Rebellion?

The fog has cleared. I look around, taking stock. 
How did I get here? I wonder.
How did I stray so far from where the Lord had brought me?
Image Courtesy of Stock Exchange
There can be no doubt that the past 18 months have brought uncharted difficulties in my life–like a raging sea with occasional calm:
  • Facing an 86 year old Mom who, one day engages in conversation and the next looks at me with confusion, and cries: “Where is mother?” Has opportunity for restoration passed?
  •  Evaluating the ramifications of an empty nest as my “biggest fan” heads off to Wheaton College in the fall…Lord, is she ready? Have I taught her enough?
  • Putting the pieces of a 27-year-long marriage back together after the demon of depression had it’s way with my best friend and hero for 15 months. How can I trust again, Lord?
  •  Wondering what will become of my socially challenged son as he, too, heads off (against his will) to Montana Wilderness School of the Bible to experience community and whatever God has for him there. Will he ever be “normal,” Lord?

 And with these challenges (and more) have returned old habits that I thought (in pride) were ancient history. Apparently not. Try as I might to deny it, what I see is that I have turned back to food once again to be my “comforter.” I have turned a cold shoulder and shaken a fist at the Lord who loves me with an attitude of entitlement and rebellion: I deserve better!

I struggle with defeat.  

I am supposed to be beyond this. I lead Thin Within classes! I write material for the company! Sheesh! I even have one of the best literary agents in the business and new plans for a book to help women on this journey….and yet, here I am…struggling with this…again? Or is it STILL, Lord? How can I pretend to have anything to offer others when I am here? Worse…how can YOU stand me!? I can hardly stand myself! Such hypocrisy!


I go to the Word of God. Renew my mind, Lord.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
   and he saved them from their distress.
He sent forth his word and healed them;
   he rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
   and his wonderful deeds for men. 
~ Psalm 107:19-21  

God lovingly leads me to ancient pages. Such wisdom, such love, such grace and mercy flow off of the page, dripping, it seems into the ache of my heart. Forgive me, Lord. I have looked to counterfeits for what only you can give. You alone hold the answers and Comfort I need. Thank you for your unfailing love, for your kindness and all you do for me…

Deuteronomy soothes me:
 

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, 
you will find him if you look for him 
with all your heart and with all your soul. 
When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, 
then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. 
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; 
he will not abandon or destroy you 
or forget the covenant with your forefathers, 
which he confirmed to them by oath.
 ~ Deuteronomy 4:29-31
Today, is a day to return and obey. I have a merciful, loving God who doesn’t abandon me, even in my rebellion. He intends these trials to lead me to greater reliance on Him. Today, I will cooperate with Him. I will link arms with Him. I will walk with Him.
How about you? Is it time to take stock? Have you been using food for something other than what it is intended? Is God beckoning, wooing you back to Himself?

Yesterday…

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
   like a weaned child with its mother,
   like a weaned child is my soul within me.  
~ Psalm 131:2
Photo Courtesy iStockPhoto.com

Yesterday is yesterday. It is gone, past. It wasn’t like the day before and it is different from what today will hold. I choose to learn from it.

So, today as I rest in God’s presence, I feel a conviction in my heart. I know I need to bring something to him for his cleansing. At first, I feel like it is the food–my eating. Yesterday was a day filled with a lot of emotionally draining situations. Truthfully, I didn’t quiet myself with my meals…not at all. But as I evaluate, I realize that if I didn’t eat within my physical boundaries, I was close to it.

But what I *do* realize is that I didn’t quiet my heart. I didn’t really BE STILL. I didn’t follow the call of God found in Isaiah 30:15, that “in repentance and rest, is your salvation. In quietness and trust, is your strength.” I tried to find strength on my own…and that is defective. No wonder I was so spent.

A lot faced me yesterday. Each one of the situations individually would have been challenging, but it was a day filled with one thing after the other…four HUGE things.

As I look back on yesterday, then, I want to allow God, invite the Spirit, to invade my thinking. To, again, change the way I think–even in retrospect.

Lord, I thank you that I find strength when I am quiet, repent, rest and trust IN YOU. I tried to navigate the emotional and situational challenges of yesterday with my own strength and  it didn’t work. Lord, sometimes it feels like being still and knowing you are God is a waste of time I could be using to get things done. Wow! Such arrogance. Thank you that you forgive me for that. You have said in your Word that being still provides strength. I choose your way, Lord. Today, I know I need your strength, too. Change my thinking, Lord. Transform me. Renew my mind. Being still in your presence is the most power-infusing place I can be. You will be magnified. My life is totally beyond me. I need you today. I choose to quiet my soul right now. Be Lord in me, in my life today. Here is my hand, Lord. I choose to walk with you. Thank you, Jesus, that you make it possible. Amen.

Hello, It’s Me Again…TRUTH Inventory Time

I have an accountability partner who is amazing. God is so gracious in giving her to me. I don’t know if she would want to be mentioned by name, so I won’t just yet. But I hope to introduce you to her one day.

Image Provided by stock.xchng

 Under her guidance and discipleship, really, I am learning to speak short (well, relatively! LOL!), direct statements, declaring TRUTH about my eating and living.

Today, I had an “eating occasion” that had nothing to do with 0 to 5 eating (eating between the parameters of physical hunger and satisfaction). I decided to renew my mind (in the way my partner recommends) this afternoon and these truths are the ones I want to wrap my mind around. Can you identify with any of them following an “eating occasion” that you regret?

TRUTH: This way of behaving is NOT in line with godly goals of being Christlike.

TRUTH: Eating what I want when I want doesn’t get me what I really want—which is to be more like Jesus!

TRUTH: I am CALLED to make sacrifices in love for the Lord, but also for the people to whom He has called me to minister.

TRUTH: Obeying the Lord actually delights my heart. The “deprivation” I feel at the moment is followed by a bunch of moments of a full heart, rejoicing that I gave that tempting moment to Christ.

TRUTH: I am forgiven in Christ.

TRUTH: I am a new creature in Christ.

TRUTH: I DO care.

TRUTH: I don’t have a right to this body of mine at all…it belongs to Christ. He purchased it…with his blood.

TRUTH: I need to practice what I preach.

TRUTH: There is NO condemnation toward me.

TRUTH: I must be gentle with myself remembering babysteps get me there.

TRUTH: I don’t like how I feel when I overeat and the long-term ramifications are a bummer, too.

TRUTH: Jesus is after my heart.

TRUTH: He is using my struggle with food to make me utterly dependent on Him.

TRUTH: I want to cooperate with His plan for my life.

TRUTH: I want to be faithful.

TRUTH: Waiting until I am hungry to eat is a GODLY BOUNDARY that I value.

TRUTH: Eating in a calm environment, reducing distractions—internally and externally—before I allow a bite to pass my lips and as I eat—will help me. It is a boundary worth keeping.

TRUTH: Praising God before I eat actually fills my soul and defeats “desire eating” (outside of hunger).

TRUTH: Eating while sitting helps me be more peaceful. It is a boundary I value. I believe God wants me to keep this boundary, too.

TRUTH: I am not “overspiritualizing” this since I know that 1 Corinthians 10:31 says that whether I eat or drink I can do it ALL to the glory of God. (Implying that I can also eat or drink in a way that doesn’t glorify him!)

TRUTH: I want to eat only once my mind and body are relaxed, even if it means being hungry a bit longer…to be sure I am aware and calmly enjoying my food.

TRUTH: I will eat and drink things I enjoy…(that isn’t really a problem for me). I want to learn to weigh carefully what I choose and be a bit more selective. Lord, please heal me of my tendency to be a sweet-a-holic.

TRUTH: Paying attention to my food instead of also reading or watching something or surfing with my iPad when I am eating is valuable for helping me “record” the experience as an eating experience.

TRUTH: Eating slowly, savoring each bite can help me grow in gratitude toward the Lord for the amazing flavors and textures that he has invented as well as help me to eat less. I will also eat less too.

TRUTH: Stopping before I am full is a happy place to stop. I end up eating with joy and stopping with joy and continuing on with my day/evening with joy. It is worth it.

TRUTH: Adhering to these truths/boundaries is something I want to do and is extremely rewarding. What I suffer when I violate my boundaries is NOT worth the short-term “joy” I have when I violate them. The short-term sacrifices that I make to adhere to my boundaries are sooooo worth the pay-off!

So…which of these can YOU identify with? 🙂

Thin Within – Worshipping God Through the Mundane

We often think of worship as singing songs on Sunday mornings, but the exciting truth is, we can do whatever we do for the glory of God, just as 1 Corinthians 10:31 says:  

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Even eating and drinking can be an expression of worship! In fact, a careful study of Scripture might indicate to an astute observer of the text that God cares very much about this aspect of our lives. So let’s invite him to show us His will for our lives this summer!

Provided by iStockPhoto.com

Thin Within is the non-diet approach I used to release 100 pounds of weight between summer of 2006 and fall of 2007 and I continue to maintain a healthy size the same way. Not only is this an approach to managing weight, but it really is a discipleship program–focusing my heart and mind on being renewed by the Word of truth and submitting to the God of the Universe in *all* things…even things that seem mundane!

Thin Within is NOT a program where you will learn diet laws and rules. In fact, you will be encouraged to throw out your diet paraphernalia! You will even be challenged NOT to get on your bathroom scale.  There are no “good foods” or “bad foods.” All is lawful! (1 Corinthians 6:12)

Instead, you will be encouraged to respond to your God-given signals of physical hunger and satisfaction. You will have the joy of allowing God to direct you personally in eating whatever foods you desire within the parameters of physical need. You can do this without guilt and with delight. Each time you are physically hungry you can select something to eat that thrills your taste buds! If you love summer squash, then great! Enjoy! If you hate it, don’t ever eat another bite of it again. 🙂 If you love cheese enchiladas, enjoy the freedom of having the mexican meal of your dreams when you are hungry and stopping when you are no longer hungry.

No weighing, measuring, counting, or preparing of special foods. You can eat out, go on vacation, eat what your family eats. I know it sounds too good to be true, but the key is in something that is hard for many of us–M-O-D-E-R-A-T-I-O-N. It works!

I believe that this is where our God-given freedom from tyranny of food, body images, and self-loathing is found. As I learn to ask the Lord to renew my mind and my thinking about food and my body, I see that He is the Creator! He created my body to be reliable if I will depend on HIM to help me through all those other times I may be drawn to food! I begin to trust him with this process. We *can* do this. And when we eat only what we *need* we will release the extra weight and discover our natural God-given size.

Because we eat each time we are hungry, we don’t have to worry about “shutting down” our metabolisms. The truth is, we are teaching our bodies that we are *NOT* in “starvation” mode. Quite to the contrary, in fact.

Additionally, because we will depend on the Lord to learn about our bodies and the way we think about food, to expose the lies we have believed, to replace these lies with truth, we will find our relationships with the Lord deepening.

I won’t lie to you…this process IS hard. There is a definite need to die to self–to be willing to say no to the additional portion when I am no longer hungry, but the joy that comes is bountiful!

Consider Colossians 2:20-21:

Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, 
why, as though you still belonged to the world, 
do you submit to its rules: 
“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? 
These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, 
are based on merely human commands and teachings. 
Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, 
with their self-imposed worship, 
their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, 
but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
The above description sounds so much like a diet to me. I want to be DONE with that…I mean FOREVER. Do you? Aren’t you sick of the good food/bad food lists? Especially when you know down inside that you still REALLY love HäagenDazs ice cream and hate fat-free salad dressing? As we enjoy a modest amount of our favorite foods slowly and deliberately, we *are* satisfied. Partly because we go to GOD to have our heart needs met…instead of food! I can’t get my spiritual and emotional hungers fed by eating physical food. Nope. It won’t work! So Thin Within teaches that I go to God for that and then I am able to see the value of restraining indulging in extra portions of favorite foods! I end up joyful. I end up satisfied.
Please consider joining us for our study this summer. We will meet each week on Wednesdays from 4:30-5:30 PDT at http://www.thinwithin.org/chat/ to discuss what we have studied during the week. Be sure to get the workbook material so you can study during the week on your own! God will bless this! Give it 13 weeks and see if God doesn’t blow you away with the NEW THING He is doing!

Want to Participate in an Online Thin Within Class? Now’s Your Chance! :-D

NOTE: I edited this to reflect a change in day of the week. We will be meeting in the chat room on Wednesdays instead of Thursdays. Hope you can make it!

I am leading an online Thin Within group this summer through the Thin Within workbook material. The first orientation meeting will be June 15th and we will meet at the chat room at the Thin Within website.We will meet for chatting together from 4:30-5:30 pm Pacific Daylight Time each Wednesday evening beginning June 15th continuing through the first week in September.

(If you are a visual person and prefer a video telling you about this material, below you will find one. It isn’t particularly exciting, but it does give the low-down about the workbook!)

Here are some details (which I have shared in the past) telling about the  Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook Kit #1. If you have done this workbook before, you can still join the weekly chats starting June 15th and work through *any* of the Thin Within workbooks as they are all designed so that they all have the same lesson topics each week!

The first kit is the most comprehensive and comes with three pieces:  

  1. Workbook #1 
  2. The Temple Toolkit 
  3. The Memory Challenge Cards (click on the image to see a large version and click again to see it magnified further):

The contents of Kit #1

 First, the workbook itself, is a spiral bound volume that has material for 12 weeks of study. To download a sample of the material, visit this link. The download is an Adobe Reader (.pdf) file of Week One – “Hope.” After you download it,  print it and take a week to try it out! 🙂

Each week consists of the following:

  • Lesson material – This is dense written material that you will read to glean the concepts that we are teaching or reviewing during the week. I usually recommend about an hour spent with this, highlighting, asterisking, and looking up the verses in my own bible. I may even write comments in the margin or, if I am leading a group, questions to be sure to ask participants.
    • Each of the reading portions of the lesson are divided into these segments:
      • Introduction – a brief overview of the week’s focus
      • Spiritual Information – the relationship this material has to the Scriptures
      • Physiological Information – the “mechanics” — what you can actually do to make additional changes in your eating to honor the Lord
      • Integration – How it all works together
  • Exercises – Don’t worry! These aren’t calisthenics! LOL! They are basically guided daily quiet times. 🙂 Each week includes “exercises” for each day of the week. Days six and seven are optional and a bit “lighter.” Days one through five include the following sections:
    • Going Deeper – This relates some aspect of the lesson you have read to your life
    • Bible Study – This shows how Scripture illustrates or illuminates the principles taught in the lesson
    • Knowing God By Heart – One of the best parts, this is a study of the attributes of God. We have found that the way a participant views God impacts how she will view food, herself, her body, as well as her willingness (or not) to surrender this aspect of her life to the Lord for His purposes.
    • Getting Practical – These are suggestions for putting some of the mechanics of the program into practice
    • Memory Challenge – Hiding God’s Word in our hearts will enable us to be reminded of our commitment to him when we are weak! Memorizing scripture is extremely helpful for renewing our mind and changing our thinking!
  • Review of the Week – This provides a space where you can summarize what God has shown you or questions and thoughts you have had. This section is especially helpful when you meet with others in a group setting. 🙂

In addition to these resources in the workbook, there is an extensive Introduction at the beginning and Appendices in the back, providing a great deal of material that will support you on your journey.

But wait! There’s more! 🙂 (Couldn’t resist saying that!) Not only do you get the Workbook, but when you purchase the first kit, you also get the Temple Toolkit. This is a resource that offers a place for you to log your own journey throughout each day during the full twelve weeks. As you progress through the material, the pages change to match what you have learned in the workbook. Let me show you what I mean.

The first image below shows Days 25-28. Click on the image to see a larger version and then click again to see FULL size what these pages look like in the temple toolkit:

Days 25, 26, 27, 28 in the Temple Toolkit

As you progress through the workbook and new material is introduced, the Temple Toolkit changes, too:

Days 49, 50, 51, and 52 in Temple Toolkit

Again, click on the image above and then click again on the bigger image to see it full size. You will see new tools have been added.

Of course all of the tools are optional as you go through the 12-week workbook. If you have come out of a background of excessive charting and graphing, you may only want to use the journaling pages. Or, as time goes on, you may experience freedom with one tool and not another. The Lord will lead each of us individually. Some have freedom to use all the tools, charts and graphs.

By the time you are closer to the end of the first twelve weeks, you will have been introduced to all of the tools. Note how the material in the toolkit has evolved:

Days 77, 78, 79 and 80 in Temple Toolkit

Again, “Wait! There’s more!” 🙂 When you order the first kit, you get not only the Workbook, the Temple Toolkit that changes as you go through the material, but you also get the Memory Challenge and Temptation Buster Cards:

Memory Challenge and Temptation Buster Cards

 Again, click on the image above and the larger image, to get a full size view of what these include. You cut them up and can carry them with you so that Thin Within isn’t just a bible study that you begin in the morning and leave behind the rest of the day. These resources are very supportive in helping you to keep the principles that God is leading you to embrace and apply with you throughout the day.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. 
Do what it says. 
Anyone who listens to the word 
but does not do what it says 
is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, 
after looking at himself, 
goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
~ James 1:22-24

We don’t want to just accumulate head knowledge, but then leave it behind for the rest of the day! We want to ACT on what we learn in our times of study and in God’s Word!

I realize that $45 is not a “bargain price” for a workbook alone, but I trust you will feel like it is worth it. This material includes three months of workbook material and exercises, as well as the Temple Toolkit which would probably cost $20 for something like that (if you could find such a thing!) separately. (It isn’t sold separately at Thin Within, so this is hypothetical!) Truthfully, with the money you save by eating less food :-), you will be able to afford a kit for yourself and a best friend, too! (Ok, so now I am taking my infomercial over the top…hope you are bearing with me! LOL! But it IS true!)

Thin Within isn’t a big company. No one has a salary. The proceeds from sales of the workbook go to cover the costs of producing these materials, keeping the Thin Within website functioning, other expenses (like the phone!), and small stipends for some of the Thin Within team members.  So while the cost of $45 may seem steep, it isn’t padding anyone’s pocket. I am sure you will be pleased with the quality of the materials you receive. (Boy, do I ever sound like an advertisement today. Sorry about that! I just really believe in this material and am eager for the word to spread!)

One additional piece of information that many are unaware of is that there are 3 additional workbooks, each covering 12 weeks. The material is designed so that people who have gone through workbook #1 before, can do workbook #2 or #3 or #4, even while most in the group use workbook #1. Each of the workbooks are presented in 12 weekly themes that parallel each other. These are the themes for all four of the workbooks:

  1. Hope
  2. My Body–God’s Temple
  3. Identity in Christ
  4. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part One
  5. Restoration
  6. Counting the Cost
  7. The Fight of Faith
  8. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part Two
  9. Building Godly Boundaries
  10. Forgiveness
  11. Prayer
  12. Celebration of God’s Grace, Part Three

When the group is on week five, everyone will be studying, reviewing, learning about the theme of Restoration. This helps prevent the material from becoming stale! It is a great system that allows people of all experience levels to enjoy a group together, studying and reviewing together.

    To order materials, call Thin Within 1-877-729-8932 (9:00am-5:00pm Eastern).

    The group I will be leading starting June 16th is an “open” group. You can join the chat at any time. There will be more details to come here and at the Thin Within website. Hope you can join us, even if you will be traveling a lot this summer! You can still join us at your convenience! 🙂