Every now and then, God blesses me with a tiny reassurance–and sometimes, not so tiny–that He has done a mighty work…and continues to do a big work in me. This can often happen when I am beside myself with disappointment in myself…like what I have shared here in recent days…
I found an old journal when I was going through some stuff in our “storage room”…lots of them really. But one in particular God used to send his encouraging reassurance through my heart and soul.
I know that a picture paints a thousand words, so I have scanned the journal. This is from about 13 years ago…that season that my husband calls my “bulimic” period…when I would work out all the more to make up for calories I had ingested. I lived in FEAR! I am so thankful that I am not in this place any longer. I am definitely free. We still have to work out a bit what “freedom” will look like, but wow…God has really done a HUGE work.
If you want to see the image close up, please click on it. Then you will be able to read it, I think. It is pretty scribbly, though…and this is one of the neater pages!
This was from when I was doing “The Zone.” I counted grams of fat, grams of protein, grams of carbohydrate, included total calories and I even did ratios to be sure I had the “right” proportions of each with each meal…sometimes I didn’t…and this appears to be a page from a couple of days when I wasn’t quite on…LOL!
Thank you, Lord, that you have been at work changing me from the inside out. I know that you continue to do so. I cling to you. I refuse to give up. NO MATTER WHAT.
What a WONDERFUL reminder of how far you’ve truly come! What bondage that represents!Now you get to savor your freedom. Woo Hoo!!
What a WONDERFUL reminder of how far you’ve truly come! What bondage that represents!Now you get to savor your freedom. Woo Hoo!!
I’m sooo glad you found that old journal, which showed how far you’ve come. Whenever I feel disappointed about my progress, I pull out old calendars, where I tracked my binge/purge episodes.10 years ago I had 44 episodes, but I also had the longest abstinence period (24 weeks) during those 10 years. During the year I did WD and later joined TW I decreased those episodes by more than 50%. During 2006 when I was diagnosed with more food allergies and treated for gastrointestinal problems, I had the least number of b/p episodes … until this year when I’ve only binged 3x in 5 months. Not perfect, but great progress! By God’s grace we WILL eliminate disordered eating habits.SUE
I’m sooo glad you found that old journal, which showed how far you’ve come. Whenever I feel disappointed about my progress, I pull out old calendars, where I tracked my binge/purge episodes.10 years ago I had 44 episodes, but I also had the longest abstinence period (24 weeks) during those 10 years. During the year I did WD and later joined TW I decreased those episodes by more than 50%. During 2006 when I was diagnosed with more food allergies and treated for gastrointestinal problems, I had the least number of b/p episodes … until this year when I’ve only binged 3x in 5 months. Not perfect, but great progress! By God’s grace we WILL eliminate disordered eating habits.SUE
I just noticed at the top of your journal page that you wrote “Geneen Roth Appetites”. Did you read that book? I enjoyed what she wrote in ‘Appetites’, especially because she described following an anti Candida diet. I also endured that diet for 3 weeks until my naturopath discovered I really had a bad Klebsiella bacteria, NOT Candida. LOLSUE
I just noticed at the top of your journal page that you wrote “Geneen Roth Appetites”. Did you read that book? I enjoyed what she wrote in ‘Appetites’, especially because she described following an anti Candida diet. I also endured that diet for 3 weeks until my naturopath discovered I really had a bad Klebsiella bacteria, NOT Candida. LOLSUE