What do each of these statements, said in an attempt to justify eating outside of my boundaries, have in common?
They are all lies.
Most of the time we violate our boundaries, it starts in the seed of a lie. We may call it “justifying,” but it is, simply, lying to ourselves.
Since this study is about being transformed by the renewing of our minds, since we have been evaluating the lies that we believe and rejecting these lies and replacing them with truth, one of the best places to look is the tiny little “mistruths” we tell ourselves that erode our resolve to live according to our boundaries.
I have asked everyone participating in this study (and even those of you not in this study may want to do this) to evaluate: Are you convinced that God is calling you to the primary boundary of eating within the parameter of physical hunger and satisfaction? 0 and 5?
Many of us, in a moment of clarity, were convinced that God was calling us to this. We don’t want to lose sight of that. Anything we tell ourselves that minimizes that conviction should be scrutinized. Here is a video about this:
This week’s assignment:
1.) How about settling this question in your mind: Are you convinced that God is calling you to 0 to 5 eating or eating within the parameter of physical hunger and satisfaction? If you are convinced that this is GOD’s call to you, jot it down in your journal: “I know God is calling me to eat within 0 and 5” or other statement that reflects your conviction. Date it. If you did this last week, go to the place in your journal where you wrote it down and write today’s date with an affirmation that you are recommitting to 0 and 5. This is important. If we aren’t convinced that this boundary is what GOD is calling us to, then we will rationalize and justify a million reasons not to live according to it!
In a moment of clarity, when we aren’t tempted, we prayerfully welcome God to convict our hearts about the boundaries HE has for us. Whatever these may be, we want to establish a way of remembering this moment. It is important and will serve as a guiding principle for our lives!
2.) Evaluate your secondary boundaries that you established last week. If you are doing just fine with those, you may want to ask God to show you another boundary to add or to trade out or modify. Remember, secondary boundaries support you in maintaining your ability to abide by your primary boundary of 0 and 5. Jot down in your journal what your new (or revised) secondary boundaries will be.
3.) Go to Barb Raveling’s website and read and complete the study she has on Justification Eating found here by jotting the answers down in your journal. As when we did this study last spring, it will be helpful for us to remember that Barb isn’t a Thin Within participant. Please don’t be thrown off by her reference to “calories.” Keep focused on what God has led you to do and invite him to show you the benefit you can glean from her material! It is great stuff! We just have to skip over some dieting jargon from time to time.
4.) List in your journal 5-10 “small lies” you tell (or have told) yourself to justify eating outside of your primary boundary of 0 and 5.
5.) Beneath each lie you have exposed, write down the TRUTH in that situation. If you find this helpful, continue the process, stopping every 5 to 10 of these to be sure to write the corresponding TRUTH down for each.
6.) Journal: If you start telling yourself the truth about your eating, will it affect how diligently you follow your primary and secondary boundaries? Are you willing to do this today? If not, why not?
7.) What food or eating experience are you most likely to justify going outside of your primary boundary (of eating 0 to 5) in order to experience?
For example: I love to go out to almost any restaurant for Mexican food. I know that when I sit down to the meal, I will eat enough chips and salsa to no longer be hungry, yet I still want to eat some of the meal when it arrives. I tend to tell myself “I am still hungry” when the meal comes to justify eating as much as I would have if I hadn’t eaten any chips to start with!
7.) Strategize what you can do about this situation.
For example: I will ask the server to bring the chips with the meal and consider it part of my portion.
Or:
When the chips arrive, I will takego to the restroom and take a time out. This will cut into the amount of time that I will have eating chips and salsa before the meal arrives. I will use the time in the restroom to review my truth cards (if I have them with me) or to remember what is true about my boundaries and the joy I have when I live according to them. When I get back to the table, I will slow my eating of chips or intentionally have only 5 or 10 chips with salsa. I will remind myself of the truth that I rejoice in living within my God-given boundaries.
8.) List things that are true whenever you have broken your 0 to 5 eating boundaries. How do you feel when you break your 0 to 5 boundaries? What does it do for you? List what is true about breaking your 0 and 5 boundaries so that when you are considering breaking your boundaries with your justification, you can look at your list of how you feel *after* you have broken your boundaries and remember! You might want to add this list to your TRUTH cards. “When I eat outside of my boundaries, I _____________”
For example: After I have broken my 0 to 5 eating boundaries, I am filled with regret. After I have broken my 0 to 5 eating boundaries, I worry that I won’t stop. The joy of eating outside of my boundaries is momentary compared to the time spent frustrated with myself.
How is justification eating telling yourself a lie? What truths can you tell yourself when you are faced with a moment of decision about whether or not to give in to the temptation to eat outside of your boundaries?
Note: If you are just joining us, you can go to this pageand see what we have done so far. Come on along!
10.) As a final part of the assignment, consider posting here some of the things that God showed you about the lies you tell yourself and the truth to counter those lies…OR anything else that you may want to share with others. If you have a question feel free to post it here as well! 🙂
My commitment here at God is Doing a New Thing is to provide as many means of supporting you on your Thin Within journey as possible. Right now, here are some of the opportunities available to you:
Daily blog posts. You can “Follow This Blog” and get a notification when new content has posted.
Community interaction. Here at the God is Doing A New Thing website, people are interacting with one another in the comments section. Engage in a dialog. Share what works for you. Ask a question and experience encouragement and help from others on this journey!
Accountability partnerships. Have you gotten an accountability partner yet for your journey? This page offers a place to post if you are interested in finding a buddy to connect with for mutual encouragement.
Newsletters sent out every-so-often (probably not more than once a month). Subscribe here. When you do, you get a link to an audio file that tells you what turned the corner for me in my own Thin Within journey.
Studies together! We have just started a bible study to support Thin Within participants in renewing their minds. Visit this page to see what we have done so far and to get started with us!
There are weekly online classes to teach more content regarding the topic for the week during our summer study. Each can stand alone.
YouTube Channel with all kinds of Thin Within and God is Doing A New Thing videos.
We are creating a Thin Within / God Is Doing A New Thing app for your iPod, iPhone, and iPad! I am so excited about that! Development is slow going, but it is happening!
Coaching opportunities one-on-one. You can accomplish your goals. Maybe you just need a little more support. Consider the coaching option. I currently have spots that have just come open.
There are so many resources here for you! I hope that if you don’t find what you think you need here, you will ask.
NOW is the time for you to experience the ongoing victory that you know Christ has purchased for you! You can do this in the strength he provides!
What will you begin to do that you, perhaps, haven’t done before to turbo-charge, hyper-boost your Thin Within journey? 🙂
As a child growing up, I wasn’t safe. I feared and experienced abandonment frequently. Life was devoid of the safety and protection of reliable authority figures.
Any surprise that I struggle with God as a wonderful, reliable, safe and strong authority figure today?
But I am growing in this–even now! As I sit in his presence and experience his love, tenderness, compassion, strength, and beauty, I am able finally to experience what it is to be a child–His child.
This video is of a great Jason Gray song…I just have to share it with you for your renewing of the mind playlists (editing this post after it has posted because I don’t want it just stuck in the comments!):
Here is a sound file that explains what I hope ALL of us (even those not involved in the bible study) will do! (Email subscribers need to visit the blog site to access the sound file):
1.) Establish our primary and secondary boundaries.
Mine are:
Primary Boundary – Eat 0 to 5
Secondary Boundaries – 1.) Eat only when sitting down (sitting in the car doesn’t count! :-)) 2.) Eat only when my mind and body are relaxed
2.) Establish our plan for renewing our minds.
Mine looks like this and I will send a report to my accountability partner each day about these things as well:
Renew my mind with my Eating Truth Cards each morning.
Listen to my Truth Play List at least once during the day.
Review/Scan or re-read highlights in my cards between 4 and 6pm each day.
You can do this, too.
What is your primary boundary? This one’s easy–If you are a Thin Within participant, you will want to have this one be “To eat 0 to 5” or something like that.
What will your two secondary boundaries be this week?Remember that secondary boundaries support your ability to live within your primary boundary. Any of the Keys to Conscious Eating can work. “To have the TV off when eating,” or something like that can work, too!
What will your plan be to renew your mind? Remember, renewing the mind is something we are doing so we can think differently–specifically, so we can think God’s thoughts about something, in this case, 0 to 5 eating, or our bodies, or food generally…or something like that! I have made my truth cards specifically about eating 0 to 5 since that is my primary boundary. More on that in our online class. We talked about ways of renewing our minds agin the online class for this week. Here is that video:
Without the boundary of this fence, Daisy, my golden retriever, would (no doubt) get even CLOSER to this buck than you see in this image. From her perspective, I have little doubt that the fence “stands in the way” of much fun! The truth is, the fence–a boundary–keeps harm out (deer can be deadly) and keeps what is worth protecting safe within–safe from straying.
This week, you will develop your plan including having a good look at your own boundaries relative to your Thin Within journey. We will use a lot of Barb’s material to help with this. Before you go on over to her site, though, I want to lay some ground work.
Please watch this short (4 minute) video first:
To register for this week’s class Wednesday at 3:00pm Pacific Time (OR the digital recording), please visit this link: http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E956D880834D3A NOTE: When you select a password, please do NOT forget it! It will be necessary for you to access the class AND the digital recording after the class is over!
Take a moment to jot down in your journal (or think about) what you think is true about boundaries. Do you believe that they are there to protect you? To keep OUT influences that could damage you? To keep you IN, from wandering off on a path that would be destructive for you?
Or are you more likely to consider boundaries with resentment–as something that denies you something as if “God is holding out” on you?
Ask God to show you the truth about boundaries. Jot down what he impresses upon you. You might want to put them in your index cards if you are using them: “What is true about boundaries in my life.”
IMPORTANT: When I reference you to a page at Barb’s site, please know that there is a TON of incredible material there. For the purposes of our study, though, I will include the links here each week for any of the pages that are “vital” to our study this summer. The other links, you are welcome, of course, to explore. But please know that with so much wonderful material at her site, you can spend HOURS on it! ALL of it is good. Do what you feel God leading you to do of course, but any page that I think is foundational to our study here this summer, I will include as you will see below. For this week’s assignment, please be sure to do any of the linked pages that I include.
This has several parts to it, so please spread it out over the week:
1.) In her post under THE PLAN, Barb links you to her post about boundaries. You can read that or not, but most of the information that you need is likely to be in the video above. So if you are short on time, you don’t need to read it.
2.) She also includes a link to a post on secondary boundaries. Unless what I have shared in the video is “murky,” you probably don’t need to read that post either. If you are short on time, I think you will be ok without reading that, though it is definitely helpful! For our purposes, if you are uncertain about what might help you to maintain your primary boundary of 0 to 5 eating, you can use the Keys to Conscious Eating. Keys 1 and 8 are the primary boundary. Keys 2 – 7 are ideas for secondary boundaries. If you are using a set of spiral bound index cards or using a binder ring with index cards (whatever your method), then you might want to write down on a card “MY PRIMARY BOUNDARY: _________________.” And on another card “MY SECONDARY BOUNDARIES: ____________________” I don’t recommend more than 2 or 3 secondary boundaries and you can add new ones or change them as you go.
3.) Barb also has a link to Renewing the Mind Goal. THIS ONE, IS IMPORTANT TO OUR STUDY this summer. In fact, it is foundational to our summer study. So please DO read it and do the activities. (Yes, I just included the link to the same page THREE times. I don’t want you to miss it, that this is important.) There are lots of great links even in the post on the renewing of the mind goal. Again, the links to other posts are helpful, but not vital, so if you are short on time, don’t do them. If you are using a set of index cards that are hole-punched or spiral bound, then write your Renewing of the Mind Goal down on your cards. If you aren’t using the cards, that is ok. But I suggest you jot it down somewhere. NOTE: In our online class last week, we had the pleasure of having Barb Raveling in attendance (you can still get the recording of the class if you want). I realized as she shared that my way of thinking about the renewing of the mind goal was different than what she speaks of in her blog. Maybe *both* can work. My way of thinking of it has been to pick something that you know you need to think differently about, like, for instance, “I need to think differently about having sweet foods after lunch and dinner.” What I want to think instead about desserts is that “I can live without desserts.” Another one might be, “It takes less food than I think to satisfy me.” So my goal is to change my thinking about dessert or about portions. Barb’s use of it is helpful in being quantifiable…”I will renew my mind twice each day about dessert/portion size.” You can use a combination of both ways of thinking if you like or just use Barb’s mentioned in her post!
4.) Under her heading THE CHALLENGE, you can have a look at her post about 8 Questions to Ask When You Don’t Want to Renew Your Mind. This isn’t required, but it can be EXTREMELY helpful. (I have not included the link because I will include the link to the pages directly only if they are foundational to our study.) I have written these 8 questions down in my card set as I think they are so good.
5.) Do her ASSIGNMENT in her Day One post, including her #2 item: Working With God on Your Goal.This was originally intended, I think, for New Years, but it is helpful to our summer study. All of this work right now is to lay the foundation for our summer study. Doing this work will be very helpful. Future assignments (starting next week) won’t be as lengthy (I think!).
6.) Continuing on her Day One study, you will want to complete the Following Your Boundaries Questions questions. PLEASE don’t skip this set of questions as, again, this is foundational to the rest of the summer. In fact, you might want to keep these questions handy. Any time you find yourself not wanting to adhere to your 0 to 5 boundaries and your secondary boundaries, pulling out these questions can help you get focused again, willing again!
7.) I would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS below about any of the following:
What is your Renewing of the Mind Goal?
What secondary boundaries have you selected that will support your primary boundary of eating 0 to 5?
Which of her renewing of the mind tools will be helpful to you?
8.) If you would like, attend the class this Wednesday at 3pm-4pm Pacific time to discuss this material. The class costs $5. If you can’t attend, but want the digital recording of the class, the cost is the same. Both those who want to attend the class live and those who want the recording only, will need to register at http://www.anymeeting.com/AccountManager/RegEv.aspx?PIID=E956D880834D3A
