Such A Busy Day

It was going to be an incredibly busy day.  I jumped out of bed after hitting the snooze button a couple of times, groggy and half asleep.  It had been a late night for me what with helping Katherine finish up her history project, reading just one more story with Madeline, filling out an orchestra permission slip for Christopher and cleaning up a huge kitchen mess.  Then I had to gather materials for my first and third grade groups, and yes – Grandma Lois needed her laundry folded and put away – she had called me from the top of the stairs, asking for her favorite pajamas.  My husband had been exhausted from a long day at work and an evening of working through finances with his mother.  It was hard to imagine a more overwhelming season of life as my head hit the pillow.

snowy window

I showered and dressed for work in the pitch dark and ice cold of the winter and I was grateful for a few quiet minutes alone.  I sat down with my journal and started to pray.  Lord . . . how will I be able to get it all done today?  I am so tired, there is so much to do, so much to take care of right now.  I am so inadequate, so insecure, so unequipped.  I need you!!!  I had hoped for a song to pop into my head, or a Bible verse to jump out at me, or a voice to speak in my mind, but all was quiet.  The room was as still as can be . . . I only heard the tick, tick, ticking of the clock.  It was good to be still for just a moment.  I knew what I had to do, what I had committed to do as many times as I could squeeze it in during my crazy, busy day.  I needed to renew my mind in Christ.  In the most quiet, patient, loving way I felt Jesus beckon me to come to Him and fill my mind with His truth.

I showered and dressed for work in the pitch dark and ice cold of the winter and I was grateful for a few quiet minutes alone.  I sat down with my journal and started to pray.  Lord . . . how will I be able to get it all done today?  I am so tired, there is so much to do, so much to take care of right now.  I am so inadequate, so insecure, so unequipped.  I need you!!!  I had hoped for a song to pop into my head, or a Bible verse to jump out at me, or a voice to speak in my mind, but all was quiet.  The room was as still as can be . . . I only heard the tick, tick, ticking of the clock.  It was good to be still for just a moment.  I knew what I had to do, what I had committed to do as many times as I could squeeze it in during my crazy, busy day.  I needed to renew my mind in Christ.  In the most quiet, patient, loving way I felt Jesus beckon me to come to Him and fill my mind with His truth.

I had been entrenched in emotional eating my entire adult life.  I had popped chocolate chips like pills, snuck through drive thrus on the way to a destination, eaten bowls of ice cream late at night, baked cookies for the neighbors so that I could eat half of the dough in the bowl, and eaten chips and salsa until I had to unbutton my pants . . . I had been a seasoned emotional eater for at least 30 years, and no one knew it.  After having my third child almost 9 years ago and weighing more than I had ever weighed I remember thinking, well now at least I have the excuse of being in my late 30’s and having been pregnant three times!  I told everyone, myself included, that I had tried everything there was to try – every diet, every type of exercise, every book to work through, every weight loss group – and I just couldn’t get the weight off no matter what.  This was the thorn in my side that I would just have to deal with for the rest of my life, I thought.  I remember desperately looking through the photo albums in my mom’s cabinet, hoping to find that all of the women on my side of the family were overweight.  They were, and I was able to tell myself that this was a matter of genetics and there was nothing I could do.

So, back to the cold, winter morning!  As I resolved to renew my mind I looked out the window and noticed that tiny, shimmering snowflakes were falling from the sky.  It was a magical moment, and I felt God’s touch on my heart.  Just a few weeks before, in my desperation, utter frustration with myself and despair I had decided to give the principles of Thin Within a try one more time.  I had been almost ready to give up . . . but not quite.   Something was different this time.  At first I was able to follow my boundaries just minutes at a time, then several hours at a time, and now I was completely surprised to find that I could even go a half a day without breaking my boundaries.  Dinner time was a huge challenge for me.  I would begin preparing dinner with slight hunger, nibble during the preparation, sit down to dinner not really hungry at all and then eat a regular size meal to end up way past full.  Some days I would stuff in dessert after that because after all, I had already messed the whole thing up, right?  But things were changing . . . yes, something was really different this time.

God's truth

I had a short praise fest with God, read through some truth cards and surrendered my crazy, busy day to the Lord.    Then I spent about a minute going through my day in my mind and preparing myself for the challenges with eating ahead.  Should I stop and get a mocha on the way to work?  I’m not hungry at all for breakfast this morning, should I take something along with me and eat it during recess?  What if my favorite donuts are in the lounge today?  I will be having a celebration party with my Kindergarten group today, will I be hungry when I pass out the graham crackers and grapes?  There will undoubtedly be chocolates passed around during the staff meeting after school, what should I do about that?  When I get home after school the kids will be hungry as always for snacks.  Should I join them?  What if I am not hungry?  What will I be making for dinner tonight?  What if I don’t nibble before dinner, then have an extra small portion of spaghetti and save room for a couple of oreos to eat with the family?

I walked through my busy day intentionally interacting with His truth for me, and thanking Him whenever I had the chance . . . at my desk in the morning while preparing materials, in the bathroom during recess, in the hallway on the way to pick up my next group, on my way home from picking up my middle schoolers in the car.  This wasn’t easy!  It was hard work to focus on God’s truth for me all day long, and I really did not have the time.  But it was GOOD work.  It felt good, and right, and before I knew it hours and hours were going by in which I had stuck to my boundaries.  Wow!

So, what is different this time?  My focus!  I have completely changed my focus and for the first time in my life, and all of the things I have tried to change my heart in this thorn in my side of emotional eating – something really IS different.  My heart is changing and I am so grateful.  I am deliberately, systematically, relentlessly, creatively finding the time to renew my mind with God’s truth so often during each day that I am finally starting to crowd out the lies and untruths that have held me back and paralyzed me in this area of my life for so long.  What is true for me right now, Lord, in this very situation?  God will show you if you ask.  He will show you in the most loving, understanding, gentle way, and then He will wink at you, or smile at you, or wrap His arms around you and remind you how much He loves you.  These are some of the most precious moments I have ever had with my Savior, and I wouldn’t trade them for all the baked potatos, oreo cookies and chicken sandwiches in the world!

I sang “Jesus Loves You” to my youngest daughter in the darkness of the night and kissed her goodnight.  She was the last one, the other two were already asleep and my husband was snoring, book in hand.  In my exhaustion I made lunches for the next day, finished up the dishes, called in a prescription for my mother in law, put Madeline’s homework in her backpack, threw in a load of laundry, paid a few bills and collapsed on the couch.  I closed my eyes and took a minute to think about the day.  Lord, Lord!  I made it!  I had a couple of missteps with my boundaries, but overall I surrendered my food to you today and held it with open hands.  A lovely feeling of victory surged through my body and I smiled for a whole minute.  I invited Jesus to sit down with me on the couch and we enjoyed the moment together.  It had started to snow again and there was a chill in the air.  But my Savior was warming me with His presence, and it was the best feeling in the world.

sunflower verse

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you  will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Phillipians 1:6

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.  All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”  1 Corinthians 6:12

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Romans 12:a

What about you?  Do you often feel that you are too busy to do the work of renewing your mind?  Have you tried preparing for your day by thinking through how you might eat in certain situations?  What might happen if you renew your mind with God’s amazing truth several times a day?  I challenge you to try it . . . “taste” and see that God is good!!!

2 Responses to Such A Busy Day

  1. Joy August 9, 2014 at 7:19 pm #

    Hi Christina,
    Thank you so much for sharing. I can really relate to so many things you mentioned. Eating chocolate, making cookie dough for the “neighbors”, picking at dinner (while making it) and not being hungry to actually eat dinner ect…
    I really liked what you had to say “My heart is changing and I am so grateful. I am deliberately, systematically, relentlessly, creatively finding the time to renew my mind with God’s truth so often during each day that I am finally starting to crowd out the lies and untruths that have held me back and paralyzed me in this area of my life for so long.”
    It seems like some of my excuses are being too busy or feeling too busy to have the time to renew my mind, but I can get creative and I can renew my mind no matter how busy I am. Also, I notice that when I’m super busy or emotional I “feel” less like taking the time to renew my mind, but that’s when I need to fight for it the most because I am more likely to eat.
    Thanks, Joy

  2. Christina August 10, 2014 at 1:52 pm #

    Hi Joy! Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It encourages me too to know that there is someone out there who understands me so well! I totally “get” what you mean when you say that business and being emotional pulls you in the opposite direction of renewing your mind, and I have been there for years and years. I am so thankful for God’s truth that says I don’t have to be stuck in that disasterous pattern forever, and that God can change our hearts with grace, not expecting us to be perfect, ever! I am praying for you now Joy, that God would surprise you with His love and truth all day long in the most unexpected and delightful places! 🙂

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