I was always athletic and as a chubby, if not obese, adult, exercise and working out was a GIVEN! There was my aerobics and strength training period where I obsessively began to chart and log every exercise, repetition, intensity, set, etc. Every step climbed on the stair climber, every class attended and each minute of “Quad Step!” I was working on being certified by ACE as an aerobics instructor. (I was “certifiable” all right! LOL!)
Then, something weird happened and I ended up in the hospital…I came out of there needing to do something different. Long story, but I began training for a marathon! Yes! Something different! I logged and charted and graphed my miles, terrain, hill workouts and ran the San Francisco marathon and trained for the Rock and Roll Marathon in San Diego.
An overuse injury resulted in me not being able to run and horror of horrors! The weight POURED back on my body! PROOF that I hadn’t dealt with my obsession with food. No wonder my husband calls that my bulimic period.
I have had video workout “phases” where I obsessed about that, gosh, I could go on and on.
Suffice to say, I have GOOD reason not to trust myself as I evaluate whether I really want to have a “program” of some sort for exercise. Since I released all my weight, I have never had a “program.” I used Dance Praise to work out for FUN! I didn’t log minutes, reps, or intensity. I just bee bopped along and praised the LORD! Perfect for me! Some problems with the computer program have caused that not to be a part of my activity these days.
It recently occurred to me that maybe I wanted to incorporate exercise into my life again…I mean something to improve my cardio vascular fitness. I live an active life, but I think God might actually want me to offer Him my fitness…I know that it could improve. I am quite strong. I don’t need to strength train. But I do feel like my heart health could be bolstered by doing something aerobic. Thing is…what could it be that won’t snatch me back into compulsion?
Simply, exercise used to be an idol–a stronghold. I have to be really careful now not to go back there again. I have released all my weight by living a relatively active life, but no intentional workout plan. This has been incredibly freeing for me.
Now, however, I can’t help but feeling like I should make sure my body is operating at maximum efficiency…you know, optimal health. I struggle with “pushing” myself still…I hope to find things that I can do that are FUN that I do just because I LOVE it not because I feel a sense of “I better or else I will get flabby again” or some such fiddle faddle.
One thing I am considering is Dodger. He needs to be worked with. We aren’t ready to ride on the trail together, but I think I could take him out walking, hiking and jogging on the trail. In fact, he and I used to do that together…so given he may go to my trainer’s in a few weeks, I would like to maybe get him out for a walk, jog, hike (we live in a very hilly location) several times a week! I think this would help me accomplish a couple of things. I just LOVE being with my horses and this horse is very special. (He is in a video with Daniel and he was featured in Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover’s Soul Volume 2.) I am so eager to have special one on one time with him. I could do that while helping him through some of his fears at being away from his herd buddies…and be active at the same time! It sounds wonderful! So…maybe I need to brainstorm things I enjoy doing that don’t feel like my old compulsive workout days…
1. Taking Dodger for walks
2. Dance Praise
3. I MISS ROLLER BLADING! I need to find a place where I can roller blade! Where we live we can’t do that. Bummer! Maybe I could out at the Omstead (where I often go to ride…they have a fire road that might work for blading on…)
4. Taking the dogs running…I used to train for marathons with my dog Samson…I haven’t wanted to start running where we live now, though. This is home of the 100 miler runs that some of my friends do…I am not kidding! And *I* thought training for a *marathon* was obsessive! LOL!
5. Mountain biking is something else that TONS of people do in this area. I would LOVE to do that, but I know I need to be fitter to manage getting UP the hills!
6. Kayaking. I live in river country…gives me something to consider! These things sound like fun!
Well, I am already out of ideas! Maybe God will show me as I just get started doing something fun…maybe one thing will lead to another.
Lord, you know that I want to have a temple (my body) that is in the best condition it possibly can be in (reasonably, Lord) for service to you. I want to be able to be fit enough not to worry about climbing any of the hills around here. I want to be able to have more energy and to know that I am doing my best to be in the best condition reasonably possible that I might serve you more effectively. You know that I fear returning to obsession. Please help me to remember that perfect love casts out fear. You are perfect love, Lord. If I rest in your love, I need not fear. I want YOU to be my guide and not to allow fear to be my guide…yet another idol in my life. Please be King in this and show me the way. Keep me from slothfulness, lethargy, laziness. Thank you for Dodger. I pray that he and I might bond as we go out on special walks together…Make it possible, Lord! In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.