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May Madness!

by | May 3, 2008 | Blog

While I was back east with my kids–especially the first day of our visit to Washington, D.C., I became very convicted in my heart about how sedentary my kids have been during the years we have homeschooled. I value physical education and activity, so why haven’t I made that a vital part of our homeschool curriculum? Time, primarily. It *is* hard to do all the other subject areas and enrichments (like music) and make time for exercise. BUT…I must.

So, since we had ended two units–one in history and one in science–just before leaving on vacation, I decided upon returning home to make a deal with the kids. I won’t ask them to do science and history (per say) during the month of May IF and this is a big IF, we plunge ourselves headlong into a month of family fitness. Not a huge diehard program, but of daily being active in some way and daily making some small little choice in our eating to say no to self.

We would journal each day about how we feel physically, emotionally, spiritually and, at the end of May, evaluate what we would do for June. It is like an experiment. (Of course, Michaela pointed out that a true experiment has only one variable and we are throwing in too many variables for it to be a true experiment…sometimes she is too smart for her own good.)

Additionally, we are reading the Harris boys’ Do Hard Things. This is an amazing book. I am totally motivated! It exposes the Myth of Adolescence and challenges teens to “rebel” against low expectations. Oh my word…I am excited about what my kids may feel led to do as the “Do Hard Things” that God is calling them to do.

This past week, these changes in our homeschool curriculum made life SO much richer for me. I hope for them, as well. I guess technically, we only really did this stuff for a couple of days…starting May 1.

You may wonder how I would feel about logging and journaling my own physical activity with the kids and/or doing a regular exercise program of some sort, given my past and how I have avoided returning to obsession by avoiding any kind of regular program at all.

God brought something important home to my heart this past week. And now it is time to see if I can follow His prompting. Of course I can! He pointed out in my spirit that I enjoy freedom with my eating, right? No food is off limits, right? In fact, at Thin Within, we use Colossians 2:20-22 to point out that it is so easy for us to try to control the food to feel righteous when what we need to do is to control the heart. I have not had any difficulty with the concept that I no longer need to control the food. I understand and embrace the fact that my heart must be submitted to the Lord–no food is evil! When I go bonkers with a certain food, it isn’t the food that is an evil “trigger,” but it is proof that my heart is still chained to the food and my heart must be dealt with.

I understand, believe, and live that with food.

Well, what about exercise, logging and journaling and so on? God convicted me that a regular exercise program also is not some great evil I should avoid. By avoiding it, I am controling an external instead of my heart. I must, instead, allow him to teach me how to walk in freedom amidst exercising and logging and journaling. In essence, it is time for me to “grow up” in this a little bit. Besides, while I have always loved exercise, is it possible that my heart is deceiving me…that I really am…dare I say it…lazy…and just don’t want to exercise?

While it *is* true that I don’t want to become dependent on exercise to have a body that I am willing to accept…as I believe that is total captivity (where you live in fear if you don’t have time to exercise, or have a legitimate reason not to or something)…by the same token, God wants to train my heart to cope with those things in life…and that exercise is good for my heart.

I know that I have a very active life compared to most just by nature. Yesterday I exercised three of my horses, for instance! That required quite a bit of *me*. My arms are strong and my back has to do a lot, too (last night it was screaming at me that it had done too much!). But I know that, like my kids, I would *feel* better if I was fitter. If I was able to enjoy mountain biking for instance…When I used to run all the time, I will never forget the first time I tried true mountain biking in Lake Tahoe. I was fit enough that I could do it without having ever done it before. Either pedaling up some hills or getting off and hiking with a bike up hills was no big deal to me because I was fit.

I live in mountain biking mecca. I would LOVE to mountain bike with the kids. It would be great to be *able* to without dying. Yesterday when I was riding Breezy, I saw some guys sailing…I don’t know what you call it…it wasn’t hang gliding, and it wasn’t parasailing…but it was like a parachute…they hiked up the hills and let the sail carry them around…Oh my…it was breathtaking to watch. I want to do that and must be able to hike up those hills to do it. (Which shouldn’t be too tough given my usual routine involves climbing up steep hills with a feed bucket full of hay spreading it in the hillside forest for the horses! LOL!).

Anyhow, this month will be a training time for me…not just physically, but spiritually–that I don’t return to captivity–obsession. We have a 2 week free pass to a gym that we used to be members to. We will enjoy using that, too, after everyone is totally well. Maybe that will be our last two weeks of May or maybe I will save it for the first two weeks in June! We have to drive 45 minutes to use it, so the gas costs are expensive. The kids and I have enjoyed playing racquetball there before. Talk about a workout!

All for now!

Will Exercise Own Me, Lord?

by | Jan 21, 2008 | Uncategorized

I was always athletic and as a chubby, if not obese, adult, exercise and working out was a GIVEN! There was my aerobics and strength training period where I obsessively began to chart and log every exercise, repetition, intensity, set, etc. Every step climbed on the stair climber, every class attended and each minute of “Quad Step!” I was working on being certified by ACE as an aerobics instructor. (I was “certifiable” all right! LOL!)

Then, something weird happened and I ended up in the hospital…I came out of there needing to do something different. Long story, but I began training for a marathon! Yes! Something different! I logged and charted and graphed my miles, terrain, hill workouts and ran the San Francisco marathon and trained for the Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego.

An overuse injury resulted in me not being able to run and horror of horrors! The weight POURED back on my body! PROOF that I hadn’t dealt with my obsession with food. No wonder my husband calls that my bulimic period.

I have had video workout “phases” where I obsessed about that, gosh, I could go on and on.

Suffice to say, I have GOOD reason not to trust myself as I evaluate whether I really want to have a “program” of some sort for exercise. Since I released all my weight, I have never had a “program.” I used Dance Praise to work out for FUN! I didn’t log minutes, reps, or intensity. I just bee bopped along and praised the LORD! Perfect for me! Some problems with the computer program have caused that not to be a part of my activity these days.

It recently occurred to me that maybe I wanted to incorporate exercise into my life again…I mean something to improve my cardio vascular fitness. I live an active life, but I think God might actually want me to offer Him my fitness…I know that it could improve. I am quite strong. I don’t need to strength train. But I do feel like my heart health could be bolstered by doing something aerobic. Thing is…what could it be that won’t snatch me back into compulsion?

Simply, exercise used to be an idol–a stronghold. I have to be really careful now not to go back there again. I have released all my weight by living a relatively active life, but no intentional workout plan. This has been incredibly freeing for me.


Now, however, I can’t help but feeling like I should make sure my body is operating at maximum efficiency…you know, optimal health. I struggle with “pushing” myself still…I hope to find things that I can do that are FUN that I do just because I LOVE it not because I feel a sense of “I better or else I will get flabby again” or some such fiddle faddle.

One thing I am considering is Dodger. He needs to be worked with. We aren’t ready to ride on the trail together, but I think I could take him out walking, hiking and jogging on the trail. In fact, he and I used to do that together…so given he may go to my trainer’s in a few weeks, I would like to maybe get him out for a walk, jog, hike (we live in a very hilly location) several times a week! I think this would help me accomplish a couple of things. I just LOVE being with my horses and this horse is very special. (He is in a video with Daniel and he was featured in Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover’s Soul Volume 2.) I am so eager to have special one on one time with him. I could do that while helping him through some of his fears at being away from his herd buddies…and be active at the same time! It sounds wonderful! So…maybe I need to brainstorm things I enjoy doing that don’t feel like my old compulsive workout days…

1. Taking Dodger for walks

2. Dance Praise

3. I MISS ROLLER BLADING! I need to find a place where I can roller blade! Where we live we can’t do that. Bummer! Maybe I could out at the Omstead (where I often go to ride…they have a fire road that might work for blading on…)

4. Taking the dogs running…I used to train for marathons with my dog Samson…I haven’t wanted to start running where we live now, though. This is home of the 100 miler runs that some of my friends do…I am not kidding! And *I* thought training for a *marathon* was obsessive! LOL!

5. Mountain biking is something else that TONS of people do in this area. I would LOVE to do that, but I know I need to be fitter to manage getting UP the hills!

6. Kayaking. I live in river country…gives me something to consider! These things sound like fun!

Well, I am already out of ideas! Maybe God will show me as I just get started doing something fun…maybe one thing will lead to another.

Lord, you know that I want to have a temple (my body) that is in the best condition it possibly can be in (reasonably, Lord) for service to you. I want to be able to be fit enough not to worry about climbing any of the hills around here. I want to be able to have more energy and to know that I am doing my best to be in the best condition reasonably possible that I might serve you more effectively. You know that I fear returning to obsession. Please help me to remember that perfect love casts out fear. You are perfect love, Lord. If I rest in your love, I need not fear. I want YOU to be my guide and not to allow fear to be my guide…yet another idol in my life. Please be King in this and show me the way. Keep me from slothfulness, lethargy, laziness. Thank you for Dodger. I pray that he and I might bond as we go out on special walks together…Make it possible, Lord! In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.