“Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”
Luke 10:40
The month of December is packed with crammed schedules, stretched budgets, and the ever present assortment of sweets, alcohol, and all-night shopping. Whatever your particular temptation, it will be waiting for you in abundance. When we add in the visits from family and far away relatives, there is a potent brew of stress swirling around us. We can be so easily distracted by it all, and miss the good gifts God wants to give us this year.
If you tend to get a little (or a lot!) stressed out by Christmas, you’re not alone. Christmas is an emotionally-charged holiday. A Consumer Reports survey found that 90% have at least one thing we dread about the holidays. Dread is a strong word; it implies a gnawing fear about something we have no control over. Let me share my top three things I am tempted to dread, and then I’ll share my secret for stressing less.
1. Body: At Christmas, I often visit with relatives whom I haven’t seen all year. Many times, other women will want to talk about weight and diets. Sometimes, other women might even comment on my weight. Even if they are complimenting me on “winning” the war with the scale, I am immediately tempted into pride or fear or even resentment. Any discussion of weight or diets is like sticking a finger into old emotional wounds. No matter what is being said, it can stir unpleasant feelings.
2. Money: Obsession tends to shift around in my life, looking for a home. If I stop obsessing about weight and food, I can easily start obsessing about money. And during the holiday season, the extra spending makes me feel uncomfortable. I am often tempted to blow my budget, just like it was a diet. “Oh, well,” I might think. “I’m spending so much on everyone else, I might as well blow the whole budget.”
3. Expectations: I want my house to be decorated and clean. I want everyone to be happy and the kids to get along. I want to feel the magic of Christmas in my heart from the moment I wake up until I collapse from exhaustion at night. The problem is, I don’t have a set designer, a food stylist, or even a maid. I do, however, have PMS and occasional insomnia. I just can’t ever seem to meet my own expectations. And neither can Christmas. Sometimes I secretly wonder what is wrong with me…
It would seem that Christmas could give me, and all of us, plenty of reasons to overeat! Christmas can be emotionally-charged because there are so many opportunities to be aware of the aching hole in our hearts. And when we try to fill the hole, we often fill it with the wrong things. Spiritual bondage is defined as filling the hole in our hearts with things that only make the hole bigger.
So how can we navigate the season with joy? How do we fill our hearts with what they need? For me, the secret is thinking small. The bigger my fears, the larger my problems seem, the smaller my focus must become. In particular, I am focusing on 0-5 eating, and here’s why:
Living within the boundary of 0-5 eating seems to pay extra dividends during the holiday season. With all the triggers and temptations around me, staying within safe boundaries eases all my stress. The comfort of this one godly boundary soothes my nerves. It’s like my heavenly Father draping His strong arm around my shoulders.
0-5 eating pays dividends all year long, of course. But during Christmas, 0-5 eating keeps me focused on Jesus. As I focus on following His lead in this one area, all the other distractions and dreads seem to fade into background noise. Christmas, with all its necessary preparations, becomes a quieter, sweeter experience. What comes to me as a test of faith (giving up that extra piece of fudge!) becomes the key to release from all my other my burdens.
How about you?
What is it about the Christmas season that seems daunting to you today? Have you ever noticed that keeping one godly boundary, even imperfectly, seems to make the whole day more peaceful? How could the godly boundary of 0-5 eating bring you comfort and peace this Christmas season?
Ok, so maybe I haven’t posted about truth cards 856 times. In fact, I think I have only posted a half a dozen times specific truths that are in my truth cards.
Do you find it helpful? I hope so!
It certainly helps ME to review them yet again and I hope it helps YOU to have some “ammo” so that you can take captive runaway thoughts and replace them with God’s truth! 🙂
In my years of being on this journey with Thin Within (since 1999), I have found that for me and many others I have spoken with Entitlementis perhaps one of the number one challenges leading us to eat outside of 0 and 5. I know I say that about everything, but this time I mean it! 🙂
Seriously, if we can recognize when an attitude of entitlement has reared it’s ugly head and stop it dead in its tracks, I think we will find that a lot of our eating outside of 0 and 5 STOPS.
Reviewing truth about entitlement is a great way of doing that.
1. When I feel entitled, I feel like eating *anything* I want because I *deserve* it. THIS IS A LIE.
2. I do NOT have a “right” to eat in that particular situation. God ALONE determines when it is time for me to eat.
3. God is DISHONORED by my attitude of entitlement. He wants me to approach all His blessings with humility.
4. When I live by my “rights” and feelings in the area of food and eating, I OVEREAT and GAIN WEIGHT. I AM MISERABLE PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, and SPIRITUALLY.
How About You?
Does an attitude of entitlement affect you at all? Does it cause you to reach for food out of the boundaries that you believe God has set for you?
After the first “freedom” phase of Thin Within–the phase where we have tossed aside our former dieting mentality and all the “Good Food/Bad Food” lists that restricted us in our dieting days–we move on to the second phase–the discernment phase. This is when many people begin to notice that they actually enjoy foods that they had to eat when they were on diets. So sitting down to a wonderfully, nutrient-rich salad may end up being a “whole body pleaser” experience for you. Not only is that ok, but it is desirable!
That is…UNLESS you allow certain thinking (and acting) to kick in!
There are some potential pit-falls to be aware of as you head into the discernment phase and begin to select more nutrient-dense foods.
Pitfall Number 1:Many of us come from dieting pasts when fresh fruits and vegetables were considered “freebies.” We didn’t have to “count” them so we could have them as often as we liked. If we bring this thinking into our Thin Within program, it will mean that we will justify eating those foods even if we aren’t yet at a 0. Remember that no matter what form your fuel comes in–a candy bar OR a salad–if your body doesn’t need the fuel (as indicated by clear hunger signals) it will be stored on your body…as…well, you guessed it: Fat! So whatever you select as the food you will eat at any time, you want to do so only when you are at a clear “0”–physically hungry.
Pitfall Number 2:There is a tendency to think that because it is nutrient rich, it is a carte blanche for eating MORE of it. So, as we sit down to eat a salad (or celery or carrot sticks–or even fresh salsa!) it isn’t uncommon to do some “justification eating.” To justify having a larger portion than we need because it is, after all, a “healthy” food. Again, no matter what form the fuel comes in, if it is more than our bodies need, we will store it as fat.
Pitfall Number 3:When we eat more of a food–even a food like salad, carrot sticks, etc, we get used to quantity. We can overeat even salad. We begin to get desensitized to the feeling in our stomach that sends us the signal that we don’t need to eat that much. We then take this desensitization into eating other foods which means “energy dense” foods (or what we called “high calorie” foods in our dieting days) are then consumed in greater amounts as well, without our feeling quite so bothered by the feeling in our stomach that, had we been faithful to 0 to 5, would be uncomfortable for us.
The solution to avoiding all three of these pitfalls is to keep in mind that no matter what foods you select, you want to do so according to physical hunger–a true need for fuel–and physical satisfaction.
When you select a beneficial food like a fresh garden salad be aware of the potential to justify eating outside of your primary boundaries and the impact this can have on you the rest of the time!
How About You?
Do you see this thinking at work in you? Do you tend to think of salad and other similar foods as “freebies?” Is this affecting how sensitive you are to “5” so that you are more likely to overeat other foods as well? What will you do about this going forward?
We have all experienced temper tantrums. Usually, the context is our kids’ attempts to get their way…or maybe it’s someone else’s kids. 🙂
But have you ever wanted to throw a temper tantrum? Or forget the “wanted to throw” … have you ever just plain ol’ pitched a royal fit? (Or maybe you aren’t like me? LOL!)
God works with me in themes and today’s theme seems to be “temper tantrums.” It has hit me from several sources…and, if I am honest, I am throwing one very UGLEEEEEE, giant temper tantrum all over the place today. (But that is another story, with the telling best left for another decade.)
An epiphany just hit me…as I was typing this post, I mis-spelled “temper” and it came out on the keyboard:
TempTer Tantrum
Interesting. I don’t need to wonder long in the context of my own “TempTer Tantrum” to know that the Tempter–ol’ Satan himself–likely laughs with glee as I “indulge” in pitching my fit. TempTer tantrums have entitlement and justification written all over them!
This morning, my husband stumbled out to the deck where I was having my quiet time. He was groggy, rummy, bleary-eyed and somewhat sleep deprived, I guess. Some of his first words were, “I don’t feel like eating 0 to 5 any more…”
Having my iPad handy, I invited Bob to have a seat, then tapped “record.” The following sound byte is the result. Don’t be awed however…this was actually a conversation that took the better part of a half an hour. I have whittled it down to three and a half minutes. You will see where Bob started with his temper tantrum…and where he ended.
Adriane also mentioned a temper tantrum in her most recent Sound Cloud file. I thought I would share it with you as well. Thanks, Adriane, for being so real! I love how she intends to use this file to remind herself of just how AWFUL it feels when we GIVE IN to a tempter tantrum!
(Email subscribers will probably have to come to the blog site in order to take advantage of the sound files. It is worth it! Come on over!)
Questions for Your Consideration:
1. Can you relate to having what Adriane calls “an adult temper tantrum?”
2. You might want to spend some time truth journaling what you feel when you throw a temper tantrum. What are the reasons you are most likely to pitch your fit? Use what you journal to make a truth card or two. Lots of things in Adriane’s Sound Cloud file would make an excellent truth card.
3. What is true about your temper tantrums? (Does it make you feel better? Closer to God? Solve a problem?)
4. What is true about what you are entitled to? (You might want to consider this from God’s perspective. Check out Romans 3:23 and Romans 6:23a.)
5. In what ways has God chosen to bless you?
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Note: Don’t forget to register for today’s webinar if you plan to come. It is at 3pm Pacific Time (5pm Central, 6pm Eastern). Info below:
Please register for Entitlement Eating – Thin Within Support – Week 4 Renewing of the Mind on Jul 10, 2013 3:00 PM PDT at:
“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never ben sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”
Many of us have experienced feeling these things. Some of us may even live by this sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).
What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?
This week, we talk about these things. Come on along. The price is $0 for another week!
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.
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“I don’t care what my boundaries are…I wasn’t thinking about life on a day like this one when I ‘committed’ 0 to 5 eating.”
“Given what I am facing, surely God doesn’t expect me to just be ‘good’ after a day like today!!!”
“It’s just not fair. How come my sister can eat whatever she wants and never gain weight! It makes me crazy!”
“I am going to hang out on the boat this weekend with the ice chest, snacks, good friends, and just kick back. I’m not going to worry about my eating for a day! I have been good, after all. I deserve a break!”
Can you identify with these statements? Chances are, we all can.
In our society we are told that we deserve the best, we deserve all we can grab. Life should be fair! There is never a need to be sad or uncomfortable with so many options for making ourselves feel happy!
These are lies that we sometimes tell ourselves–lies that take us outside of our God-given boundaries of eating between physical hunger and physical satisfaction. If we want to really experience the victory that we have longed for, we have to be willing to recognize the lies when they appear and replace them with God’s truth. That is what our “Renewing of the Mind” bible study is about this summer. We want to change the way we think, because what we think, affects what we believe, and what we believe, affects our actions. Our actions over time establish patterns and it is those patterns that bring forth fruit in our lives…the results that we either rejoice in or are discouraged by–both in our character and outwardly.
If we want to choose a fruitful life that reflects the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives, we have to start with what we tell ourselves. How often do we tell ourselves we are entitled to “the good life?” Is this creating an unworkable belief that runs counter to realizing our godly goals?
Here is a 7 minute video on this subject (if you are an email subscriber, you may have to visit the website in order to see it):
I believe that if Justification is a primary reason we eat outside of our 0 to 5 boundaries, then Entitlement is its twin. Truly, if we could eliminate Justification Eating and Entitlement Eating, much of our eating outside of 0 and 5 would stop altogether!
Consider how wonderfully refreshing it is to live with integrity, acknowledging and praising the God of the Universe as he walks personally with you, inviting you into a life of discovery. He is sufficient! No, maybe not in the way we have come to expect in our world of drive-thrus, instant coffee, and microwave ovens. We think we are entitled to bigger, faster, and more. But our God IS huge! His glory fills the entire earth and he invites us to step up into intimacy with him–even as we train ourselves for godliness. It is SOOoooo worth it!
Assignment:
1.) Each week, I have asked you to evaluate if GOD has called you to a primary boundary of eating 0 to 5. If you aren’t convinced that this is something God is calling you to do, I believe you won’t be successful. You will find a million reasons NOT to eat 0 to 5. But if you know God is calling you to do it, if you have a conviction that is deep and abiding, then write it down in your journal and each time you reaffirm that this is, indeed, a conviction that comes to you from God, date it in your journal. I urge you to do this today, too–even if you already did yesterday.
2.) Evaluate if you need to adjust your secondary boundaries. Have you successfully lived with the secondary boundaries you established for yourself previously? It might be time to move forward…to add another one or tweak a prior secondary boundary. For those of you new to this, if you have noticed that you are unaware of physical satisfaction as it approaches, you can observe and correct–see if there are any trends as you look over the past week or so. Are your eating occasions outside of 0 to 5 (your primary boundary) when you are in the car? When you watch TV? Typically limited to one food in particular or when you are with a certain friend? If so, this provides the perfect opportunity to establish a secondary boundary to support you relative to that trend. If you are unclear what secondary boundaries can be helpful to you, post a question here in the comments section. Chances are, someone has dealt with the same challenge as you and has an idea for some supportive secondary boundaries!
3.) Visit this page at Barb Raveling’s website–read and do the bible study and journaling activities on the page. You can print her blog post out and then journal your answers if you like.
4.) What do you believe about entitlement? How has it been affecting your eating?
5.) In the video, I gave the example of my driving as another area of my life where I struggle with an attitude of entitlement. How about you? Where do you see an attitude of entitlement: “I deserve the good life.” “Life should be fair.” or “I shouldn’t have to suffer!” affecting you? What are God’s truths about these situations?
6.) In the video, I mention four steps that can help you eliminate an attitude of entitlement. Try one (or more) of the following and see if it helps you!
Create Truth Cards that remind you daily the truth about entitlement, what God’s view of this is, whether life should be fair or not, and all that comes to the one who is willing to suffer if God calls you to do so. Here is a video about Truth Cards.
7.) Share here with us what God shows you about “Entitlement Eating” this week. How can we pray for you?
8.) Recording of our online class from this week of study (it is a sound file only, so don’t expect a video):
Description:
“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never be sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”
Many of us have experienced this. Some of us may even live with a sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).
What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?
