The Heart of My Rebellion: EXPOSED


Image Source: iStockPhoto
Don’tcha Just Love a Happy Eater? 🙂

The pig has nothing to do with this blog post except he made me smile. 🙂

Which is saying something. You see…I am in the middle of a tantrum.

I know. I am not supposed to have those, right?

Well, I am. So there.

Why, you may wonder? Why am I pitching a major fit? Melting down? Having a conniption?

The answer–if anything I ever teach is true–is probably wrapped up in something ridiculous like “I believe a LIE” or a whole BOATLOAD of lies. Truly, the heart of rebellion often is found in the littlest seed of a lie that was coddled, nurtured and given a chance to grow and take over.

I hate even typing those words right now because I guess that next to that little seed of a lie (lies) is the fact that I WANT to get strength from my anger, frustration…I want to OVERINDULGE in resentment and bitterness.

You see, God seems to be saying NO to me so often about all manner of things…BIG things…things that I thought were his will for my life… In fact, things that I could make a great case from God’s Word about! I wouldn’t have to take anything out of context!

And since HE is saying NO to me in BIG ways, I just don’t want to say no to me.

So, if I want to make myself feel better by eating, I don’t want to say NO to me about it.

If I want to eat “just because,” then that is a good enough reason for me as far as I am concerned.

I sure hope you can’t relate.

Dismantling The Lies

1. Buried in my attitude is the belief that life should be peaceful, predictable, and go the way I think it should go.

2. Buried in my attitude is a judgment of God–I have found him wanting. (Really?

3. Buried in my attitude is short-sighted idiocy if I think that there will be no consequences to making choices about my eating ignoring God-given boundaries.

4. Buried in my attitude is a belief that eating whatever I want whenever I want will somehow offset my disappointment about other things in my life…that eating will make me happy in proportion to the heartache and frustration I feel. Or that eating that way will “get God back” or “change his mind.”

What Now?

This summer we have been studying recognizing the lies we believe and replacing them with truth.

So, let’s do look at the lies, replace them with truth, and see if we can come out the other side and call it a VICTORY.

1. The truth is that life isn’t peaceful, predictable and it often won’t go the way I think it should go. I believe this is why the bible tells me again and again things like “Set your minds on things above where Christ is seated…when Christ, who is your life, appears, you will also appear with him in glory,” “fix your eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal,” “these light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all,”  fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of your faith who, for the joy set before him, endured the cross and scorned its shame.” All of these things tell me that if I focus on what I see–the heartache and pain and my interpretation of God’s Divine “NO!”–I am missing it. What is unseen is something far greater than unrestrained gluttonous indulgence in favorite foods could ever give me and far outweighs the challenges I face.

Is this true for you, too?

2. Who am I to judge God? Do I really want to “go there?” His ways are NOT my ways and while I still don’t understand how what is happening could possibly be his will, it apparently is. He has ordained it for his purposes. Maybe, as much as I don’t like it, it’s like John Piper says:  God so values our wholehearted faith that he will, graciously, take away everything else in the world that we might be tempted to rely on — even life itself. His aim is that we grow deeper and stronger in our confidence that he himself will be all we need.

Is this true for you, too?

3. My choices to eat outside of boundaries God has set for me have plenty of repercussions! I have been in that place before…where I kept on eating…I got physically unhealthier, loathed myself, was emotionally and spiritually numb (which isn’t a good thing, even though being emotionally numb may sound appealing right now). It is time to STOP IT THIS INSTANT!!!

Is this true for you, too?

4. The truth is eating whatever I want whenever I want will NOT offset my disappointment about other things in my life… eating will NOT make me happy in proportion to the heartache and frustration I feel. Not only that, but the situation that causes me such horrible disappointment, grief, frustration and heartache WILL NOT CHANGE FOR THE BETTER and I will go through it not being present to God and what HE wants to accomplish in me. It will be doubly AWFUL (if that is possible).

Is this true for you, too?

Do you have anything you are facing that is causing you to be frustrated, angry, to have a temper tantrum with God over your eating? What lies are at the heart of this? What truths ca you replace the lies with?

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15 Responses to The Heart of My Rebellion: EXPOSED

  1. Barb Raveling (@barbraveling) July 31, 2013 at 9:46 am #

    I can relate, Heidi – how I would like life to be smooth, non-stop peaceful, and stress-free! Sometimes I get tired of fighting my flesh. Today is one of those days. I’ll be praying for you!

    • Heidi Bylsma July 31, 2013 at 11:54 am #

      Thanks, Barb. And I for you. I will be replying to email. I am so far behind. SO sorry about that!

  2. Kim Bass Finley July 31, 2013 at 10:42 am #

    Do you have anything you are facing that is causing you to be frustrated, angry, to have a temper tantrum with God over your eating? Having an overwhelming since of being out of control or chaos could be causing me to have a temper tantrum or resist God in my eating. What lies are at the heart of this? That I need to eat to numb myself and figure it all out because if I am not numb, then I won’t be able to handle it. What truths can you replace the lies with? God is holding me in HIS Victorious Right Hand and is in control, He is my Helper and I can trust Him. I can let go, it will be okay!

    • Heidi Bylsma July 31, 2013 at 11:54 am #

      Yes, Kim. A very specific something. I love the way you processed overwhelm. GREAT JOB! I am sure others can be encouraged from reading what you have posted! Thanks!

  3. sara July 31, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    I love the pig picture, but unfortunately, the pig reminds me of myself after I have refused to say no to my flesh!!! I like the full feeling – it’s so comforting and sometimes I absolutely refuse to say no when I have something in mind that I want to eat! I can definitely relate to this post! I’m printing off this post and Kim’s response – she definitely gives me something to think about –

    • Heidi Bylsma July 31, 2013 at 3:10 pm #

      LOL, Sue! I hear ya! I think the full feeling is one we eventually get increasingly uncomfortable with. We have become desensitized to the feeling of discomfort. The more we respect our body by not pushing it that far, the more likely, I believe, we are to feel uncomfortable with full. I think we have to be intentional about training ourselves to NOT like the feeling. I don’t know if that makes sense.

  4. sudebaker July 31, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

    Oh Heidi! God has even better things for you. I know some of what you’re feeling, though certainly not all. It all comes back to trust, doesn’t it. Sigh. But I know you – a little! – and you will make the right choice. You remember how awful you feel when you overeat, both physically and emotionally. I often wish life went on like a peaceful river…but when it does, I get bored! Embracing pruning and change is hard but valuable. You got this, and Jesus has you 🙂

    • Heidi Bylsma July 31, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

      Yes. Trust is a big piece of it. HUGE. The eating part is the easy part about this. It’s the response to the trial that isn’t so easy! Dying to self. Dying to self. Dying to self. I think I am tired of dying. Thanks for the river analogy. I was speaking to a friend of mine (who I met while we were working for a river rafting company, in fact) about the image of the peaceful river…just yesterday! LOL!

  5. Becky McGeorge July 31, 2013 at 6:46 pm #

    Heidi, I am right where you were when you wrote this and when I read “Stop this instant!!!”, I breathed a sigh and thanked you for stopping me. I don’t even know what feelings I have been avoiding, but I have been frantically eating whatever I can to keep me from feeling them. I have avoided your blog, Barb’s bible study, and donut app , because i didn’t want to stop. I am glad I changed my mind and sat down to read today’s post because I just needed to be told to stop, so I stopped, and now I will ask the Lord to forgive me for putting another god before him. He hears that a lot, but he just keeps on forgiving – seventy times seven.
    Thank you Heidi for sharing your struggles and for caring about us.

    • Heidi Bylsma August 1, 2013 at 6:06 am #

      Hi, Becky. I am SO glad that God caused you to come across those words when He did! We need a “survival kit” for those times when we aren’t willing…for when we harden our hearts to doing the right thing! Hugs, Becky!

      • Becky McGeorge August 1, 2013 at 8:37 am #

        It was the pig that drew me in . . . so compelling.

  6. Kat July 31, 2013 at 7:45 pm #

    I definitely related to # 3 and #4 today. I had a scare that I couldn’t fix or know the outcome today, and I do believe I thought eating was the only answer to my panicked brain. So the truth for me is when I eat outside of my boundaries, there will be consequences that l will regret it. Also future hope of repentance is no excuse for using food as my idol in the present. God loves me, but He is a jealous God who will not allow any other gods before Him. He’s powerful and wonderful so how could I ever think of “getting Him back?” I’ve got a lot of praying to do. Thank you f or today’s blog Heidi.

    • Heidi Bylsma August 1, 2013 at 6:06 am #

      Kat…great reminders. Thank you so much for sharing the TRUTH that combats the lie.

  7. Barbi July 31, 2013 at 9:16 pm #

    Well..I have been there just last week..What turned me around was reading your blog on 7/25 and 7/30…I set up boundaries, started my Truth Cards, and have been looking up and reading and writing scripture dealing with eating, food and temptation..It has helped me tremendously…I also started Barb’s Bible study..
    I certainly understand the pull you are getting to go outside your boundaries…I understand that you are in the mode that you may think you deserve a break from it all..That is where I was..I was tired of making the sacrifices needed to “stay on plan”….I am praying for you, friend…Thanks for sharing your struggles..It helps others to read your thoughts..Luv N Hugs….Barbi /

    • Heidi Bylsma August 1, 2013 at 6:08 am #

      Hi, Barbi. I am so glad that the blog helped. You really took action, Barbi. YAY for you. I think that is what makes the difference. For me, I have to DO something with my “good intentions.” I have to take action. The best action I can take is to start with what I am telling myself. If I am telling myself “poor me,” I am heading down the wrong road at the get-go! YOu didn’t do that, Barbi. You decided to head down the road that takes God at His Word! YAY!

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