Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,
holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—
his good, pleasing and perfect will.
~Romans 12:1-2
Join me starting on Mondays for a “Weight Loss Bible Study” written by my friend, Barb Raveling at her blog. I love her stuff because it deals with the way we think. We want to CHANGE the way we think so that we change the way we interact with food permanently. God calls us to allow Him to renew our minds.
We will start with the first installment of her study on Monday, March 4 (or that is the plan), but don’t fear if you start late. ANYtime is better than never! 🙂
Of course, you don’t have to participate here. You could, instead, go directly to Barb’s website and respond in her comments section.
Barb’s material is awesome and definitely applicable in many respects to our Thin Within journeys, but please be aware that she isn’t a Thin Within participant. So, there are a few things in her study that I will throw a “Thin Within Spin” on! LOL! I hope you will join me here and DIALOG with me about it. In fact, it is time for a new contest! I haven’t had one in a couple of years.
For the duration of our study, any time you post a comment, I will put your name in a drawing. So if you comment one time, your name goes into the drawing one time. If you comment five times, your name will go in five times.
I will be giving away two Thin Within books and two of the newest release from the Hallidays – Hunger Within (which is an updated version of Silent Hunger, Get Thin Stay Thin, and Thin Again). I am not sure how long it will take us to work our way through the material, so we will go from March 4th possibly into May, doing her questions from her study on Mondays. This is a slow pace, and it is possible I will adjust that, but for now, that is the plan.
If you want to get a head start, go ahead and head over to Barb’s blog and begin with this page.
Have a look and then let me know…are you in? If you comment here, your name goes into the drawing for one of the free books!
In addition, to renew your mind, I highly recommend Barb Raveling’s I Deserve a Donut app for iPad. My review on it can be found here.
Above all the tools and tricks, I encourage everyone who is at this place…rest, be still, let go of the weight focus. Fix your mind instead on the author and perfector of your faith. He is worth it. This is about so much more than body, weight, and food.
Jesus didn’t die so we would be thin. He died for us so that we might be HIS. Let’s not forget that.
Obsessed with lights, reflections, and shadows, my golden retriever, Daisy, slams herself into the wall as I open the back door. The sun has just risen above the hill in the distance and Daisy is convinced that the prey animals–squirrels, perhaps–scamper a mass exodus on the facing wall, reflections moving in synchronization with the door. She earnestly assaults the wall to stop the invasion.
Never deterred by the obvious pointlessness of her behavior, the beliefs she possesses drive her to pursue the illusive prey.
Sometimes, she tries to “control” her urges. Body still…alert, watching, quivering…yet seemingly resolved to “leave it,” when, suddenly, she flings herself into the wall yet again, overcome by the urge that has ruled her for her seven years of life. Daisy has never successfully captured a reflection. Why she keeps at this behavior, one can only guess.
I wish I could explain that reflections have no substance and thinking differently is necessary in order to be victorious over the impulses she faces. I would expose the fact that believing the lies keeps her stuck in destructive and futile behavior.
Can you identify with Daisy? Do you keep slamming into a wall but feel like you accomplish nothing?
I wonder if you, like Daisy, might benefit from thinking differently.
My focus in the pages I have written here since 2006 has clearly been on the “success” that you will experience (losing weight) if you eat when you are hungry and stop when you are no longer hungry. Whether implied or stated explicitly, I have asserted that you will experience the physical transformation seen in my pictures (down the sidebar and elsewhere on this site)–that you will “release” all your extra weight and keep most, if not all, of it off your body permanently. That if you eat “0 to 5” and go to God for all the other reasons you are tempted to eat, you will be transformed!
This IS true, but this is only PART of the truth! Believing that 0 to 5 eating will physically transform you without incorporating the whole picture can actually perpetuate discouragement and, even, captivity. Without the context of a renewed mind, changed thinking, and new beliefs, 0 to 5 eating is just another diet.
I know some of you are dealing with this. You have done everything. You feel like Thin Within is a last hope. And some of you have tried TW, “released” weight, regained it, tried it again, lost weight, gained it again…and you find you are on another figurative treadmill…only now feeling more hopeless than before. I really believe this is the same behavior that Daisy’s reflection madness illustrates for us. We could restrain her externally, but true lasting change has to come from some place deeper. Somehow, she needs a new belief about reflections on the wall. Perhaps we need new beliefs about food, our bodies, about weight and about God!
We need to stop slamming into walls chasing something illusive! Maybe what we keep chasing is serving only to distract us from what is really worthy of pursuit.
I propose that we turn a new direction. I hope you will go with me down this new road. Instead of chasing lights on the wall, I want to chase hard after God. I want to pursue a transformed heart and a renewed mind. I don’t want to settle for a change in my body–I don’t want YOU to settle for that! Or for the promise that we think having a smaller body will offer us when SO MUCH MORE is offered by our great and generous God who lavishes grace and mercy on us so freely!
I want nothing less than God very God, breathing his life into me and through me. I want to sense his presence so powerfully, that it is palpable. I want to invite him to expose lies that I believe in a new way…not just if the truth feels better than the lie I have believed. Sometimes the lie feels good, even more “truthful” than the truth! That is why we grab at it. It is familiar. But nevertheless a lie.
I want to rebuke any lies that somehow whisper comfort and solace to me when I desperately long for it and there seems to be none forth coming. I want to be willing to stand cold, alone, bare before my God and trust him that if I am exposed and left standing it is for very good and perfect reasons.
Let’s stop slamming into the walls, led astray by what we are so convinced is true. Let’s take time to pause and consider together. Over the next weeks and months, I hope to do that here. And you are invited to join me.
Was there anything that I shared in this blog post that resonated or rang true for you? Won’t you share with me what that was/is?
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
– Proverbs 16:9
During my quiet time this morning, Proverbs 16:9 struck me afresh. No matter how much “predictability” I may feel life has, no matter how much I have structured things, it is actually God alone who has things completely planned and figured out.
I had no idea when I read that this morning, just how this would flesh out.
Knowing that my mom has been lingering, rallying, lingering, rallying in various stages of health, slowly heading toward a transition out of this life, yesterday, at church, a good friend suggested I write a letter to my Mom. She suggested that if I had the chance, I could then read it to her, even as she sleeps.
I liked the idea and knew I needed to carve time into my overly-stuffed schedule to do that. How would I find the time? Mom’s condition, I was told, could last a long while…and there were things on the calendar that had to be done.
I got up early this morning, having arranged to take our family dogs to meet a lady in Fair Oaks (about an hour away) who would be their “sitter” in when we take Daniel to college in Montana. I knew this was likely a half-day project.
I went to bring the Yukon XL up–the only vehicle we take the dogs any place in–and the tire was as flat as a pancake. I couldn’t figure out how that was possible, given we had used it for a Father’s Day family outing just last night!
Upon close inspection, my husband found a screw in the relatively new tire. LSo, the schedule had to be rearranged (thankfully, the dog sitter was flexible!)—I needed that tire fixed. I would have to go “down the hill” about 40 minutes’ drive for that to happen.
I was reminded that Proverbs 16:9 is TRUE. I can plan my day out but the Lord, in His wise sovereignty, is going to order my specific steps.
Hubby used some “Fix a Flat” and an air compressor to get the tire safe enough to drive down to Roseville. While I waited for the terrific guys at America’s Tires to repair the flat, I had time to type up my letter to Mom on my iPad. It was a great exercise, reminding me of many blessings that have come to me through my mom.
After the tire was repaired, I had no doubt what I needed to do. I just “happened” to be only 10 minutes away from where my mom was staying. The letter just “happened” to be written.Thanks to a random screw in a brand new tire, I just “happened” to have enough time to be able to visit her. Seems like something other than “chance” was at work here. God was definitely ordering my steps.
Off I went.
When I arrived at my mom’s place, a hospice nurse greeted me: “I am so glad you are here. Your mom is close to the end.” To be honest, I was surprised. But then I realized that this was precisely what God had ordained for this day, this time.
Rosalie Gianino Hattersley, February 5, 1926-June 18, 2012
So, I entered her room and with tears and laughter I shared my letter with a sleeping Mother.
Hi Mom,
I came here today to be sure you know this one thing: It is ok to leave this life if you are called. This world isn’t your real home…heaven is! If you are having a hard time letting go, I want to just tell you some things that might make you feel better about letting go.
First, Mom, I know you have felt guilty for a lot of the things you did in your life…as we all do. I know a lot of these have to do with mistakes you made in raising me. I want you to know…these things are forgiven. Not only do I forgive you, but more importantly, Jesus forgives you. GOD forgives you. All of the things that you have regrets about and even those things you may have forgotten…no one else is holding on to them, so please don’t you hold on to them either. Let them go! Break free from those things!
Secondly, there is so much I am thankful for that I haven’t told you about previously. I want to do that now. Thank you for loving your grandchildren the way you have. You took them fun places, let us swim in your pool all the time–they have only happy memories of being at Grandma Rosalie’s house! They loved the adventures you took them on to Capital Aquarium (like you did me when I was little!) and to the park.I got a much needed break any time you took them for a couple of hours and for that, I am very thankful, too. I know you didn’t agree with some of the things I did to raise them, but your own mother didn’t agree with the way you raised me, so I guess that is par for the course! J
Daniel and Michaela have wonderful memories of special dolls, car play sets, videos and books, that they got to enjoy *only* at Grandma’s house. They appreciated the ice cream bars and hugs and kisses most of all. Thank you for being one of the best grandmas in the world to my babies! They are going off to college now and may just meet their future husband and wife. I can only hope that I will be as wonderful and fun a grandma to their babies as you have been to them!
Mom, I want to tell you some of the happy memories I have about my own childhood, too, so that you know that I have positive things that I am pondering today. I remember playing with “Goop” and “Creepy Crawlers” out on the back patio. I remember long swims at Lake of the Pines (before there were many houses there!), hikes in Desolation Wilderness, fun at Stanford Sierra camp and singing in choirs when I was still in 3rd grade.
I loved holidays at our house–the extended family gathered for Christmas and fourth of July. You were such a great hostess. I loved Tiny Tots preschool…it is amazing that I still remember it and Virginia Young, my preschool teacher. I had a great education at Sacramento Country Day school, even though I know that the cost of a private education came only with many sacrifices you had to make. Thank you for that. You raised me knowing that God was real and even though I didn’t understand Jesus provided life for me by dying on the cross for me until Leslie told me about that part when I was 15, I nevertheless had a rich foundation because of the early years spent at Sunday school and church. I have had a love for the bible ever since I can remember and even in third grade, at Calvin Crest Camp, I bought my own copy of Good News For Modern Man…must be because of that foundation you gave me!
I know I gave you a hard time about practicing piano–I hated practicing, but now I am so thankful for that musical foundation as I understand chording and harmony and what notes work in different keys. Gosh, I can read music—so many aren’t so blessed!—and it is because of those early piano lessons–first with Mrs. Lang and then Mrs. Carver. Thank you for that. There were drama lessons and ballet lessons (which I hated, but I am still appreciative of you having me try it out) and tap dancing lessons. The recitals and shows all through the years I grew up, the carpooling and driving me all over to Rio Linda for horse lessons. Thank you for all of that, Mom. So much of who I am and what I value today is rooted in you having gone an extra mile (or many) and made sacrifices of time and money so that I could have opportunities to learn and enjoy new skills.
I know there are many things I have forgotten…oh! Like the horse camp I went to for two weeks and I loved going to Washington to stay with Caral Beaver and her family for two summers. And all the different sports that you always encouraged me to be involved in. I never doubted that I could be an athlete! Even as a girl! How could I forget! The tennis lessons that you paid for and chauffeured me to! Thank you for that. Gosh…when I think of how important tennis is to me today and how much joy I get out of it…thank you so much for those early tennis lessons with Bob Mitchell and then with Mike Reid. What ever would I do now without tennis!? J
See? There are so many things that I am thankful for about you.So, Mom, I hope that these are the things you ponder as you drift in and out of sleep now. Just like it says in Philippians 4:8…
Finally…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
I hope these wonderful memories are the ones you turn your mind to, Mom.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I am going to be ok if you let go to the embrace of Jesus, Mom. He will greet you with peace forevermore! I also believe the animals you have loved will be there to greet you as well. And lots of people that you have loved and have missed. Phyllis, Bob’s mom is there…and bodies are whole…yours will be, too! It will be great!
A couple more Scriptures I want to encourage you with, Mom:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV84)
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
-Revelation 21:1-4 (NIV84)
Mom, I love you. Be at peace. Fare well in the arms of Jesus.
—–
After reading this to my mom (and some added commentary), I kissed her and left. I called my sister about 11:00 am from the porch at Sunrise Senior Living in Rocklin—a wonderful place to live, by the way. I drove home and within moments of posting to Facebook, my sister called and told me mom had died just an hour after I read those words to her.
I am in awe of the gift that God gave me…that he determined my steps today would be different than the course I had planned ahead of time. I can’t tell you how loved and cared for I feel by a wonderful, intimate God. How he cares about the small details of my life. It boggles my mind. Most of all, I am thankful that my mom is now at peace in his embrace as he delights over her with singing.
If you have visited this blog for any time at all, you know that I celebrated a loss of 100 pounds using only the Thin Within principles…eating when hungry, stopping when no longer hungry, eating any food I wanted to, and not being involved in any exercise routine of any kind. Because of all the reasons I tended to want to eat aside from hunger, I learned to depend on God a whole lot to be my “portion” when heart hunger and head hunger called. These can’t be satisfied with physical food. During the time I released the weight, my walk with God deepened as I leaned on him for strength. So, from Nov. 2006 to Fall of 2007, I released 100 pounds of physical weight and emotionally and spiritually, I felt set free as well.
Four and a half years later, I remain a healthy size. That is the good news.
But, I haven’t kept all 100 pounds off. I think there was something magical about “100” pounds for me…the number became almost more important than anything else. I don’t think that was where I was supposed to land for the rest of my life. So being that thin isn’t God’s “ideal size” for me.
In fact, last year at this time, I saw just how easy it was for me to be obsessed with weight, size and exercise again! I revisited an obsession I hadn’t known in over 15 years! I exercised 2 hours a day in addition to the tennis I was playing. That clearly was out of line.
Truthfully, since 2007, my size has fluctuated. I have remained a healthy size during all that time, but there IS in fact, a lot of work yet that God is doing regarding how I view food and my body. I am definitely still a work in progress.
In my rather lengthy dieting history before 1999 (when I stopped dieting), I never stayed a healthy size for more than a year once the weight was lost, let alone almost five! So I continue to celebrate the fact that I am still a healthy size! WHOO HOO! It is, after all, so easy to beat myself up (even now!) for ways I fall short.
I thought I would share with you some of the struggles I do have…
“Nutritionally dense” foods are not my preferred fare. I am stuck in Phase 1 of Thin Within most of the time…the “Freedom Phase.” Since much of my childhood abuse was focused on food, I do try to extend some measure of grace to myself about not eating raw carrots or green salad. Truthfully, I only like vegetables in salsa and well-cooked stew or soup! I hope to “grow up” relative to my eating preferences.
This continues to be a journey of my heart–much more so than of the body. It doesn’t take much for me to rush back to the comfort that I have found in food over the course of my life–maybe not with the abandon and zeal of my former years, but the thinking is still there…or there again.
I got rid of my bathroom scale at least four years ago at the encouragement of my accountability partner at the time. It was a great choice then, but right now I am drawn to the added accountability of numbers! This BUGs me–the truth is, I know if I am eating according to the boundaries God has given me without a bathroom scale! If I eat according to those boundaries, I need not fear weight gain. If I don’t eat according to those parameters, I know I will likely “find” weight that was “lost.” Numbers are so motivating because they are so instant. But I want a heart that is transformed…both in terms of how I think of food and what is most important to me–heart change or body change? I could use the numbers of the scale to be motivated more to stay focused on 0 to 5 eating, but the expense to my heart might be rather high…I might become obsessed with weight–numbers–again. I don’t want to go there! Goodness! I am over-thinking this, I am sure. I just want to be normal!
Fear has a grip on me again (still?). (I am sure that is obvious! LOL!) I live in fear that I will weigh 250 pounds again. I want to value having a heart change more than a body change…but honestly, I don’t live with such noble motivations much of the time. :-/ I know God wants to renew my thinking in this. I am even more fearful because of my role in the Thin Within company and with a possible book project (being pitched this month)–if I am going to be connected with “Thin” anything, I better be sure not to blow it and not be a healthy size! How is that for godly, deep, thinking?
Here is a photo that hubby took on Saturday…his newest hobby is photography and the silly man likes to take pictures of things in motion the most, it seems. I tend to be his primary “subject.” It definitely keeps me “honest.” So one more thing I guess I struggle with…when I see this photo, I see “fluffy.” I don’t like that. I want to see hardened, athletic muscles! I know this is something that God wants to change in my thinking, too. Somewhere between “fat acceptance” and “obsession with thin” is a place where I honor God with my eating, worship with joyful movement of my body, delight in who HE is, and who He is making me to be!
Well, there you have it. The truth tossed out on the table. So, though I have kept off most of the weight, though I am a healthy size, my mind is definitely stuck in a place that I don’t think is healthy for me! I need to “lose” the old mindset!
But I am optimistic that God is doing a new thing even now! I refuse to live in condemnation because I don’t “do this” perfectly. He is sanctifying me, one babystep at a time!
How about you? Can you relate to any of the struggles I have listed? What new thing is God possibly doing in you right now?
