I LIKE EVERYTHING!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 20, 2010 | Blog

I wonder what would happen if I started the day dancing on my counter, looking in the bathroom mirror like she has affirming that I LIKE EVERYTHING! “I like my thighs!” “I like my hair!” “I like my legs!” “I like my hunger!” “I like 0 to 5 eating!” etc…etc…LOL!

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! 🙂 Philippians 4:13 says so! 🙂

Eating Like Pharoah!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 19, 2010 | Blog

What does how I eat have to do with Pharaoh? 🙂

When I read Scripture and notice in a short section that there are words or phrases repeated,  I take note. Maybe God has something for me there.

 

Monday morning, in Exodus 7, I noticed a few of these repetitions (they continue in subsequent chapters of Exodus, too):

“Moses and Aaron did just as the Lord commanded.”

“Pharaoh’s heart became hard.”

“[Pharaoh] would not listen to them.”

All three off these were responses to the voice of God. God spoke directly to Moses and Aaron. And God spoke to Pharaoh through Moses and Aaron. 

1. First and foremost, God speaks to people! I am in awe of this. He still does today!

In fact, anyone who is in Christ has the Spirit of God (Romans 8:9). The Holy Spirit convicts us regarding sin and righteousness (John 16). Thin Within depends on this fact. When we decide to “follow” Thin Within, we see that we don’t need external rules and regulations for our eating. If we stop and are still long enough to listen to what God says to us through the Spirit we will sense a conviction in our hearts about our eating. This may help us to know if we are really hungry, if it is a need that can’t be met physically, or if a food we are considering eating (even when hungry) is going to adequately fuel our bodies or just gratify a craving of our taste buds. Countless times throughout the day, we can focus our attention on the Lord and his revealing of his will to us by the voice of his Spirit in our hearts.

2. Secondly, when I sense God speaking to me through His Spirit, I choose my response. My response may be like one of those seen in Exodus 7.

• I can do “just as the Lord commanded.”

• I can harden my heart.

• I can refuse to listen.

When I minimize the significance of my choice to eat something or not, I am potentially hardening my heart and refusing to listen to the voice of God.

I am privileged that he speaks to me and that I can know his voice (John 10:27).

I want to do that which the Lord commands each and every time.

Am I like Moses and Aaron? Or am I more like Pharaoh? Pharaoh hardened his heart to the instruction of God. In the seemingly small, “insignificant” moments of life, when the whisper of the Spirit is ever present, do I hearken and obey? Or do I turn a deaf ear and harden my heart? Even in those “small,” seemingly insignificant moments…something hugely significant happens. I can add another layer of a callus to my heart or, I can invite a softening to continue in my heart.

What about you? When you prepare to eat, how can you foster a softened, responsive heart?

Dive in and STUDY With Us!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 17, 2010 | Blog

Summer can be a time of wonderful freedom. Sometimes, though, we may find our freedom erodes to chaos in short order!

There is no need for summer to go from fabulous to frantic. Join me in planning a little bit of structure, to help us maintain godly boundaries as the days get warmer and longer!

Join me and dive in to a study of the Thin Within book here on this blog. This might offer a bit of added incentive and accountability to press on in your quest to give the Lord your eating habits!

I prefer to take a very casual, easy-going pace as I study the Thin Within book this time. Here are the (sort of) specifics:

• A 10-12 week study, but it could go longer depending on other aspects of my life and schedule. 🙂 I anticipate covering about 3 chapters each week. Our mileage may vary. You can go at any pace. The posts will be here whenever you need them! 🙂

• You will want to purchase a fresh copy of Thin Within, by Arthur and Judy Halliday, published by W publishing in 2002 or later. I say “fresh copy,” since many of you may have read it before and filled in the blanks. I am starting fresh and I want to encourage you to do so as well. God is challenging me to break camp and head off, as if for the first time. So, I will do that with a book that is new and not yet written in! I recommend you do the same, but that is up to you!

• You may want to get a journal that you can write in as needed. I will be adding little assignments along the way and you can do them in the journal. Obviously, everything is optional. Make this study whatever YOU want it to be!

• You will want a favorite translation of the bible. I recommend a bible highlighter, too, so you can highlight the verses that stand out to you in the reading we do.

• If you want to hide God’s Word in your heart (an excellent practice), you may want to get index cards for scripture memory.

• We will begin June 14 (I think).

• Finishing, hopefully by August 30.

• There may be an optional “real time” chat mid-week at the Thin Within.org website for those who want to join us for that.

• I will post one or two times a week about what I am seeing in my study of the book. I will post other things like I usually do, too, but only two of the posts each week are likely to be about the study. I will let folks know which days to expect those posts as we get closer to the start of the study. Then, you can respond and connect with one another if you like. If you want to, you can gather friends to join you in a LIVE study of the book. Then you can post here, too. That is up to you. 🙂 FUN!

My Approach:

I will be processing this material in a unique way, as:

1.) …someone who has been through the material many times before, taught classes, spoken to groups, but now needs to start as if from scratch — I want to rekindle my commitment to godly boundaries and focus on the Lord, but I also know that my tendency to compromise has made a difference in my physical size in a way that probably isn’t God’s best for me. I want to see really what he wants for me. Of course, as I have said before, he doesn’t want me thin nearly so much as he wants me to be his. So I will be working on being his in all respects–including with my eating. I need to get to know my body all over again as it has changed, my hunger/satisfied signals have changed. I want to learn what God has for me now.

2.) …someone who took part in writing the Thin Within book and workbooks–I was the collaborator for the Thin Within book (God has such a sense of humor!). It was my job to “get inside” Judy Halliday’s head and bring to the printed page what she had been teaching in her workshops for years. I will gladly field questions from anyone who is studying with us and, if I don’t know the answer, I will ask Judy Halliday directly. Studying from this perspective is unique, though. If you have known this material for years and wonder why you can’t “get it,” trust me, I know what that is like. I began this approach in 1999, but didn’t allow it to change me physically until 2006. Now, I am here again, almost “jaded.” When I began this blog in 2006, I began it with the attitude of “Ok, God, Let’s see if you can take this jaded pilgrim and do something new…” He didn’t disappoint. I am, perhaps, more jaded now…yet I find myself wondering if he won’t do a “new new thing.” 🙂

Since we will start about mid-June, there is time for you to get the book. You can call Thin Within (http://www.thingwithin.ORG) to get a copy of the book (the 2002 or later version) at 877-729-8932 9:00 am to 5:00 pm EST Monday through Friday. Joe and Pam Donaldson are quick about shipping out and I think the books cost about $11.00 for a paperback from them. You can order it anywhere you wish, of course–half.com and Amazon Marketplace may have new books for a good price. Be sure to get the 2002 edition or later. The version from 1985 is not from a Christian perspective.

I hope you will join us, starting June 14!

I am having another book giveaway, too. THIS WEEK I will be giving away a Thin Within book. In fact, I think I will give away one each week between now and the time our study starts. 🙂 All you have to do to enter is comment here…and be sure to check back to see if you won. Each time you comment here at the blog (relevant comments only, please), I will write your name (the one you use for your comments) on a slip of paper and put it in a bag. Next Sunday night, I will draw a name and Monday I will post who has won. I will do that for the next four weeks. 🙂

 How about you? What will you do to enjoy the freedom of summer without allowing the erosion of your godly boundaries? Will you join us? 🙂

An Ant on my Hat

by Heidi Bylsma | May 16, 2010 | Blog

This morning I had a “stow away” on board,  a tiny little “friend” promenading along the brim of my baseball cap as a I sat down at my laptop. Rolling my eyes up to gaze at him directly, I could see, sure enough, that the stowaway was an ant. Where did you come from?

I had just come in from feeding the horses and  had also “mucked” the corral, where my equine pets hang out. For non-horse people, “muck” basically means “picking up poop.” Typically, after raking the horse droppings and scooping them into a large wheelbarrow, I dump the load on the manure pile.

This is no typical manure pile. It is mammoth–the mother of all manure piles. We buy a ton of hay (that is 2000 pounds!) each month for our horses and much of it comes out the other end as waste. 🙂 If you want to see this process and the manure pile, both are featured in the following very silly “Busy Horsewoman’s Workout” video…LOL!

Many of God’s creatures consider a manure pile a perfect environment in which to live. Most of these critters also serve as decomposers, helping the manure pile to become soil–which is, of course, the idea!  When I dump the wheelbarrow of manure, I have to be extremely aware of the little “animals” that make it their home.  If I am not cautious while near the pile of “meadow muffins,” however, as I march into the territory of crawly creatures, I can stir up something like…well…like an ant’s nest (or worse). If adequate caution is not exercised, however, hitch-hikers may climb aboard my body. Later, back in the house, I then may find them ambling about on my body or in my hair! Clearly, that is what happened today, as I subsequently found 3 more of Mr. Ant’s friends had also gotten on board.

In my effort to do my chores–a good thing–without proper care, I can end up taking aboard an unwelcome passenger or 12 or 20. Sometimes, these creatures bite! NOT fun!

I must confess that as I put a sudden end to the ants found on the brim of my cap and on my arm, earlier this morning, a thought struck me about life generally. Are there environments where I unwittingly allow hitch-hiking attitudes and behaviors to get on board? For instance, when I am with certain people–friends and family–or attend certain activities, do I come away with a different perspective that that which I have previously held? For example, sometimes people I am with speak poorly of others behind their backs. Do I begin to minimize the inappropriateness of this behavior or even start to carry an attitude that it is acceptable,  or, worse, even engage in this behavior myself?

Or if I am with people who are footloose and fancy-free about eating, do I then adopt their attitude toward food, figuring that if these Christian friends don’t see anything “wrong” with eating whenever and whatever they want, why should I?

I see that I must exercise due diligence when I am near the manure pile, not to allow hitch-hikers to come “on board,” but I must be even more circumspect when I am with those who embrace a different set of values–even if they are Christian folks–not to allow thoughts or attitudes that defeat my godly goals to “stow away” on board in any way, shape, or form.

There is no doubt that I will continue to do what I must in and near the manure pile. Just as there is little question that I will continue to interact with people whose values differ from my own. But it is my prayer that I will continue to grow in my awareness of the possibility of allowing inappropriate attitudes to “latch on” and maintain vigilance not to allow that to happen. Just as an ant doesn’t belong on the brim of my baseball cap, neither do many of these attitudes belong in my mind.

And, as earnest as I have been about stomping out these ants that I have found on me, today, I want to stomp out the thoughts that God calls me not to embrace.

Above all else, guard your heart,
       for it is the wellspring of life.  – Proverbs 4:23

How about you? Are there environments from which you find yourself sometimes allowing stow-away thoughts or attitudes? How can you exercise due diligence today to guard your heart and mind?

Praise Removes Pounds!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 14, 2010 | Blog

Most of the time, I prefer to focus my eyes and my blog posts off of the scale. I believe the scale is, typically, not our friend. Many of us who may be walking free from dieting and counting calories or points, still struggle with obsession with thin and with weight.

I hope this post will bridge the gap a bit between obsession with numbers on the scale and the focus that really does make the difference in life, in eternity *and* in weight.

=========

This may sound totally cheesy! This may seem ridiculous, in fact, but I assert that:

It isn’t any secret: I don’t believe in dieting. God removed 100 pounds from my body just by my finally (it took many years for me to “get it”) eating between the parameters of physical hunger and physical satisfaction. I am returning to basics again, as some of that weight has returned to my body. Some of it, as I have shared, may be due to hormonal fluctuations, but some of it is a result of my choices outside of godly parameters. I know God will show me what weight he intends for me to carry and what isn’t, but I will get there by praising Him and obeying Him. This I know. He doesn’t want me thin nearly so much as he wants me to be his. Sometimes, in an extreeeeeme effort to be thin, I keep my heart from him. What I write about here is also an antidote to that tendency!

It sounds simple to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are not. And it is simple.

But it is far from easy!

Why is that?

There is a well within me…and within you. A well that calls to be filled. It *demands* to be filled. It is a well, an empty open space that I believe Solomon refers to when he says “He has set eternity in the hearts of men” in Ecclesiastes 3:11.

We were made for eternity! That is why so much on this earth grates against us, why we long for beauty and peace! If we realize that these longings are satisfied with Him and go to Him to fill them, then we will stop misinterpreting them as something that is answered with a physical solution–like food. Often, we turn to food to quiet the hunger in our hearts that is really for heaven.

Conversely, we may be tempted to look to *diets* to quiet the same hunger for beauty, perfection, or success in our hearts. If reason that if we can only string together enough “good” diet days to lose weight and get thin, we think, somehow, that the ache in our hearts will subside. 

As I have been slooooooowly developing a life of praise and gratitude–what I was born to do–there is a deep, abiding sense of satisfaction that has taken root… It is the “magic” solution for the emptiness I have often fed with food, in fact. The days when I don’t sense this satisfaction are the days when I have taken my eyes off of God and placed them on my circumstances. It is so obvious that there is a connection for me.

As I choose to focus on God’s amazing attributes and choose to give praise and thanks to him, there is a transformation going on in my heart *and* mind *and* body. I begin to think of *my* food, *my* body, *my* way, *my* will less and less. And food and body issues don’t seem to be such a struggle.
Here is how it works:  My teenagers and I homeschool. We are together a lot. In my “hypothetical” situation, let’s say my kids start fighting. I don’t handle this very well (partly due to my own upbringing). I get agitated. (This happened yesterday. It was amazing how it just clicked on with the fighting that was happening in my home!) My natural inclination is to get irritated with God, “I don’t care what you want me to do right now. I want food. I like food. Food makes me happy and since you aren’t answering my prayers about peace in my family, I will do what I want!” (Can you hear how spoiled and “tantrum-y” this is?)

Truly, I tend to want food to comfort and numb me to the pain that emerges (partly from my past).

But, the way praising God helps is in these moments, I choose, instead, to say, “Lord, I thank you that you have given me two children who are precious to my heart. You are creative and king over all conflict and king of all peace. You are the precious shepherd who leads us beside the still waters. You delight over us with singing. You have given yourself so that we could live the abundant life and be free from having to sin. I am so thankful God that you have given me a new life in Christ…”

I cry to you, O LORD;

I say, “You are my refuge,

my portion in the land of the living.

Psalm 142:5

Ok, if I am honest, it typically isn’t *that* easy either. Sometimes it is just a “You are God. You are my helper, so help me, please!”

Sometimes I pick up my guitar and sing “And I….I…I..I..I.. I’m desperate for you. And I…I….I…I..I.. I’m lost without you…” Truly…I have to choose to do this with an act of my will. But as I choose to focus on Him instead of the yuck happening in my face, something changes in me. As I do this, I am swept up in my heavenly calling…to worship God. My desire for food dissipates as I discover something that satisfies the ache that I have. It is a spiritual and emotional hunger that He alone can address.

I don’t end up grabbing for the food when I am not hungry.

How about today? Will I? Will you?…choose to praise the Lord when we aren’t hungry and exalt him for his greatness, his provision, his presence in our lives? 

Greg Laurie on Forgiveness

by Heidi Bylsma | May 13, 2010 | Blog

Pastor Greg Laurie speaks about forgiveness. He does a great job. Click here for a short blog post from him.

Memories of Mom Part 2

by Heidi Bylsma | May 12, 2010 | Blog

What happens when your life is eaten up, not by wrongs currently being done to you but by the lack of forgiveness that you allow to remain for yesterday’s wrongs? Who really is affected by my refusing to forgive?

ME.

I have found that apart from forgiveness, I will be MUCH more likely to chow down, inhale food, binge, and also to do that constant-just-a-bit-more-than-I-need munching in agitation.

When I keep accounts up to date and run to God to tell on the one who has wronged me, feel the pain, and then choose intentionally to release it to his care, to embrace his death on the cross as being sufficient, something …well… “magical” happens. It is supernatural. It is God’s kind of magic.

I don’t mean the “sanctified denial” that says, “Yes, Lord, I know I am supposed to forgive, so I forgive all my family members and the kids I knew growing up for being mean.” That is a great place to start, but at least for me, I found that God walked with me and showed me I needed to get down and dirty…and really deal with how I felt at the time of the wrong (even going back 40 years! It affected me today!), allow the pain and sadness and anger to wash over me but this time, this time, take the hand of Jesus Christ as he walked with me. He led me to look to him for his intentions and purposes in allowing the pain in the first place.

If you know that there are people in your life…no matter how small they may seem or how far removed from now…that you need to forgive, I want to encourage you to do it. When we get hurt today at the grocery store by the rude clerk, often, it is like rubbing salt in an old wound that never healed. We over-react and we wonder why the lady we don’t even know got such a rise out of us. Often this is an indicator that there are unresolved (unforgiven) issues from the past. I need to intentionally go with God to these places and ask him to help me to forgive.

I did that in detail with my mom and I have to continue to do it each time it resurfaces.

This has transformed my relationship with food and my body (and my mom!). I believe it can for many of us.

Photo!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 12, 2010 | Blog

Oh my! We had a talented teenager take a bunch of photos for us of our family. This is one she has gotten back to us. OH MY! I LOVE IT! Hubby and I haven’t had our photo together like this in FOREVER! 🙂

BLOG NEWS AND NOTES!

by Heidi Bylsma | May 11, 2010 | Blog

• You may have noticed I changed the template again. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t liking that other template AT ALL any more. I have a web designer working on a  new website for me and he will be integrating the blog. This one is only temporary, but I couldn’t wait any more! LOL!

• I have been praying about doing another study of the Thin Within book. If you are interested, please let me know in the comments here. I know that seems sort of lame–but I want an interactive study and need to know who might participate in real time with me. We would probably only do three chapters a week, making it a 10-week course and that, too, is only held loosely.

• I am forming a schedule for the blog so I can keep my focus and sanity. It goes something like this:

• One post a week for a post relating to the attributes of God from Ethel’s book and how focusing on that attribute affects our view of our bodies, food, and a battle with disordered eating. If any one else wants to get a copy of the book (I can’t believe that Kim in Japan didn’t win!)

• Two or three posts each week relative to a subject that comes up while studying the Thin Within book. Having the book won’t be necessary in order to benefit from these posts, but it might be helpful. These will have two components 1.) Devotional thought 2.) Practical suggestions

• One additional post each week from various and sundry things…I want to have lighter, fluffier stuff on some days…related to the same theme.

• One guest blog post every week or however often it seems to work. If you are interested in possibly writing a post to be featured here at this blog, please email me at cool horse woman @ gmail . com (push it all together when you email me). I will put together some guidelines and we can go from there.

And NOW the moment you have all been waiting for!!!!! The winners of the book contest!!! Each will receive a copy of Lord, Show Me Your Glory, which will be sent by the author (Ethel Herr) to her personally! A big ROUND OF APPLAUSE for:


MarinaRain
Kim
and Angeli (from Facebook)

Will those of you who won please do me a favor and send me the address (coolhorsewoman @ gmail . com) where the book should be sent? Also, please give me the name Ethel should use when she autographs the book personally.

Thank you SO much for participating everyone! I had quite a number of slips in the “hat” when I drew these three randomly!