by Heidi Bylsma | Nov 21, 2018 | Blog
By Guest Blogger: Brooke Espinoza
The year is full of holidays and special occasions – Super Bowl, Valentine’s Day, Easter, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s Eve. Plus there are baby and bridal showers, church potlucks, summer BBQ’s, family reunions, birthday parties, and eating out. There are always tons of goodies to eat and special drinks to enjoy.
We may already have challenges keeping our 0-5 eating boundaries when it’s not the holidays, but how can we keep our boundaries with all the delicious foods and drinks we look forward to enjoying during each special time of year?
Keeping our 0-5 boundaries during the holidays can be easier than we may think. Below are strategies – in answer to specific struggles and questions – that you can start applying today too keep seeing results throughout each holiday season throughout the year.
Let’s take a few struggles and questions one at a time…
Q: I’m not at zero yet but I want to eat! What can I do to stick to my boundaries and hold off eating until I’m hungry?
Often we may feel like giving in when the temptation entices us with some form of instant gratification, even though we’re not technically hungry yet. Temptations abound like:
- free samples
- cookie exchanges
- celebratory cakes and candies
- office donut day
- delicious leftovers that look so good
While no foods are off-limits, we may be tempted to eat favorite foods when our body isn’t telling yet us we’re hungry. Here are a few effective strategies:
- Distract yourself with a project you can make progress on until you get hungry.
- If you’re at home, see how many items on your to-do list you can complete before your body truly gets hungry.
- Do something fun you enjoy like watching a favorite show, taking a walk, playing a game with someone, reading an interesting book, running an errand, calling a friend to catch up
Use the above ideas to make a list of activities you can do – whether fun or on your to-do list – that you can get engaged in to get your mind off eating until your body says it’s time to eat.
Q: When I do get hungry, I feel super hungry! Then I end up bingeing and feel bad that I didn’t practice more self-control. How can I avoid this?
If you feel ravenously hungry when you’re finally able to eat, a stash of nuts on hand can diminish the intensity of your hunger signal, enabling you to eat calmly and consciously.
If mealtime is an hour or more away, eat a little something to tide you over until mealtime. Eat enough so you aren’t unbearably hungry, but not so much that you aren’t hungry for your meal (especially if you’re having dinner with friends or family at a certain time.)
The key is to listen to your body and not get overly hungry.
When my daughter was a toddler and was going through potty training, sometimes she’d run to the bathroom on the verge of peeing her pants. Thankfully she never had any accidents. I’d ask her, “How long has your body been saying you needed to go?” I explained to her that our bodies tell us when we need to go and will become more insistent the longer we ignore the signal that we need to go until we reach a point where we desperately have to rush to the bathroom. My husband and I always encouraged our potty-training daughter to listen to her body, because God made our bodies to tell us when we need to go.
For me, recognizing hunger is the same way. I listen to my body for a clear message that I need to stop what I’m doing and go eat. My zero is when my body has been nagging me to eat, until I no longer can ignore my body’s need to eat. Still at that point I’m not so hungry that I feel starving or ravenously hungry. I just know I definitely need to eat. I have a small bite to eat if my hunger becomes too intense before a planned mealtime with others. I enjoy eating meals with my family when it’s meal time, so I will curb how much I eat during the meal prior to make sure I’m hungry when our family mealtime comes.
Q: I started eating at a zero but I’m tempted to eat past a 5 because there’s still delicious food left to eat. (Or I’m having a rough day and deserve a yummy pick me up.)
Whatever tempts you to eat when not hungry or past contentment, there is hope!
I’m always comforted by 1 Corinthians 10:13:
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
I’m comforted that our struggles are not the exception, but they are totally common. God in His grace will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able with His help to overcome. God puts limits on our temptation, just as He tells the oceans waves how far they may come up on the beach.
I love that, with every temptation we face, God will faithfully provide a way of escape. Every. Single. Time. May God open our eyes to always clearly see that way of escape and help us to always choose to take it.
When I’m tempted to go outside my boundaries, I like to ask myself, “What’s at stake if I indulge in this food when I’m not truly hungry? What’s at stake if I start eating at zero but continue to eat when I’m already satisfied?” Those calories will get stored as fat, and it’ll take me longer to release my excess, unhealthy weight.
“What’s at stake if I eat my food way too fast?” I risk eating past a five because my stomach and brain need about 20 minutes to clearly communicate to me how satisfied I am.
“What’s at stake if I eat when distracted?” I risk not feeling satisfied after my meal because didn’t pay attention to it. So I’ll want to eat something else I’ll enjoy to make up for the meal that didn’t satisfy.
Considering what’s at stake helps me see my temptation as much less attractive.
Today, thank the Lord that each temptation you face has God-ordered limits so you will not be tempted beyond what you are able.
Moreover, with each temptation God will always provide a way of escape! Praise the Lord for the way of escape so we be able to bear our temptations. Ask God what way of escape He has provided just for you when temptation comes and be on the lookout for it.
In Christ we are more than conquerors! And God has provided all we need for life and godliness. Putting on the full armor of God, let us not fear temptations, but boldly trust the Lord to give us the victory in Christ! With God all things are possible!
As you look to the Lord and trust in Him, you will surely be blessed! See what God’s promised you in Jeremiah 17:7-8.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.”
Creating truth cards and truth journaling is a great way to combat temptations and stand firm in your boundaries.
Q: I eat at a zero and stop at a five, renew my mind, and have been doing the book study, but my weight still went up! How is this possible?
Since you’ve been diligent to wait for a zero and eat just enough to satiate your hunger, here are some strategies I use to reduce the quantity of food I eat, resulting in losing weight consistently:
- Try shrinking your portion by using a smaller bowl or plate for your meal. I do this and it has helped not only to consistently get my scale to go down, but enables me to be satisfied with my smaller portion because my small bowl looks full. I use my little dessert bowls for cereal, chili, ice cream, etc., and am plenty satisfied.
- Lengthen how long it takes to eat your meal. The faster we eat, the more we eat. Since it generally takes 20 minutes for your brain to say its time to stop eating, I like to take mini bites and chew til there’s nothing left to chew. See how long you can take to make your meal stretch. Heidi has said, “Take twice as long to eat half as much.” It’s a fabulous strategy to take the weight off!
- As mentioned above, packing snacks with you to take the edge off when you start to feel famished between meals will help prevent overeating at your next meal.
Q: How can I keep my boundaries with all the tempting holiday food that is around me?
If you have See’s chocolates or pumpkin spice muffins begging to be eaten, give yourself permission to eat them when you get hungry.
There are many times when I see something delicious, and I think, “I don’t want that just yet because I’m not hungry. But when I do get hungry, that is definitely what I plan to enjoy to satiate my hunger!”
When you’re not hungry, make a list of your favorite holiday foods and drinks you love to enjoy throughout the holidays. Then, plan to enjoy a favorite when you get hungry, working off your list.
You might pack a favorite food to enjoy when you eat lunch in the midst of running errands. Alternatively, you can wait intentionally to run errands until you are hungry, then drive thru and get your holiday favorite to enjoy when you take a break. Another option is to work in holiday favorites into your family’s meal plan for the week. By satisfying your hunger with a satisfying favorite, you’ll feel doubly blessed!
Q: How can I diligently keep my boundaries at a party or gathering of friends or family?
Since people typically gather at a specified time, make sure you eat light before it’s time to go to the get together. Eat light enough that you will feel hunger when it’s time to eat. Then you’ll be able to eat when everyone else does, yet you will not be breaking your boundaries by enjoying yummy foods with your favorite people. Rather than taking a whole scoop of each potluck food on your plate, you can use your plate to make up a little sampler platter so you’re able to enjoy the flavors of all that look appetizing to you, but without overdoing it.
If you love dessert like I do, you don’t have to go without. Simply serve yourself 2/3 the amount of what would satisfy your hunger, and then indulge in and savor a small portion of dessert. This way your hunger will be satisfied as well as your sweet tooth! Who says you can’t enjoy your favorite dessert while releasing weight?
Q: I’m so tempted to abandon my boundaries and start over after New Year’s Day.
Again, whenever I’m tempted I cling to and am encouraged by God’s promise to us in 1 Corinthians 10:13:
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
Since the Lord promises to provide a way of escape from each and every temptation, I look for the way out He is so faithful to provide.
While we are free in Christ, if we let go of our 0 to 5 eating boundaries, we will regret doing so after the holiday. God doesn’t want us to be gluttonous—especially as we celebrate His birth or His resurrection, or as we give thanks for all He has blessed us with. He wants us to enjoy our food, but with self-control. Thin Within 0-5 eating and renewing our mind are wonderful in helping us release unhealthy, extra weight and help us to naturally get down to our God-given size.
Take the deprivation out of staying within boundaries by changing your mindset about how you think about your boundaries
How we word any boundaries we set for our eating can make or break our ability to stick with them. If I say “I can’t eat anything after 8:00pm” I will feel deprived, restricted, and like I have no choice in the matter. However, the rebel in me is less likely to rear up if I say, “I’m free to eat past 8:00pm, but I choose not to because my body already had enough to eat earlier at dinner time.”
Boundaries are actually freeing!
When you think of boundaries, what comes to mind? Restriction? Denial?
I see my Thin Within boundaries like I see guard rails on the road where there’s a sheer drop-off just on the other side of the guard rail! They are put in place, and are there for my safety and to guide me in the way I should go.
I don’t trust in my boundaries; I trust in the Lord. I thank Him for my boundaries because of how He uses them in my life to protect me from overeating and guide me in eating what I love, without overindulging.
Until just a few months ago, I looked at boundaries as being depriving and restricting. Now I recognize them as being freeing! I am not free to eat whatever my heart desires when I am hungry.
- I’m free to stop eating when I’ve eaten enough to soothe my hunger, so I don’t have to feel heavy and overly full after a meal.
- I’m free to shed my excess weight, almost effortlessly, without counting, tracking, weighing, and measuring everything I eat.
- I am free to eat when I’m hungry.
- I don’t have to deny myself from eating when I’m hungry if I don’t have enough points or calories left for the day.
- I am free to eat from all food groups and continue to release weight without cutting carbs, sugar, etc.
I’m still excited about the weight I’ve lost, and all without depriving myself of my favorite foods and drinks. I love the way God is using gentle boundaries in m life to help me shed my excess weight. Thin Within works! Stick with it and you will be blessed!
Brooke Espinoza has found freedom from overeating through Thin Within, and she couldn’t be happier about it. She has been married to her husband almost 20 years and keeps busy homeschooling their daughter, caring for her family, blogging at Hemmed In By Love, and designing products for her Etsy shop, Joyful Life Printables.
by Heidi Bylsma | Mar 2, 2018 | Blog
Hi my name is Kay and I live in New Zealand. I found Thin Within in July last year (2017) ‘by accident’ when in desperation and crying out the Lord for deliverance and help He led me to Heidi’s TW videos. They were water to my thirsty soul! Since journeying with the Lord and learning TW principles, i.e. devouring the TW book and workbook, as well as the amazing website, I’ve found the freedom and joy I’ve always desired.
I’m 53 years old and have walked with the Lord since the ‘80s. I love Jesus and am so thankful for having a wonderful loving Heavenly Father who speaks to me daily through His Word. I have a long history (since age 14) of suffering with severe/persistent eating disorders (EDs) – anorexia and bulimia (non-vomiting but purging with exercise) for many years up unto recent times. My journey with the EDs (initially anorexia – severe food restriction, obsessive weighing and exercise) began in Fourth Form (age 14) when I began to develop and experience puberty. This triggered off a lot of painful emotions, deep shame and fear. I felt ashamed of my body’s changes and felt utterly betrayed by it. I wanted to hide it away and starve it back “into childhood”… so I did. I began to research diets in the American magazines in our library and became secretive about how much I ate, existing on a pathetic amount of food each day. I became dangerously thin as I carefully and obsessively calculated my food and calorie intake down to a very minimal level. Ironically, I was already thin, having been a very thin child and High School student. I definitely did not have a weight problem and did not need to diet.
But one careless remark during a lesson one day with our Gym Teacher (to the entire PE class) had triggered off the fear/shame and the ED obsession. She had simply said “Some of you girls need to diet and lose weight!” She was from Helsinki – attractive, fit and athletic – everything a self-conscious teenager admired; she was a past Olympic-class Gymnast who was also underweight and very body-conscious. Of course I now realise she was not at all talking to me – I was already thin, and to diet would have been unhelpful. However, due to my low self-esteem and because of my past history which I detail briefly next I was filled with self-hatred, rejection and self-loathing.
I’m a survivor (and overcomer in Christ) of severe abuse (physical/sexual) since the beginning of my life and but my clearest and earliest memories of the worst of the abuse were from the age of three. Our home was sadly one of pain and dysfunction. I’m so thankful that with the Lord’s help over the last 10 years I have processed (with professional assistance) the worst of this. It has been a long, and at times daily, journey of forgiving and blessing my offenders, and then releasing them into the Lord’s hands with His help and grace. Our Lord is so amazing. In light of His forgiveness of me, I can do as His Word commands me and that is to forgive those who have sinned against me. God promises me that His ways are the pathways of peace and life, and I have certainly found this to be true.
On my TW journey I have experienced the freedom from weighing (I no longer weigh myself at all – yay!), and I haven’t binged since July 2017 with the Lord’s help. I no longer count calories nor do I weigh and measure my food. My focus now is on “feasting on the Lord”, spending time with Him daily, praising and thanking Him for His goodness, and meditating on His Word. I certainly do not do the journey perfectly, and at times still struggle with 0-5 eating but I try to just “observe and correct” and move forward daily. After decades of starvation, I find it hard to find “0” at times, and also find it painful/challenging to stop at “5” because of the fear of deprivation which has long been entrenched in my mind. But God is amazing; He encourages me and is teaching me how to renew my mind daily with my truth cards, TW readings, watching/listening to TW resources, and participating in the TW Facebook groups. I’m so thankful for Thin Within and its wonderful resources and leaders; it has been such an integral part of my healing journey with Jesus!
Kay P lives in the lower North Island of New Zealand. She’s 53 years old, and lives with her hubby and their wee Bichon Frise dog called Ollie. She and her husband both love the Lord, enjoy walks and spending time in the great outdoors (in the bush). She describes herself as a fledgling writer…. and has begun writing her personal story in the form of an Autobiography. Kay is a qualified English Teacher and works for herself as a Freelance TESOL Teacher in NZ teaching English to children with learning disabilities and literacy challenges. She also works with adult immigrants. She and her husband are a childless couple but Kay has been privileged to work for the last decade with children which she really enjoys. Ollie-dog is her furry blessing from the Lord…
by Heidi Bylsma | Nov 1, 2017 | Blog
Actually, a better title might be: “No Man… but I have a Plan!”
During my second month of pregnancy, when I may have been feeling my worst, my husband announced he would be going to London on a two-week business trip. I was very concerned about being left alone with the two kids, work, housework, and in my first trimester of pregnancy. But most of all, I was concerned about being left to my own devices in the evenings… all alone…
Historically I would have used the evening times alone to “indulge” in over-eating, and late-night movie watching. But I know that inevitably, I wake up the next morning regretting staying up so late and regretting what I ate! So, I decided to use it as a re-framing opportunity. I wanted to think of an evening alone in a whole new light. I knew from experience that would take planning, accountability and a new way of thinking.
I started out with a favorite prayer pneumonic from John Piper. It’s “APTAT”:
- A – Admit that you can do nothing on your own.
- P – Pray for help
- T – Trust a Promise
- A – Act in response
- T – Thank him for helping you.
In the past, this little reminder has helped me calm my anxiety and refocus on God and his ability to influence me and my circumstances. So that’s what I prayed. And then I made a plan.
Truth Cards
My attitude about this whole situation was not great. I felt panicky and like I was being left out of the fun. So I wrote some truths about what this time really was about—or some of the potential benefits of this short season. Truths like,
“Thank you God for this more relaxed week to make memories with my children.”
“Jesus is my Perfect Companion. He never gives up on me, grows weary, stops loving me, or walks away.”
“God, you know I am not perfect. But you have said I have your resurrection power in me. You said your Divine Power has given me everything I need for life and godliness today.”
I reviewed these in the mornings usually. A quick way to get my mind right for the day.
Evening Mind Renewal
One of my goals was to renew my mind every evening after dinner and before I started watching TV or having any snacks. This was an Accountability Point for me (see below) and was very helpful. In fact, I got a big surprise! I discovered new things about myself! I discovered I love to go out on the porch after dinner. Listening to the night sounds and looking up at the moon and stars gave me a wonderful calm and new perspective for the evening.
I came to look forward to that time to just “be” with my Heavenly Husband. We enjoyed such satisfying moments together that TV didn’t even interest me some nights (!) This time of mind renewal looked different on different nights. It might be praise time, reviewing my Truth Cards or using Barb Raveling’s I Deserve A Donut App or my own Bible study.
Extra Boundaries for TLC
I also tried to listen to what the wisdom of God’s Spirit was nudging me to do to protect myself during a particularly vulnerable time. I decided it was best not to buy or bake any sweets/desserts during that time, since those are particularly difficult for me to resist, especially when I’m alone. I also knew that the later I stayed up, the weaker I became. I was more likely to make choices I’d regret later. Plus, I need my rest—after all, I’m growing a baby! So my other boundary was to be in my bed at 9:30 on weeknights and by 11 on weekends.
Accountability
I knew that on my own, I’d be less likely to finish strong. I tend to thrive with that extra boost of encouragement. So, I called up my friend Molly. We met in one of the Thin Within online Facebook groups and really hit it off. We periodically text or call so I knew she’d be willing to help. She was so kind to touch base with me daily and encourage me that we were doing those two weeks together. Even when I had a disastrous day, it really helped me to Observe and Correct, when I had to reflect back and report in about what had happened and the choices I had made.
God was so gracious during the time my husband was away. He answered prayers and gave me extra energy, grace, and patience with the kids. He kept everyone safe and gave me strength to survive fever and floods! He is so Good.
So whether you have a challenging weekend coming up or a new life situation that has you baffled…I pray these ideas will prove useful to you. I have to remember: the main thing is the Main Thing—Jesus! He’s the one who empowers me to walk wisely in the way he instructs me to go. Keeping my eyes focused on the Author and Perfector of our faith is what makes life full and satisfying, regardless of my outward circumstances.
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Emily lives in South Korea with her husband and 2.1 children. She enjoys being the token American in her neighborhood and baking for the Korean neighbors. She is grateful for the chance to lead worship in their small “expat church”. Like most mothers, she’s also good at multitasking–like cooking and putting on bandaids, rubbing four feet while reading two books and driving while chewing gum and talking on FaceTime with family back home.
Thanks, Emily!
If you are a pregnant mom, won’t you post here and let us know? We would love to have a little support community right here on the blog for you all who are hoping to navigate the waters of your pregnancy (and after) while applying the Thin Within principles. Not only does Thin Within “work” during pregnancy to minimize weight gain, but many women LOVE the way they feel when they do this! EVEN when pregnant!
~ Heidi
by Barb Shelton | Aug 30, 2017 | Blog
I’d been picking berries over a period of a few days, trying to gather enough to make a batch of blackberry freezer jam and a blackberry pie ~ that I had a tiny piece of on a tiny plate, of course!
And, in so picking, I noticed something interesting that I hadn’t given much thought to before: that the berries on a bunch all ripen at different times! Only one or two berries in any given bunch are ready to pick at any given moment.
For your farming education and berry-viewing pleasure, here’s a photo that I took of said berries, and then drew circles around each of the many bunches. (You may notice that a few of the bunches are lacking a dark, ripened berry ~ this is because I had already picked them off!)
This is similar to how I see myself as coming into “fruition” regarding growing in and applying principles of the Thin Within message! There are many areas ~ in Thin Within and in my life as well ~ that I’d like to be adept at all at once. Like immediately!!!
But, alas, I am a slow learner. And :::sigh::: some days go better ~ and some worse ~ than others.
Just when I think I have one area conquered, I fail miserably the next day, as if I’m starting from ground zero! UGH!!!!! I know I’m really not, but some days it just seems like it!
Getting specific
One cluster of berries represents several areas that I need and want to grow and become more mature and skilled in! Like what, you ask?
Well, like… waiting for zero… stopping at 5… which equals eating withing my 0 to 5 boundaries…
creating my truth cards… reviewing my truth cards… getting truths on my truth cards into my mind and heart…
drinking more water… being more faithful at renewing my mind… being more consistent at working in my workbooks…
eating more slowly… exercising 0–5… applying myself to conscious and undistracted eating…
running to Jesus instead of to food for comfort or help in decision-making…
truth journaling… letting go of the dieting mentality… learning to not beat myself up when I fail…
allowing God’s truth to replace lies… for that matter, learning to even recognize lies!!!
And these are not things that I feel bound to do; they are things that God will use to set me FREE, “if I don’t get discouraged (or distracted) and give up”!!!
In fact, since I am berry ~ I mean very visual, I went ahead and labeled most of the individual berries in the bunch in the photo above so that you could visualize exactly what I mean right along with me!
(The above varying berry stages are not exact representations of MY actual maturity in these areas!)
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could mature in all of the areas we want, all at the same time!?! But that’s not too likely given the fact that we are human, weak, and imperfect.
But, as long as we are on the Vine, and remain connected to Him, who is also the Vine Dresser, we will mature! And I assure you that it won’t be because of our own ability to hang on! It will be because of His life-giving, transforming grace that flows through the veins of our souls and nourishes, grows us up, and ripens us in the “wisdom and stature of the Lord”! In fact, He even helps us to hang on!
So as we “seek him first,” all these berries – I mean things – will be added unto us!
I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
Heavy on the “apart from Me you can do nothing” bit!!! And thinking I can when I’m on a good streak is part of the wrong thinking that needs to be renewed in my mind!
Since that verse is about grapes, I thought it would be appropriate to include a photo of grapes ~ which turned out to be prettier than the blackberries! Aren’t the variations in color as they ripen amazing?!?! (Wish I looked this pretty as I’m ripening!!!)
Let’s close by praying through that same verse:
Lord, You are the vine, and I am one of your branches. My heart’s desire is to remain in You, and for You to remain in me, so I ask You to help me do this, Lord! Help me allow You to transform the “home of my heart” into a place You are comfortable residing in.
I want to be a fruitful branch of Yours, and to produce much tasty fruit, but I know this is a byproduct of allowing You to live Your life in and through me! For, apart from You, Lord, I can do nothing! (As in ZIPPO… NADA… ZILCH!!!)
Thank You for choosing to dwell in my heart, Lord!!! … Aaaaaaamen!!!!
by Barb Shelton | Jun 17, 2017 | Blog
[Inspired by Terri Graham]
Am I the only one who finds it SOOOO hard to wait for a zero ~ “true hunger”? There are many things in my life that I do even though I don’t want to do them… like doing the laundry… dishes… going places when I’d rather stay home… I even shower, floss, wash my face, and make my bed when I’d really rather not!!!
And there are many things in the Thin Within world I do even if I can think of other things I’d rather be doing…
Having a phone chat with Heidi and Christina and our group? ~ I’d rather be napping at the 3:00 hour, but these chats are worth staying awake!!!!!!
Writing a blog post (which is like journaling for me)? ~ Lots of work, even drudgery at times, but a richly-rewarding process!!!
Making or reading through my Truth Cards? ~ Encouraging to read, fun to make!!!
Reading and commenting in the forums? ~ I love being encouraged and giving encouragement!!!
Adding to my God List? ~ A joy that helps shift my mood and my focus!!!
But waiting for zero? ~ UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO!!!!
.
There!!! I said it!!! I just reeeeeeeally DON’T. WANT. TO!!!!!!!!
In my favor, there have been lengthy seasons in which I have been able to shift into that dreaded-yet-coveted state of being able to eat within the 0-to-5 eating boundaries. But then [whatever in the world?!] happens, and the weight that I so diligently and joyfully lost, inches its way back onto my person! Annnnd :::sad exasperated sigh::: the favor dissipates.
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ENTER: TERRI!
In the midst of one of these downward detours in my forever-long struggle, one day I happened upon a post by Terri Graham in the Thin Within Discussion and Support group on Facebook. (At least I was searching and not just retreating into a dark corner, which is my tendency in such times.) And Terri graciously allowed me to share it here. She wrote:
I just finished the chapter titled “Holy Struggle” in the Hunger Within book. A question following the chapter asks:
“Do you view the principle of choosing to eat only when hungry and stopping before you are full as an ‘objectionable obligation’ or an ‘inviting opportunity’? If you don’t see this as an inviting opportunity, why not?”
I realized that I do indeed view it as an objectionable obligation. Why? Because it is hard and takes time and patience.
My food (and my right to eat it) is “mine” and I really have held onto it like a petulant child not wanting to give up her pacifier when it is time.
Today I confess this and I repent. I ask God to change my mind and my heart so that I will see it as an inviting opportunity. I need to renew my mind in this matter.
What about you? Why is this an obligation vs. opportunity? What are the truths you use to help you see it as inviting and as an opportunity?
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GETTING REAL
So, getting real with myself (not my favorite thing to do,) why do I see this as an “objectionable obligation” rather than an “inviting opportunity”?
It feels like an obligation because my “flesh man” – which wants what it wants, and wants it now – is being restrained and constrained. It’s not getting what it wants right this very second.
Terri’s reference to the “petulant child not wanting to give up her pacifier” rang embarrassingly true as that very thought had just recently crossed my mind.
Many times, in the heat of a battle of whether to eat when I’m not hungry or to go ahead and indulge and eat more than I need (beyond a 5), self-discipline is the last thing I’m interested in! The image of a baby not getting what it wants is a perfect depiction of ME! Well, lacking the baby-cuteness.
So I thought I’d explore that a bit, and asked my friends on Facebook for photos of babies and their pacifiers. I actually only wanted one photo ~ of a baby whose pacifier had just been removed ~ so they’d be angry ~ which would give me an in-my-face view of what I myself must look like to God when I’m not getting my way.
What I got was several pictures!!! And I realized that, together, they made up a darling, but a little-too-vivid composite picture of my own attitudes toward food. Since this is not the cutest thing to see in a grown woman (me), I will let these babies “say it all” for me! Cutely, which my attitudes aren’t, but these babies are!
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“I love my food. Totally contented with my food. See how contented I am?”
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“You’re not really going to ask me to give up my food, are you?”
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“But I wannnnnnnt it! I neeeeeeeeed it!!!”
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“Nooooo!!! Please let me have my food!”
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“I know! I’ll HIDE some so no one will know about it!!!”
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“You wouldn’t really take away something I cherish SO much, right?!?!”
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“I’m warning you; do NOT take away my food! Seriously ~ JUST. DO. NOT!!!”
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“Pleeeeeeease let me have it!!!!! I waaaannnt it!!!”
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“I CAN’T believe you TOOK it from me!!!!!!!!!”
(Thank you to the mommies of these little dolls ~ Shannon, Beth, Trieste, Maggie, Mandie, and Stacie, plus a grandma, Mary ~ for letting me use these precious photos!!! )
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BACK TO DISCIPLINE
Okay, that was a fun ~ even though too-familiar-feeling ~ detour. Back to discipline and my distaste for it…
I’m not off in disliking it. This verse in Matthew (11:28) says:
“For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant…”
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“Seems” painful?!?!? Feels pretty outright painful to ME!!! No “seeming” about it! But it’s in the Word, so it must be true. So I’ll come back to it in a moment.
Viewing “having to wait till I’m hungry to eat” as being an opportunity requires thinking beyond my current flesh-indulging state of mind and heart. However, it’s the only way that the rest of that verse can become reality, which is actually a pretty sweet reality:
“…but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
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And getting that peaceful fruit of righteousness is really the ultimate “opportunity,” isn’t it?!?!
So, once again, back to Jesus’ feet I go to confess this sin of self-focus and self-indulgence, and repent.
And I must remind myself (again) that repenting means I turn 180° and go ~ as in live and walk ~ the opposite direction! Not 360°! ~ a gaffé I’ve heard spoken by a well-meaning teacher! Which, if you think about it mathematically, actually means “coming full-circle,” right back around to the very state of sin we wanted to repent from.
Not exactly repentance, but it sounds sadly similar to what I have too often done. 😣 (The verse about a dog returning to its vomit comes to mind.😣)
I ask God to change my mind and heart so that I will see eating only when I am at a zero as the “inviting opportunity” that it truly is. My flesh man can’t see this because of its inherent trait of being blind.
Solution? My flesh man needs to DIE so that my spirit man can be free to grow and thrive, which will enable me to see things as God sees them. This is no small feat (specially in ME), yet I know it is nothing that God can’t handle. And it’s totally accessible via re-surrendering my will and then renewing my mind on an ongoing basis!!!
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HIS INVITATION
Back to the question of whether we see this as an “inviting opportunity.” I thought it would be fun to look into the word inviting a bit more deeply.
An invitation always bids the invitee to come to something. So what might that “something” be, specifically, if the Lord is the One doing the inviting?
Just for starters, here are three things I found in the Word that we are invited to:
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1) Come to the Lord’s own TABLE.
Jesus, the King of Kings, invites us to dine with Him and tells us in Psalm 23 that He prepares a spread for us! And I’m sure is not just scraps!
“You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Psalms 23:5)
(He’s not going to feed us flowers either; those are just the decorations!)
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2) Come to JESUS and find REST!
This journey through life can be full of heaviness, but the Lord doesn’t want us to carry the burdens by ourselves! He invites us to:
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)
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3) Come and TALK with Him!
The God of the universe actually wants to converse with us! And He has time for us!!!
“My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me, O my people.’ And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” (Psalms 27:8)
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What we get out of the deal by submitting to God’s discipline ~ which, for us Thin Withiners, is 0-5 eating ~ far outweighs, outshines, and overshadows any pain involved. This is why I believe it’s worded that “all discipline seems painful…” What’s truly painful is not accepting God’s loving invitation to embrace discipline and receive ALL that He has in store for us. Living with our self-indulgent heart day after day, month after month, and year after year is anything but pleasant!
Terri had a bit more to say:
“One of the baby pictures of a sleeping baby brought to mind, strangely or maybe not, the parable of the wise virgins. Does that food pacifier keep me from filling my lamp with oil? Does it dull my hunger for God? I think so. I need to make some truth cards for this.
Come, Lord Jesus, YOU are the answer to our every need!!! Help us GET this, HEAR this, RECEIVE what You are saying to us, APPLY it to our hearts and our thinking, FILL our lamps with the oil of the Holy Spirit, STOP dulling our hunger for You and things of You, and WALK IN VICTORY in this!!!!!
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I’m sure there are many more “invitations” in the Word, and I’d love to hear any others that you find!!!
And I’d also love to see your responses to Terri’s two questions above:
What about you? ~ Why is this an obligation vs. opportunity? ~and~ What are the truths you use to help you see it as inviting and as an opportunity?
Brooke Espinoza has found freedom from overeating through Thin Within, and she couldn’t be happier about it. She has been married to her husband almost 20 years and keeps busy homeschooling their daughter, caring for her family, blogging at Hemmed In By Love, and designing products for her Etsy shop, Joyful Life Printables.
