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What Must Die for Me to See Him?


In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. – Isaiah 6:1


Sometimes I wonder if something in me has to die before I can really see the Lord as He is.

When I make God too small in my eyes, He is easily eclipsed by my obsessions. When that happens, He seems remote, uncaring, and impersonal. He isn’t even on my radar screen.

For instance, when I insist that I should be a size 12, every pair of 14s I have to put on, chafes against something inside of me. I am resentful. To get to my self-imposed “goal,” I ignore the hunger signals that God has ordained, hardening my heart to His presence and tenderness. The truth is, when I am hungry, I should eat to fuel my body! I don’t want to refuse to eat for the sake of a pair of pants. I have to let go of my image of the “perfect” body.

What if God wants my vision for my body to die? What if the size I think I should be isn’t at all what God is after in this journey? What if God makes it clear that he calls me to never again get on another bathroom scale? Am I willing to let go of these things? What if he has something else in store? Something grander?

In fact, what if my entire struggle with food, eating and my self-image all my life isn’t about my body or food at all? What if it is about pressing on to knowing Him better? What if He wants to show me a vision of Himself, “high and exalted?”

Lord, please help me to let go of anything that keeps me from seeing you in your Heavenly glory. I choose to release my hold on anything to which I cling too tightly, anything that keeps me from lifting my eyes, my heart, my hands to you in honest, complete surrender. Lord, I want to see you and to allow you to remake me from the inside out. Take my dreams and my hopes. I refuse to let my dream of being a certain size cause me to harden my heart to your leading. As I let go, dear Father, give life to what remains. I know this is a marvelous trade!

Point to Ponder: When something in me dies, God gives birth to something much better.

For Further Study and Prayer:

1.) Read John 12:23-32. From this passage, what are some things that died? What came in their place?

2.) Is there something in you that needs to die in order for God to have His way with you? If so, what might it be? How do you feel about this?