Choosing Jesus

Choosing Jesus

Recently while teaching my music classes, I was using a book that came with a CD.  It is an adaptation of the song “If You’re Happy And You Know It” (how many of you automatically sang in your head and next came “clap your hands”? )

I love this book and so do the children. The only thing I would change is on the CD is the book is read to music and not sung.   (I can always just sing it myself, but sometimes it is nice to have a vocal break and let a CD do it for me.)

PicsArt_02-23-07.58.32I have used this book for several years now and although it has two tracks on the CD, I always go to the first track because it has the “turn the page” signals on it.  It just makes it easier to read to a group.

Well, the other day I was using this book in my lessons and for some reason I accidentally skipped over to track 2 instead of the first track that I usually use.

GUESS WHAT?

THE SECOND TRACK SANG THE SONG! This is what I had been wishing I had for years and IT WAS ON THE CD ALL ALONG!  I just didn’t know it because I had never thought to go to the second track!PicsArt_01-05-10.11.14

Right there, in the middle of my lesson with my class….right there in the middle of the book CD singing away and me turning pages….Right there….GOD WHISPERED TO MY HEART.

 

That is Me, my child.  So often You try to do things on your own.  You automatically go to the things you think will work.  You try to draw upon your own power and intellect.  You go to what feels safe. BUT child, ALL ALONG what YOU really long for is RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.  It is ME.  I am there.  I am with YOU.  I give you the HOLY SPIRIT to guide you. Look for me and you will find me, for I am never too far from you.

How many times have I run back to the familiar?  To the food? To  the diet that has “worked” before to just take that number down on the scale, but nothing changed in my heart?

How many times have I chosen “track 1” over and over again because it is just what I always have done…..not thinking to even try “track 2”?

Right then I realized that just like that “track 1” on the CD was close to what I wanted and did the job, so it is with anything I try to do on my own.  I might be able to ‘do the job’…the diet might be able to ‘do the job’ but it will NEVER be what I REALLY want.  It will never truly fulfill.

Isaiah 55: 1-3

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live.

Did you notice that no matter how many times I chose the first track on the CD that the second one didn’t just disappear?  It was there “waiting” to be chosen.

So it is with Jesus.  No matter how many times I choose my own way…turn to food….eat outside my boundaries….think about dieting again…worry about my body shape…(fill in YOUR track 1 here)….

HE IS ALWAYS THERE, PATIENTLY WAITING FOR ME TO CHOSE HIM.

PicsArt_02-27-10.15.01Jesus tells us in His word that He will never leave us! (Matthew 28:20) He will never forsake us! (Deuteronomy 31:6,8)

His love and His way is always there for us. He reaches out to us with open arms, ready to embrace us and gently lead us on the path HE has laid out for us.

Oh, Dear Sisters (and Brothers), let’s examine our hearts today. Are we settling into our own comfortable ways?  Are we turning to things that truly do not satisfy?

Let’s run and jump into the Master’s Arms and surrender up these things. Let’s walk this path to freedom from diets and scales and body image and food obsession…..together.

 

 

Accepting & Loving Your Body

Accepting & Loving Your Body

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I had sweet baby Joel 5 days ago (when I started writing this).  He came right on his due date (February 12th) weighing 7lb 4 oz (my smallest baby) and 20 inches long.  He is healthy and sweet and sleepy. He does all of the things newborns do, including keeping his parents up at all hours of the night.  He is a sweet addition to our family.  We are all adjusting to the changes a newborn brings, and that includes adjusting to my post-pregnancy body.  In fact, I think we can all use a little “adjusting” to our body.  By adjusting, I mean accepting, loving, and embracing your body right where it’s at–no matter where you are at in life, no matter your current size.

I was inspired to write this post as I was laying down resting today.  Suddenly, I realized that my belly was no longer rounded, but flat (at least as I was laying down) and squishy. Obviously, I knew that my baby belly was gone, but it was just this deep realization that the baby is no longer taking up residence in my womb and that my body is slowly going back to its “normal” shape and size.  And instead of feeling this pressure that I *have* to reach my pre-pregnancy size, I felt this beautiful acceptance that I just had a baby and that my body is beautiful as it is.  I felt my squishy belly and thanked God for the beautiful miracle that just took place.  I give the Lord the glory and thanks that I’m not obsessing about getting back to a certain size, but that I can accept my body right where it’s at today.

So what is it like to experience eating 0-5 before, during, and after pregnancy?  It’s amazing! As I’ve said before, eating 0-5 works no matter what and that includes all seasons of life, including pregnancy and after baby comes.  My body knows exactly what it needs.  Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to “eat for two” and breastfeeding is the same.  Although, I find that I’m much more hungry while breastfeeding than while pregnant.  And that makes sense because the body needs a lot more fuel to produce milk for baby.  It’s pretty amazing how it really all comes together.  I don’t want to spend too much time talking about how TW works with breastfeeding (that will be for a future post); I wanted to expound more on accepting my body after having baby.

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During my pregnancy, I had my times of struggling with thoughts of being tempted to go back to a diet after having a baby.  But the Lord has clearly shown me how diets do NOT work (95% of diets fail and you gain the weight back plus more over time).  I struggled with thoughts about my body.  I remembered that I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans 2 weeks after having my 2nd child and I felt this pressure that I had better get back to that by then or if not sooner.  Wow, such unnecessary pressure I put on myself! (A few days after I started writing this post, I am in the next size down jeans.  So I’m not at my pre-pregnancy jeans size, but almost–praise God!  And a few weeks after starting this post, I’m able to [mostly] fit into my regular sized jeans).  But praise the Lord because my mindset is totally different now.  I’m going to love my body and accept it right where it’s at.  I’m going to do that by smiling at myself in the mirror and thanking the Lord for my body.  I’m going to cherish and respect this body God has blessed me with by being satisfied with His provision and eat between hunger and satisfaction (0-5).  I’m going to wear clothes that fit my present body.

One thing I wasn’t able to do much during my pregnancy was exercise.  I had all of these different physical things going on and it just wasn’t working to exercise on a regular basis.  I’m really looking forward to exercising again, but that could be weeks from now.  I will rest and respect my body.  I’m making an exercise goal, but I promise it’s not anything extreme or crazy. I’m going to exercise in ways that I enjoy and I’m going to wait until my body is ready and I’m well-rested.  I’m no longer going to put this crazy pressure on myself to have that “beach body”.  I’m not going to make my body a slave.  I’m going to give it the love, acceptance, and respect it deserves.  I am a child of God first and foremost.  I’m not going to conform to this world’s image; I’m all done with that.

These are not empty words.  These are all truths the Lord has been working and working on getting into my head (renewing of the mind).  I am not a number on a scale or the size of my jeans.  I am not my pre-pregnancy body.  I am who I am because of Christ.  It’s taken almost 3 years to (finally) accept these truths!  I’m so thankful that the Lord is so patient!

Wherever you are in your journey toward freedom, stop and ask yourself: what would happen if I accepted my body as it is, today, in this moment?  Would I give it more love?  Would eating between hunger and satisfaction happen more naturally?  Would I try shoving it into clothing that simply doesn’t fit or wear clothes that fit my present body?  Would I compare myself with air-brushed images or say ‘thank you’ to the One who made my body?

I know not everyone reading this just had a baby.  Maybe it’s been many years since you had a baby. Maybe one day you would like to have children.  Truth is, no matter what your body has done or how it’s changed over the years, you can accept it and love it and respect it right where it’s at.  You can honor God’s temple NOW.  Stop thinking you will only do this when you are that magic number on the scale (get rid of it!) or when you are “skinny”.  Thank Him NOW for the amazing miracles that take place each day in your body, whether it’s grown and birthed a baby, whether it’s gone through some miraculous healing, or even the simplicity of taking you from where you are to where you need to go and doing all of the necessary things needed for life (like breathing).  You were knit together by the Lord in your mother’s womb.  You were marvelously made!

Our body changes as we go through life.  It’s just a fact of life.  Let’s embrace and love and accept our body today!  Honor your hunger and honor your body by eating within those beautiful boundaries God has so lovingly designed.  Take care of yourself.  When you look in the mirror, thank God for your body; purposely thanking Him for those parts you aren’t so sure about.

P.S.  I found this really great article about the pressure the culture and media plays on women about getting their body back after having a baby and how it’s important to accept our new bodies.  Let me know what you think!

An Impostor of Shame

An Impostor of Shame

 

I have come to believe that one of the most disheartening consequences of being overweight is that we subconsciously begin to put on a cloak of shame and wear it daily, particularly when out in front of others.  The more we engage in the act of gluttony (eating excessively) the more fitted that cloak becomes, and the less our true selves are seen by those around us.  It’s as if we’ve allowed aCloakn impostor into our life, giving him free reign to swindle us, and cause us to assume a false character or personality.  In other words, we’ve let this impostor hide the real us.  For that matter, this cloak includes a personal mental covering of the original design God had in mind when He saw fit to breathe our lives into existence.  What a shame.  No pun intended.

I’ve noticed over my 15 year struggle how many things I’ve stopped doing because I am no longer physically or mentally comfortable in doing so.  I’ve been ashamed that I let myself go to the extent I have.  In fact, on a bad day when I’ve made a mental agreement with the enemy, I don’t realize it, but I look at myself differently.  In some ways, it has been debilitating.  For anyone who struggles with this you know what I’m talking about.  It’s no longer fun picking out clothes or getting dressed for the day, or swimming (even with your own family), and our comparison to others runs rampant.  We dress more to hide ourselves than to reveal.  Even the change of seasons can become less fun since wearing shorts is now dreaded and not looked forward to like it use to be.

Just recently I was sitting in church riddled with low self-esteem and comparison.  Unfortunately, the enemy had launched several mental assaults on my heart that morning and I made agreements with him, instead of combating him with the truth of God’s word.  So I sat, longing to be fit and lovely like the other women in our congregation.  And yet I felt inferior, less than, like I  didn’t belong.  I wanted to go back home throw on my pajamas and crawl into my bed as quickly as I could.  Needless to say, that Sunday was not a stellar day with regard to my eating and/or my food choices.  And it was my own fault.  I know better.  I know the Truth!

Before I go further let me qualify the word “overweight” since it is different for everyone.  For me, it is refusing to live within the boundaries God has set for me (zero to five eating), thus resulting in excess pounds, which causes me discomfort and a lack of peace.  It is also carrying more than God designed my physical body to bear.

On a more encouraging note, the wonderful thing about a cloak is that, according to the Oxford Dictionary, it is “an over-garment, hanging loosely from shoulders”.  It “conceals and disguises”.  In other words, it can (and should) be removed.  When Jesus Christ came to bring us the new covenant he gave us the opportunity to remove the cloak of shame and wear the garment of His grace every single moment of every single day of our lives.

Hebrews 10:16 says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”

This week I realized afresh just how important it is that I let God write his laws in my heart and on my mind.  To live apart from this is to live in shame and defeat.  It’s to live contrary to his original design of me.

Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.”

Radiant GirlIt’s important that in this “in between” place that we continue to look to him, so that those around us see radiance and not shame.  We no longer need to wear the cloak of our old man (shame).  We are new in Christ and this means the garments we now wear are new and they are free of shame.  Hallelujah!

What about you?  Do you find yourself wearing a cloak of shame or of radiance?  Are you dreading the upcoming change of seasons or are you looking forward to it?  Have you put together some truth cards that God can use to “put his law in your heart” and “write them on your mind”?  If not, let me encourage you to do so today.  You’ll be glad you did.

I shall not want…

I shall not want…

I am in the middle of a “Praying 40 Promises in 40 Days” challenge. I really needed to take this on as a project because my morning time with the Lord was lacking since going from part-time employment to full-time. At least that was the excuse I used. So, I made a commitment and I am here to tell you that I am so glad I did. It is amazing what just a short time in the morning with the Lord does for your day. It has helped me deal with the frustrations of learning a new job and it has helped me stay within my eating boundaries. I am also being reacquainted with some much loved Scripture verses.

My-Cup-Runneth-OverA recent promise was from Psalm 23:1. Don’t you just love the 23rd Psalm? I do. I think the 23rd Psalm is a favorite to many. It is probably the best known Psalm in the Bible for believers and even non-believers alike. It is the one that graces many funerals, and it is definitely a go to when we feel we are walking through a dark time. This is the Psalm many of us memorized as children and many of us can quote from heart (maybe not perfectly, but close enough).  Which are the stanzas that are the most powerful for you? We love thinking of lying down in green pastures and being led beside still waters. I get strength for my soul when I read that He leads me and that even in a dark valley, I need not fear evil for He is with me and His rod and staff comfort me. I really love the visual of my cup running over.  We love thinking about dwelling in the house of the Lord forever. Are you with me? What am I leaving out? Um…verse one. My journey in Thin Within/Hunger Within makes me believe that verse one is the most important. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. Why do I gloss over this verse and go on to the others? Maybe I don’t really want to give up my wants? Maybe I am too comfortable in wanting what I don’t have? Maybe I am afraid to trust the Lord to give me what I think I need and want? Maybe I want to stay in control?

Jesus the Good ShepherdLook with me at the truth of these Holy Spirit inspired words. The first half of Psalm 23:1 talks about Jesus. He is my shepherd and your shepherd. A shepherd takes care of his flock. He feeds, cares and protects. A good shepherd would sometimes put himself in danger in order to go retrieve a lost sheep. This is a beautiful picture of our Lord Jesus Christ and how He loves and cares for us, even unto death for all of us who were once lost. The first half of this verse tells me Jesus’ part.

I'll do it my way...The second half of Psalm 23:1 is my part. I shall not want. With Jesus as my Shepherd, all my needs are taken care of by Him. If I still feel that I am lacking, then I might not be letting Him be the Shepherd of my life at all. If I am wanting more than what He has already provided for me then maybe I am following the wrong shepherd. Maybe I am trying to lead myself? I am remembering Isaiah 53:6 that says, we all, like sheep, have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way.

I don’t want to be this sheep anymore. I want Jesus to be my Shepherd. I don’t want to feel that I am lacking anything.  He has provided me with blessings beyond measure. I am ready to be led back into the pen. Doing it my own way is hard, and scary, and always leads me into trouble, and causes me to fall. My Hunger Within is telling me that I need my Savior who is like a Shepherd to lead me. So, Psalm 23:1b says,

“I shall not want…

What the world says is a perfect body

More food than my body needs

More exercise than what is moderate and healthy for me

A smaller size than the perfect one God has for me

The scraps off my family’s plates

To multi-task while eating

The goodies in the break-room just because they are there and everyone else is enjoying them because I am not hungry at the moment

To count points or calories or carbs

Dessert or seconds if I am no longer hungry

A snack just because I am watching TV or reading a book

a health issue that would force me to eat better (like that works in real life!)

Anything else that is not mine”

Lord Jesus, I am your sheep and I am prone to wander from Your care. I have wanted  to walk on my own path instead of following You.  Lord Jesus, I am so grateful that You were willing to go after me as I strayed and that You have brought me back into Your loving care. Lord, keep me close. I no longer want to do it my way! In Your name, I pray, Amen.

What about you? Are you ready to quit straying from the Shepherd that loves you to death? Will you join me in the sheep pen?

God sees you as BEAUTIFUL! (Who’s Opinion Matters Most?)

God sees you as BEAUTIFUL! (Who’s Opinion Matters Most?)

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When I was a very young child, I didn’t think much about my shape, size or weight. I was blind to what the world said about how a girl should look. I was not self conscious about the way I looked but had self-confidence in myself. I simply didn’t know any different. I look back on that and realize it was a place of freedom.

I teach preschool Music and Movement classes so I see this freedom, confidence and contentment regarding body image every day. When preschoolers come to my classes, they jump, move and sing without any thought to how others see them or what anyone thinks of their bodies.PicsArt_02-10-10.01.47

One example of this is when I had a very overweight student. When he would come to my classes, he could hardly get up off of the floor if he sat down. Despite this, he loved dancing, jumping and moving to the music! Not once was he embarrassed by how he looked while doing the movements. Even though he took longer to get up off of the floor, none of the other children even noticed!

What if I could see myself and other people in that childlike innocence? If I stopped comparing myself to what the world says is “beautiful”, maybe I wouldn’t be tempted to diet in order to have that “perfect body”.

But how do I do this when I am surrounded by a society that says only a size 4 is considered beautiful? Every day we are bombarded with media that screams “BE STICK SKINNY!”  This is something I will never be!  I am a curvy girl.  Even at my smallest size,  when I was TOO small by dieting like crazy and dealing with exercise bulimia, I had curves!

I have to decide whose opinion matters most.

The world will always see what they want to see.  Society will always deem beauty as whatever the fickle fashion dictates.  Do you know that 50-60 years ago there were ads to sell products to fatten you up?

old ads to gain weight2  old ads to gain weight3

That’s right! Being skinny was considered unattractive and being curvy was beautiful!  

So, back to my question. Who is going to determine how I feel about myself? If I am beautiful? Whose opinion matters the most?

Well, God tells me many things about who I am in Him.

It is HIS opinion that matters most!

1 Samuel 16:7

The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

Psalm 45:11PicsArt_02-10-12.18.34

For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Jeremiah 31:3

I have loved you, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.

2 Corinthians 5:17 

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Isaiah 43:1

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When I find my identity in Christ and His love, I can see myself as beautiful regardless of shape and size. I can eat within His beautiful boundaries of hunger and fullness regardless of what I look like.

That is freedom!

 “Lord, help me to see myself as you see me: marvelously made.”

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God sees you as BEAUTIFUL.