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God accepts me and loves me

by | May 18, 2016 | Blog, Inspiration

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I recently realized that I was believing these kinds of lies: “God will accept me only when I am at my natural, healthy size.  And if I’m not at my natural, healthy size, then God is disappointed in me.  I am not acceptable until I meet that size.”  As I type those lies out, I’m almost gasping that I would even believe such revolting things–but I did.  And I also realized that I was thinking my “ideal” size was what I was hoping my natural, healthy size would be.  My “ideal” was the image that our culture has made the standard.  I was getting so tired of hearing the lies being played over and over again in my head.  I needed to find out what God truly thinks about me when it comes to my body and size.  Like, I knew that I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’, but does God really accept me when I don’t feel like I’m acceptable, like I’m fitting the “ideal”?  Does He love me when I don’t feel very lovable?  So I dove into scripture and searched because His truth is the only thing that matters.  Here are some scriptures that I uncovered:

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7

That was a scripture that I have known for awhile in this journey.  And I knew that God is more concerned about the condition of my heart, but it was really hard to let the appearance thing go.  And I found myself trying to justify my body obsession with saying that “of course God wants me to take care of my body!”  But taking care of my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) doesn’t mean obsessing over being a particular size or having some beach body.  We all have such different bodies, created by our Heavenly Father, where no two bodies are the same.  And he certainly doesn’t want us obsessing over a number on a scale, over our food, or our body image.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.  Proverbs 31:30

For some of us, it may be hard to read that and know that we will grow old, get wrinkles, and we won’t look like we did when we were 20.  Aging happens.  There’s no way around it.  So putting our security in our body and appearance will probably, at some point, let us down.  But if we put our fear and security in the Lord (for He never changes), we will be standing upon a Rock and we won’t be wavering every time our “beauty” passes.  I want to focus more on the Lord and my heart beating for Him; I don’t want my life focus to be my body, body, body.  Can I get an amen?

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.  Galatians 1:10

This scripture challenges me to think about the motive of my heart in wanting to release weight.  Is it to please the world and fit it’s standard?  Or am I seeking to please the Lord and honor the temple of the Holy Spirit?  He wants my heart to please Him first and foremost.

And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.”  Luke 16:15

Again, another motive check.  Who am I trying to please?  The world cheers on those who fit the image, but even for those who are desperately trying to fit the image, the enemy is always there saying you are too much or not enough.  For me, even when I released the baby weight after having my middle child, the enemy was there saying, “It’s not enough!  More!  More!”  The world says a certain look is what we should strive for, and basically, it takes a lot of obsession and sometimes desperate measures to meet that standard.  God doesn’t want us trying to live up to the standard of the world.  He wants us to live for Him and live up to what His Word says for our lives.  We cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).  And I think it really breaks His heart when we are constantly striving to have a certain body instead of thanking Him for the one we have.

And that makes me think of another lie I was believing.  I had such a hard time believing that God accepted me at my current size/weight. I kept on thinking, “Lord, you knit me together, but this current body cannot possibly be what you designed for me to be.  How can you accept me as I am?  Lord, my habits of overeating have brought me to this place, so how can you accept me when I’ve done this to myself?”  And that’s why I absolutely have to go back to the Word of God and find out what He says about me because that lie can lead one down a treacherous, shameful, self-condemned path.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.  I Peter 3:3-4

I think it’s nice to look nice.  I think we should take care of our body, honor, and respect it.  It means wearing clothes that fit your current body (stop trying to squeeze into something that makes you feel bad because it’s not currently fitting).  I think it’s fun to have a hair style that we really like, and to wear jewelry, and to wear clothes that make us feel beautiful, but those things don’t make us beautiful.  True beauty comes from within.  The Lord will ask me, “What’s in your heart?”  He’s more concerned about the ‘look’ of my heart.  Am I kind?  Do I speak kindly to my family?  Am I peaceful and secure in the Lord?  Am I compassionate and gentle?  Do I walk in love?

“BUT NOW [in spite of past judgments for Israel’s sins], thus says the Lord, He Who created you, O Jacob, and He Who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you [ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaving you captives]; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and because I love you, I will give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you;” Isaiah 43:1-5 AMP

I love, love, love, these verses!  He created me!  He formed me!  He’s redeemed me!  He calls me by my name!  I am His!  He is with me!  I am precious in His sight!  He loves me!  Something the Lord has been asking me (once again in my life) is, “Am I (God) enough for you?  If you never released weight, or even gained weight, am I enough for you?”  GULP!  I sort of don’t like that question because He asks it when it’s something I really, really, really don’t want or something I really do want.  Sometimes, to be honest, the answer has been “no”.  *sad face*  And I know that I don’t have the freedom to move forward until I can say “YES!”  And I’ve known for awhile in this journey that I needed to come to that place of being content with my weight/size no matter what.  I knew I would have to come to a place of genuine acceptance.  I fought it, hard.  No way did I want to be content with staying at my current size when I knew there was weight to be released.  Nor did I want to say I would be content if I gained weight.  Are you kidding me?  (He’s not kidding me!)  But now I am seeing that I’ve strived after some “ideal” and I have to let that go and do what I know He’s shown me to do (eating between hunger and satisfaction).  And I’ve had to accept that my natural, healthy weight is where I land when I’m consistently doing just that.  God is enough to satisfy me if I never release weight.  He is my all in all!  And I am all of those things to Him, as that verse says, no matter what my current body looks like!

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[And the Lord answered] Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me. Isaiah 49:15-16 AMP

First of all, I think it’s almost impossible for a mother to forget her hungry child.  And I think He’s making that point.  When babies are hungry, they cry.  And if you don’t feed them right away, they CRY even more.  It’s pretty hard to ignore.  This verse reminds me of how if a good father gives good gifts to his child, how much more will God give to us? (Matthew 7:7-12).  If it’s hard for a mother to forget her hungry child, how much more impossible is it for God to forget us?  Totally impossible!  God will NOT forget you!  Or me!  And I love the Amplified version of this verse because it says we are TATTOOED on the palm of not just one, but BOTH of His hands.  We are pretty special!!!  I love my kids so much and I don’t have a tattoo on the palm of my hands of them.  Ha!  So just think about how MUCH He loves you!  Wow!!!  You, my dear brother or sister in Christ, are loved and accepted by Him!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV

I love this verse because it’s saying that He had a plan about us before we were even formed in the womb.  He specifically designed us to be the individual person that we are.  He gave us a personality, likes, dislikes, our looks, etc.  We are His masterpiece!

[He exclaimed] O my love, how beautiful you are! There is no flaw in you!  Song of Solomon 4:7 AMP

He says we are beautiful!  You are beautiful!  He didn’t create you with a flaw!  Not a one!  We were made in His image.  He gave you life!  I love how this verse in the Amplified just puts it right out there; there’s no question or doubt that He says I am beautiful!  No matter what the mirror may tell us or what the world says about our image, HE says we are beautiful!  You are beautiful!  He didn’t create flaws; everything in His creation was “good”.  And that includes you!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

I never really looked at myself as His “masterpiece”.  But I LOVE this way of looking at what He did when He created me and formed me.  I am His work of art!  You are His masterpiece!  And then when we become a new creature in Christ–that masterpiece takes on even more in depth beauty!

For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the LORD, who has mercy on you. Isaiah 54:10 NLT

I live around mountains and I’ve never seen one disappear, but just in case if one does, I will know that God’s love is even more faithful than the surety of a mountain staying put.  So basically, it’s pretty much impossible for a mountain to disappear.  So we can be sure that God’s love will ALWAYS be!  His love is unfailing!! (1 Cor 13:)

What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 NLT

There is really no point in knowing how many hairs we have on our head, but God says He loves us so much and we are so important to us that He even knows that number.  We are so precious to Him!  Can you see just how much He loves you and cares about you?

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalms 73:25-26 NLT

This is one of those verses that really makes me see how God is totally enough for me.  My security isn’t my health or how lean my body may be.  I want Him to be the strength of my heart because I will always have Him–forever and always.  He is my Rock on which I stand–no matter what!  Forever!

And the last two verses I’m sharing are the same from Zephaniah, but I wanted to share two different versions because they are both so beautifully written:

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.  Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV

He delights in us!  Think about how when you have a baby: they sleep, they eat, they poop…oh…and cry.  And eventually they smile, and coo.  But the point is that even in those few things that they do, we delight in them.  We love them just because.  It’s not based on their performance or because of their looks.  We just delight in them and they are so precious to us!  The Lord delights in us and it’s not because of our performance.  He’s like, “See that child of mine?  I love them so much!”  And then he rejoices over us with singing.  This is such a beautiful description of how much He loves us.  So just cuddle up in His arms and let Him sing over you.  He is just so in love with you!

These verses have been such a blessing to me in the last week.  I need to lean upon God’s word in this journey.  His word never changes and it breathes life into my soul.  I’ve been so encouraged as I’ve applied these truths.  When lies arise, I take the thoughts captive and bring them under the obedience of Christ by remembering what God says about me in these scriptures.  For example, today I saw myself in the mirror and immediately I started to criticize my body, but then immediately, God’s truth came in and raised up a standard against those lies (Isaiah 59:19).  I’ve been using these verses to write scripture prayers.  Before even getting out of bed in the morning, I open my notes on my phone and read through these scriptures.  When I truth journal, I include what God says about me from these verses.  And let me tell you, it’s helped so much!  There are so many wonderful tools out there that we can use to renew our mind and to help us think on His truth, but there’s nothing like the unadulterated word of God!

I want to encourage you to keep these verses close to your heart!  You are loved and accepted by Him!  I’m praying that you will be transformed by these truths!

 

 

Living Life in Limbo

Living Life in Limbo

by | May 13, 2016 | Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind

bannerI have had a lot of different, but big things happening (or are on the brink of happening ) with my family.  Several things have made me feel as if I am in limbo as we are facing some life changes  over the next few months.

Limbo is not a good place for me.  I like order.  I like to know what is coming.  I am not a “surprise” kinda gal.  So as I sit here in this place of “not knowing”….I find myself slipping back into a place of worry.

I am trying not to be afraid and to trust that God will provide. I know He will, but it’s hard for me to not wonder what will happen.

I have learned that the best way to battle worry and wondering about the future is for me is to  renew my mind everyday with scripture about God providing and  about trusting in Him.

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Scripture Truths 

 

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Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.  ~Proverbs 3:5-6

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. ~Psalm 9:10

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. ~ Psalm 37:4-6 

 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. ~Isaiah 26:3

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. ~Psalm 28:7

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Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. ~Jeremiah keep-calm-and-don-t-worry-8517:7-8

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“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ~Matthew 6:25 

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Do not worry or be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

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Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. ~Joshua 1:9

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Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10

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For I know the plans I have for you, declares the PicsArt_05-10-12.13.26Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~Jeremiah 29:11

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When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. ~Isaiah 43:2-3
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God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. ~Psalm 46:1
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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. ~Psalm 23:1-2

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Look Up!

Renewing my mind keeps me from grabbing food to numb the fear or anxiety. Or for escape. When I turn to the Lord instead and BELIEVE what He says to me “fear not for I am with You”….I look UP and not around me.

I look UP

I reach UP

AND

I don’t reach for things that won’t satisfy.

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What Path Are You On?

What Path Are You On?

by | May 6, 2016 | Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind

Recently I did a small group study that had us identify one or two deep core beliefs from a list of a hundred or more.  Wow!  This was really hard to do!  But, after much prayer, soul searching and thinking, I came up with my two.  They are FAITH (in Christ as in He will do what He promises, will take care of me, has my back, has my future….etc.) and FREEDOM (from anything that holds me captive….)

After identifying these core beliefs, I then was to look at what behaviors keep these beliefs safe and strong in my life.  Also, what actions do I do that lets me know I am not protecting these beliefs in my life.

 

 

TWO PATHS

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When I started thinking about it, I started envisioning a picture of two paths I can follow.

PATH ONE: I am walking hand in hand with Jesus.  This is the path of FAITH and FREEDOM.  This is the path where I am full of His joy and love.  To stay on this path, I need to do some pretty important things each day (and probably several times a day).

  • Renew my mind with HIS truth
  • Be involved in Bible Study
  • Write in my prayer journal
  • Talk to Jesus throughout the day

I  have found that I need to stay pretty vigilant and disciplined to do these things, or I tend to  wander off to another path.

PATH TWO: This one seems easy and comfortable but is is full of my own destructive behavior.  It is one of SELFISHNESS, GREED AND SIN.  Although I am saved and this trail doesn’t lead to eternal death, it is a path that leads away from a full life in Christ like the first path does.  I know I have slipped off that narrow way when I find myself

  • full of worry and anxiety
  • obsessing about things
  • trying to control situations
  • overeating or loosening my eating boundaries
  • feeling down about my appearance

 

So, which path am I on right now?

I need to examine my actions and my thoughts.  This will help me see which path I’m following….the one that leads back to that prison or the one of freedom. I know I’m on the bad path if I am overeating or obsessing or worrying… etc…

I stay on the path to freedom if I am praying, in bible study, journalling  to renew my mind…and staying within my boundaries for mindful eating.

TAKE A MINUTE AND THINKBLACK-WOMAN-THINKING

What actions and thoughts keep you on the path that leads to abundant life?  
What are your warning signs that you have slipped back on the path of self destructiveness?

No matter what, dear friend, if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, You are already on the road to heaven.  You are SAVED, but He wants us to have abundant life with Him RIGHT NOW on this earth!  He wants us to walk with Him on the path of freedom  RIGHT NOW.

John 10:10

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

So, as we walk this journey called life…

Lets examine our thoughts and our behavior.

Lets heed the warning signs that we are slipping back on that destructive trail.

Let’s plan to daily BE with Jesus and do the things HE calls us to do to remain IN HIM.

He calls  to us. 

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Warning! Consequences Ahead!

Warning! Consequences Ahead!

by | May 2, 2016 | Accountability, Blog

I forgot something very important last week that nearly sent me on a downward spiral. I am praising the Lord for helping me to remember this important bit of information. I forgot that when Jesus Christ died on the cross for me and was resurrected and because I have placed my faith and trust in Him as my Savior and Lord, that I have His power to say no to sin. 

He broke the power of sin in my life.  

Romans 6.6-7

I think I became forgetful because we are going into the summer months. It’s during the summer months that many of us “take time off” from activities we do during the school year: like corporate Bible Study and co-leading classes for Thin Within/Hunger Within. I know that if I hit the summer without a plan in place, I tend to flounder and waste time. I tend to use the freedom from activity as an excuse to be lazy. And, this past week I used the excitement of upcoming freedom to put me in a dangerous place concerning my disordered eating. 

Yes, through Christ Jesus, I am free from the power of sin, but that doesn’t give me the right to freely sin.

I wonder if you can identify with me. See, I was looking at freedom from weekly responsibilities as an opportunity to run wild so to speak. I know it is easier for me to keep my focus on the Lord in what I am doing when I have responsibilities. They give me things that I have to get done in my spare time. But, sometimes I get tired and in my tiredness, I start to look forward to some freedom. With the summer months in front of me, I started relishing the freedom ahead, forgetting that I am not good with too much free time on my hands.  So, I started eating outside of hunger again. I couldn’t understand what was happening until I took it to the Lord. He showed me that even though I thought I wanted the freedom that the summer would bring, I was really afraid of the freedom. Why was I afraid? He showed me that I hadn’t made a plan to take Him into that freedom. Without Him in my free time, I don’t have His power to say no to sin. It is only through Him that sin has no power over me.

Running wild into freedom without Christ Jesus is no freedom at all. It is running straight back into bondage.

Consequences

There is an old saying that I heard at a 12 Step meeting years ago that goes, “An addict lost in his own mind is in enemy territory.” I’m going to expound on that to say, “An addict lost in too much freedom without Christ along is in enemy territory.” That is where I found myself.

So, what did I do? I asked the Lord to help me. He helped me remember that I have an accountability partner in Thin Within (if you don’t have one, I highly recommend you get one ASAP). I reached out and found out that we both were struggling. God is so good! We had a divine appointment. My accountability partner and I have agreed to stay in contact daily via text or personal message, and voice to voice via phone on a more regular basis. We are being vulnerable and admitting our weaknesses to one another and to Jesus. We are sharing our 0 to 5 eating, our plans for renewing our minds, our temptations and our victories.

I am no longer afraid of the freedom of summer because I have asked Jesus and my friend to walk with me.

I praise You

Dear reader, the moral of what I just shared is simple. If you are finding yourself in eating situations that leave you feeling unsettled, unhappy and condemned, would you consider doing what I did, and take them to the Lord, surrender to His wisdom and accept what He shows you? Look for those He has placed around you and reach out to them. There is freedom ahead and you don’t have to walk into it alone.

Suggested reading: Romans 6 through 8
Time to Unpack

Time to Unpack

by | Apr 25, 2016 | Blog

Matthew 6:19-21

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Storage UnitThey just built another storage unit center that I pass on my way to work. Do you ever wonder why we as a society need so many storage unit centers? Why do we have so much “junk” that we need overflow areas outside of our homes? I know that some are used as temporary storage for furniture and other belongings while housing is in transition. I also know that many are used to store the overflow of “things” we refuse to part with but take up too much room in our daily lives to have at home, so we place this overflow in a storage unit. The new place is aptly called EZ Stor. Pull in, dump, and pull out…what could be easier: Out of sight, out of mind. And “things” just keep piling up. I can’t help but see a pattern here that also points to the things that keep us in bondage.

In Chapter 7 of Hunger Within we read, “The weight we have struggled to release is only a symbol of what we’ve been carrying—the compulsions, denial, shame, guilt, old unworkable beliefs, and painful past experiences. As we become aware of our burdensome bindings, our patient Lord is always near, encouraging us to be unwrapped as quickly or as slowly as we are able to bear. Layer by layer, the loving hand of the Lord dismantles our crippling defense mechanisms and removes the self-protective devices we thought were necessary for survival, knowing we sincerely long to be set free from the encumbrances we have been bearing.”

2 Corinthians 5 17It sounds like we need to clean out our storage units. Our minds are a lot like those units. We file our pain, our hurts, our bad memories, our rejections, and our abuse (both done to us and what we have done to ourselves through years of disordered eating and restrictive dieting). If you are here in Thin Within/Hunger Within to seek the Lord for freedom, but are not finding John 8:36 – “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,” resonating in your heart and mind, I would ask you to unlock the door to the storage unit of your mind and start unpacking and bringing into the light of God’s healing grace the items stored there. I know this isn’t an easy task. I’ve been unpacking my own storage unit for years. I know some of those old comfortable “things” are really hard to let go of. I’ve had to unclench my grasp of many of them myself. I know that we open that door and see such clutter and mess and feel that the task in front of us is impossible. I’ve been there. That was when I threw up my hands in despair and said, “Lord, I can’t do this! The mess is too big!” He gently said, “Deanna, I have been waiting to hear you admit your weakness, for in your weakness, my strength will shine. With you alone, it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.”
Don't look backI know it is a huge temptation to go back to the way we’ve always done things in the past. To start filling up that storage unit and to keep paying the rent (go back to dieting and man-made rules about food or jump on the current band-wagon that everyone else is trying in order to lose weight). But we need to remember 2 Corinthians 5:17 – 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Let’s make a commitment to God and each other that we will not go back to the way things were before. We don’t have to because in Christ Jesus, we have been made completely new. We don’t live there anymore. Let’s renew ourselves daily with the truth found in God’s Word. The temptation to look back is strong, but we can rest and take a stand on His truth! We can live in Christ’s freedom. We have His promise in Galatians 5:1 – It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. It’s time to clean out those storage units and cancel the leases. We are never going back.