It seems like I spend a lot of my life waiting on things to fall into place; waiting on that magic moment where I find perfection. Whether it’s in my job, my relationships, or in my actions, I feel like there should be a moment where things just “click” and start running smoothly. Or I used to think that way, anyway.
When I first started my Thin Within journey I fully expected to “someday” find that magic moment in eating 0-5. I hoped it would happen quickly, but figured it might take a while. I was ok with that, knowing it gave me something to work towards and look forward to.
I assumed as the weeks went on I would get better and better at eating within my boundaries, until eventually it would all fall into place and become natural. I would stop “messing up” and would get to my natural weight. I would no longer have a problem with food. Eating 0-5 would become second nature.
After weeks of two steps forward, one step back and experiencing victory only to turn around and find failure staring me in the face, I see things a little differently. I realize that it does get easier in some ways; I get better at it with practice, but it will always be a battle. Why? Because Satan hates me honoring God in my eating, he hates me finding victory, and he will never give up on the battle to win me over to fleshly living. If anything the battle will intensify.
It’s not really fun to think about those things. Nobody wants to suffer. But we have to count the cost. I have counted the cost and I realized that the suffering is worth it. It’s only my flesh suffering anyway, and when my flesh suffers my spirit soars! I’m finding that I’m actually thankful for the battle. I’m drawing near to God, and if this battle is what keeps me trusting in Him, it’s worth it. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10b
I no longer desire that magic moment. In fact I hope it doesn’t come! That magic moment parades itself as victory, but is really pride. It’s the moment you think: “I’ve got this” and whether you realize it or not, at the same time your heart is saying “Thanks God, Your work here is done.” It’s the moment you stop clinging to God because you just can’t do it without Him.
On the one hand, it would be nice to not feel helpless. But at what cost? At the cost of abiding in Him? No thanks. This is just another of Satan’s tactics to win the battle. If He can get us to think we don’t need God, if he can fill our hearts with that lie, then we never find abundant living.
True victory is in the moments when I see God’s grace working in my life, the moments where I stay within 0-5, the moments where I choose God over food. Those moments don’t come because I’m strong enough or because I’ve got a handle on things. They come because of the strength God provides, because my eyes are fixed on Him. When we have those moments, recognize that they are because of Him, and praise Him for them, those are magic moments much better than moments with a false sense of security.
There are other magic moments too. When I have moments of failure I have to renew my mind with scriptures like Romans 8:1, remembering that there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Also Titus 2:11-14, remembering God sees me as perfect and gives me His grace to live the Spirit-filled life. When those moments of failure become moments of observation and correction, when they become learning and growing experiences, those are also magic moments.
To live in faith (Hebrews 11:6) run the race (Hebrews 12:1-3) find transformation through the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2) and press on to the end (Philippians 3:10-12) are more moments that are truly magical. All those things can only be done by the grace of God. His grace is truly miraculous, much more so than a wee little human thinking they can do things on their own. How thankful I am that God has taught me this BIG lesson (among many others) through Thin Within!
What about you?
Do you find yourself wishing for the magic moment where you no longer feel helpless, but feel like you’ve got your eating under control?
Why might that moment have a negative impact on your life?
What are some God-honoring magic moments you’ve experienced?
Would you rather suffer so your relationship with God can be protected? Is it worth it to you?
Kelsa Turner lives in the Great Smoky Mountains with her husband Luke and her black lab Roscoe. She enjoys the freedom of being self-employed to be able to work, serve, and spend time studying Thin Within and growing in her relationship with God. [Editor Note: Kelsa has agreed to teach an online Thin Within class for us! Be sure to visit this page to see what classes we are offering.]