After the first “freedom” phase of Thin Within–the phase where we have tossed aside our former dieting mentality and all the “Good Food/Bad Food” lists that restricted us in our dieting days–we move on to the second phase–the discernment phase. This is when many people begin to notice that they actually enjoy foods that they had to eat when they were on diets. So sitting down to a wonderfully, nutrient-rich salad may end up being a “whole body pleaser” experience for you. Not only is that ok, but it is desirable!
That is…UNLESS you allow certain thinking (and acting) to kick in!
There are some potential pit-falls to be aware of as you head into the discernment phase and begin to select more nutrient-dense foods.
Pitfall Number 1:Many of us come from dieting pasts when fresh fruits and vegetables were considered “freebies.” We didn’t have to “count” them so we could have them as often as we liked. If we bring this thinking into our Thin Within program, it will mean that we will justify eating those foods even if we aren’t yet at a 0. Remember that no matter what form your fuel comes in–a candy bar OR a salad–if your body doesn’t need the fuel (as indicated by clear hunger signals) it will be stored on your body…as…well, you guessed it: Fat! So whatever you select as the food you will eat at any time, you want to do so only when you are at a clear “0”–physically hungry.
Pitfall Number 2:There is a tendency to think that because it is nutrient rich, it is a carte blanche for eating MORE of it. So, as we sit down to eat a salad (or celery or carrot sticks–or even fresh salsa!) it isn’t uncommon to do some “justification eating.” To justify having a larger portion than we need because it is, after all, a “healthy” food. Again, no matter what form the fuel comes in, if it is more than our bodies need, we will store it as fat.
Pitfall Number 3:When we eat more of a food–even a food like salad, carrot sticks, etc, we get used to quantity. We can overeat even salad. We begin to get desensitized to the feeling in our stomach that sends us the signal that we don’t need to eat that much. We then take this desensitization into eating other foods which means “energy dense” foods (or what we called “high calorie” foods in our dieting days) are then consumed in greater amounts as well, without our feeling quite so bothered by the feeling in our stomach that, had we been faithful to 0 to 5, would be uncomfortable for us.
The solution to avoiding all three of these pitfalls is to keep in mind that no matter what foods you select, you want to do so according to physical hunger–a true need for fuel–and physical satisfaction.
When you select a beneficial food like a fresh garden salad be aware of the potential to justify eating outside of your primary boundaries and the impact this can have on you the rest of the time!
How About You?
Do you see this thinking at work in you? Do you tend to think of salad and other similar foods as “freebies?” Is this affecting how sensitive you are to “5” so that you are more likely to overeat other foods as well? What will you do about this going forward?
Last week, I created the Fire the Desire 3-Day Challenge form (did you download it on Tuesday?) in response to a request from one of my coaching clients that we “shake things up” to stimulate a change. I wanted to partner along with her, so I decided to take the challenge myself. Silly me. The first day I had stars in every box. WOOT! WOOT! YAY! I had an early breakfast 0 to 5 on the second day…off to a rousing start. Then, my daughter, recently returned from her first international trip, announced her desire to go to IN-n-Out. Hubby, Michaela and I headed off and, since I wasn’t hungry, I just got a diet soda. How about that! I would guess that was about when pride set in.
Next, I persevered through some tennis drills with hubby, still sustained by my breakfast. But after that? Well, I have no idea what happened. Something…I think when I got home I started “grazing” maybe because nothing sounded really good even though I was hungry (or was I?). So suddenly, my Fire the Desire 3-Day Challenge form had a big circle for one of the hours instead of a star! GASP!!!
THIS WAS NOT OK WITH ME! (Perfectionism rears its ugly head…it is not our friend!)
So, I did the mature thing…I crumpled it up (a tantrum, basically) and threw it in the trash. I printed out another chart so I could pretend to be perfect after all.
STOP!
Please tell me you won’t do this (or haven’t done this)!!!
And if you aren’t doing the challenge, I know you can relate even generally to applying yourself to eating 0 to 5, right?
Here is what I propose: If we have an hour when we feel hard pressed to put our star or favorite mark in the box (or experience victory if you aren’t doing the challenge with the chart), let’s circle the box, sure. Then, in the space below the grid, jot down an observation and correction. Prayerfully answer these questions: What happened to cause me to eat outside of my boundaries of 0 and 5 (or to drink sweetened beverages or not to have time praising the Lord at all during the day, etc)? What can I do differently next time so I won’t give in to whatever it was that got me during this hour?
Once you have answered these questions, you can consider the hour that is circled on your grid (or the choice you made to “mess up”) REDEEMED! You have allowed God to take your misstep (or, if you want to be really hard on yourself, a “failure”) and turn it into a victory where you have learned something to do differently when a similar situation presents itself the next time. THAT is a victory! This is what the Hallidays mean when they say failure can be a teacher, a coach, rather than your undertaker.
So, don’t do what I did and act like none of those starred boxes matter just because one of them didn’t have a star in it. Don’t assume that all the time you have made choices to honor God and to stay within your boundaries don’t matter just because of a mess up! Instead, observe and correct and praise God for the opportunity to learn.
In fact, let’s celebrate those boxes with stars in them. Let’s rejoice over the many moments we have made God-honoring choices!
But, of course, let’s have godly balance here…if you have more boxes that are circled than you do ones with stars in them, there is a problem–you may not be committed. But one hour out of 24–an hour where you were willing to observe (confess) and correct (repent) and make a plan for next time doesn’t a rotten day make!
How About You?
How are you doing on the challenge? Sure, you can start over from scratch if you want to, but why not observe and correct and press on now? This is the way life is. It is rarely perfect!
The day begins with hot tea and the warmth of a personal encounter with Jesus. Blessings and truth gush like a fountain off the pages of the Bible and saturate your heart as you are in awe of how intimate and personal His presence is to you. You have carved out this time first thing in the morning and it is richly rewarding!
In fact, you don’t think about food until a gnawing sensation in your stomach overcomes all other thoughts. Wow! I haven’t eaten since last night’s dinner! I am at a zero! Your quiet time was so satisfying and fulfilling and your heart so satiated with the goodness of God that it wasn’t until you were truly hungry that you gave a thought to breakfast. You thankfully relish a modest portion of a thoroughly satisfying meal.
As the day continues, you are prayerful, joy-filled, aware that Jesus walks with you.
Lunch is another “I-can’t-believe-I-am-actually-hungry” eating experience as you enjoy a lunch out with a favorite co-worker. You readily stop eating when you are no longer hungry. This is what it is like to “whether you eat or drink, do it all to the glory of God” as spoken of in 1 Corinthians 10:31!
Upon returning from lunch, however, demanding clients and a disgruntled boss cause the afternoon to lose it’s luster somewhat. By day’s end, the warm glow of the morning’s embers has been pretty well snuffed out. Tired, you saunter to your car considering the late afternoon commute. Your heart falls–overwhelmed–at what you know waits for you at home. Barring a miracle, the kids will be squabbling and messes will be everywhere. By the time you emerge through the thick traffic–made worse by a fender-bender in the slow lane–you are famished…you deserve some joy in your life. You enter the house and, sure enough, no one else thought to clean up the sink which now demands attention before you can even think about dinner preparation. Why is this always left to me?
You plug in the electric skillet with ingredients of what will not-soon-enough be a delicious meal and, as you reach for the cumin in the cupboard, the chocolate chips sitting right next to the spice rack grab you by the arm and threaten that you had better eat them! Ha! Not really, but you would think so! Before you give it any thought, let alone a prayer, you dive in. You finish your dinner preparation as you continue to revisit the bag of chocolate chips and by the time dinner is ready, you have inhaled enough chocolate chips to populate two batches of cookies. You aren’t hungry for dinner but feel the need to eat to “balance your blood sugar” since you know you will crash and burn later when you do get hungry after eating so much sugar. Besides, you don’t want the family to ask why you aren’t eating. That would be even worse than having eaten the chocolate chips!
By the time you go to bed, you are miserable…not just from having overeaten, but from the overwhelming sense of “failure.” Why can’t I ever have ONE good day of eating 0 to 5 all day long? The club of condemnation comes out and you start beating yourself up.
Can you relate to this scenario or one sort of like it? Are you frustrated that you can begin the day so well, but by the day’s end you have steamrollered right over your 0 to 5 eating boundaries?
What can you do when this happens?
In my personal experience and through the one-on-one coaching I have been doing for the past few months, I have seen this scenario or one like it play out numerous times. What we choose to do with our “failure” determines how “successful” we will be with our Thin Within program and the release of weight we hope to experience.
It isn’t the slip up that will keep us from releasing weight–not usually. It is allowing a mis-step to define what the next meal will be like, what the next hour will look like, what the next day, week, and month will look like.
This is why we have to, have to, haveto be willing to go from merely “observing” (and condemning) our behavior to planning a correction immediately. That way, the next time–and there WILL be a next time–we will have a plan of action to ensure success! We can take the proverbial bull by the horns and bring him down!
What do I mean by observation and correction? For those of you new or not yet experienced with the Thin Within book or workbook, this is a tool we use to help us see where we strayed from behavior and thoughts that didn’t correspond or support our godly goals. This is the “easy” part. It is the part that says, “I ate all those chocolate chips and then ate dinner when I wasn’t hungry and now I am stuffed!” In Thin Within, though, we try to observe dispassionately. We look at what happened and declare what action or thought was the culprit that derailed our godly intentions. We don’t judge. We don’t pull out the club of condemnation. This is the FIRST thing we do. You can add more power to this step by confessing it to the Lord in prayer.
Secondly, we want to plan a “correction”–what will we do differently the next time we are in the exact–or similar–situation? This is, simply, repentance. Choosing and planning a new behavior for the next time this situation arises. In our example, I would want to make a plan for when I am tired, frustrated, famished, and get little (if any) help at home after a long day. What could I *do* to change things around so that once I land at home the chocolate chips don’t assault me out of the blue? One suggestion for the woman in our example is that she could use her CD/mp3 player for the drive home to refocus her thoughts so that the commute time is spent renewing her mind about the rest of the day. Praise music can make a huge difference! Alternatively, downloading and using the audio files that I have made available to you might be helpful for the stressful commute. You can download the bible as mp3 or iTunes files, too! The journey home from work (or wherever) can actually become a sanctified “Holy of Holies” of sorts–land that you capture for the Lord. And if, when you do finally get home, you are famished you can have a prepared-in-advance baggie with a small snack designed for just such an occasion–to shave the 0 off just a tad. Like three Ritz crackers or one Oreo cookie–enough to get you through the dinner preparation without inhaling the chocolate chips!
Third thing you want to do after you have messed up is REJOICE! What? Did she actually say “Rejoice!”? Yes! You see, you are sensitive to the Lord and to the boundaries he has asked you to live within. That is why you have an awareness of the situation as a “Mess Up!” It means that you are tender-hearted. You haven’t become calloused to sin or to living outside of boundaries. It is a wonderful thing to realize! So, thank the Lord that he has given you a heart to obey him and that while you aren’t doing it “perfectly,” you are growing in godliness with each day. THIS time is different than any that may have come before as you are learning to do the struggle well.
Bringing it home:
Step 1: Observation. Consider the last 3 “mess ups” you have experienced. What did you think or do that worked against your godly goals?
Step 2: Correction. What will you do to structure life for success so that the next time you are in a similar situation you maintain your commitment to your boundaries?
Step 3: REJOICE! Can you thank God right now that he has given you a heart tender to him? You are here reading about this, aren’t you? That says a lot! LOL! 😀
Share your three steps below for one of your “Mess Ups.” You might give others that read your ideas some strategies for dealing with their own struggles! Let’s win some for the LORD!
“Yummy Food” or “Good Food” eating is what we do when the food happens to be available and we just happen to decide to eat it. Can you relate? It is typically, a grab-and-go sort of experience…not at all a thoughtful one!
For instance, you are making dinner and simply must taste the goods as you do so. A taste here, a taste there and you discover when all is ready that you are not hungry for dinner when it is time to sit down with the family! BOO!
One solution to this sort of “Yummy Food Eating” is to chew gum while you are cooking/preparing food. It is typically a bit off-putting to taste something else while the gum is in your mouth! At the very least, it can help you to realize that you are being more intentional about the tasting than you thought. When I discover that my “accidental” bites aren’t quite so “accidental,” I know it is time to pray for a willing heart and renew my mind about my boundaries!
Another example of a “Yummy Food Eating” temptation is Costco and Sam’s club (or other membership club). Food samples that are out everywhere no matter which time of the day you choose to shop there. This may sound silly, but if you know you love the samples, you can actually plan to be hungry during your shopping trip at Sam’s or Costco. That way, you can enjoy the samples (though you might be “breaking” your secondary boundaries, so I recommend being intentional about focusing on the food since you will likely NOT be sitting down!) and it won’t break your boundaries. It can actually be your meal! If you end up not hungry and find yourself at one of those stores, then I recommend chewing gum as you shop, too. Again, it isn’t likely you will “accidentally” eat the samples if you are chewing gum.
A third place we may give in to “Yummy Food Eating” is at bible studies or fellowship groups. Again, you can plan your hunger (remember, this takes practice, so extend grace to yourself as you work on this!) or establish a secondary boundary, such as staying out of the kitchen. Again, if those options don’t work for you, chewing sugarless gum can.
It may sound like I chew a lot of gum! To be honest, I hate chewing gum, and you may as well. It is worth it while we are training ourselves to be more aware, though. It IS temporary! You won’t feel like you always have to do this. But for now, as you are realizing the moments of your life when you unconsciously may have had tastes of food that resulted in a “mess up,” it may do the trick.
Some of you work in an office where snacks and temptations abound literally all day long. You can “strike early” by taking samples of the foods in the office staff room and putting them in your own container in the fridge. Then you can have them when you are hungry! You can enjoy the items that other people brought without breaking your boundaries.
Plan ahead. Think through the day. Are there any potential opportunities for “Yummy Food Eating” to come calling? What will you do to prepare for it?
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CONTEST WINNER: I will make that announcement later tonight. I hope you will check back!
Day 2 of the “Ditch Your Scale” Challenge: How is it going? Did you stay off the scale today? Did you need to renew your mind about it at all? Are you off to a good start today? What thoughts have you had about this as you have given this to the Lord? 🙂
Below is a video that I made to help people understand what it means to renew the mind…what it is, how to go about doing it and why!
I hope it helps you.
Thanks again to Barb Raveling for her help in understanding how to practically apply the wisdom of Romans 12:2!
Summary:
Renewing the Mind is, simply, thinking God’s thoughts after him.
First, choose a renewing of the mind goal. Why? Because it is our thinking that causes us to act. If we want to act differently and see different fruit in our lives, we need to start where actions are birthed–in our thoughts! What do you want to think differently about? The scale? Your body? Food? Your marriage? Your job? Probably, for our study coming up, you will want to select something that has to do with food, eating or weight, but it is your choice. Maybe you are an emotional eater, so you need to think differently about processing emotions. Maybe you don’t feel like you trust God. You might want to renew your mind about God’s character. So first thing, you want to pick a renewing of your mind goal.
Secondly, select times of the day when you will proactively choose to think God’s thoughts about whatever it is. First thing in the morning is a good idea for most of us since it might set the tone for the entire day. If you struggle in your marriage, you might also want to plan a renewing of your mind session for just before you see your spouse. If it is about food, you might need a mini-renewing of your mind session before you eat each time you eat! Let’s dive in and do this for all we are worth. Give it just a few weeks of diligence and hard work and you will be amazed at how you are impacted! You can also renew your mind in the middle of giving in to behaviors that are counter to your godly goal or after you have given in. It is best to plan a time before that happens, of course! But even if you “blow it,” you can renew your mind about whatever it is after the fact and it will help!
Thirdly, select strategies for actually thinking God’s thoughts after him. In this video, I share some ideas for that, but it is by no means comprehensive. You can use Barb Raveling’s I Deserve a Donut app. You can read scripture or review memorized verses. The bible is clearly where God shows us his thoughts, so it is a safe place to land to find things to think about for renewing your mind. If you want to be more specific, you can do what I have done. On an index card, piece of paper, on a file in your laptop or your cell phone or iDevice :-), you can create a file or jot down a list of TRUTHS about whatever it is that you want to think differently about. Then, each of the times that you renew your mind, you would read those things…preferably out loud. Pray over them and ask God to work them deeply into the soil of your heart and mind.
Also, in the video I say one of the things I like about 0 to 5 eating is that it is easy. Then I talk about Barb’s app and mention that 0 to 5 eating is hard. What I mean by that, is when I am tempted to stray away from it, THEN it is hard. That is when I need to stop myself from whining about how “hard” it is. It is always going to be hard to obey. But the principles are easy, simple, and doable!
I hope this helps clarify what renewing the mind is! 🙂
