When I get mad at a family member (maybe sometimes even when I get mad at a mean church lady), I want to eat to “get back at them.”
This is just silly.
Stupid.
Ridiculous!
But somehow it has fueled much of my eating outside of 0 and 5 for years.
I think it began when I was a kid and my parents would abuse me over food doing all kinds of desperate things to try to get me to eat foods they felt I needed to eat and NOT to eat others. As soon as the ordeal was over, I would sneak cookies. Or ride my bike to the liquor store to buy candy bars with money I stole from my dad’s change stash. (True confessions!) I would do other things, too, just to “get back at them.”
So I guess I brought this behavior into my adulthood!
I became aware of it when I was a mother of a relatively young, rebellious pre-adolescent (who shall remain nameless). Said pre-adolescent with special needs (no less) required a great deal of me and there were times when I just had a major melt-down tantrum of my own. In a huff, I would grab the container of frosting (bag of cookies, chips, ice cream carton…whatever…it made no difference what) a spoon (if needed) and shut myself into the bathroom where I would relish my “I can TOO do what I want–you are NOT the boss of me–get back at them” eating or “Bratty Eating” for short.
Can you relate?
If I am honest, although said child 🙂 no longer lives here…in fact, my “nest” is pretty empty…I still can find myself doing “Bratty Eating.”
In those moments, when I pull out my truth cards or rehearse in my mind the things that I know are true, I come up with quite the arsenal to defeat this “Bratty Eating” and the bratty attitude that fuels it, too!
When I look at the Lord I serve and what he was called to experience when he walked the dirt of this earth, I realize that he was called to suffer. How can I expect to be called to something different? A life of ease? Really? I think I deserve that? And when I bump up against someone who bugs me, I think I should eat? Hmm…. seems to me I need to grow up just a bit! I am so thankful that my God is in the business of doing that very thing—growing his children, including me. Funny thing is…he often uses trials to do it! But he provides everything I need for life and godliness if I call on Him.
How About You?
Do you ever engage in “Bratty Eating?” If so, do you know what situations or individuals typically set you off? What truths can you cling to so that you can defeat this tendency?
If you need more truths about 0 and 5 eating—or NOT eating 0 to 5—here are some more ideas. 🙂
Again…what do I DO with these cards? I review a few of them each day. Sometimes twice or more. That way, the truth is right there in my mind, ready to leap into my thoughts when I need it! If I know I struggle more at certain times of the day, then I will review my cards just before that time of the day. I PRE-EMPT the temptation!
1. When I eat 0 to 5 I have joy, peace, and delight.
2. When I don’t eat 0 to 5 I have guilt, frustration, and disappointment with myself.
3. Eating 0 to 5 I will land on a slender size that is right for me…not TOO thin and not too heavy. (Either is unhealthy!)
4. Not eating 0 to 5, I will always battle with my weight.
5. Eating 0 to 5 I never wonder what my size will do. It is predictable.
6. When I don’t eat 0 to 5, I wonder if I will “get away with it” forever.
7. When I don’t eat 0 to 5 I have a stuffed feeling after eating.
8. When I eat 0 to 5, I get to eat more frequently. Small meals, more frequently is a fun way to eat!
9. When I don’t eat 0 to 5, food doesn’t taste as good.
10. Eating 0 to 5 I get to enjoy LIFE!
11. Not eating 0 to 5, I am paranoid and self-conscious about how my clothes fit. I reach into the closet wondering how grave the damage will be.
How About You?
Are you adding truths to your deck of truth cards? How do you use these cards? How has using your truth cards helped you out? Share your story here and you may encourage another person!
Right now, as I write this, I am tempted to hit the fridge for some of my left over Chipotle burrito. I love Chipotle. There is nothing better than my Chipotle burrito unless it is, perhaps, my Chipotle burrito left over with some extra cheese and salsa! One burrito can easily give me three meals and, perhaps, even five!
Because it is so good, I find myself — right now — tempted to eat before I have a clear hunger signal. My “0” hasn’t arrived, though I can sense it is close.
So how does this entire renewing of the mind and truth stuff work? For me, it changes my now.
Because I have been working so hard at rehearsing the truth and renewing my mind with God’s truth (each morning and, often, each afternoon), I have automatically sort of gone through a little process this afternoon even while considering giving in to eating my burrito before having a clear 0 signal. I have thought about the burrito and how good it will be and these truths have jumped into my head to help me be victorious over the temptation:
1. The burrito will be there when I AM hungry. It isn’t going anywhere! (I know this is obvious, but when you are in the throes of temptation, sometimes, you don’t think straight!)
2. The burrito will actually taste even better when I am hungry….truly hungry…AND when I don’t have the hindrance of my convicted heart and going against my conscience!
3. That burrito, as yummy as it is, will not taste good enough to make me glad that I ate outside of my boundaries.
4. Giving in to eating that burrito would be practicing blasting out of my boundaries. I can, instead, use this moment (or momentS) of temptation as an opportunity to grow in my strength and resolve NOT to give in when I am tempted. If I give in now, I am practicing giving in to my temptations and will be more likely to do so the next time.
5. Right NOW is the time to be faithful to God and to my resolve…right NOW is the time to show respect for my body and to honor God with my eating, drinking AND abstaining!
6. If I give in right now, I am more likely to continue to struggle with desire eating all the time and to have the confusion about my body…I will keep struggling with my size as I never know what God has in mind for me if I keep eating outside of 0 and 5 boundaries. Eating within my 0 and 5 boundaries RIGHT NOW will help me to continue to faithfully stay on the path that will provide clarity…physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
7. It is possible that there is something else going on that I should deal with that eating when I am not hungry will only serve to mask.
Ok, so these are the truths that are off the top of my head and by going over them in my mind (and typing them up here!), I have talked myself into waiting for the 0 and into being faithful to what God has called me to do!
My conscience is free!
And…by the way…I am hungry now! YAY!
How About You?
What do you do when you can’t get a certain temptation out of your mind? Would it be helpful to start telling yourself about the situation, about the food, about the choices that are before you? If you are pro-active and practice thinking truth each day—whether or not you are being tempted at the time—then it is more likely that you will use these tools automatically when you are tempted. Is doing the work worth it?
Hi. A friend of mine who frequents this blog, sent me an email following my post last week on Truth Cards. I asked her if she would be willing to write a blog post to share her perspective with the readers of this blog. It is incredibly valuable, but one I have little experience with. I hope you will share the link with anyone you know who may need to see this!
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I find truth cards to be extremely helpful. But my truth, as someone who has suffered from years of restrictive food plans of my own making and through various anonymous organizations, seems to be almost the flip side of your truth.
One of your truth cards, which you shared with blog readers on 9/3/13, reads, “Today I will have to give up food I want to eat in order to follow my boundaries.” When I read that I immediately thought, “that is not true for me.” For me, I MUST eat food I want in order to follow my boundaries.
I had so many years of telling myself the following lies:
LIE #1. I cannot handle sugar.
LIE #2. If I start eating that binge food, I will never be able to stop.
LIE #3. There is something wrong with me at a cellular level.
LIE #4. The fact that I crave carbohydrates is evidence that I can’t handle them.
LIE #5. Desperate wanting (craving) is one step on the path to sinning.
Maybe these lies don’t ring a bell with you. If they do, if you have been like me and felt like you were evil for wanting things, and then denied yourself those very things in order to be “good,” then you can place yourself firmly in the “restrictor” camp.
I have been underweight, at my ideal weight, and overweight. I don’t think all restrictors are underweight. When I was overweight, I felt like a hypocritical restrictor. But wasn’t it inevitable? As I grew and matured physically and spiritually, I began to recognize the lies inherent in my beliefs. But that recognition was at a somewhat unconscious or perhaps semi-conscious level, and that’s when I transitioned from full-time restriction to binge eating. For me, binge eating is best described as intermittent restriction. It was restriction on the path to healing. But it was a very hard place to be, and it didn’t feel at all transitional. It felt permanent, and in fact it seemed like direct evidence that there was something very wrong with me. I told myself the lies, shouted them to myself sometimes, until eventually the unconscious or semi-conscious part of me said “NO!” and I ate every item of sugar that I could possibly stuff into myself in a short period of time. Bingeing seemed to confirm the lies, “see, I REALLY can’t handle sugar,” and “see, there REALLY is something terribly wrong with me.”
When I was finally able to see that the binges were actually created by the restriction and by my belief in lies, and I started to let myself eat the things I actually wanted, I was amazed and full of awe at the truths that God revealed:
TRUTH #1. I can eat sweets in moderation.
TRUTH #2. I can eat what I truly want and be satisfied.
TRUTH #3. There is nothing wrong with me (other than the fact that I believed a bunch of lies for years and years).
TRUTH #4. The fact that I crave carbohydrates is evidence that either I have overdone it in the sugar department and need some protein to balance out my overindulgence, or more likely, that I have not been eating enough carbohydrates and my body needs some sugar or complex carbohydrates to operate effectively.
TRUTH #5. Desperate wanting (craving) is a way of God communicating with me through my body. I can listen to God, honor my bodily signals, and take loving and nurturing action. Craving sleep, craving a hug, all my other cravings signal real needs that can be simply met. I do not need to be afraid. Cravings can be satisfied.
It all seems like a lot and as a person who is recovering from perfectionism, I tend to want to get it all right and find it overwhelming and want to retreat into a food plan that someone else has constructed because I still sometimes believe the lie that I am incompetent in the food department. When this happens, then I try to center on just one concept: My one goal for eating today is SATISFACTION.
When I am satisfied, I have no desire to binge. When I eat to satisfaction, I forget about food until next time I am hungry. In all those years of restriction, I was almost never satisfied, which is why I thought about food all the time.
Satisfaction is scary. It takes me to the next level. It solves my food problem and opens up new possibilities for me. I have been eating to satisfaction consistently for almost four months now. I have been eating to satisfaction and have been binge free for that entire time. This is coming from someone who five months ago and for the past 10 years before that was bingeing on average at least three times per week, with brief forays of binge free living that lasted at most six weeks at a time. It’s both a miracle and an incredibly simple answer to what seemed like a hugely complex problem.
It takes a lot of trusting in God to eat to satisfaction. But God is faithful, as always. If weight is a concern for you, then take heart. I had been bingeing heavily when I started, so I lost five pounds within the first week or two, of what for me has come to be known as “binge weight.” Over the subsequent few months, I’ve lost another five pounds. I am now at what I would consider an ideal weight for myself, a weight that I have not been at for over 10 years. And I got there by eating to satisfaction? Yup. Praise God!
Post by – Name withheld by request
How About You?
Prayerfully consider if you are someone who needs to write a different kind of truth in your truth cards. What does God’s Spirit testify to your heart? Are you, like my friend, in need of pressing on all the way to satisfaction? Are you restricting your eating in a way that is not trusting the body that God has given you? What is true for you? Are you willing to step out in faith and trust Him today?
Today’s post is another snapshot from my truth card deck.
Have you added to your truth cards just how great 0 to 5 eating is yet?
What truths will you add to your truth cards today about the blessings in 0 to 5 eating?
Take some time to review your truth cards today. Ask the Lord to show you if you BELIEVE what is written on them! If not, what will you need to do in order to truly renew your mind and be transformed?
