently! I had allowed being a “poster child” for Thin Within to become my identity…and in many ways, I had deified that role…YIKES! Reading the words on the page yesterday, my heart testified as to the truth of this in my life!

I want to maintain a godly perspective…a deep awareness of the blessing that God has called me to participate in His ministry to people through Thin Within, without elevating Thin Within or the Hallidays improperly. Balance in all things…an appropriate focus.

Judy says on page xi:

“…my performance had nothing to do with my identity; it was about Him giving me a new heart.”

This little statement hiding in the About the Authors section is powerful! So often we bash ourselves about our performance. When I gained some weight after giving up my caffeine addiction, I did this very thing. I allowed myself to be obsessed with my “failed performance” and all I thought it said about me…If you had asked me, I would have told you that of course this isn’t all about the physical body. And yet, somehow I had made it be about that so that when my physical body changed, I felt like a failure.

God is at work doing a heart transplant in each of us. I have found that he is perfectly willing to allow me to come to the end of myself in order for me to see that my focus is wrong…that I have clung to something that is out of his will for me. Even GOOD things can steal our heart if we allow it!

In Dr. Halliday’s biography section, he closes with something that ties in perfectly to these thoughts and I just have to challenge each of us with these words…

“God loves us and accepts us as we are and where we are right now. He will gladly enter the life that is surrendered. He doesn’t wait for us to get it all together first.”

God chose to give us Jesus while we were yet sinners. Why do we act like he disapproves of us when we sin? He disapproves of the sin, yes…but he totally loves and accepts us! Oh, that we would ALL believe GOD about what HE says to be true of us!

Thoughts for you to ponder (this is optional!):

1.) Is there anything that you have “deified” like I did Thin Within? It may even be a good thing that has too elevated a value in your life. Prayerfully take this to God.

2.) How likely are you to get a sense of your identity from your performance, be it performance trying to lose weight, or any other thing that you may strive to do well? What do you think you should be aware of about yourself and this tendency as you begin this journey?

3.) Do you believe God? Not believe IN God, but believe God–believe what he says about you? Do you believe that, if you have come to Him through Jesus, that you are now 100% acceptable to him? How might this impact you as you begin this journey?

4.) What does God say about you in these verses? Romans 3:19-28, Romans 5:1-11, 2 Corinthians 5:21, Colossians 1:22; 3:12, Hebrews 10:14, Titus 3:7, Galatians 2:16, Galatians 3:24, Hebrews 9:22. Do you believe God and what he says in these verses?

Lord, I pray that each of us will experience freedom, peace, and joy relative to our bodies, food, and weight. You are after something so much deeper than a physical change. I pray that we would believe what you have to say about us and to us. Change us, Lord. I pray for my sisters here (and any brothers if they are along!) that we would just surrender ourselves to you to do with as you please. The thought is frightening, Lord…we want to maintain our illusion of control. But you are good and wise and loving…and you have a new thing in mind for each of us. You are doing it right now. I pray we might perceive it! Lord, some of us have gone through this material so many times and it feels tired to us. I pray that you will infuse us with a new perspective. You have called us to this place again for a reason. Truly, we have never been quite where we are today with the life experiences that we have now, the insight, the thoughts…so that alone shows that this isn’t the same old same old. You have been working on us. Help us to believe you that you will continue to work in and through us. Help us to believe you that…what you have begun, you WILL complete. Help us to cooperate with you in it today! Renew our minds by your word, Lord! In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Holy Struggle – Part 6

by Heidi Bylsma | Apr 10, 2009 | Blog

In the mid-80s, the Nike sports-shoe company was losing a lot of ground to Reebok. As “legend” has it, the “Just Do It” campaign was birthed during a meeting when someone threw out the comment “You Nike guys just do it…” rather off-handedly.

During the mid-80s to mid-90s, the Nike company’s “Just Do It” advertising campaign was responsible for a huge shift in the consumer dollars spent on sports shoes. Nike’s approach was a winner. Sometimes, “Just Do It” works. It did for Nike and, often, it works for us.

There are times when one has to choose, with an act of the will to “Just Do It.” To set aside all the excuses and to take one baby step toward choosing, in this moment, to live out the freedom that Christ has purchased for us.

Sometimes, as I am finding this morning (for instance), grabbing this moment for the Lord means a form of refusing to “Just Do It.” What I mean is that sometimes I have had this attitude that my choice doesn’t matter, so I will just get up off the couch where I have been having my quiet time, head for the kitchen and eat that donut instead of waiting until I am hungry…”Just do it” in a negative light.

So, this morning, as temptation has been present, I have chosen a “Just Don’t Do It” sort of mentality. Just DON’T give in to temptation. Just DON’T get up and have breakfast until I am hungry. Just DON’T make a cup of white chocolate, caramel cappuccino (a “new” vice for me if I let it be…caffeine and all!).

I want to refuse to give in to activities and attitudes that, in the past, have allowed my flesh to have rule over me, over my mind, over my heart. I am done with that…or I want to be.

Sometimes, I can choose an alternate activity to eating…when temptation faces me I can do something else:

We chose an alternate activity (to eating) so that what we’ve done in the past no longer has dominion over us. This will allow us even more time to sort out the feelings that arise and to choose how to respond rightly. By choosing to stop and not give in to disordered eating, we give the Spirit opportunity to speak. Get Thin Stay Thin, p. 173

WHY do I want to, time and again, eat when I am not hungry? What drives that? Why, when I know that eating more than my body needs causes a host of problems for me (including weight gain), do I want to keep doing that which causes such negative results? There is something inside me that isn’t rational…

The sinful nature of our flesh…says, “Get the pain to stop! Get rid of the discomfort!” The Spirit says, “Listen to that hunger. Wait for the Lord.” As we do this, we enter a new pattern of behavior in which we are continuously being renewed in intimacy with the Spirit, choice by choice. GTST, p. 174

Each moment matters…and not just in the “dieting” sense, though it matters there, too. It matters at a much deeper level. When I allow my impulses to drive me, then the first thought I get of the brownies in the kitchen or the left over chimichanga results in my heeding or “obeying” that impulse… I HOP up and follow my fleshly impulses and allow those impulses to drive my life.

Rather, I aspire to stop. I can think of it in one of two ways (or both):

“Just Do It”…just make the hard choice, just say no to the flesh.

Or think of it the other way:

“Just don’t do it…” don’t allow the impulses to drive my choices…learn to harness my appetites.

There is something so much deeper at work here than the food, body size, weight.

As I have refused this morning to give in to fleshly impulses, as I have waited on the Lord in this place…and not gotten up from the couch to go eat breakfast before I am hungry, I have been embraced by his presence. I am more aware of Him. His voice is clearer, His love more tangible. Though it is always present, I so often insulate myself from intimacy with the One who created me by turning to food to be my Delight and my Comfort. These things HE wants to be.