Actually, a better title might be: “No Man… but I have a Plan!”
During my second month of pregnancy, when I may have been feeling my worst, my husband announced he would be going to London on a two-week business trip. I was very concerned about being left alone with the two kids, work, housework, and in my first trimester of pregnancy. But most of all, I was concerned about being left to my own devices in the evenings… all alone…
Historically I would have used the evening times alone to “indulge” in over-eating, and late-night movie watching. But I know that inevitably, I wake up the next morning regretting staying up so late and regretting what I ate! So, I decided to use it as a re-framing opportunity. I wanted to think of an evening alone in a whole new light. I knew from experience that would take planning, accountability and a new way of thinking.
I started out with a favorite prayer pneumonic from John Piper. It’s “APTAT”:
A – Admit that you can do nothing on your own.
P – Pray for help
T – Trust a Promise
A – Act in response
T – Thank him for helping you.
In the past, this little reminder has helped me calm my anxiety and refocus on God and his ability to influence me and my circumstances. So that’s what I prayed. And then I made a plan.
Truth Cards
My attitude about this whole situation was not great. I felt panicky and like I was being left out of the fun. So I wrote some truths about what this time really was about—or some of the potential benefits of this short season. Truths like,
“Thank you God for this more relaxed week to make memories with my children.”
“Jesus is my Perfect Companion. He never gives up on me, grows weary, stops loving me, or walks away.”
“God, you know I am not perfect. But you have said I have your resurrection power in me. You said your Divine Power has given me everything I need for life and godliness today.”
I reviewed these in the mornings usually. A quick way to get my mind right for the day.
Evening Mind Renewal
One of my goals was to renew my mind every evening after dinner and before I started watching TV or having any snacks. This was an Accountability Point for me (see below) and was very helpful. In fact, I got a big surprise! I discovered new things about myself! I discovered I love to go out on the porch after dinner. Listening to the night sounds and looking up at the moon and stars gave me a wonderful calm and new perspective for the evening.
I came to look forward to that time to just “be” with my Heavenly Husband. We enjoyed such satisfying moments together that TV didn’t even interest me some nights (!) This time of mind renewal looked different on different nights. It might be praise time, reviewing my Truth Cards or using Barb Raveling’s I Deserve A Donut App or my own Bible study.
Extra Boundaries for TLC
I also tried to listen to what the wisdom of God’s Spirit was nudging me to do to protect myself during a particularly vulnerable time. I decided it was best not to buy or bake any sweets/desserts during that time, since those are particularly difficult for me to resist, especially when I’m alone. I also knew that the later I stayed up, the weaker I became. I was more likely to make choices I’d regret later. Plus, I need my rest—after all, I’m growing a baby! So my other boundary was to be in my bed at 9:30 on weeknights and by 11 on weekends.
Accountability
I knew that on my own, I’d be less likely to finish strong. I tend to thrive with that extra boost of encouragement. So, I called up my friend Molly. We met in one of the Thin Within online Facebook groups and really hit it off. We periodically text or call so I knew she’d be willing to help. She was so kind to touch base with me daily and encourage me that we were doing those two weeks together. Even when I had a disastrous day, it really helped me to Observe and Correct, when I had to reflect back and report in about what had happened and the choices I had made.
God was so gracious during the time my husband was away. He answered prayers and gave me extra energy, grace, and patience with the kids. He kept everyone safe and gave me strength to survive fever and floods! He is so Good.
So whether you have a challenging weekend coming up or a new life situation that has you baffled…I pray these ideas will prove useful to you. I have to remember: the main thing is the Main Thing—Jesus! He’s the one who empowers me to walk wisely in the way he instructs me to go. Keeping my eyes focused on the Author and Perfector of our faith is what makes life full and satisfying, regardless of my outward circumstances.
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Emily lives in South Korea with her husband and 2.1 children. She enjoys being the token American in her neighborhood and baking for the Korean neighbors. She is grateful for the chance to lead worship in their small “expat church”. Like most mothers, she’s also good at multitasking–like cooking and putting on bandaids, rubbing four feet while reading two books and driving while chewing gum and talking on FaceTime with family back home.
Thanks, Emily!
If you are a pregnant mom, won’t you post here and let us know? We would love to have a little support community right here on the blog for you all who are hoping to navigate the waters of your pregnancy (and after) while applying the Thin Within principles. Not only does Thin Within “work” during pregnancy to minimize weight gain, but many women LOVE the way they feel when they do this! EVEN when pregnant!
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
The picture above is of my beloved Great Pyrenees, Duke, and a litter of foster puppies who raided his personal food bowl one afternoon. Duke, as you can see, was patient despite their poor judgment. Weighing just eight ounces shy of 150 pounds, Duke is immensely strong. The Pyrenees breed was created to protect flocks by being strong enough to kill any predator, even a bear. The massive chest, the powerful jaws, the legs as thick as bricks all point to an alpha male that can take down any opponent. Which is why I love watching Duke with those little puppies. Those fluffballs regard Duke as a living playground. They climb and claw and bite. Duke lets them disturb his naps, steal from his food bowl, and run away with his toys. I’ve seen them nibble on his nose and his ears, and Duke will only sigh and occasionally groan at their misdeeds.
Their foolish youthful indiscretions should put their lives in great danger. After all, Duke was bred for massive strength. Yet it is precisely Duke’s strength that keeps the puppies safe. His massive power gives the puppies a lot of leeway in their behavior. His strength gives them freedom. He is so big, and so strong, that he is not threatened when they growl or jump or bite. They can hurt him, but they can’t wound him. He is patient with them, because he’s not just powerful; he’s kind.
Yet when I sit down to pray to my heavenly Father, as I contemplate His massive power, sometimes I get nervous. My chest feels tight. My jaw muscles tense, I shift my weight in my chair. My body tenses as if to run; how can an all-powerful God be completely good? How can I trust so much power? Isn’t power similar to anger?
No. It’s not. If we’ve seen too many Hollywood movies, or if we grew up in a dysfunctional home, we may have forgotten that power and anger are worlds apart. God is powerful, but He is good. He is kind. That’s hard for me to grasp, and I’m thankful that every prayer is a baby-step to understanding God’s big, beautiful heart of love. Each prayer is a little invitation to see great power demonstrated through love. Mighty strength displayed in kindness.
Scripture tells us that this is how He wants to answer our every prayer. Psalm 119 is one of many passages that tells us God answers our prayers according to His loving kindness. Let me say that again: He will answer you with love plus kindness. Whatever you pray for today, His answer will be love. Plus kindness. If you eat past 5, if you spend past your budget, if you’ve betrayed a friend or you’re struggling with shame and regrets, His answer to you is love. Plus kindness.
Sometimes when I pray, I like to write my prayers down as if I am writing a letter to a friend. I may describe a situation or problem then ask on paper, “What is the most loving thing that could happen here? What would be the kindest thing?” When I am confronted with an action I must take, I ask, “What would love do? How would kindness act?”
I pray for everything and about everything. I have only begun to understand and believe that Love and Kindness are always the answer. Every problem and every failure needs both, and God knows we are weak. He knows we often use poor judgment, and that what we desperately need is what He has already promised. He is ready and willing to love us, exactly as and where we are. His enormous power and strength are demonstrated in His love and kindness toward our weakness. We are free to approach Him with confidence, and even boldness, because He delights in revealing how His love and kindness can transform our worst moments into His greatest miracles.
What About You?
When you pray, what do you expect? Do you fear punishment or expect love? What does your expectation tell you about your beliefs?
Think of your greatest problem or battle today. What is the most loving thing you could do? What would a great kindness be?
Can obedience be a form of kindness to yourself? When you submit to God’s ways, do you experience a freedom and joy that seem closely related to kindness and love?
Yesterday, I was using a set of Barb Raveling’s questions to truth journal. I have challenged myself to do this exercise at least once a day and each session has been insightful and rewarding. At the end of yesterday’s session, I wrote down the words BELIEVE, TRUST, INVITE, SURRENDER. The Lord has been speaking these words to me lately and I knew that they were important in my journey with Him. I looked for a way to help me remember the words daily and then it struck me – BITES! (The Holy Spirit impressed upon me the word for “E” so that I could use this acronym).
Believe – The Lord gave me this word in prayer this month. He wants me to not only believe in Him, but to believe Him. I must believe that He is working in me and through me. I pray that I will believe Him and that He will help my unbelief. I pray to believe what He says about my true identity as His child.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. (1 Thessalonians 23-24).
Invite – I invite Him into all aspects of my life – He is invited to each meal, into this process that deals with eating, into my thoughts and really into all of my choices in my life. In my healing from the dieting mentality and the control of food and exercise, I have learned that much of this is a heart issue. Therefore, I invite Him to change my heart – to remove greed, envy and covetousness and to make it pure and wielded to His way.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and rightspirit within me (Psalm 51:10).
Trust – I trust Him, that in His goodness, mercy and faithfulness, He will set me on the right path. I trust that He uses all things, including our suffering and challenges, for good. He is Abba, the perfect Papa, and He is trustworthy. And, it becomes easier to trust Him as I get to know Him better. I accomplish this by reading His Word, praying, and renewing my mind with His Truth.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Exclaim – praise and truth. I cry out to the Lord – I name who He is, what His character traits are and what He does for His people. My “God list” and praise fests help me to do this.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.(Psalm 100)
I also exclaim His Truth in moments of doubt and temptation. He answers those who call on Him. He will provide a way out of temptation. And the Word of God is the sword in the battle against the enemy and the flesh (Ephesian 6:10-17).
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (1 Cor 10:13)
Surrender – For me, this really gets to the bottom of it all. Absolute surrender – in all ways and in all things – to the Lord is the path to a life of freedom and peace. If I believe that He created my body intentionally with its particular hunger signal and if I know that He has called me to eat within the boundaries of 0 and 5, I then desire to surrender my eating to Him. I need to submit to His authority on this and all things.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. (James 4:6-8)
So, I am now thinking about BITES as I take each bite during my meals. It keeps me focused on God (not my flesh) and my goal (freedom from the control of food).
How About You?
How do these words speak to you? Does the Holy Spirit lead you to different verses? Different definitions? Different words?
I replaced the light bulbs in my bathroom this week. Two bulbs over my mirror had burned out long ago, and because of their height above the mirror, I postponed the replacement for months.
And then my husband informed me that a repairman was coming to replace our water heater. He would need access to our master bath to check his work. I immediately went to work cleaning up the bath, including replacing the lights with new, extra bright bulbs. When I hit the light switch, I saw my face in a new light, literally.
You know, the right light can change everything. It can change our priorities and choices. It can change our perceptions and immediate plans.
Let’s just say my tweezers saw some heavy action that afternoon.
This has been very similar to my experience with the boundary of 0-5 eating. It has been a bright light in my life, and what it is revealing has surprised me. Perhaps I am not who I thought I was.
Because weight loss wasn’t a major concern for me, I thought the 0-5 boundaries were a wonderful tool. Notice I said, “tool,” and not “boundary.” You use a tool when you need it. Tools are morally and spiritually neutral. They’re useful and wonderful but only occasionally necessary.
A boundary is a commitment that reflects a moral or spiritual truth. Boundaries also hint at which identity I have embraced, and what I have given authority in my life. To recognize 0-5 eating as a boundary moves its priority up in my life because it reflects what I believe to be true. 0-5 eating is not an occasional tool anymore; it’s part of my daily walk with God.
That means that my commitment to this boundary is a lifelong commitment. With diets, there is a goal and an end date. “I’m only going to lose a few pounds,” I might have said long ago. “Then this diet will be done.”
When we choose to recognize 0-5 eating as a God-honoring boundary, we’re committing for life. Weight loss is not the goal; submission is.
As I make daily eating choices based on the truth that God is my ultimate authority, I find His light growing stronger and brighter. I have found, much to my surprise, that not everything is really what I once thought. When faced with conflict in the past, I fought for what I wanted, and what I thought was right. Today, however, I recognize that submission to God’s leading is the quickest route to inner peace, and inner peace is more valuable to me than winning a fight. I can trust God to work things out in His own time, and my “assistance” is often not required.
Choosing 0-5 eating as a boundary has changed a lot of things for me and I have begun to realize I am capable of big changes. I can do new things, and in new ways. Submission and obedience are tough but tender teachers. I have found a peace I didn’t know was available. I’ve learned that my real strength comes from surrender. And that God can surprise us all at any moment in our journey, leading us somewhere bright and new.
What About You?
Do you think of 0-5 eating as a tool, or a boundary? Do you think there is a difference for you?
When you consider the words “surrender” and “submission,” what is your first reaction? Is it pleasant or negative?
If you lost all the weight today that you wanted to lose, would you still continue with the 0-5 eating guidelines? Why or why not?
Christina posted yesterday about the spiritual warfare she is experiencing lately.
I am in the trenches, too. Even though I may be a “veteran” and have been at this a loooooong time, I nevertheless go through seasons of difficulty. To be honest, this is the most challenging I have ever experienced.
As a result, I have been struggling with an ungodly behavior pattern in the evenings. It is a pattern of not caring nearly so much about obedience as I do to use food to deal with life…to cope!
My accountability partner challenged me to truth journal even several times each week, knowing that God has used it in such an amazing way with me in the past. I am so grateful for this challenge and have since decided that I need to do it every day.
To coddle myself into being willing to do this, though, I told myself when the urge to eat outside of my boundaries hit in the evening, “I can eat after I truth journal…” This is a strategy I learned from Barb Raveling in her Taste for Truth Bible Study material (have I ever confessed to you all that I wish I had written that study? LOL!). After I have truth journaled or used another method to renew my mind, I often don’t want to eat outside of my godly boundaries after all–which is, of course, the point. As warped as this sounds, this causes me to be more willing to truth journal. It is almost like in my old-way-of-thinking-now-resurfacing, I tell myself I get a food reward for truth journaling! Crazy, right? Especially given all the things I share here at the blog. By telling myself I can ignore :-/ my boundaries if I want to after I have done some of the nitty gritty renewing of the mind work, I end up being more willing to live within the boundaries God has established for me. After I truth journal, my heart has a different focus and I feel as though I have feasted. My hungry heart has been fed a rich, nutritious “meal” of what it really longed for.
In this pretty intimate video (that I have designated as “unlisted” at YouTube), I share with you as the struggle unfolds. I give you a glimpse into the battle that is raging for me (even by the light of the Christmas tree) and what I am doing about it in real time. I also tell what happened after I renewed my mind.
I hope it is encouraging to you. There is really no way around the hard work of training our minds to think differently. THIS will cause lasting change.
If you get blog notifications in email, you will have to visit the blog for the video to display correctly.
How About You?
What work are you willing to go to in order to REALLY beat the tendency to eat outside of 0 and 5?
Emily lives in South Korea with her husband and 2.1 children. She enjoys being the token American in her neighborhood and baking for the Korean neighbors. She is grateful for the chance to lead worship in their small “expat church”. Like most mothers, she’s also good at multitasking–like cooking and putting on bandaids, rubbing four feet while reading two books and driving while chewing gum and talking on FaceTime with family back home. 
