by Barb Shelton | Jun 20, 2017 | Blog
I was watering our garden one day, trying to figure out how much is the right amount of water for my plants, and the right amount of time to water. I’m not exactly famous for having the most lush gardens or plants in my home; I tend to either over-water or under-water, and neither approach results in happy, thriving plants.
I noticed there were places where the soil got completely moistened with the water I gave it.
In other places it looked only barely moist.
And there were still other places where I had watered not long before, yet that were completely dry.
I realized that there were several things affecting my garden hydration efforts…
AMOUNT OF SUN
Of course, the amount of sun the area had beating down onto it played a big part in how dry it was, and how quickly it would become dry again.
In most analogies, I like to equate the sun with God and his warm grace, but this analogy is different…
Here I liken the beating-down sun to the “hard stuff” in my life. Things that are just rotten, awful, hard, painful, not going away, and that I have no power to change. They just keep beating down on me – and drying me out – like the hot sun in a parched desert.
It isn’t necessarily our “fault” if we have a lot of “hard sun” beating down on our life. It can be, if we’ve done wrong things that opened ourselves up to it. But there is much forgiveness for anything we have done wrong, and then we have a God who wants to walk with us through the consequences; not just put us through them as punishment.
But “the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike,” so many things that happen are not because of our sin or faults, but only because this is Planet Earth, where hard stuff happens. We are not in Heaven yet. That’s the next chapter. (And there are days I look more forward to getting there than others!)
TYPE OF CONTAINER
Then there’s also the matter of the type of container or pot – or lack thereof – that a plant is in. A non-porous pot – metal or painted – does not allow nearly as much water to evaporate out through its walls as does a porous earthenware pot.
In fact, I’ve learned to not even put plants into smaller plain (as in unpainted) earthenware – “terra cotta” – pots as they dry out very quickly, and most of my plants die quickly in them.
At this point in my life, I am like a very porous earthenware pot. This whole thing of needing to die to my flesh in the area of food and eating is draining, in every sense of the word.
It involves allowing God to remove ~ as in peel off one layer at a time ~ my yucky “graveclothes” and reveal the stuff in me that either is dead, dying, or that needs to die.
I have to remember that this isn’t to annihilate me – though it feels like it sometimes in the midst of a painful process – but only to get me the end result of being healed and made whole and new. But it makes me “leaky” (including my eyes) and feeling very vulnerable. And greatly in need of a lot of God’s softening, moistening, refreshing and healing water.
Lesson from the pot type element: I need to allow the Holy Spirit to “seal” me in with His presence so that the watering of the Lord doesn’t just evaporate out!
PROXIMITY OF PLANTS TO EACH OTHER
I also noticed that the proximity of a plant to other plants made a difference in how soon the area would need to be watered again. I noticed that I was much less likely to see dry soil around plants that were close to other plants. The water seemed to soak through the whole area, probably through the common root system. And maybe just the interactive ambiance between them! Plus the shade the close-together plants created kept water from evaporating.
It doesn’t take too much imagination to translate this part of the analogy! Read any article on losing weight, or a testimony of someone who has lost – and kept off – weight, and they almost always include “accountability” in the list of tips.
We have also heard in Thin Within that our need for accountability is great. It took me a while before I finally started taking advantage of that here! Once I recommitted myself to doing this ~ to being in this kind of relationship – with you precious ladies here in the Thin Within community, I found it was absolutely priceless, and I now love it!
Being close to each other actually helps all of us retain our moisture and reduces the likelihood of “drying out on the vine”!
ENOUGH TIME
So how much time is “enough” time – especially with the Lord? It dawned on me, as I watered my garden, that I don’t need to focus on “putting in a certain amount of time” with the Lord, but that I need to give Him enough time to allow enough of His glorious healing and unlimited water to soak all the way down to my dry and needy roots; down to where my deepest need is.
“I pray…that out of his glorious, unlimited resources He will give you the mighty inner strengthening of his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love…” (Ephesians 3:14-17 TLB)
YES!!! This is what I desperately need! My roots need to “go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love”! The rest of this passage in Ephesians 3:14-19 (TLB) has even more life-giving water as it elaborates on what this “marvelous love” is like:
“…and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.“
Getting filled up by the Lord isn’t so that I can say “I spent such-and-such an amount of time with the Lord today,” (which my “to-do-ish” nature gravitates to!), but so that my roots, the very core of me, can have all the Living Water I need to be nourished, refreshed, and healed. Transformed ~ from the INSIDE OUT! Psalm 1 says:
“Blessed is the one … whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers.“
I have much on my proverbial plate in this season of my life, and am way too easily distracted to get to the things I want and need to do. I have too often simply – and sadly – not given my roots “enough” water, or my heart enough Jesus. It comes out in there being too little grace, too much negativity, and too easily feeling discouraged.
I am SO grateful for the various Thin Within communities! Each one that I have been a part of has been a sweet blessing, but a blessing that I have not “taken advantage of” nearly as often as I need to. Notice I didn’t say “as often as I should.” This is because there’s no “should”; only what I actually need.
I too easily allow other things to crowd in and take the place of spending the time I need to with the Lord. It’s also too easy to not connect with my sisters, especially when I’ve derailed and am not walking in the truth I know the Lord wants me to be. In other words ~ sinning and walking in disobedience. Like Adam and Eve, it’s much easier to hide. So, rather than being a part of the help we most desperately need, we drift apart from each other.
So, with me, will you re-state your desire to connect? Here is the two-fold intent that will keep us from drying out:
1) One is my commitment to give the Lord more time to go more deeply into me, down into the dry, crusty, dark places that are in need of His touch and His redeeming work.
2) And I’m also restating my commitment to come to my Thin Within community more often and to not only share nuggets of my journey with you precious ladies, but also to be showered with the refreshing “Living Water” that the ladies (and a few guys) here so lavishly share here out of their own walks with the Lord!
I am so thankful for the openness to so vulnerably share our journeys!
“And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.” (Isaiah 58:11)…
COME TO HIM
So how will we get watered? One last verse comes to mind:
“My heart has heard You say, ‘Come and talk with Me, oh my people.'”
…which I take to mean that He actually wants me to come and talk with Him even, if not especially, when I’m in a bad mood or a dark place, ashamed of my repeated failings, my sin, my battle with food addiction, my frustrations with myself, and the feelings of hopelessness that get a hold of me and try to drag me down into the pit of despair. I don’t need to clean myself up to come to Him; He wants to do that! I just need to let Him!
So, even when I’d rather hide,
“by the mighty power of the Spirit of the Lord at work within me,” I will instead say: “…and my heart responds ‘LORD, (and you sisters here in the Thin Within community!), I AM COMING!’“
Does this post look familiar? That’s cuz it first appeared here on the Thin Within blog over a year ago, on May 9, 2016 under Deanna Burris’ name! I (Barb) was not officially blogging for Thin Within at the time, so Deanna posted it for me. However, I have since come on board TW’s blog team and wanted to both revise it and also to get it under my name for reference purposes. Hope this clears up any confusion. 🙂 I am happy to say that, in this last year, I have followed my own “two-fold intent” and am no longer dealing with “drying out on the vine”!
by Deanna Burris | Aug 15, 2016 | Accountability, Blog, Book Study, Classes, Renew Mind
We have tools to use on this journey toward intuitive eating. Some come naturally and some come with some pain, but they all lead to a closer relationship with the Lord and they all lead to healing if we do the work needed to get there.
It started with a negative emotion. Anger. I had an issue going on in my life that was making me angry. And, it wasn’t just the anger that was causing problems but the obsessive thoughts that went along with the anger. My thoughts and obsessions about what was going on was becoming an idol and they were making me want to break my eating boundaries.
I’ve been in this community for almost two years, so I know the right tools to use when these situations come up, but I wasn’t using them. I had grown accustomed to dwelling on the problem. Have you ever felt like that? Sometimes we are so comfortable with the bad feelings that it takes a special circumstance to get us to want to change.
My special circumstance is taking a small group of ladies through Taste for Truth by Barb Raveling. I felt as a leader that it was about time I use our tools to work through what I was feeling. So I did. The first thing I did was make a commitment to my small group to go through the Anger and Annoyance questions in “I Deserve a Donut” by Barb Raveling. I completed my commitment, but it was difficult. I was weeping by the time I finished just the first couple of questions. Wow, now I know why it is so hard to actually do what helps us! I have to admit that even though it was difficult, I felt better when I completed my task.
The next day our lesson was on Truth Journaling. I took what I had written for the first question and used that for truth journaling. This opened my eyes to some things where I was in the wrong and believed lies instead of the truth.
The following day, I went back to complete our lesson on Day 21. I once again used my anger issue for this lesson. Barb asked us on Day 21 in Taste for Truth to focus on a trial that is going on right now. Then read Hebrews 12:1-15 and record everything it says about how God wants me to handle this trial and what He is hoping I will get out of it. Here is what I learned:
- Lord, You want me to lay aside the weight of this trial. It is not mine to carry.
- Lord, carrying weight that is not mine to carry is a sin. It is in essence saying that I should take care of my own trial instead of taking it to You. Lord, keep me from being ensnared by obsessive thinking which draws me into sin.
- Lord, You are calling me to endure this race I am running to You.
- Lord, You are telling me that the way to endure is to keep my eyes on You.
- Lord Jesus, You are the source and perfecter of my faith. I can’t grow in my faith without You.
- Lord Jesus, You called me as Your own and You feel joy in that.
- Lord Jesus, You endured the pain of the cross and suffered the shame of crucifixion for me, one of the sheep in Your fold. I praise You as You sit at Father God’s right hand in glory!
- Lord, as I look at Your example I see that as I walk with You and lean on You that I will not grow weary and lose heart.
- Lord, in my struggles against sin I am not doing well in resisting the pull. Lord, help me keep my eyes on You. Renew my mind as I turn to You.
- Lord, I am Your child; Your daughter. Let me not take Your discipline lightly. I know that Your discipline shows Your love for me. You desire my growth into the likeness of Jesus and You want Your will and glory to show forth from my life. That’s what I want too Lord!
- Lord, I can endure this suffering as Your loving discipline. Lord, show me what You want me to learn from this trial and show me how to use this knowledge to help others.
- Lord, do not let me forget that I am Your child and that You love me.
- Lord, I submit to Your discipline for my growth. Transform me and my life Lord. Make me holy for You are holy.
- Lord, even though I feel emotional pain right now, I know that Your discipline will lead to and yield the fruit of peace and righteousness.
- Lord, I submit and surrender to Your training.
- Lord, strengthen my tired hands and my weakened knees. I want my life to reflect Your glory and to show how You grow and transform me.
After working through this issue using the tools we have at our fingertips, I felt healed from my negative feelings. I shared with my friend and accountability partner Deanna Lewis that I felt like I had been washed on an old fashioned wash board, put through a wringer and now I have been hung up on a wash line to hang in the healing light of the SON! It was hard. It was difficult. But it was so worth it!
If you are dealing with negative feelings and emotions that make you want to break your eating boundaries, may I introduce you to Freedom from Emotional Eating by Barb Raveling? There is more work for me to do and I am happy to announce that Deanna Lewis and I will be offering a group study of this book starting in mid-September that will end by the end of November.
This class is for people who already have the basics of Thin Within down and are ready for the next level.
We will not be discussing weight, diets or any jargon regarding good or bad food choices. This way, we can be free to not be tempted to return to diet mentality while God is healing us from emotional eating.
Look for more information on the TW website soon.
by Deanna Burris | Jul 18, 2016 | Blog
Every day I have a choice about what kind of day I am going to have. I have sunny days, and I have what I call “Bad Cloud Days”. What does having a “Bad Cloud Day” mean to me and what can I do about them?
Those “Bad Cloud Days” come about when I let little disturbances or inconveniences “cloud” my thinking and cause me to feel bad and often makes me run to food for solace. Excess food doesn’t bring out the sun over my mood. When I am allowing outside circumstances control my mood and I run to food, then I have two problems instead of one.
There are things I can do to turn my day around. I can choose to write about what is bothering me (truth journaling). I can renew my mind in God’s Word (Romans 12:1). I can pray (Philippians 4:6-7). I can read over my truth cards (Philippians 4:8). I can pick up the phone and call or text a friend (or accountability partner). All these choices are great ways to put things into perspective. These simple choices help me to seek out the truth (John 8:32) behind the annoyance instead of lashing out, which then destroys any peace I might hope to have (Romans 15:13).
I can choose to allow those dark thoughts or feelings to build up and cause a storm cloud to cover my day, or I can clear away the dark clouds by writing, digging in God’s Word, talking it over with God in prayer, read uplifting notes, or phone a friend. I can choose to turn off the TV (the news today could put a cloud over anyone’s mood), put on some praise music and dance to the truth that today, I woke up and got out of bed. I can praise Him that this is the day that He has made. I can rejoice and be glad in it. As the sun (Son) starts shining over my heart, I can reach out and bring sunshine into someone else’s “Bad Cloud Day”.
How about you? Are you having too many “Bad Cloud Days”? A great question to ask: Is this going to matter in a week, a month, six months? One thing I know for sure…God will make a way when there seems to be no way (1 Corinthians 10:13).
by Deanna Burris | Jun 27, 2016 | Blog
Have you ever been on a detour? You are on your way from point A to point B and you find yourself crossing X, Y, and Z?
I went on a detour recently with my weight loss journey. It is so easy to be swayed off the straight, tried and true path, and I was swayed. Luckily, my loving Abba Father led me back to the path He wants me on and opened my eyes to watch out for any detour signs ahead.
I was feeling worn out, tired and was not sleeping well. A friend had been suggesting a line of supplements that promised better health, energy, better sleep and a decrease in appetite (which leads to weight loss). I am a cheerleader for staying healthy using any natural ways possible, so I jumped on board. I signed up and started the “line”. Even though I wasn’t taking them for weight loss, I know that in the back of my mind I was hoping for some weight release. Actually, I was hoping for big things.
During this time, my mind kept wandering away from Thin Within/Hunger Within. I looked at the success stories and started reading the recommendations about how to eat, what to eat and when to eat. My friend even told me I needed to eat first thing in the morning, whether I was hungry or not, because I needed to get my engine running. And, my mind kept wondering to diets and what I should be doing to move things along.
Then something happened. I realized that I actually felt worse on these supplements. My stomach was getting upset and I was sleeping worse. I was confused because what I had been expecting wasn’t happening. Where was my success story? I prayed and took the mess to the Lord, and do you know what He laid on my heart? He said, “I am here. I have been here all along. My plan works. My plan is what is best for you. Have you come to Me?”
So, here is some honesty. I have recently been haphazardly following our 0 to 5 eating boundaries. When I decide I am going to eat outside of them, I do it. I hadn’t been renewing my mind in God’s Word when I felt tempted to break my boundaries or after I had broken them. I hadn’t been using the other Keys to Conscious eating as they are laid out. My accountability partner and I realized recently that we were treating our Thin Within/Hunger Within programs as another diet. To me, a diet is something you go on and off at a whim. I have never really been on a diet that I have truly seen as “lifelong”.
But, God’s plan is a lifelong plan. His plan honors the way He created my body to eat. When I listen to the cues my body naturally gives, I eat with joy between hunger and satisfaction. When I follow these boundaries, I don’t mindlessly eat at night (which causes sleep disruption that leads to feeling worn out and tired). When I follow my body’s cues, I crave whole body pleasers instead of taste bud teasers (and those total rejects).
My short detour only lasted a month. I am back on the path of Thin Within/Hunger Within. My eyes are no longer on the bright sparkling promises of another program. For today, I am committing to the plan God has for me, and when I am tempted or when I fall, I am using the tools that are right there for me. I am embracing the detour I took as a learning experience, and one I needed to take in order to bring me right back where God wants me.
What about you, dear reader? Have you taken a detour? Turn to God, and reach out for help. You will get back on the right path.
by Deanna Lewis | May 27, 2016 | Accountability, Blog, Inspiration, Renew Mind
My Dirty Little Secret (part 2)
Last week I shared with you my “dirty little secret”, about how I wanted to give up and was so discouraged because my body was not releasing weight. I have been so frustrated because I *felt* like I have been eating between hunger and fullness! Why, oh why have I not been releasing weight but seem to be going in the wrong direction? I was even tempted to go back to a diet!
The thought of going back to a diet is like asking me to go back to prison!
I just can’t do that!
So, As I usually do, I cried out to the Lord to show me what HE wants me to do with all of this. I have been praying and seeking HIM.
The next day, I wanted to share what God revealed to me with my good friend and accountability partner, Deanna Burris (who is another author for this blog). We feel comfortable enough to be honest with each other and so I had already shared my frustrations with her.
And now, I want to share it with you:
Good Morning, Dear Friend.
I think God has whispered something to me today. I have been wondering (more than praying….) about what to do regarding my weight gain. I have been thinking about diet pills, trying “healthy eating”, reading another intuitive eating book ….just whatever.
Do I REALLY want to go back to the diet lies???
Also, God has shown me that I’ve been lying to myself….
He has shown me the TRUTH
This morning the Lord ever so gently showed me that although I think I’m eating 0-5, I am not eating mindfully. I am distracted most of the time and honestly, with letting go of some of my co-dependent behavior, feeling full (probably an 8) brings me emotional comfort.
So lately I say I have been eating in my boundaries, but when examining and getting real with myself, I have not. And I think there probably have been many more times that I have had the blinders on about this.
BUT HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS!
Instead of guilt, I am feeling HOPE!
There is hope because it’s NOT Thin Within that’s “not working” but I’ve not been honest with myself. Also, I am not beating myself up about my body or how I’ve been coping with things.
I am going g to prayerfully seek the Lord in this now that He’s shown me some things.
- I admit to feeling a little rebellious in that I don’t want to stop eating over the counter or while watching TV. (The Lord gently showed me that I now rarely eat without doing these things).
- I’ve gone back to eating out of large bags of food instead of serving myself a small portion.
When I look back on the last year, I see that I only have rare days when I stay within these secondary boundaries, thinking I can just listen to my stomach. But what happens is THIS:
Because I’m distracted, I’m not really listening.
I’m just stopping when I feel like it and have eaten more than I really needed (I think a 6 or 7 has become my new 5). No condemnation here, just being honest with myself.
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ACTION PLAN
- I am going to give my body grace with its shape since I am in menopause.
- I have gone thru loads of BIG stresses (and am doing some hard and deep work with in
myself with the LORD…some huge layers of grave clothes God is working on and has been for a while…). So there is GRACE there, too in regards to how my body has been reacting.
- I am going to be on my face before the Lord for direction on what secondary boundaries HE wants for me so that my primary boundaries (0-5) can be kept on a regular basis.
- I am opening my hands that have been grasping food for comfort etc. and grabbing on to JESUS, HIS PLAN for me and HIS FREEDOM.
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Most of all……I am surrendering to HIM.
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ALL TO JESUS,
I SURRENDER
I SURRENDER ALL.
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What about you? When you examine yourself, do you find there are things you need to surrender to the Lord? Are you being honest with yourself? Are there boundaries you might have let “slip”. If this is so, TAKE HEART and have HOPE for HE has given us the tools we need in Thin Within and Hunger Within. Let’s use these tools that have been given to us!
