by Christina Smith | Aug 15, 2014 | Blog
Image courtesy of Apolonia at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
It may be controversial, but I think we blame the food too much when it comes to our weight. When it comes to releasing weight and getting thin within, I personally believe it’s not about the food. In the past, when we want to shed the pounds, we change the way we eat. We count. We measure. We weigh. We change what we eat. Essentially, we blame the food and start to label food as “good” or “bad”. There’s way too much emphasis put on the food, but not about the emotions or the habits…or the heart and mind. Our physical weight and even the mental “weight” is just a symptom of what’s going on deep inside of us. It’s not about the food itself.
People can get really defensive about food. It has become a really personal and passionate topic. The opinions on food changes day to day from person to person.
We can have all sorts rules when it comes to food. We can limit our food intake. We can count and track, but ultimately, that’s just an external change. The thing that sticks is the internal change, in our heart, mind, and soul. Because really, how many diets exist in this world? Hundreds upon hundreds! And some of us have gone from one diet to the next, from one eating style to the next, from one restrictive plan to the next, and we lose weight, we gain it back, and then we lose, and then we gain MORE back. Why is that? I personally believe it’s because it’s not about the food; it’s about our heart. When we don’t get to the core issue of our eating habits, we lose sight of what’s truly important. Our eyes are on the types of food we eat and the quantity of food we eat, and we never glance at the condition of our heart and the patterns of our thinking. So if food isn’t the issue, why do we keep blaming the food?
When I first started this journey, I had a lot of fear about food. I thought that if I ate sugar, that I was tempting God and that it would kill my body. I had an extremely hard time pushing past the fears and the thoughts that plagued my mind. I cried out to the Lord for help and He answered my prayer. He showed me His truth. Even before this part of the journey started, I tried all sorts of ways of eating: food combining, eating right for my blood type, eating only raw foods, juicing, counting, weighing, measuring, etc.
We know what the always-and-forever-changing opinions of this world say about food, but what does God say about food in His Word?
- He has given us every herb and tree to eat of. (Genesis 1:29)
- Every animal is food along with herbs. (Genesis 9:3)
- Food has taste. (Job 6:6)
- He causes it to grow for the service of man. (Psalm 104:14)
- He gives all animals as food. (Psalm 136:25, Psalm 147:9)
- He gives food to the hungry. (Psalm 146:7)
- Eat only as much food as you need. (Proverbs 25:16)
- Food is for nourishment. (Proverbs 27:27)
- He gives us food. (Ezekiel 16:19)
- We aren’t to worry about what we eat. (Matthew 6:25)
- Food doesn’t defile a man. (Mark 7:19)
- Life is more than food. (Luke 12:23)
- Food strengthens. (Acts 9:19)
- All food is pure. Don’t eat with offense. (Romans 14:20)
- Food is for the stomach and vice versa. (1 Cor. 6:13)
- Food doesn’t make a difference in our relationship with God. (1 Cor. 8:13)
- No one is to judge us in food and drink. (Colossians 2:16)
- God created food to be received with thanksgiving. (1 Timothy 4:3)
I wrote down scriptures on notecards and read them each day until those fears dissipated. I knew from His Word that I can eat and enjoy all foods, but I needed more of an understanding of what God meant.
I looked up Galatians 5:1, which says, “Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.”
And 1 Timothy 4:1-5, which says, “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.”
And then I looked up both sets of scriptures in the Matthew Henry’s commentaries. These are the notes I wrote down in my journal:
- We are to look upon food as that which God has created; we have it from Him, and therefore must use it for Him.
- What God has created is to be received with thanksgiving. We must not refuse the gifts of God’s bounty, nor be scrupulous (strict) in making differences about food where God has made none; but receive them, be thankful, acknowledging the power of God, the Maker of them.
- Not only has He given us permission to eat all foods, allowing us the liberty of the use of these things, but He also promises to feed us with food that’s convenient for us.
- Every creature is God’s, for He made all. Every creature of God is good.
- The blessing of God makes every creature nourishing to us.
God also says in His Word, “Have you found honey? Eat only as much as you need, lest you be filled with it and vomit” (Proverbs 25:16). This is what Matthew Henry has to say about this verse (what I wrote in my journal): He talks about how we are allowed a sober and moderate use of the delights of sense. Honey is not forbidden. We may eat of it with thanksgiving. God has given us permission to make use of our taste buds. “Eat as much as is sufficient, and no more. The pleasures of sense lose their sweetness by the excessive use of them. Eat food with sobriety.” Eat between hunger and satisfaction (0-5).
Before anyone throws rotten tomatoes at me for sticking up for ALL foods–I also want to add that everyone has different convictions and preferences when it comes to food. When Paul was addressing the food issues in Romans 14 (it’s a really good read on this topic), he was letting us know that Christ has given us the liberty to enjoy all foods. He says not to be judgmental about it. He says not to eat food offered to idols. He says to eat with thanksgiving. He says not to make others stumble by what we eat.
So let no one judge you in food or in drink. Colossians 2:16a
When I was at a certain place in my journey where the Lord was showing me that I can eat all foods, I was so tempted to go back to some of my old ways of completely cutting out sugar because the lie was still there that sugar is evil. So as the Lord was showing me His truth that I could eat sweets within my boundaries (eating between 0-5 of hunger and satisfaction), the enemy was also trying to ensnare me with the lies that if I ate sugar then something really bad would happen. Someone even made a comment to me that sugar is “poison”. Wow! And they compared it to drugs. Ouch. Honestly, that was another hurdle I had to jump over with the Lord’s help. We have to be SO careful about our convictions and what we say to others. I bet that person had no idea that what they said would trip me up and cause me to stumble. Obviously, that person is passionate about not eating sugar, but God has been working so hard to free me from any rules man has made about food. Now, this doesn’t mean that all I eat are sweets; I believe in eating in moderation. What we eat over a long period of time is what counts; it’s not one meal or one day of eating that makes or breaks us.
Image courtesy of akeeris at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
And then there’s also foods that some of us cannot eat because it makes us physically ill. Maybe you have a gluten intolerance. Or maybe you are lactose intolerant. Whatever the case may be, I think we can be mindful of the food our body enjoys and be careful and considerate about sharing our convictions when it comes to food.
On pages 186-189 in Thin Within, it talks about how there are pleasers, teasers, total rejects and whole-body pleasers when it comes to food. The pleasers are foods you know you enjoy, maybe even by specific brand. They “hit the spot and bring physical satisfaction” (page 186). The teasers are foods that you don’t really think about until you see a picture of the food or someone mentions the food. They aren’t as satisfying of foods, so we may think that “more is better”. Total rejects are foods that are “simply not worth eating”. They may be too sweet, salty, artificially flavored, etc. Whole-body pleasers are “foods that make you feel good overall”. It’s the “foods that your body calls out for, are enjoyable while you eat them, and they leave you feeling energized afterward” (pages 188-189). I really like how Thin Within talks about these different ways we respond to foods. I believe different foods will fit in different categories for different people. What may be a whole-body pleaser for me may be different for someone else. Most of all, I just love the freedom God gives us when it comes to food.
I can either listen to what the world and the diet creators say about what I should or shouldn’t eat, or I can listen to what the Creator says about food. I will choose the latter because that’s where my peace resides. I’m choosing to turn my eyes away from all of the babble and confusion about it, and I’m choosing to fix my eyes on Jesus. He won’t lead me astray. I will listen to His voice. This is where it all boils down to–Jesus. He came to set us free from the law. And I believe in that freedom, He meant for us to be free even in what we eat. The world makes laws and rules about food, but God gives us the liberty to choose what is satisfying to us.
How about you? Have you been bombarded with all of the “billboards” about what the world says about food? Will you take a stand with me and turn a deaf ear to it and listen to the One who knows your needs when it comes to nourishing your body? Maybe you do have some passionate opinions and convictions on this subject, would you be willing to join me in being extra careful about sharing those convictions? Let’s walk in love!
P.S. Heidi wrote a great post about this a little while back. Click here to read!
by Christina Motley | Aug 8, 2014 | Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind
It was going to be an incredibly busy day. I jumped out of bed after hitting the snooze button a couple of times, groggy and half asleep. It had been a late night for me what with helping Katherine finish up her history project, reading just one more story with Madeline, filling out an orchestra permission slip for Christopher and cleaning up a huge kitchen mess. Then I had to gather materials for my first and third grade groups, and yes – Grandma Lois needed her laundry folded and put away – she had called me from the top of the stairs, asking for her favorite pajamas. My husband had been exhausted from a long day at work and an evening of working through finances with his mother. It was hard to imagine a more overwhelming season of life as my head hit the pillow.
I showered and dressed for work in the pitch dark and ice cold of the winter and I was grateful for a few quiet minutes alone. I sat down with my journal and started to pray. Lord . . . how will I be able to get it all done today? I am so tired, there is so much to do, so much to take care of right now. I am so inadequate, so insecure, so unequipped. I need you!!! I had hoped for a song to pop into my head, or a Bible verse to jump out at me, or a voice to speak in my mind, but all was quiet. The room was as still as can be . . . I only heard the tick, tick, ticking of the clock. It was good to be still for just a moment. I knew what I had to do, what I had committed to do as many times as I could squeeze it in during my crazy, busy day. I needed to renew my mind in Christ. In the most quiet, patient, loving way I felt Jesus beckon me to come to Him and fill my mind with His truth.
I showered and dressed for work in the pitch dark and ice cold of the winter and I was grateful for a few quiet minutes alone. I sat down with my journal and started to pray. Lord . . . how will I be able to get it all done today? I am so tired, there is so much to do, so much to take care of right now. I am so inadequate, so insecure, so unequipped. I need you!!! I had hoped for a song to pop into my head, or a Bible verse to jump out at me, or a voice to speak in my mind, but all was quiet. The room was as still as can be . . . I only heard the tick, tick, ticking of the clock. It was good to be still for just a moment. I knew what I had to do, what I had committed to do as many times as I could squeeze it in during my crazy, busy day. I needed to renew my mind in Christ. In the most quiet, patient, loving way I felt Jesus beckon me to come to Him and fill my mind with His truth.
I had been entrenched in emotional eating my entire adult life. I had popped chocolate chips like pills, snuck through drive thrus on the way to a destination, eaten bowls of ice cream late at night, baked cookies for the neighbors so that I could eat half of the dough in the bowl, and eaten chips and salsa until I had to unbutton my pants . . . I had been a seasoned emotional eater for at least 30 years, and no one knew it. After having my third child almost 9 years ago and weighing more than I had ever weighed I remember thinking, well now at least I have the excuse of being in my late 30’s and having been pregnant three times! I told everyone, myself included, that I had tried everything there was to try – every diet, every type of exercise, every book to work through, every weight loss group – and I just couldn’t get the weight off no matter what. This was the thorn in my side that I would just have to deal with for the rest of my life, I thought. I remember desperately looking through the photo albums in my mom’s cabinet, hoping to find that all of the women on my side of the family were overweight. They were, and I was able to tell myself that this was a matter of genetics and there was nothing I could do.
So, back to the cold, winter morning! As I resolved to renew my mind I looked out the window and noticed that tiny, shimmering snowflakes were falling from the sky. It was a magical moment, and I felt God’s touch on my heart. Just a few weeks before, in my desperation, utter frustration with myself and despair I had decided to give the principles of Thin Within a try one more time. I had been almost ready to give up . . . but not quite. Something was different this time. At first I was able to follow my boundaries just minutes at a time, then several hours at a time, and now I was completely surprised to find that I could even go a half a day without breaking my boundaries. Dinner time was a huge challenge for me. I would begin preparing dinner with slight hunger, nibble during the preparation, sit down to dinner not really hungry at all and then eat a regular size meal to end up way past full. Some days I would stuff in dessert after that because after all, I had already messed the whole thing up, right? But things were changing . . . yes, something was really different this time.
I had a short praise fest with God, read through some truth cards and surrendered my crazy, busy day to the Lord. Then I spent about a minute going through my day in my mind and preparing myself for the challenges with eating ahead. Should I stop and get a mocha on the way to work? I’m not hungry at all for breakfast this morning, should I take something along with me and eat it during recess? What if my favorite donuts are in the lounge today? I will be having a celebration party with my Kindergarten group today, will I be hungry when I pass out the graham crackers and grapes? There will undoubtedly be chocolates passed around during the staff meeting after school, what should I do about that? When I get home after school the kids will be hungry as always for snacks. Should I join them? What if I am not hungry? What will I be making for dinner tonight? What if I don’t nibble before dinner, then have an extra small portion of spaghetti and save room for a couple of oreos to eat with the family?
I walked through my busy day intentionally interacting with His truth for me, and thanking Him whenever I had the chance . . . at my desk in the morning while preparing materials, in the bathroom during recess, in the hallway on the way to pick up my next group, on my way home from picking up my middle schoolers in the car. This wasn’t easy! It was hard work to focus on God’s truth for me all day long, and I really did not have the time. But it was GOOD work. It felt good, and right, and before I knew it hours and hours were going by in which I had stuck to my boundaries. Wow!
So, what is different this time? My focus! I have completely changed my focus and for the first time in my life, and all of the things I have tried to change my heart in this thorn in my side of emotional eating – something really IS different. My heart is changing and I am so grateful. I am deliberately, systematically, relentlessly, creatively finding the time to renew my mind with God’s truth so often during each day that I am finally starting to crowd out the lies and untruths that have held me back and paralyzed me in this area of my life for so long. What is true for me right now, Lord, in this very situation? God will show you if you ask. He will show you in the most loving, understanding, gentle way, and then He will wink at you, or smile at you, or wrap His arms around you and remind you how much He loves you. These are some of the most precious moments I have ever had with my Savior, and I wouldn’t trade them for all the baked potatos, oreo cookies and chicken sandwiches in the world!
I sang “Jesus Loves You” to my youngest daughter in the darkness of the night and kissed her goodnight. She was the last one, the other two were already asleep and my husband was snoring, book in hand. In my exhaustion I made lunches for the next day, finished up the dishes, called in a prescription for my mother in law, put Madeline’s homework in her backpack, threw in a load of laundry, paid a few bills and collapsed on the couch. I closed my eyes and took a minute to think about the day. Lord, Lord! I made it! I had a couple of missteps with my boundaries, but overall I surrendered my food to you today and held it with open hands. A lovely feeling of victory surged through my body and I smiled for a whole minute. I invited Jesus to sit down with me on the couch and we enjoyed the moment together. It had started to snow again and there was a chill in the air. But my Savior was warming me with His presence, and it was the best feeling in the world.
“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?” Jeremiah 32:27
“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 1:6
“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:a
What about you? Do you often feel that you are too busy to do the work of renewing your mind? Have you tried preparing for your day by thinking through how you might eat in certain situations? What might happen if you renew your mind with God’s amazing truth several times a day? I challenge you to try it . . . “taste” and see that God is good!!!
by Christina Smith | Aug 6, 2014 | Blog, Renew Mind
A few weeks ago, the Lord told me to “starve the skinny idol”. This was shortly after He showed me that I had made “skinny” an idol in my life. It was quite shocking news! Me? Serving an idol? Yup!
I dreamed of having “rock hard abs” or “flat abs”. I had envisioned myself looking like Denise Austen or other exercise gurus. I sought after it. I deemed myself too flabby and went on a quest to “live the dream”. Well, that so-called dream became my master.
“That other person, idea, or dream is your master, and it takes you over without your being aware of it.”*
That’s exactly what happened to me. I lived and breathed this desire to have a certain look. I wanted to be strong and to be at a certain weight. If there was a book about it, I read it. If there was a diet to help me live out my dream, I tried it or at least considered it. I joined a fitness forum online so I could discuss this dream. I counted calories. I tracked points. I stopped eating certain foods. I tried to eat only raw foods. And on and on and on.
I made skinny my “functional god”.
“They’re trapped, they’re deceived, and they’re miserable because they made a functional god of something or someone other than the one true living God.”*
I thought, when I am skinny, I will be happy. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I lost a certain amount of weight or looked a certain way. But even when I lost the desired weight, I thought, “How about 5 more pounds?” You see, the enemy loves that we serve the skinny idol, or any idol for that matter. He wants us to feel like we are never enough. So I thought if I tried a different method, diet, technique, workout program, etc., that then I would have what I wanted. Sure, I asked God for help, but “God won’t help us chase our idols.”*
My heart was set on being skinny. “Idolatry is who or what you worship, what you long for, what your heart is set on.”* And the sad thing is that back in the day, when I started on this quest, I was completely fine the way I was. I believed the lies of the enemy that I needed to be more or less. I didn’t think I was good enough where I was; so without realizing it, I built up my altar and started serving the skinny idol.
This is a photo of me from 2005, when I thought I needed to lose weight:
Oh how I wish I could go back to that young lady (myself) and tell myself that I was fine and to STOP obsessing. I wish I could go back and tell her the truth. I know different ones in my life did try, but I wasn’t convinced. I really thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t have rock-hard abs. I remember asking my husband to take pictures of me when I was sitting down so I could see if my stomach stuck out and rolled out as I was imagining it to be (it wasn’t). The funny thing is, after having two babies, and looking back, those abs look great! Ha!
So when the Lord revealed this idol to me about a month ago, I started to sort of panic. I have served this idol and it has served me. It’s been my familiar friend, my companion, my security blanket all of these years. It’s what I could obsess over; and boy, have I obsessed! “It’s hard [to demolish the idol], not only because they don’t want to leave, but also because we don’t really want to lose them.”* Exactly!
This idol has kept me “fixed”. It’s like a drug. I feel “high” when I focus on the things that feed this idol: like thinking about starting a new diet. “We may experience initial relief, so then we cling to them, making them the objects of our desire. As these objects grow in importance, our behavior becomes habitual and we can no longer satisfy or relieve our needs in healthy ways. Even if we want to break free, we find ourselves enslaved.”** I have looked to my idol to fulfill me; but only God can fulfill me.
I’ve often asked myself why I would give into this idol, this addiction. When I look back to when I erected this idol, there were a lot of things in my life that I felt were spinning out of control. Relationships were changing. Boundaries had to be placed. There was a lot of emotional uneasiness. Looking back, I am beginning to see that instead of depending on God completely, I began to place trust in this idol to help me through. I grasped onto anything that felt solid at the time to hold me up.
Now that He’s revealed this idol to me, I’m accountable to tear it down. In 1st and 2nd Chronicles, it talks about how there would be a new king on the throne and it would say if that king demolished the high places and idol altars or not. Kings built, tore down, and built them up again. I want this idol to come down for good and not ever be built up again. I’m starting to see that it comes down to 2 choices: either I can trust God or I can trust the “golden calves” of the skinny idol. I can serve God or “mammon”, but I cannot serve both.
I didn’t trust God to take care of this area of my life. Oh, I would claim He was leading me (which I think He did at times–to turn away from the idol), but I did NOT want to give up the control of this area of my life. It’s ridiculous because idols only hurt us. “We think they’re more predictable than God is, and they keep us in the driver’s seat.”* Oh yes, I have told God to move over plenty of times. I’m driving! I will get my rock-hard abs no matter what! Trust God? Whatever!
I didn’t want to wait on God. “And so we turn to idols, often just to remove the uneasy feeling of waiting and depending on God.”* I think a lie I have believed is, “God won’t help me, so I will do this myself. He probably just wants me to be fat.” Yeah…not cool! “We are anxious about our idols. We think, “What if I don’t get what I want? What if I lose it?”” I held on dearly to what I wanted because I was afraid God wouldn’t give it to me in my way and in my time. Truth is, God is more concerned about my heart than my outward appearance. Of course He wants us healthy and at our God-given weight, BUT He wants my heart. He is a jealous God. He doesn’t want us bowing down to any other gods. And I certainly made a god, an idol, out of skinny.
“Addiction and disordered eating end and dependence begins when we stop relying on our own will to get what we want and begin trusting God to give us what he knows we need.”**
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be slim, but it’s not ok when it’s ruling my life.
I want the guarantee that I will never be overweight again and that I will lose the “fluff” if I am going to follow God’s ways. But the thing is–nothing in this life is a guarantee! Only God is unshakable and unchangeable. He is our only guarantee.
So what it all boils down to is this–is God enough for me? If I never release another pound, is He enough? If I never have rock-hard abs, is He enough? Yes, yes, yes!!
What does it mean to “starve the skinny idol”? That’s something I’ve been asking the Lord and learning about. When you starve something, you don’t give it anything that will keep it alive, not even a crumb. So what’s kept this idol alive in my life? I can name a few things: obsessing over food, researching food and diets, being fixated on my body, reading anything that brings on the obsession, etc. So by starving the idol, that means not doing any of those things. And it also means changing my focus. We were all meant to serve God and have a relationship with Him. There is a yearning in every person’s heart for Him. But we find things that become “functional gods” to us. I want to serve God. I want to give Him all of my heart, mind and soul. I don’t want to give anymore of my time, heart, mind, or soul to “skinny”. My focus needs to get back onto Jesus Christ, my Redeemer, my Deliverer!
So as I’ve been working on taking down this idol and demolishing it, the idol has tried to remake itself in my life using what I listed above. And the areas this idol has served me has been tricky to pin down at times and it seems like it has 1,000 lives. I wrote this in my journal, “I have to ask God for help if I’m going to spot them, pin them down, and kill them as fast as they appear.”
“Whenever we erect and bow down to an idol, we displace our dependency on God. We struggle to stay at the center of it all through willpower, manipulating people, doing everything in our own strength, trying to look just right, and falsely believing that we are in charge of our life. We think we can do anything through willpower, even control our addictions, but the blessed gift of addiction is that it fails us. If we are honest with ourselves, we eventually reach a point where we must admit we can’t go on like this; that we are out of control. It is God who allows us to see the futility of placing our hope and trust in the false idols of our own making. Then he helps us discover and articulate the aching, unfulfilled emptiness at the core of our being and invites us to take the first step toward God-centered healing.”**
And that’s the thing, I was placing my dependency on this idol, not on God. I thought if I could just control my eating, that then I would get what I wanted. But what I truly needed was the Lord. I’m coming to realize that if there’s an idol, an addiction, or something is just plain wrong, that’s an indication that something within me needs more of God.
The lie is that the idol will make us happy, that it will fuel us. But the truth is that we cannot live on substitutes. My heart will “never be satisfied apart from God in Christ Jesus.”* Only God can satisfy. Substitutes never satisfy. The skinny idol just made me lust for more, more, more. And I was left wanting more.
This is like Paul, in Philippians chapter 4, saying, I will be content whether well-fed or hungry. It’s choosing to be content. It’s getting to that place, that no matter what, we are satisfied in God alone and that He is enough.
Something else I wrote in my journal was this: Going to an idol instead of God is committing spiritual adultery. Ouch!
After the Lord revealed truth to me about this idol in my heart, I realized that I needed a plan to starve this idol and to renew my mind, because there were literally days where “skinny” was on my mind consistently all throughout the day. I didn’t know how to pinpoint the thoughts and take them captive to the obedience of Christ. And so I figured that starting somewhere is better than doing nothing. Part of my plan (and what I’ve been doing) is putting my focus more on Christ. I’m reading through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and I’ve been reading Galatians over and over again. It’s been awesome! I wake up and instead of thinking about “skinny”, I get so excited to be in the Word and to get to know Jesus more. I’ve also been reading my truth cards more often. I also picked out sets of questions from the I Deserve a Donut app by Barb Raveling to answer in my journal: which has been extremely helpful in renewing my mind (the sets of questions I’ve been using are: Discontentment, Greed & Lust, Envy, Insecurity: Feeling Inadequate, Insecurity: Living Up to Expectations, Insecurity: People Pleasing, and Insecurity: Self-Condemnation). And when I look in the mirror and feel any sense of dissatisfaction, I thank the Lord for my body. Through all of this, and putting my focus on Christ, I have noticed that I’m no longer focused on skinny like I once was. Praise God!
I still have work to do. There are times I’m tempted to go on a diet to have my “guarantee”, so I have to keep pressing on and looking to the Lord and His truth. This is a journey. We learn and grow every day.
How about you? Have you made skinny an idol in your life? Have you served the scale or the food? Where do you turn when the going gets tough? Are you clinging to a “functional God” or the one true living God? Ask the Lord to search your heart and He will show you. If you are afraid you won’t like what you see, know that He is there to forgive as we repent, and He is there to help to get us where we need to be. He will help us follow Him, but He won’t help us chase our idols.
P.S. You can hear more about what God has revealed to me in this Sound Cloud file I recorded:
[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/160296439″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /]
*Quoted from Gospel Treason by Brad Bigney
** Quoted from Hunger Within by Arthur & Judy Halliday (chapter 6)
by Christina Smith | Jul 28, 2014 | Accountability, Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind
Photo courtesy to www.freedigitalphotos.net
Dear Scale, I’m done with you! I’m finished! You no longer get to tell me who you think I am or how well I am doing. You do NOT define me! You are not my friend anymore. Goodbye! Sincerely, Christina
This is overdue. I meant to write this weeks ago.
It’s Sunday night, July 13, 2014. We had a glorious weekend with BEAUTIFUL weather! We live in Southeast Alaska. It rains a lot here. We get 14-feet of precipitation a year. Yes, you read that right, 14 FEET! Our temperatures this weekend were in the upper 70’s. That is warm for us. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!
Last night, I had this idea that I would weigh myself this morning. About a month ago, I removed the scale from my bathroom and put it in this storage space we have below our house, which is in a room above our cistern. (Because of all the rain we get, we collect the rain water into our cistern tanks, which is then filtered, and that’s the water we use for drinking and bathing). The room above the cistern is like an above ground crawl space. That’s where the scale lived for a few weeks…until last night when I got that [evil] thing out. Some of you may be wondering if I prayed about this: NOPE! I was full-throttle on-a-mission and I think the Lord was like, “Okay, have your way. You shall see…”
Mirror, mirror…who is the most beautiful of all? Well, let’s just say it’s, “Scale, scale, tell me, am I beautiful? Have I been good? Am I too much? Or not enough?”
I thought, “I’ve been doing really well (I’ve been good). I’m following my boundaries pretty consistently. God is changing me and transforming me. Let’s see the proof in the puddin’!”
I woke up. I got out of bed. I went (yeah, you know what I mean, let’s empty everything so no ounce counts against us). I put my 8-pound weight on the scale just to be sure it’s accurate (oh boy!). I stepped on the scale.
I gained 2 pounds! TWO pounds! GAINED!
Wait! This can’t be right.
Step off the scale.
Let’s try that 8-pound weight again.
Ready. Let’s try this again.
Step up.
Still a 2-pound gain. Sigh.
Now remember, it’s a beautiful day. But the majority of my day was spent in with this cloud hanging over me, all because of a number. A number. Two measly pounds. I let it define me. I let it steal my joy. I let it steal my whole day. I was grumpy. I set the mood for my home and my husband was affected, and so was my daughter. I was in a stinkin’, rotten mood all because of a contraption that spits out a number.
Really? I’m going to let it have that much leverage?
I’m DONE with it!
I am NOT what I weigh. I am defined by Jesus Christ.
So hours later, which really should have been right away, I sat down and renewed my mind using the Dumb Scale Eating questions from I Deserve a Donut app (there’s also the book) by Barb Raveling. That helped, but I still had a bad attitude. So then a little while later, I renewed my mind with the Discontentment questions from the same app. One of the questions asks what God wants me to do, and right away He showed me that I needed to apologize to my family for having such a bad attitude. And so I did, and they forgave me (along with hugs and kisses).
I’ve never walked away from the scale feeling better. Even if I had a weight loss, I still felt discontentment rising up in me. It will never be enough. It’s a tool the enemy has used in my life to make me feel like the scum of the earth. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but really, I have allowed it to define me. I am not my weight. I am more than a number!
So this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to ask my husband to hide the scale and I’m going to ask him to not let me have it back–ever! (Unless the Lord clearly gives me the “ok” to weigh). Really, I’m so done with it! We actually have a use for the scale for weighing our luggage when leaving town since Alaska Airlines doesn’t really like a bag to be over 50-pounds (sometimes we are just tired of the rain and we would rather see snow or sun, you know?). We aren’t light packers, what can I say? So…he’s going to hide it and I’m going to be done with it.
Will you join me in this? Will you get rid of or ask a family member to hide the scale? Or wean yourself off the number-spitting contraption? Maybe instead of every day, how about once a week? And then once a month, and then every 3 months? And then never? The number isn’t important. You are important!
This is a scripture that was included with the Discontentment questions from I Deserve a Donut. It really spoke to me:
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being RENEWED day by day. For momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Cor. 4:16-18
I don’t want to look at what is seen (the scale). I want to believe by faith that God is doing a work in me. Because He is transforming me, from the inside out. One of the questions asked in the Dumb Scale Eating questions is: Is it more important to lose weight, or to consistently renew your mind so you change the way you think about food?
Well, obviously it’s more important to consistently renew my mind. Because I have chosen to renew my mind and because God has transformed me (and continues to do so), I have seen some amazing changes take place. I no longer think about food like I used to. I used to lust after hunger (being at 0), but now sometimes when I’m hungry, I feel like it’s an inconvenience because I’m working on a project or spending time with my family. I’m no longer fearful about food (I used to think that sugar and carbs were doing deathly damage to my body). I eat smaller portions at restaurants (this is a new change). I don’t like feeling full, which for me is a “6”, where before, I used to numb myself with food. I no longer immediately think about eating after my kids are in bed (that is a HUGE transformation change–praise God!). And by following my boundaries, I was able to stay at a very healthy weight during my pregnancy. So WHY would I let a number make me feel like a failure? No way! I’m not doing that anymore!
I don’t know why I gained 2 pounds. But I’m not going to spend my time focusing on why. I’m just going to continue doing what I am doing: following my boundaries and most importantly renewing my mind. Taking the time to renew my mind about this got my attention today. God exposed the lies and revealed truth. The lie: you are what you weigh. The truth: the scale doesn’t define me; Christ defines me.
So would you join me on this quest to say goodbye to the scale? Let’s do it!
P.S. About 1-1/2 weeks after I weighed myself, I was able to tighten my belt one more notch. Praise God! So obviously something is happening. A new thing is happening! God is doing work from the inside out!
by Christina Smith | Jul 11, 2014 | Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
On June 6, 2014 at 3:00 am, the Lord gave me a dream. My son woke up shortly after I had the dream for a feeding. As I was feeding him his bottle, the Lord gave me the interpretation to the dream. I couldn’t wait to write the dream and the interpretation in my journal. This has been monumental truth in my life! I pray that this will encourage you as well!
In the dream, some other girls and I were kidnapped. I won’t go into the details, but I could tell that we had been with these kidnappers for quite awhile because we got used to them and after awhile we were looking to them to take care of us and protect us–even though they were still evil.
This is what I wrote in my journal at 3:30 am:
We are held captive for so long that we become friends with and trust our captors. We begin to rely heavily upon their “protection” even though they are harmful to us. And when we are actually free to run away or get help, we stay captive because we become like the elephant and think the rope is still tied to us–but we are actually free. We are actually strong enough to escape captivity, but being held captive is all we know. (I think it was Ginger that Heidi posted on Facebook about writing a book and she shared a story about how when they are training baby elephants to be in the circus or maybe the zoo, they tie a rope around one of their legs so they can’t go anywhere. As the elephant gets older, it stays in one place and doesn’t think it can move, but the rope has been removed a long time ago). It becomes a comfort to us. We get hurt because we are held captive, but we cling to our captors for help. It doesn’t make sense.
So this is what the Lord showed me–this is what I am doing with the diets and obsessive researching and thinking about trying to change things with what I am eating all the time. These are the things that held me captive for so long, and now I am free, but I’m like that elephant–I’m strong, but I am so used to being in one place and thinking that I am stuck in one place, that I haven’t moved. So even though the obsessive thoughts and diets have been harmful, it’s a comfort zone for me, so I keep on wanting to stick around. And even though in the dream I could have jumped out of a car, made a phone call, or cried out for others to help me get away from the kidnappers, I chose to stay because it was safer that way and didn’t cause me as much harm–even though these kidnappers could have harmed or killed me just like that and without even a care in the world. I have put my trust in my captors–in these programs, obsessive thoughts, etc.
“Prisons can be safe and comfortable. They can become a known life, a familiar way. Resignation is safe; dreaming is dangerous. Letting someone else control your life is easier than rising up to deny them control; the relationship will never be the same…The known is always more comfortable and less risky than the unknown…Not a one of us was created to live in captivity.”*
So I am free! God has thrown the prison doors wide open. The shackles have been removed. I can walk in freedom! I just have to choose it! “We will have to choose freedom and fight for our freedom as the Scripture urges…You pay too high a price to stay in chains. Freedom is what you are made for; freedom is good.”*
Just like I posted about Galatians 5:1, I have to LET myself be free! I’m still learning this. (Even the night before this is being posted, I’m still trying to keep myself from being free by giving myself another food rule; this has got to stop! I have to choose to stop it!) It baffles me that I would even let myself be held captive when I really am totally free! The prison doors are open, so why don’t I just run out? Probably because this has been 12 years of familiarity to me. And honestly, it’s sort of scary! I’m sure the Israelites felt the same way when they were out wandering in the wilderness. Egypt was slavery, but it was what they were familiar with. For some, it was all they knew. They had never lived a life of freedom before. So why is freedom so scary to us?
“A known captivity is more comfortable than an unknown freedom.”
–author unknown
How do we hold ourselves captive when it comes to our eating and body image? For me, it’s been opening links to before/after pictures of someone’s success with a particular diet or exercise program, it’s thinking critical thoughts of my body, researching different ways of eating, focusing on a body part that I’ve never really liked (but I’m learning to love), etc. It’s also been thinking I need to change the way I eat, do an exercise challenge, or thinking I need to be skinny (I will be sharing another post about this some time soon). These are all things that hold me back from experiencing the freedom God meant for me. Being critical of myself and my body holds me back from loving who God has created me to be. Reading about diets or thinking that I need to change my eating is me searching for some perfect set of boundaries. Thinking I need to do some intense exercise program puts my eyes back on me, me, me, me, me–instead of Christ. These are the things that trip me up. The excessive focus and the obsession with food, my body, and thinking I need to be ‘skinny’ is like slapping the chains right back on. Christ is like, “You’re free!” And I’m like, “I’m scared of this freedom!” Christ is like, “Follow these simple boundaries.” And I’m like, “But Lord, I know these other paths will lead me to where I want to be (worshipping the ‘skinny’ idol).” I put the shackles back on.
You see, I have been comfortable with those things that held me captive for so long. It’s become like a friend. I could run away, but this is all I’ve known for a long, long time. For some of us, being overweight has felt comfortable because it’s sort of like a wall we have put up, a defense mechanism to keep the people away that could hurt us. For some of us, driving through drive-thru after drive-thru is comforting because we get to eat and numb ourselves. For some, not eating brings us comfort because we are in control (even though it’s completely out of control). I don’t know your particular reason, but I know that Christ wants to free you from those chains. The devil has spewed out his lies upon you long enough. It’s time to bruise him under our feet (Romans 16:20) and throw off those chains and RUN out of captivity!
Shake off your dust;
rise up, sit enthroned, Jerusalem.
Free yourself from the chains on your neck,
Daughter Zion, now a captive.
Isaiah 52:2
Sometimes, I think, in a humorous way, that the Lord must slap His hand to His forehead in disbelief that I’m doing it again. But there I am, looking back at Egypt. “Those leeks and onions sure look good! What is this manna anyway?”
So how to I stop being so stubborn and free myself? I am already free, so how do I walk out that freedom? This is probably going to come as a big surprise to you (not really):
I need to renew my mind!
Big shocker there, right? *wink*
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
What’s God’s good, pleasing and perfect will for me? FREEDOM!
How will I be transformed and be free from the pattern of this world? RENEWING MY MIND!
What is the pattern of this world? To be selfish, proud, serving other gods, envy, greed, lust, etc.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of the “pattern” of this world. I’m tired of the world telling me that I *have* to be skinny, that I *have* to eat a certain way, that I *have* to bow down to the gods of this world if I want to be happy and blah, blah, blah.
Can you tell I’m getting feisty?
So I’m doing it! I’m taking off the chains and taking those steps in my newfound freedom! I’m renewing my mind every time I am tempted to go back to captivity. I’m going to choose not to open the books or sites on the internet that would trip me up. I have to keep my eyes on what Christ has asked me to do, not what the world is beckoning me to do. It also might mean excusing myself from conversations that would only ensnare me.
I’m going to fix my eyes on Christ!
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3
Are you with me on this? Are you ready to release yourself from what has held you captive for so long and live your life in freedom? Freedom from diets, from being critical of your body, from counting, weighing, etc.? We can do this together! Let’s throw off those chains and RUN to Jesus!!! Let’s renew our minds together and watch the beautiful transformation take place!
*Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream of You by Stasi Eldredge
