Doc
Before I get to the blog post, I want to share some context. 🙂 The above picture is my horse, Doc–well, it is his rear end, but I think it is so purty. LOL! I haven’t ridden Doc on the trail in a LOOOOOONG time. He…well…he has issues. Without going into detail, let me just say that his primary issue is arthritis throughout his body and if that wasn’t enough his secondary issue (which is a big enough one all by itself) is…well…ME :-). If I want to go down the trail, I take a different horse. If I don’t take a different horse…what you see in the video below, may end up happening:
Now, that video that you watched is a compilation of a lot of really BAD moments for a lot of people–and, to be honest, even WORSE moments for horses, but I have to say…riding horses can be a wonderful, serene experience. Horses are PREY animals and to their brain, they naturally think anything that pops up or that seems out of place might be a predator that will KILL them. So they react now and think about it (maybe) later.
This video shows my horse, Breezy, with Michaela when she was about 11 years old. Nice moments. 🙂
So, with these two piece of context, I want to share with you this post…my latest installment about how Thin Within is like one amazing, glorious, incredible trail ride! HA! 🙂
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Diets are demanding dictators.
You either got it or you don’t.
You pass or fail.
You win or lose.
Period.
There is no “gray” with dieting.
With the Thin Within approach, it isn’t a black or white, right or wrong, got it or don’t got it sort of experience–or at least not in my fifteen years of experience with this approach to managing how I relate to food and my body.
That is why I often liken it to a horseback ride down the trail. Permit me to do so yet again.
There is a cycle that happens for me and has since I began in 1999 and, yes, even since 2006 when I really began to get “focused” and more diligent to eat 0 to 5 and let God have his way with my food and eating. This is how it works…I begin to get a rhythm. Things are humming along–I am heading down the trail, riding along happily. Most would say this is “success” or “victory” or, if we let our previous dieting mentality sneak in, it is the “got it” time. I am riding my pony down the trail. Enjoying the journey. Oblivious to any challenges. They are ALL behind me…or so they seem. Granted, this “season” may be SHORT–like the few hours between waking up in the morning and the “pit hour” when the kids descend on the house after school. Or it may be literally months of eating 0 to 5, taking God at his Word, renewing the mind.
Then…
WHAMO!!!!
A bogey appears from nowhere and scares the bejeebers out of me and my horse on the trail. If you have done any trail riding with a “normal” horse (not one who is brain dead from too many rides on the dude string!), you know that even a plastic bag is enough to cause him anything from slight concern to abject terror, bucking, bolting…the works. It may not be “anything” at all, but to a 1000 pound animal with a prey animal instinct, it is fight or flight to survive…not to be killed. Trying to ride that out is just plain impossible for most mere mortals! And to be honest, it is a rare trail ride that doesn’t include some sort of excitement like this. It is the nature of the…well…beast. 🙂
Wind knocked out of me, helmet askew, I am flat out on the ground. I have given in, given up, inhaled food. (This is the analogy part. LOL!) Maybe I only overate at just one meal. Or maybe I have started there and not looked back until it is two months later. Maybe the “bogey” or “plastic bag” that caused me to fall off the horse was bad news about medical tests from the doctor. Maybe it was a mean church lady who reminded me of an abusive adult I endured growing up. Maybe it is a job loss. Maybe it is a flat tire! It doesn’t really matter. All I know is I look around and wonder “How did I get here?” I was going along so well and now….I have eaten my way into oblivion 13 of the last 17 meals. I lick my wounds and look everywhere for the face of God. Ah…there it is, inviting me to get on up. Time to move on. Yes, child, put your foot in the stirrup and lift on up into the saddle again. There are places to go. Wonders to experience. Adventures to be had!
The new normal settles in and I am again heading down the trail with a new rhythm. I have gotten the 0 to 5 eating thing wired once again–even WITH the new normal. I am in the Word, believing God, and renewing my mind. Life is good. The weight is coming off again and intimacy with God is deepening once again.
Then….
WHAMO!
Another bogey! This time, a piece of yellow “Caution” tape that my horse was sure was a horse-eating monster or the horse-eating mud monster. I just can’t stay in the saddle with this latest bugg-a-boo! I can’t hold on when life throws me these bogeymen…I am on the ground again. This time, just leave me here. I am SOOOOOOO tired of falling off. I fail to remember in moments like these that I spent a lot of time in the saddle heading where I wanted to go, enjoying the ride…Somehow the fall did something to my memory *and* my backside. My pride is wounded.
THIS time, the bogey may have been my dad’s failing health and all the heartache in my life because of never feeling his approval and knowing I may *never* have it. The challenge may have just been that annual event called “Christmas” and all the challenges that accompany it. That is all it may take! Or Summer vacation! Or being cut off on the highway. Again, it really doesn’t matter what it was…all I know is that I fell off the “I am being faithful 0 to 5” horse.
How long will I lay here before I… finally….
…harken to the call of God. Get up, dust off. Let him do it, in fact! Stick that foot on up in the stirrup again…git my bum back where it belongs. Whew…
And…Off I go again. And now, I am getting back on the horse and am ready to ride again…even with this NEW new normal.
You see…this IS faithfulness.
Faithfulness isn’t NEVER falling off. We wouldn’t be human if we never struggled.
Faithfulness is getting back on that horse again. New normal and all. Sore backside and all. We don’t keep track of our mess ups. We just get back on. We don’t count the number of pounds or days we have lost or gained or whatevered. We just GET BACK ON!
I wish I could tell you that I never struggle. That I lost all my weight and that was that. But nope. I STILL struggle. I STILL fall off the horse. I stay off the horse less long than I used to. I can’t even say that I fall off less often. Sometimes I fall off less often. Sometimes I fall off just as often as I ever have.
But…I press on.
Seems to me a really wise man once said that…
…one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind
and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize
for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 4:13-14
How About You?
Are you insisting that this is DO or DIE, right or wrong, black or white? Do you consistently refer to your attempts at following the Lord in the Thin Within principles as having failed? Are you swinging between black and white? How would your view of things change if you believed that GRAY can be glorious? We are progressing by hanging in there…even when it is ugly! Do you believe it? How can you press on today? Can you “Git Yer Bum Back in the Saddle?” 🙂
Oh my, Heidi. Oh my, Dear Lord!! These are just the words I need to hear this morning. Heidi, God has so used you, so spoken through you, to me, and I know there are many others who will be blessed by this. When I read this in my email, I could not see the videos. Now that I’ve come to the site to comment, I do see them, I’m now going to watch them, if I can, through these wet eyes. I just had to come here immediately and tell you how grateful I am to you for these words, and so grateful to God, speaking to me through you. God love you!! Heidi, and all who are reading this. Love and prayers for all.
Beautiful videos, Heidi. The 1st one, not only has a great lesson with it, but also made me LOL. The second one, so peaceful, so loving, and great touch at the very end. Put a smile on my face. Thank you, Heidi, for this beautiful start to my day, my week. Here’s to victory, no, change that to victories!! this day, this week, this life time. Blessings and love. I’ll be sharing this with my “live” group this morning at 11:00 AM. You will be blessing many. God bless this day.
Forgive me, please. I just can’t quit responding to this blog. I’ve been quiet for over a week, no responding to anything online, was sickly most of the past week, so now, feeling better, AND, having read this blog and it hitting me as it has, I just want to answer the questions Heidi poses.
Are you insisting that this is DO or DIE, right or wrong, black or white?
I have been, yes! And I’ve been so disgusted with myself that I’ve “fallen off” and so hard for me to get back on, since I should do better!! And I’ve always been a “all or nothing” kind of gal.
Do you consistently refer to your attempts at following the Lord in the Thin Within principles as having failed?
I have thought of myself as a failure, since I felt I had “gotten” this, and then I backslid.
Are you swinging between black and white? How would your view of things change if you believed that GRAY can be glorious? We are progressing by hanging in there…even when it is ugly! Do you believe it? How can you press on today? Can you “Git Yer Bum Back in the Saddle?”
I have started in the past few days of getting back in the saddle. I’ve had my foot in the stirrup, I’ve swung my leg over, now, I’m ready to go for the ride! Knowing, I will fall off again, it is a given, and that I can and I will get up, and climb back on, and in that is the victory! Again, thank you, Heidi!! Thank you, God, for using Heidi as you do in our lives.
Brilliant! I have abandoned my horse many miles back. At some point I am going to have to go back and get him.
LOVED this post! And it was much needed this morning! I feel like the horse I am riding keeps bucking me off. But I keep getting back on! Praise God!
LOVED this more than anything I’ve read in a long, long time. Thank you for posting it. It’s just so true… I love the part about not looking back… just get back on the horse.
Blessings,
Traci
Thank you sooo very much for being authentic Heidi. God must have know it’s what I needed. I too have done well 3 yrs ago with another program & fell off my “horse”. I’ve been having a really difficult time getting back on.
I just recently hopped back on this past week. I slipped a little yesterday & for some reason it was really frustrating to me. I’ll hop back on and did so today.
It’s just sooo refreshing to know it’s ok to be “human” especially when others claim it can be accomplished once & for all. I was beginning to wonder what’s wrong with me and if others can do it how come I cant do it.
I do believe we’ll always be tested forever. We’ll get farther on our journey if we keep getting back on the “horse” rather than staying off it forever. You’ve given me a refreshed perspective. I’ll keep getting back on no matter how far my destination will be.
Thank you! God is sooo good to give us you & your wisdom!!!
Hi,
Hope this isnt a duplicate. I tried typing it then it said I duplicated my info. I’m confused lol!
Anyhow…thank you sooo much for sharing Heidi! It’s sooo refreshing to know that it’s ok to be human & that we’ll always be fighting the fight to stay on track to our goal!
I’ve done another program and lost alot about 3 yrs ago. I fell off track since & have been really struggling to get back “on my horse”. I dont know why. I just recently this past week have been focusing & doing well. Yesterday I thought I did ok but went up and I was upset about it. I dont plan on quitting this time but will take it as it comes and move onward. I’ll hop back into my saddle.
It’s sooo refreshing that you’re soooo authentic and real. I love you for that! When another program claims to be done once and for all forever & then you can’t seem to do it, that’s beyond frustrating & upsetting to me.
I’m grateful for God’s neverending love for us. I will keep striving & resting in God’s love for me.
Thank you for sharing your true self with us…you’re such a gift from God for us…real & the true thing is what works for me.
xoxoxox
so sorry for the duplication…I dont know how to delete them!
I became aware of horses being spooked by plastic bags when I first went to Mackinac Island. The only mode of transportation there are bicycles and horse and buggy…You literally step back in time. All their bags when you purchase something from the shops are paper. Even though these horses are trained to deal with many things, the preventative measures to keep them from being distracted or startled are necessary.
So when you said: “that even a plastic bag is enough to cause him anything from slight concern to abject terror, bucking, bolting…the works.” This is what I was thinking about…
The preventative measures I need to take when dealing with the food issues I face that may cause me to become unnerved are vital. Simply CHOOSING AHEAD OF TIME how I will handle situations that have caught me off-guard in the past will eliminate problems before they even start. Arming myself with scripture based pep talks I give myself and from you, Heidi from a video or sound cloud audio, writing out and reading truth cards and using the IDAD book or app will prepare me for whatever comes my way!
Also, removing out of my sight and arm’s reach those foods that would call my name when I am not hungry keeps my focus where it should be! Eliminating things that would trigger a response of fear like that bucking horse is a just a smart idea! When something blows across my path, and I even have my blinders on like a horse does, I have to keep looking ahead on the path and let God calm me down. I really have no idea how to calm a horse down….I am sure you do…but whatever those steps are probably involve patience and peacefulness. There are times I have even given God a chance to calm me and I have reached for food instead. I am becoming more aware of this all the time…I am stopping that knee-jerk reaction and slowing down so I am able to let God calm me…
I am going to meditate on what other preventative measures I can take to prevent a spinning mind and how to focus on God when I feel like I am not prepared to deal with something that comes up unexpectantly. I know that staying filled up with God’s Word and Spirit is a must!
I enjoy all the lessons from horses that you tell us!!
I really enjoyed this one Heidi. Partly because the horse analogy is so easy for everyone to relate to. But more than that, somehow we can each see ourselves on the horse, in the saddle or on the ground..wherever we are, we are helped back up with your honesty and truth about your journey.
Personally, I feel as if my horse has taken me down a path that holds many surprises. I remember one ride on a horse, he decided to catch up with everyone else. I was too slow…imagine that! So the horse cut through some low bushy trees. I of course was not prepared and fell off the horse…hard! But it taught me a valuable lesson.. to be alert when riding a horse. It’s not like going out for a Sunday drive now is it?
God uses TW and you, Heidi to continually teach me how to be prepared for, well, who knows what could be next. I am able to spot problem areas quicker now and make adjustments for them. Prior to TW, I would have abandoned this dang horse long ago. But now I am learning to love the horse, brush the horse, talk to the horse, walk alongside the horse, even watch videos of the horse!!
So again I am grateful for you and for God Almighty leading me to ThinWithin.
I love this post Heidi! Your words are so honest and so true. I am picturing myself riding that horse on the same trail as all of these lovely ladies that have posted comments. No more pass or fail, no more win or lose, no more begin and end. I am ready to embrace the gray with Christ. Love it! Thank you!!! 🙂