I have worked through all four of the Thin Within workbooks.
I have worked through the Thin Within book.
I have led Thin Within groups three times in the last ten years.
I am a certified Wellness Coach and Pilates instructor.
I teach.
I KNOW this stuff!
And yes, here I am, still yearning for freedom, still waiting on God. Still wondering when I will be set free from struggling with excess eating and excess body weight.
Perhaps it’s precisely because I am immersed in the world of fitness that I am easily distracted and find it hard to keep my eyes fixed on the path that I know is the only way to freedom in this.
A few months ago I invested in a season of private coaching with Heidi Bylsma; a very wise decision! I remember sending her my daily logs with my “hunger numbers”—almost always reporting 0 to 5 eating. And yet I saw no weight loss and felt no progress happening. Heidi pointed out the discrepancy. ☺ As is the way of a good coach, Heidi put the observation out there and left it to me to wrestle with: “Brenda, you report eating within your chosen boundary of 0 to 5 on a consistent basis, yet you say you are not seeing the results you’d hoped for.”
In my wrestling, I decided I needed to more clearly define a “5.” Obviously I was eating past 5, so in my mind the solution was to get better at stopping at a 5.
One morning God turned the light on for me; all I had worked on with Heidi became clear as I read through the book of Joshua.
I came to the part where the land is being divided up between the tribes of Israel. I noticed how clear and precise the boundaries were and I started thinking how boundaries are important to God—God gives us boundaries for our safety, health and because He knows what is truly good for us.
In Joshua 18 the Scripture tells us that there were still seven Israelite tribes who had not received their inheritance. And Joshua says to them, ” How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord the God of your ancestors has given you?”
God spoke to me through that—How long am I going to wait until I do MY part to take possession of the freedom that God has given me?
It’s my inheritance!
God has given it to me, but it is up to me to do my due diligence and receive what God has for me.
For me, at this point in my journey, trying to more precisely define a “5” on the hunger scale is not where God wants my focus.
I believe He is showing me that my part is to do what it takes to place myself before Him every single day for the renewing of my mind; soaking in the truth of His Word, writing Truth Cards as a daily practice, being honest about where I am spiritually and what I am doing, as well as what I am eating.
Sunday morning at church God again spoke to me—this time through a guest speaker. She was teaching from Genesis chapters 2 and 3, and she came to Chapter 3 verses 8 and 9, where Adam and Eve have disobeyed God and eaten from the one tree in the garden that He had forbidden. In verse 9 God calls out to Adam, saying, “Where are you?
I believe that God is asking that of me as well. “Where are you with ME, Brenda?” Are you living in all the abundance I have given you, or are you in a place of rebellion? What tree are you choosing?”
To me it’s a really big deal is that I finally have taken my eyes off of seeking weight loss above everything– although I haven’t given up and I do still want it. It’s that now I am seeking FIRST the kingdom of God; seeking GOD through specific, daily practices so that my focus turns away from food and body obsession.
I have learned that the daily practices of prayer, Bible reading, writing and reading Truth Cards, praising God in song, lifting my face to Him will bring about the renewing of my mind and the transforming of my heart, my body, and my life. And then eating within the boundaries of 0 to 5 will be a natural result of my decision to claim my inheritance and choose the abundant life He alone offers.
~ Brenda Ameli. Brenda lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, teaching mind body movement and leading the women’s ministry at her church.
How About You?
Is it possible that “thin” or “0” or “5” has actually become a distraction from what God wants for you? Does God want you to focus elsewhere? What might responding to His invitation in this look like for you?
Is overeating really sin? Is that one extra bite rebellion against the Lord?
I really struggled with those questions. It was one of the things in the Thin Within material that I had a hard time grasping. To be honest, over the years, when I would get to about Day 7 in the Thin Within book, I wouldn’t be able to push through any further. I really didn’t think I needed God’s forgiveness or grace when I took that one extra bite or overate. I would think, “Come on! It’s just food! It’s just one extra bite! What’s the big deal? Doesn’t God have other things to be concerned about? Why does this have to be so spiritual?”
And then my eyes were opened.
I had been praying about this and asking the Lord what His truth was about it in my life. Then one evening, I really wanted to make popcorn to eat during a movie my husband and I were going to watch. I knew I wasn’t hungry for the popcorn, but I just kept on thinking about it. Finally, I decided I was going to make popcorn. As I poured the freshly popped popcorn into a big wooden bowl, I heard the Holy Spirit gently ask me if I would not eat the popcorn since I wasn’t hungry. And like an annoying fly buzzing around, I flicked that request off. How could I resist now? Oh, the delicious scent of hot-buttered popcorn! And then, as I scooped some popcorn into my smaller bowl, the Holy Spirit asked me again if I would refrain from eating the popcorn. Flick! No thank you, I’m going to EAT this popcorn, thank you very much! So I sat down, began the movie, and about 2/3 of the way through my bowl of popcorn the Holy Spirit asked again, gently, if I would stop eating since I wasn’t hungry. Obediently, I put the bowl down and didn’t take one more bite.
He was so gentle. I was so rebellious. I lusted after that popcorn. I hardened my heart against the Holy Spirit’s guidance. I was like that Israelite demanding my way as I puttered around in the wilderness; just give me the leeks and onions! I didn’t want God’s manna or His provision. I wanted MY way in MY time! In essence, I wanted to go back to that slavery. Instead of deliverance and freedom, I wanted the easy way out.
Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. Hebrews 4:7b
I don’t want to harden my heart. I want to love the Lord with all of my heart, mind and soul. I don’t want to hold anything back. I have to die to myself, to my fleshly, selfish desires in order to live for Him.
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. Romans 13:14
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
Matthew 22:37
And it was at that moment I realized that I am not honoring the Lord when I take that extra bite knowing I don’t need it or when I overeat. I was placing food over Him.
This has been a hard truth to swallow. I would rather not digest it. I want to be in denial, but I clearly saw my rebellion that day when I hardened my heart. I chose to fall into temptation—to sin. Temptations will come, but I had a choice to make. I chose to follow my flesh instead of following after the Spirit. God provided a way out of the temptation, but I chose to take the other path.
When we are hungry, we eat. Food is fuel for our body. So what happens when we consistently go outside of God’s bounds of eating outside of hunger? We gain weight, we feel stuffed, we don’t like the way we look or feel, etc.
Why would we need food outside of hunger? What are we truly “hungry” for when we want to eat when we aren’t physically hungry?
I could replace that “hunger” with food, alcohol, sex, drugs, or any other substance or addiction, but it will never fulfill what I’m truly hungry for. As Heidi says, only God can fill that God-size hole that needs Him in our heart.
Maybe you are reading this and you might think that this doesn’t make sense for you. Maybe you feel that it’s legalistic to say one extra bite is sin. I would encourage you to ask the Lord about this in your own life. Ask Him to show you the truth about this for you. Maybe you aren’t at that place in your journey where it’s clear. Maybe the Lord is working on other areas right now.
Another thing I do is I check the motivation of my heart. Something I think about often is something that is asked in the book Intuitive Eating: would I deny a bride and groom their bites of wedding cake after the cake cutting if they weren’t truly hungry? It’s not their motive to indulge. There have been times after a meal at a friend’s house where I’m not really hungry anymore, but I will eat a little serving of dessert. I will check in with the Lord and there are times where He says that it’s ok, that my heart is in the right place. But I really think this is something personal between you and the Lord. This isn’t an excuse to eat whenever you feel like it. It’s not to justify eating another bite when you know God is saying it’s time to stop. You will know because the Holy Spirit will show you.
God is bringing me to a place of wanting to honor Him more and more with eating. I want to glorify Him in all that I do. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I don’t want to follow after the flesh. I don’t want to lust after food. I don’t want to harden my heart. I want to follow the Spirit and grow closer to Him.
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. Romans 8:5
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. Titus 2:11-12
If we do choose to purposely overeat, we can ask the Lord to forgive us.
“The surest way to return to the path of God’s provision is by repentance. As we observe, we identify the truth about our behavior and agree with God that a correction is in order. We then confess the truth we observe, and identify the faulty thinking and fleshly behaviors. He further places with us a desire to make the godly correction. This is repentance, and it results in returning to the path of God’s provision where we are filled with peace, joy, and rest” (Thin Within page 248-249).
And knowing that God has forgiven us as we repent, we can continue on our journey of honoring Him. There’s no need to beat ourselves up with the club of condemnation. You don’t have to eat with the attitude of, “Well, I messed up, I guess I will just eat whatever I want, whenever I want the rest of the day.” This isn’t a diet we’ve gotten off track with or have eaten up all of our daily calories, points, fat grams, carbohydrates, etc. This is observing that we’ve overeaten, repenting, and then continuing on the path of God’s provision. And then you just wait until you are hungry again to eat. I find this so refreshing!
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:1
There are times I find myself being tempted to eat when I’m not hungry. I’m learning to ask God for help during those times. And He is always willing. We can call upon Him!
I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-2
How about you?
Where do you find your thoughts when you think about overeating or one extra bite as sin? I want to encourage you to ask the Lord what this looks like for you. Are you eating because you are trying to fulfill a hunger only God can fill? Do you find yourself lusting after food and eating with a rebellious attitude? Ask the Lord to show you: He will! And He won’t just stop there, He will show you how you can turn your eyes from lust to fixing your eyes upon Jesus!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalms 27:14
We read time after time in the Bible to “wait” on the Lord. If you google “wait on the Lord scripture,” you will find dozens of related verses. Waiting on Him is associated with good, hope, strength, courage, mounting up with wings like eagles, compassion, mercy, and rest, among other things. I was thinking the other day about King David and how he wanted to build the temple so that God would have a glorious dwelling place.
Then King David rose to his feet and said: “Hear me, my brothers and my people. I had it in my heart to build a house of rest for the ark of the covenant of the Lord and for the footstool of our God, and I made preparations for building.
I imagine David was so excited about his plan, like I am when I plan a home renovation, garden plantings, or a vacation. He may have lain awake at night making sketches in his head. He may have thought about all of the details, the gold overlay and the fabulous carvings, where the ark would rest, and how he would acquire building materials. But then God makes him wait. He says ‘You may not build a house for my name.” (1 Chronicles 28:3). Imagine David’s disappointment as his plan is foiled. But, David listens and obeys and his plan comes to a screeching halt. In the end, he is given permission to make a plan of the temple (through God’s guidance) and to prepare materials for his son Solomon to build the temple, but he does not build it himself. He doesn’t see the finished product in his lifetime. He chooses to wait on the Lord and follow His plan, and he is blessed for his obedience.
I think David can be an incredible lesson for those of us on this Thin Within journey. In our culture of immediate gratification, we want to not wait in so many ways. We may have a plan for what we want to wear to that reunion, wedding or beach trip. We may want to be a certain size by a particular date. We may ask for complete freedom from our food and body issues – today, not tomorrow. We may want that food, the ice cream, chips or burger, right now, although we are not hungry.
I want to challenge us to think about waiting on the Lord. Wait for Him to show us when to eat and when to stop. Wait for Him to show us what to eat. Wait for Him to show us what a surrendered life looks like. And let’s scrap our plans for “perfect” bodies or for fitting into that dress or for achieving a certain size. He put the hunger and satiety signals in our bodies and created each one of our bodies. Wait on Him to show you how to treat your body. David wrote over and over again in the Psalms to “wait on the Lord.” Let’s follow his godly example! Check out Psalms 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 39:7, and Isaiah 40:31.
~ Carrie
How About You?
What do you get out of the passages Carrie shared with us above? What is God calling you to wait on? What is God calling you to let go of?
Let your eyes look directly forward,and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponderthe path of your feet;then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil. Proverbs 4:26
Night time eating is the most recent stronghold that I am seeking to overcome, with God’s help. The Lord has delivered me from the diet mentality, afternoon snacking, over-exercising and several other habits and obsessions. However, I was still holding onto eating after leaving the dinner table. Not eating several hours later when I was hungry, but almost immediately after leaving the dinner table with a satisfied belly.
The habit was created during my years on weight watchers – I would save “points” for the end of the day. While my husband put our son to bed, I could finally rest and relax – I had earned a treat and I was going to enjoy it! Fast forward many years and it was a daily habit, largely associated with emotion, that I was just not willing to surrender. I realized recently that I had to give it up, to surrender it. So, I thought I’d share some of my strategies that have helped me continue moving forward in this journey. (These strategies are in addition to the reading of Truth cards, reading scripture, prayer, praise music, etc).
Please understand that I had to draw a line in the sand to not eat after leaving the dinner table. Some of you may need a meal closer to bedtime, but I sleep better and feel better if my stomach is empty or close to empty at bedtime. So, I choose to close the kitchen after dinner!
1) I start every day with a commitment, a promise, to God that I will not eat after dinner. When I am tempted, I remember my promise and then my mind and heart turns toward my Lord. I know, too, that He provides a way out for me in temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).
2) I report to my accountability partner nightly on my success or failure on this point.
3) I track on my phone with a checkmark if I have stayed in this particular boundary. It gives me an easy way to see if I am stumbling or succeeding.
4) I review “my reasons to stay in my boundaries even when it is tough” daily. The reason that speaks to me the strongest currently is that I don’t want to be in this same place in 6 months. I want to be experiencing more and more freedom. I know that surrendering the nighttime eating is crucial to this growth. So, when I am tempted, I often ask myself “where do I want to be in 6 months?”.
5) I have started planning for a little sweet at the end of dinner. I will join my family in a small bowl of ice cream. And sometimes I don’t eat the ice cream. I am free to do either one!
6) I change the direction of my feet. TV watching is strongly related to the urge to eat after dinner. I am now watching a lot less TV at night. Now, especially when I am strongly tempted, I will take a bath. Or I might read a book or work on my Bible studies or call a friend. Or I just wait for my husband to come back downstairs. I just do not go near the TV and I try to stay out of the kitchen.
7) I memorize scripture so that in a tough moment, I can immediately go to the Truth. It helps me to pray my way through the tough moments.
8) When I do slip up, I observe and correct. I make a plan for next so that I will have a better outcome. I also may truth journal about my thoughts that I had before I broke my boundary.
I underlined the two strategies that have made the biggest difference for me. As of today, I surrendered this habit to the Lord 40 days ago. Quite biblical, isn’t it 🙂? I have had 4 nights where I slipped up and 36 nights when I was surrendered. I consider that a huge success when I look back and know that I was eating after dinner almost every night.
What About You?
What behavior of yours may be holding you back from total freedom? Pray about what steps you might take to help you overcome. Please share that that others may learn from you!
When I get mad at a family member (maybe sometimes even when I get mad at a mean church lady), I want to eat to “get back at them.”
This is just silly.
Stupid.
Ridiculous!
But somehow it has fueled much of my eating outside of 0 and 5 for years.
I think it began when I was a kid and my parents would abuse me over food doing all kinds of desperate things to try to get me to eat foods they felt I needed to eat and NOT to eat others. As soon as the ordeal was over, I would sneak cookies. Or ride my bike to the liquor store to buy candy bars with money I stole from my dad’s change stash. (True confessions!) I would do other things, too, just to “get back at them.”
So I guess I brought this behavior into my adulthood!
I became aware of it when I was a mother of a relatively young, rebellious pre-adolescent (who shall remain nameless). Said pre-adolescent with special needs (no less) required a great deal of me and there were times when I just had a major melt-down tantrum of my own. In a huff, I would grab the container of frosting (bag of cookies, chips, ice cream carton…whatever…it made no difference what) a spoon (if needed) and shut myself into the bathroom where I would relish my “I can TOO do what I want–you are NOT the boss of me–get back at them” eating or “Bratty Eating” for short.
Can you relate?
If I am honest, although said child 🙂 no longer lives here…in fact, my “nest” is pretty empty…I still can find myself doing “Bratty Eating.”
In those moments, when I pull out my truth cards or rehearse in my mind the things that I know are true, I come up with quite the arsenal to defeat this “Bratty Eating” and the bratty attitude that fuels it, too!
When I look at the Lord I serve and what he was called to experience when he walked the dirt of this earth, I realize that he was called to suffer. How can I expect to be called to something different? A life of ease? Really? I think I deserve that? And when I bump up against someone who bugs me, I think I should eat? Hmm…. seems to me I need to grow up just a bit! I am so thankful that my God is in the business of doing that very thing—growing his children, including me. Funny thing is…he often uses trials to do it! But he provides everything I need for life and godliness if I call on Him.
How About You?
Do you ever engage in “Bratty Eating?” If so, do you know what situations or individuals typically set you off? What truths can you cling to so that you can defeat this tendency?
~ Brenda Ameli. Brenda lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, teaching mind body movement and leading the women’s ministry at her church.
