I used to write about my challenges with my horse, Harley, on a Yahoo group I was a part of. Readers of the posts said they thought that he breathed fire based on my description of him. I had turned him into a 5-headed monster! The truth was, he was spunky and needed reassurance from his human. If he didn’t get that…well, he might…um…buck. 🙂 Yes…BUCK.
Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn’t really situated very well to give him those reassurances. So…well…buck he did. Land on the ground…yes…I did that…frequently. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming off…again and again and again. I just quit riding him in 2005. The fact that I was 100 pounds overweight at the time, certainly contributed to my decision. I was somewhat convinced that my large size *hurt* him to carry! It broke my heart, but I was so tired of failure.
Finally, with the help of a couple of very gifted trainers…who trained me…I dusted myself off and got back on the horse. The above picture was taken, the second time I rode him after a two year lay off. I decided that I was done “giving up.”
You can tell by the smile on my face how I felt about the experience. The thing that strikes me about this picture is I finally overcame my fear and, other than the “death grip” of my right hand on the rein, I am riding with merely a halter! (No saddle!) It is one of my favorite pictures of Harlinator and me because in it, I had come such a far distance from where I had been.
[Note: Here is a video of the first time I got back on Harley after those two years of staying off. This was shot about a week before the photo above was taken. See if there are any similarities to how you feel when you consider “getting back on the Thin Within horse!” Note Melissa telling me to remember to “Breathe!”]
I haven’t come off of Harley in a long while, but when I did the last time, I dusted myself off immediately. I observed where I went wonky. I made note of a needed correction so that whatever-it-was wasn’t likely to happen again. Then I put my foot in the stirrup and lifted myself back in the saddle.
I approach my “eating life” the same way. When I fall off the horse, I don’t wait around until I feel like getting back on. I observe and correct and hop back on up in the saddle. There is fun to be had. Places to go! Adventures to enjoy! I don’t want to indulge myself in self-pity and woe-is-me self deprecation.
So, did you stay on the horse yesterday? Did all your good intentions win out? Did you keep your rear firmly in the saddle and are you smiling big, knowing that you DID it?
Or…Or did you get thrown off? Are you licking your wounds, mercilessly inflicted by the “Ultimate Caramel Apple Pie?” Or just a few too many bites (past 5) of turkey and gravy?
Well, I want to encourage you…you CAN get off the ground and back on that horse right now! 🙂 It is WORTH IT!
I was asked recently by one of my coaching clients…”What do you do when you overeat…when you overeat by a LOT?”
The answer…simply…is you just wait for hunger again. Presto! No big heavy emotional guilt tripping allowed! Instead, just get back on that horse and start riding again. Wait for 0 and serve yourself a modest portion, stopping when you are no longer hungry. It really IS that simple!
I do find it VERY helpful to build a foundation for lasting change if I deal with the beliefs that fuel my actions. Really, I can’t say this enough. We can keep restraining ourselves with “will power,” but unless we change the way we think and what we believe (beliefs fuel actions which fuel a lifestyle), we will find ourselves back where we were before or—worse. At the very least, change won’t be sustained.
God wants my heart more than he wants me to be thin. So it stands to reason he won’t let me be content to just lose weight. I got to the place where I carried 100 extra pounds on my frame because I believed food was a better comforter than God. I got to the place where I sustained such a large size because I turned to food to be my savior instead of to the Lord.
So, it stands to reason that the real work will have to be in my mind.
No, you really probably don’t need to read another book.
… and you probably don’t need to read the Thin Within book again.
Those things may be helpful, sure. But what you may need, if you are anything like me, is to work on what you believe more than what you know. You probably know plenty! But what do you believe?
If you watch even the first moments of the video I referenced above, you will see that I believed that I was going to get hurt. The ride didn’t flow. It was hindered by my beliefs. By the time I was on Harley a week or two later bareback and with the halter, though, I believed that things were going to work between us! What I believe makes a HUGE difference in my actions! Watch the video to see what I mean!
So, what lies were motivating you yesterday if you overate? What truth can counter the lies?
EVERYTHING is redeemable by our wonderful Lord! In fact, no matter what you may have done eating-wise yesterday, God intends that “failure” be redeemed. “Failure” can be a great teacher. Observe what you did by looking back over yesterday. Look at where you went astray. And now, correct. What could you do differently in the future? What could you believe differently in the future that would help you to choose to do that behavior?
Getting back on the horse again after a mess-up is all about observing, correcting, choosing.
It is about extending grace.
It is about learning from your mis-steps and struggles.
It is about trading lies that have moved you with truth…doing it even before the lies have a chance to work again. Right now.
What About You?
What lies were at work yesterday that kept you from acting in a way that supported your godly goals of 0 to 5 eating?
What truths can you use to refute the lies?
How might your actions change the next time you are faced with a similar situation?
And if you negotiated through Thanksgiving Day with NO regrets, I would love to hear about it. It is encouraging. Tell us what challenge you faced and how you were able to emerge victorious. You may have experienced the bucking of that horse beneath you, but if you managed to stay on anyhow, we want to celebrate that with you!
I am preparing to go on a true vacation—one where I won’t be owned by my cell phone or email…even though these are things I love as I get to talk to wonderful people like you all! My husband and I are going to Grand Cayman on Saturday and will be gone through the 22nd of September. Â After I return from that trip, I have a lot more traveling planned before October 17th when I get to stay home for a few weeks.
What that means is this blog will reflect my absence. I will schedule posts, but some will be re-runs, some will be Truth Card suggestions, bible verse devotions, and some will be references to other posts elsewhere that I think would be incredibly valuable and I want to share them with you.
Since I am trying to get a lot done this week, I am beginning now to cut back on time I spend preparing blog posts.
Today’s recommendation is to an online magazine article, “Breaking Up With Your Ideal Self.” It is written by Allie Marie Smith who wrote the Healthy Eating Abundant Living book with Judy Halliday and who runs the Wonderfully Made ministry. I hope you will visit her article and be blessed. Then come back here and give feedback!
What About You?
Can you relate at all to Allie’s admission that her real self and ideal self have been separated by an ever increasing chasm?
How have you responded to this, if so?
Do you let your ideal self rob you of the joy that could be yours today?
What could you start to do today to stop this tendency?
Finally, Allie asked the question:Â How are you going to live your one valuable and irreplaceable life as the real, completely un-ideal you?
Yesterday, I felt like while I could still work myself up into a lather when a loving friend, having read yesterday’s blog entry (you know who you are!), asked me about how I was doing…In spite of that, I nevertheless, know that I *have* released much of this to the Lord. Much of the bitterness and anger has ebbed back into the original feeling…pain. God has taught me that I can feel that and let HIM comfort me. His comfort is much more effective than food, too!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,
so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
– 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
As I do that, I am able to ask him “Lord, what am I to do and be in response to these things?” “What would you have me to learn about myself and about you through this misunderstanding?” “Is there any way in which the way I was misunderstood so often through this trial …well…is that a mirror as to what *you* actually see in me, Lord?” “What do I need to change?”
Yesterday, I felt a willingness to give my eating to the Lord. It wasn’t perfect, no. But I made positive God-honoring choices most of the day. I rejoice in that. Not because of the eating, food and so on, but because of what it means is happening in my heart again.
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking,
but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit…
Romans 14:17
I am so thankful that he doesn’t judge me or condemn me based on my eating. He nudges me, he comforts me, he convicts my heart, but because Jesus alone is sufficient for my salvation, my outward acts are simply an expression in response to so great a salvation!
I am thankful that Ephesians 1:3-5 is true – even before I was born and cared a wit for God!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us in the heavenly realms
with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world
to be holy and blameless in his sight.
In love he predestined us to be adopted
as his sons through Jesus Christ,
in accordance with his pleasure and will—
And isn’t it amazing that it gave HIM pleasure to choose us? That is an amazing thought. I love Ephesians 1. I can’t condemn myself or remain in shame when I read that chapter of the bible and God gently asks: “Yes, child, but do you BELIEVE me? Do you BELIEVE what I say about YOU is true?”
During the week or two or three that I had my tantrum, I not only gained physical weight, but I took on a truckload of shame and self-condemnation. Satan stood laughing and accusing, “See! I TOLD you you wouldn’t keep it off! What kind of teacher are you, teaching the women one thing in your Thin Within class and doing another! HA! By the time YOU get to the Thin Within retreat in June, you will be 30 pounds heavier! HA! Some ‘testimony’ YOU will be!”
And the Lord gently reminds me of all these things that scripture says. It isn’t about the food. It is about righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. It is about the fact that YES, he IS doing a new thing–EVEN NOW! I have NEVER been at this place before and He is yet at work! I praise you, Lord!
Today…all His mercies are new again. Isn’t that a wonderful thing? I am so thankful that he doesn’t carry my mistakes and failings forward. He wipes the slate clean with his grace.
This is a minute and a half long video clip from a Thin Within DVD made in 2002 that I used in my group on Wednesday night. In it, “Karen” speaks of breaking free from condemnation. I thought it might encourage some of you.(At the time this was recorded, Karen had released 25 pounds.)
If you get an “Oops No Video!” error, use this link to view the video.
Karen, if you are out there, please email me or post a comment or visit the Thin Within forums and let us know how you are doing! Many of us wonder how you are!
Hi, everyone. The video below may take a while to load. It is a little over 7 minutes long. It is a clip of a friend of mine sharing some thoughts about her body as the temple of God as well as another section on God’s forgiveness. I got permission from Thin Within (and my friend) to share this. Some of the thoughts about the temple may be challenging for some of us to hear, but hang in there–I think it dovetails beautifully with her testimony of God’s forgiveness that follows. I hope you can take the time to view the video. It is powerful. I would love to hear from you about it.
