“Size matters not” as one famous Jedi once correctly said….There may not be much godly wisdom that comes from the 3 foot tall (or is he shorter than that?) sage of Star Wars infamy, but he is definitely right about this. I think to a large degree, this is God’s own wisdom!
Can I just GET IT THROUGH MY HEAD? 🙂
If life is about my body and my size and weight, then I have failed big time since October 2008.
Oh yes, indeed! In fact, what better description of “failure” can there be in this world than to finally, after years of struggling with losing weight, gaining it, losing weight, gaining it, writing about it all and the deeper work God wants to do, losing weight, gaining it some more, writing about it some more, then finally losing it…and keeping it off (!!!), “arriving” and “camping there,” earnestly striving to encourage others….only to gain weight back!?!?!?
The enemy has had a hey day with me over this…and, as you know if you have followed this blog at all, “FAILURE” has been a label I have tried to dodge–on some days better than others. Some days I have just let the label roll over me like a Mack truck.
..but the truth of the matter is, God has allowed this to happen in my life so that I could catch sight of much greater truths no matter what size I am! Size 12 or size 14…it makes no matter. SIZE MATTERS NOT!
The reality is…this doesn’t have to BE the “failure” I have made it out to be. In fact, I think God has something to say about this:
33 He turned rivers into a desert,
flowing springs into thirsty ground,
34 and fruitful land into a salt waste,
because of the wickedness of those who lived there.
35 He turned the desert into pools of water
and the parched ground into flowing springs;
36 there he brought the hungry to live,
and they founded a city where they could settle.
– Psalm 107:33-36
Has your fruitful land become a salt waste? Maybe God is trying to get your attention to teach you a tremendously important lesson: that success or failure is not the basis of your self-worth. Maybe the only way you can learn this lesson is by experiencing the pain of failure. In His great love, God leads us through experiences that are difficult but essential to our growth and development. The Search for Significance, pages 40-41
My rivers and flowing springs…my “fruitful land” if you will…has been turned into desert and thirsty ground. My “success” has been turned to “failure,” for the sake of a greater work he is doing. What relief there is in rolling with this! No, it doesn’t mean I throw in the towel on maintaining godly boundaries! Not at all! It means, I am discovering my natural God-given size (as opposed to my unnatural caffeine-given size), but more– I am discovering a “supernatural, God-given character change!” It is worth it! OH! It is worth it! All of this baggage I have carried for so long is being exposed by this…by this! It is amazing that He can do this.
In exposing it, it is being dismantled…”unpacked” as it were. I am not carrying it into each and every situation. All because I gained a few pounds! I love it! Truly I do.
I am ok with it.
And now, I have bought new Levis. 🙂
Size matters not!