As a child growing up, I wasn’t safe. I feared and experienced abandonment frequently. Life was devoid of the safety and protection of reliable authority figures.
Any surprise that I struggle with God as a wonderful, reliable, safe and strong authority figure today?
But I am growing in this–even now! As I sit in his presence and experience his love, tenderness, compassion, strength, and beauty, I am able finally to experience what it is to be a child–His child.
This video is of a great Jason Gray song…I just have to share it with you for your renewing of the mind playlists (editing this post after it has posted because I don’t want it just stuck in the comments!):
Here is a sound file that explains what I hope ALL of us (even those not involved in the bible study) will do! (Email subscribers need to visit the blog site to access the sound file):
1.) Establish our primary and secondary boundaries.
Mine are:
Primary Boundary – Eat 0 to 5
Secondary Boundaries – 1.) Eat only when sitting down (sitting in the car doesn’t count! :-)) 2.) Eat only when my mind and body are relaxed
2.) Establish our plan for renewing our minds.
Mine looks like this and I will send a report to my accountability partner each day about these things as well:
Renew my mind with my Eating Truth Cards each morning.
Listen to my Truth Play List at least once during the day.
Review/Scan or re-read highlights in my cards between 4 and 6pm each day.
You can do this, too.
What is your primary boundary? This one’s easy–If you are a Thin Within participant, you will want to have this one be “To eat 0 to 5” or something like that.
What will your two secondary boundaries be this week?Remember that secondary boundaries support your ability to live within your primary boundary. Any of the Keys to Conscious Eating can work. “To have the TV off when eating,” or something like that can work, too!
What will your plan be to renew your mind? Remember, renewing the mind is something we are doing so we can think differently–specifically, so we can think God’s thoughts about something, in this case, 0 to 5 eating, or our bodies, or food generally…or something like that! I have made my truth cards specifically about eating 0 to 5 since that is my primary boundary. More on that in our online class. We talked about ways of renewing our minds agin the online class for this week. Here is that video:
Without the boundary of this fence, Daisy, my golden retriever, would (no doubt) get even CLOSER to this buck than you see in this image. From her perspective, I have little doubt that the fence “stands in the way” of much fun! The truth is, the fence–a boundary–keeps harm out (deer can be deadly) and keeps what is worth protecting safe within–safe from straying.
This week, you will develop your plan including having a good look at your own boundaries relative to your Thin Within journey. We will use a lot of Barb’s material to help with this. Before you go on over to her site, though, I want to lay some ground work.
Please watch this short (4 minute) video first:
To register for this week’s class Wednesday at 3:00pm Pacific Time (OR the digital recording), please visit this link: http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E956D880834D3A NOTE: When you select a password, please do NOT forget it! It will be necessary for you to access the class AND the digital recording after the class is over!
Take a moment to jot down in your journal (or think about) what you think is true about boundaries. Do you believe that they are there to protect you? To keep OUT influences that could damage you? To keep you IN, from wandering off on a path that would be destructive for you?
Or are you more likely to consider boundaries with resentment–as something that denies you something as if “God is holding out” on you?
Ask God to show you the truth about boundaries. Jot down what he impresses upon you. You might want to put them in your index cards if you are using them: “What is true about boundaries in my life.”
IMPORTANT: When I reference you to a page at Barb’s site, please know that there is a TON of incredible material there. For the purposes of our study, though, I will include the links here each week for any of the pages that are “vital” to our study this summer. The other links, you are welcome, of course, to explore. But please know that with so much wonderful material at her site, you can spend HOURS on it! ALL of it is good. Do what you feel God leading you to do of course, but any page that I think is foundational to our study here this summer, I will include as you will see below. For this week’s assignment, please be sure to do any of the linked pages that I include.
This has several parts to it, so please spread it out over the week:
1.) In her post under THE PLAN, Barb links you to her post about boundaries. You can read that or not, but most of the information that you need is likely to be in the video above. So if you are short on time, you don’t need to read it.
2.) She also includes a link to a post on secondary boundaries. Unless what I have shared in the video is “murky,” you probably don’t need to read that post either. If you are short on time, I think you will be ok without reading that, though it is definitely helpful! For our purposes, if you are uncertain about what might help you to maintain your primary boundary of 0 to 5 eating, you can use the Keys to Conscious Eating. Keys 1 and 8 are the primary boundary. Keys 2 – 7 are ideas for secondary boundaries. If you are using a set of spiral bound index cards or using a binder ring with index cards (whatever your method), then you might want to write down on a card “MY PRIMARY BOUNDARY: _________________.” And on another card “MY SECONDARY BOUNDARIES: ____________________” I don’t recommend more than 2 or 3 secondary boundaries and you can add new ones or change them as you go.
3.) Barb also has a link to Renewing the Mind Goal. THIS ONE, IS IMPORTANT TO OUR STUDY this summer. In fact, it is foundational to our summer study. So please DO read it and do the activities. (Yes, I just included the link to the same page THREE times. I don’t want you to miss it, that this is important.) There are lots of great links even in the post on the renewing of the mind goal. Again, the links to other posts are helpful, but not vital, so if you are short on time, don’t do them. If you are using a set of index cards that are hole-punched or spiral bound, then write your Renewing of the Mind Goal down on your cards. If you aren’t using the cards, that is ok. But I suggest you jot it down somewhere. NOTE: In our online class last week, we had the pleasure of having Barb Raveling in attendance (you can still get the recording of the class if you want). I realized as she shared that my way of thinking about the renewing of the mind goal was different than what she speaks of in her blog. Maybe *both* can work. My way of thinking of it has been to pick something that you know you need to think differently about, like, for instance, “I need to think differently about having sweet foods after lunch and dinner.” What I want to think instead about desserts is that “I can live without desserts.” Another one might be, “It takes less food than I think to satisfy me.” So my goal is to change my thinking about dessert or about portions. Barb’s use of it is helpful in being quantifiable…”I will renew my mind twice each day about dessert/portion size.” You can use a combination of both ways of thinking if you like or just use Barb’s mentioned in her post!
4.) Under her heading THE CHALLENGE, you can have a look at her post about 8 Questions to Ask When You Don’t Want to Renew Your Mind. This isn’t required, but it can be EXTREMELY helpful. (I have not included the link because I will include the link to the pages directly only if they are foundational to our study.) I have written these 8 questions down in my card set as I think they are so good.
5.) Do her ASSIGNMENT in her Day One post, including her #2 item: Working With God on Your Goal.This was originally intended, I think, for New Years, but it is helpful to our summer study. All of this work right now is to lay the foundation for our summer study. Doing this work will be very helpful. Future assignments (starting next week) won’t be as lengthy (I think!).
6.) Continuing on her Day One study, you will want to complete the Following Your Boundaries Questions questions. PLEASE don’t skip this set of questions as, again, this is foundational to the rest of the summer. In fact, you might want to keep these questions handy. Any time you find yourself not wanting to adhere to your 0 to 5 boundaries and your secondary boundaries, pulling out these questions can help you get focused again, willing again!
7.) I would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS below about any of the following:
What is your Renewing of the Mind Goal?
What secondary boundaries have you selected that will support your primary boundary of eating 0 to 5?
Which of her renewing of the mind tools will be helpful to you?
8.) If you would like, attend the class this Wednesday at 3pm-4pm Pacific time to discuss this material. The class costs $5. If you can’t attend, but want the digital recording of the class, the cost is the same. Both those who want to attend the class live and those who want the recording only, will need to register at http://www.anymeeting.com/AccountManager/RegEv.aspx?PIID=E956D880834D3A
By now, you know that I just love the truth spoken in the words of Mandisa’s songs, so I share this one with you for your “Renewing of the Mind” playlist. In fact, on my playlist I have included these songs and a recording of myself speaking all of my index card material out loud. Talk about POWER PACKED! Great stuff there!
If you like this song, and I am sure you will, support Mandisa and her producers–purchase the album! 🙂
The Truth About Me – Songwriters: Ronnie C Freeman, Simon Hawkins, Kerrie Roberts, Tony Wood
If only I could see me as You see me
And understand the way that I am loved
Would it give a whole new meaning to my purpose?
Change the way I see the world
Would I sparkle like a star in the night sky?
Would I give a little more instead of take?
If I understood I’m precious like a diamond
Of a worth no one could estimate
I’m a worth no one could estimate
You say lovely, I say broken
I say guilty, You say forgiven
I feel lonely, You say You’re with me
We both know it would change everything
If only I believed the truth about me
I wish I could hold on to the moments
When my life is spinning but I’m peaceful still
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net .]
Like a wind You whisper into silence
And tell me things this world never will
You tell me things this world never will
You say lovely, I say broken
I say guilty, You say forgiven
Oh, I feel lonely, You say You’re with me
We both know it would change everything
If only I believed the truth about me
I would sleep better at night
Wake up with hope for another day
I would love even if it cost me
Take a chance and know I’m gonna be okay
I would dare to give my life away
Oh, I feel lonely, You say You’re with me
We both know it would change everything
If only I believed, if only I believed the truth about me
But before you read on, please know that WE ALL ARE DIFFERENT. My body has different requirements than yours. In fact, now, a long time after this was posted initially, my body might respond differently than what I share here. Our bodies are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made!
The reason I share this is because many of us think our bodies need a lot more food than they really might need. So just prayerfully consider this, ok? 🙂 You might want to evaluate if the amounts of food you think you need is based on truth or not. If not, then renew your mind about that! 🙂
—
Hubby has been observing my eating and releasing of weight for over a year. He mentioned last night that had he not seen it, he never would have imagined that someone could survive on so little food. But he sees me doing precisely that. He suggested I take before and after pictures…but of FOOD portions!
So for fun :-), I am chronicling that today–what I am eating and what I would have prepared for myself in the past to show the differences. He is helping me to serve up the “before” servings so I don’t fail to include as MUCH as I used to eat. This is what we have so far:
In October of 2006, I would have easily chowed down what we have in the photo above–three donuts and at least one tall glass of 2% milk (if not two glasses!).
There is nothing at all wrong with donuts. Donuts are good, they are our friend :-), but I would have eaten THREE easily and been stuffed to the gills…and not given a flying fig! It takes a lot of food to sustain 250 pounds. So, this would have been the ticket to start the day.
This morning, what I actually served myself is seen in this photo above. I love love love winter wheat bread, slathered in peanut butter, sprinkled generously with granola complete with almonds in it. This is chased with a small half mug of milk. YUM! This is a whole body pleaser for me. I find that if I start the day with a donut now, I crash and burn quickly. I *can* do that if I want, but I don’t feel it is the best thing. “Permissible” yes, but not beneficial. In fact, sometimes I have a donut for “second breakfast” but that is another story! I didn’t eat for the first time until 9am this morning…which would typically be about the time I get to a 0 for “second breakfast!”
LOL! So…when I was all done eating breakfast, the photo above shows what was left after I ate.
Presto! I went from 0–totally empty, to a “I am not hungry any more” and I call that a 5 or satisfied. I used to have a really hard time “finding” 5…I discovered that it was a place I would fudge quite a bit…to see how much I could *stuff* in before going too far. Now I generally stop where I am comfortable…and that is marked by not being hungry any more. It makes it much simpler.
My husband pointed out that the amount of food it takes to sustain a healthy person really is not much at all. The problem is we WANT to eat more! We WANT to be able to justify it! But our bodies are SO efficient!
This isn’t about anorexia either. If I get hungry, I am delighted to go eat whatever I desire. My goal, however, is to stop when I am not hungry any more or move around rigorously (cantering on one of my horses?) without having that erppy, burppy feeling that comes from jostling a stomach that is too full. Does that make sense? 🙂
So lunch in the past would have been at least what is pictured above. This is four pieces of pizza on a dinner plate with a couple of tablespoons of real butter for spreading on the crusts. Each and every bit of food would be gone…and probably a bit more than this. I would have gone back for more! Again, this is what I served myself in the PAST. I would probably read while I ate it, too, and not even “register” in my mind that I was eating. I wouldn’t enjoy my food. I would inhale it instead. I would probably have “dessert” afterwards. After all, eating lunch and dinner always were followed by something sweet–often a heaping bowl of ice cream. Nothing wrong with pizza, donuts, ice cream. But that was a LOT of food!
Above is what I actually served myself today when I was at a 0 at noon. Two pieces of pizza and about one tablespoon of butter (yes, the real thing) on a salad plate. I prefer to serve myself food on a salad plate.
One other note about this pizza. In the past, we would have gotten a Papa Murphy’s pizza. I don’t know about you all, but I have noticed how grease pools on it–a LOT. It even grosses my kids out! (You know there is a problem when your child starts blotting grease off the pizza and you never taught her to do that!) So, we use Boboli pizza crusts and each person gets what they want on their pizza and the amount of cheese they want. I feel a lot better about that choice for a pizza than about the oozing goozing liquid orange grease all over the plate kind. Nothing wrong with that, per say. This is a choice we make.
My son pointed out that the Papa Murphy’s pizzas are so much bigger, too. I had forgotten about that. So, anyhow, while this may not be on anyone’s “wholesome food” list, it is definitely a step upwards from Papa Murphy’s or Round Table. My family even agrees!
Above shows what was left of my lunch today after I was through. As you can see, I didn’t eat all that I served myself. There is almost one full piece of the two I served myself left. (Bits from both pieces as I had to have the crust…my favorite part. Gosh! I even left some of the butter! LOL!)
I have a policy of leaving some food on my plate no matter how little I serve myself. It keeps me from a sense of entitlement eating at other times and it diminishes the likelihood of greed. Besides that, the dogs like the results of Mom eating this way!
In fact, I recently put my dogs on a “diet” so they could still enjoy the table scraps they get. I figure dog food meal after meal can’t give them all the nutrients they need. It has to be far better for them to get a bit of cheese, bread, granola and peanut butter on occasion, ya think? They agree!!!
So, I hope this little food log of sorts helps show some of the differences that I have made in my eating.
What do you think…are there changes to your portions that you might be able to make? Do you need to renew your mind about how much food you think it takes to satisfy your body? What IF you were to give yourself less food? What IF you were to leave some of it on your plate each time? What do you think?
