My Refuge – A Lie? Or God’s Truth?

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Image Source: Stock Exchange

…for we have made a lie our refuge

and falsehood our hiding place.

Isaiah 28:15b

One of my most difficult challenges over the years–the years of my ever-escalating weight and even the six years of being at a healthy size–has been when my husband goes out of town. I have spent lots of time journaling, praying, and pouring out my heart to God about this particular struggle. But deeper, darker, root issues aside, the bottom line is, while it isn’t as big a challenge as it once was, I have habitually turned to ice cream…lots of it…to make myself less lonely, less sad…less…less…well…less whatever. I have turned consistently over the years to the lie that food was what I needed in those moments. I really have, over the years, made the lie my refuge and falsehood my hiding place.

But it hasn’t stopped there. As we discussed in our online class yesterday as we addressed David’s cover-up of his adulterous affair with Bathsheba, during those times when my husband has been out of town and he knew there was ice cream in the house…if I didn’t “cover my tracks,” I knew I would be busted. If he knew we had a half gallon of ice cream when he left and I ate my way through most of it, I simply couldn’t have him discover the evidence of my gluttony…so I had to finish it off and go buy a new half gallon so that it would appear that I had been virtuous while he was gone–as if I had abstained completely from ice cream. Or be sure I bought some after he left and finish it before he returned. I knew he wouldn’t ask me about it, so it wasn’t like a downright lie, but it was definitely making a falsehood my hiding place.

The other really weird piece to this is, it isn’t like my husband has ever been my food cop. He never has acted disapproving of my weight or my eating, but has always been affirming and loving (or at least that is how I remember our history together). I think I have projected my upbringing…the upbringing of living in a home where I DID sneak food and DID live a lie about food … all over onto my relationship with my husband now. Does that make sense? What this does is make this “refuge” and “hiding place” thing even more of a lie and falsehood than it already was.

It gets complicated sometimes, but that’s the way it is about lies. I am convinced that if things (like explanations for why I do what I do) are complicated, it might be a good indicator that there is a BIG lie at the heart of it. God’s TRUTH is simpler. Easy to swallow? No. Not necessarily. But definitely simpler. That’s the thing about truth…it is so much simpler.

As I have looked at this history with ice cream, my justification/entitlement eating, and the downright deception that I have woven to protect the “precious,” it sickens me. I am so thankful for a loving, gracious, kind, merciful God who waits to show me compassion.

Thoughts to Consider:

1. Does my story resonate with you? Can you identify in some way with the lie being a refuge for you or falsehood being a hiding place? Take some time to journal about it.

2. What is the TRUTH? I want to take the lies that I tell myself and replace them with God’s truth. Will you do this with me? For me, I will create a truth card about these things:

  • What is the truth about my husband’s trips away from home? If something happens to him, what then? (Contrary to what I have thought, I know I will survive!)
  • What is the truth about my security in Christ?
  • What is the truth about where my greatest protection and comfort is found?
  • What is the truth about ice cream? (Yes, I even include the truth that ice cream tastes good…I wouldn’t hide myself in it if it wasn’t pleasant! We don’t need to fear the truths that are also favorable about our lies/falsehoods! But including ALL the truth is important!)

3. I want to sit with the Lord and ask him what the root of this is. What I mean is what makes me feel like running away, hiding away, escaping in the first place? What is GOD’s solution to this? He wants to be my hiding place, but what will that look like? You may want to ask yourself these questions, too, if my admission reminds you of yourself in some way.

Our God is faithful!

When We Feel Like Pitching a Fit!!!

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

We have all experienced temper tantrums. Usually, the context is our kids’ attempts to get their way…or maybe it’s someone else’s  kids. 🙂

But have you ever wanted to throw a temper tantrum? Or forget the “wanted to throw” … have you ever just plain ol’ pitched a royal fit? (Or maybe you aren’t like me? LOL!)

God works with me in themes and today’s theme seems to be “temper tantrums.” It has hit me from several sources…and, if I am honest, I am throwing one very UGLEEEEEE, giant temper tantrum all over the place today. (But that is another story, with the telling best left for another decade.)

An epiphany just hit me…as I was typing this post, I  mis-spelled “temper” and it came out on the keyboard:

TempTer Tantrum

Interesting. I don’t need to wonder long in the context of my own “TempTer Tantrum” to know that the Tempter–ol’ Satan himself–likely laughs with glee as I “indulge” in pitching my fit. TempTer tantrums have entitlement and justification written all over them!

This morning, my husband stumbled out to the deck where I was having my quiet time. He was groggy, rummy, bleary-eyed and somewhat sleep deprived, I guess. Some of his first words were, “I don’t feel like eating 0 to 5 any more…”

Having my iPad handy, I invited Bob to have a seat, then tapped “record.” The following sound byte is the result. Don’t be awed however…this was actually a conversation that took the better part of a half an hour. I have whittled it down to three and a half minutes. You will see where Bob started with his temper tantrum…and where he ended.

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/100362801″ iframe=”true” /]

Adriane also mentioned a temper tantrum in her most recent Sound Cloud file. I thought I would share it with you as well. Thanks, Adriane, for being so real! I love how she intends to use this file to remind herself of just how AWFUL it feels when we GIVE IN to a tempter tantrum!

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/100150596″ iframe=”true” /]

(Email subscribers will probably have to come to the blog site in order to take advantage of the sound files. It is worth it! Come on over!)

Questions for Your Consideration:

1. Can you relate to having what Adriane calls “an adult temper tantrum?”

2. You might want to spend some time truth journaling what you feel when you throw a temper tantrum. What are the reasons you are most likely to pitch your fit? Use what you journal to make a truth card or two. Lots of things in Adriane’s Sound Cloud file would make an excellent truth card.

3. What is true about your temper tantrums? (Does it make you feel better? Closer to God? Solve a problem?)

4. What is true about what you are entitled to? (You might want to consider this from God’s perspective. Check out Romans 3:23 and Romans 6:23a.)

5. In what ways has God chosen to bless you?

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Note: Don’t forget to register for today’s webinar if you plan to come. It is at 3pm Pacific Time (5pm Central, 6pm Eastern). Info below:

Please register for Entitlement Eating – Thin Within Support – Week 4 Renewing of the Mind on Jul 10, 2013 3:00 PM PDT at:

https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/7903616486957465856

“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never ben sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”

Many of us have experienced feeling these things. Some of us may even live by this sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).

What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?

This week, we talk about these things. Come on along. The price is $0 for another week!

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.

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Snacks and Intimacy with God! :-D

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Entitlement can be something we *learn*! Some of these thoughts we want to recognize may be “left overs” 🙂 from our dieting days. Two of these are:

1.) Snacks don’t count

2.) I am entitled to eating/drinking artificially sweetened foods/beverages all day without consequence (in dieting, we actually thought this was virtuous! I hate to burst your bubble now!)

Here is a sound byte from Sound Cloud. I hope this helps! 🙂

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/100228370″ iframe=”true” /]

Thoughts For You to Consider:

1. Do you sometimes pop something in your mouth but don’t “consider” it a meal if it consists of certain foods or is only a couple of bites of something?

2. If so, do you see any lie lurking in the belief that this doesn’t count? What would “renewing your mind” look like in this situation?

3. Have you ever found yourself shaky without sensing an earlier hunger signal?

4. Is there any chance that you are using artificial sweeteners (gums, mint, beverages) inbetween meals? If so, do an experiment…consider not using any for a day and see if your hunger signals become “more polite” and more manageable. 🙂

5. Consider any ways that God is drawing you into deeper intimacy with him. Spend some time thanking him for that fact. 🙂

Bible Verse to Ponder:

…we have made a lie our refuge and falsehood our hiding place. – Isaiah 28:15b

What lies have you found refuge in? In what falsehood have you hidden away in, safe from the emotional tidal waves of life? Are you like me, trying to hide from the wounds of life behind a carton of ice cream or within the confines of a candy bar wrapper?

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NOTE:

I will be trying to keep this page – Renewing the Mind Study – updated with links, including registration links for the online classes.

This week, the online class on Entitlement Eating is on Wednesday at 3pm Pacific Time. Please register by clicking here.

Next week, I will be offering the class for our Renewing of the Mind Study on THURSDAY, July 18th at 4pm Pacific Time. Please register by clicking here.

Entitled! I’m GONNA EAT! (Week 4 – Renewing of the Mind Study)

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

“I don’t care what my boundaries are…I wasn’t thinking about life on a day like this one when I ‘committed’ 0 to 5 eating.”

“Given what I am facing, surely God doesn’t expect me to just be ‘good’ after a day like today!!!”

“It’s just not fair. How come my sister can eat whatever she wants and never gain weight! It makes me crazy!”

“I am going to hang out on the boat this weekend with the ice chest, snacks, good friends, and just kick back. I’m not going to worry about my eating for a day! I have been good, after all. I deserve a break!”

Can you identify with these statements? Chances are, we all can.

In our society we are told that we deserve the best, we deserve all we can grab. Life should be fair! There is never a need to be sad or uncomfortable with so many options for making ourselves feel happy!

These are lies that we sometimes tell ourselves–lies that take us outside of our God-given boundaries of eating between physical hunger and physical satisfaction. If we want to really experience the victory that we have longed for, we have to be willing to recognize the lies when they appear and replace them with God’s truth. That is what our “Renewing of the Mind” bible study is about this summer. We want to change the way we think, because what we think, affects what we believe, and what we believe, affects our actions. Our actions over time establish patterns and it is those patterns that bring forth fruit in our lives…the results that we either rejoice in or are discouraged by–both in our character and outwardly.

If we want to choose a fruitful life that reflects the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives, we have to start with what we tell ourselves. How often do we tell ourselves we are entitled to “the good life?” Is this creating an unworkable belief that runs counter to realizing our godly goals?

Here is a 7 minute video on this subject (if you are an email subscriber, you may have to visit the website in order to see it):

I believe that if Justification is a primary reason we eat outside of our 0 to 5 boundaries, then Entitlement is its twin. Truly, if we could eliminate Justification Eating and Entitlement Eating, much of our eating outside of 0 and 5 would stop altogether!

Consider how wonderfully refreshing it is to live with integrity, acknowledging and praising the God of the Universe as he walks personally with you, inviting you into a life of discovery. He is sufficient! No, maybe not in the way we have come to expect in our world of drive-thrus, instant coffee, and microwave ovens. We think we are entitled to bigger, faster, and more. But our God IS huge! His glory fills the entire earth and he invites us to step up into intimacy with him–even as we train ourselves for godliness. It is SOOoooo worth it!

Assignment:

1.) Each week, I have asked you to evaluate if GOD has called you to a primary boundary of eating 0 to 5. If you aren’t convinced that this is something God is calling you to do, I believe you won’t be successful. You will find a million reasons NOT to eat 0 to 5. But if you know God is calling you to do it, if you have a conviction that is deep and abiding, then write it down in your journal and each time you reaffirm that this is, indeed, a conviction that comes to you from God, date it in your journal. I urge you to do this today, too–even if you already did yesterday.

2.) Evaluate if you need to adjust your secondary boundaries. Have you successfully lived with the secondary boundaries you established for yourself previously? It might be time to move forward…to add another one or tweak a prior secondary boundary. For those of you new to this, if you have noticed that you are unaware of physical satisfaction as it approaches, you can observe and correct–see if there are any trends as you look over the past week or so. Are your eating occasions outside of 0 to 5 (your primary boundary) when you are in the car? When you watch TV? Typically limited to one food in particular or when you are with a certain friend? If so, this provides the perfect opportunity to establish a secondary boundary to support you relative to that trend. If you are unclear what secondary boundaries can be helpful to you, post a question here in the comments section. Chances are, someone has dealt with the same challenge as you and has an idea for some supportive secondary boundaries!

3.) Visit  this page at Barb Raveling’s website–read and do the bible study and journaling activities on the page. You can print her blog post out and then journal your answers if you like.

4.) What do you believe about entitlement? How has it been affecting your eating?

5.) In the video, I gave the example of my driving as another area of my life where I struggle with an attitude of entitlement. How about you? Where do you see an attitude of entitlement: “I deserve the good life.” “Life should be fair.” or “I shouldn’t have to suffer!” affecting you? What are God’s truths about these situations?

6.) In the video, I mention four steps that can help you eliminate an attitude of entitlement. Try one (or more) of the following and see if it helps you!

  • Create a God List. More about the God List is found here.
  • Use the God List to have a Praise Fest whenever entitlement rears its ugly head. Read about the Praise Fest here.
  • Establish a habit of gratitude–thanking God for His gifts–the way he has blessed you. More about gratitude can be found here and my gratitude blog is here to get ideas of your own.
  • Create Truth Cards that remind you daily the truth about entitlement, what God’s view of this is, whether life should be fair or not, and all that comes to the one who is willing to suffer if God calls you to do so. Here is a video about Truth Cards.

7.) Share here with us what God shows you about “Entitlement Eating” this week. How can we pray for you?

8.) Recording of our online class from this week of study (it is a sound file only, so don’t expect a video):

Description:

“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never be sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”

Many of us have experienced this. Some of us may even live with a sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).

What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?

Crash and Burn – SURVIVED!

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Have you ever eaten something at a meal when you were at “The Perfect Zero,” only to feel what seemed like moments later like you had a HUGE blood sugar dive? I call this the “Crash and Burn” phenomenon.

I know many people are  concerned about waiting for physical hunger for fear they will experience the “Crash and Burn.” For me, this isn’t potentially detrimental, though I know for some with diagnosed blood sugar issues, it may be. So please, if you are insulin resistant, pre-diabetic or have any concerns whatsoever about your blood sugar levels,  do what your doctor would want you to do and ignore me!

For the rest of us who might use our fear of low blood sugar to justify eating when we aren’t quite at a 0, though, maybe there is something here that can encourage you or offer you strategies for success. In any event, I survived the experience!

For me, the Crash and Burn only happens when I feed The Perfect Zero with something very high in simple sugars…like fruit, for instance, or…as this case demonstrates, pancakes and syrup!

The Crash and Burn incident in the below sound byte happened to me last week. I decided to experiment a bit. In the following sound byte, I describe what happened, how it happened, and what I decided to do about it. (Forgive the echoing piece in the middle of the byte. I was using new software and didn’t know I had a setting messed up!)

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/99698864″ iframe=”true” /]

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

he hears their cry and saves them.

Psalm 145:15-19

How about you? Do you fear the Crash and Burn? Do you have medical reasons to be concerned or is it discomfort that you want to avoid? What are some strategies you can use to manage through these kinds of incidents?

NOTE: I hope you will join us for today’s webinar to talk about Justification Eating. Here are the specifics!

Please register for Justification Eating – The Lies We Tell Ourselves – Thin Within Support on Jul 5, 2013 4:00 PM PDT at:

https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/2393142384803265792

We are learning how to renew our minds to support us on our Thin Within journeys. We want to break free from telling ourselves lies that cause us to eat outside of our God-given 0 and 5 (hunger and satisfaction) boundaries. Let’s talk about what we can do to SEE the lies and what we can to to take them captive while replacing them with TRUTH! VICTORY can be ours as we deal with this important issue.

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.

Declaration of DEPENDENCE

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

I get asked often if I am completely free, if food no longer has a hold on me. (Clearly, these folks don’t read the blog, see the videos, or listen to the Sound Cloud files! LOL!)

Honestly, each time I think I am “free,” a new layer is torn away, revealing a vulnerable “underbelly.”

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul tells about his astounding experience of heaven. A “thorn in his flesh,” a “messenger from Satan,” tormented him specifically to keep him from becoming conceited over what he saw. He even asked God to remove it.

I sometimes feel that way about my challenges with overeating–that it is my “thorn in my flesh.” If I had successfully lost 100 pounds and that was it–end of story, no more struggle–would I be conceited? Knowing me, yes. I know I would be much more “independent.” I wouldn’t sense so great a need for Jesus in my daily life!

Like Paul, I have asked God to remove this struggle. I get the same answer as Paul:

NO!

I love Paul. He asked two more times: “Are you sure, God?”

God’s answer stood firm–with an addendum:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.

There is something about God saying NO to Paul that caused Paul to experience a greater grace, a greater power–specifically because of his weakness.

Isn’t that amazing? I love how “backwards” our God works.

The same is true for me.

His grace is sufficient for me

Paul’s humble response to God’s “no” answer was:

THEREFORE, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

What a great response to a “NO” answer from God! (As opposed to the tantrum I have been known to have!)

Paul, in essence says, “No? Ok…so I will delight in what you have said is true, God!”

In our society INDEPENDENCE is praised. In the US, we celebrate today as “Independence Day.” I am thankful for the freedom in my country, but even while I am thrilled that we are an “independent” nation, I want to celebrate and declare my DEPENDENCE on a wonderful, kind, loving, sovereign God, the King of the Universe.

He uses my eating challenges each day to remind me that I need Him, to remind me that I am utterly dependent on Him. Not just for my eating and the food he provides, but for all of life.

Paul goes on to say that he won’t just boast about his weaknesses. No. He will also DELIGHT in them! He chooses to respond to his circumstances–his weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties–by giving God glory. Paul DELIGHTS in them. Why? Because they cause him to be totally dependent on God. He gets to see God’s power evident in his life!

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

He uses my eating challenges to reveal his power to me daily in my weaknesses, too.

Yes, today is a perfect day for ME to celebrate my DEPENDENCE on my God. I know that I can’t make it through any day without my God. His Spirit is at work within me to encourage me, enable me to resist temptation, to give me great joy and for a million other purposes. As I relish the privilege I have to be DEPENDENT on my God, I experience growth and peace that nothing else could possibly offer.

How about you? Will you celebrate your dependence on God today? How so? What are ways you know that you are dependent on Him and that he “shows up” for you? Share with us so that we might celebrate as well!

Review of Barb Raveling’s “I Need a Donut” App

Here is the link to my friend, Barb Ravelings, “I Deserve a Donut” iPod or iPhone app. It is only $1.99! You can download it now and then walk with me through using it, or read this and then decide if you want to download the app.

It is my goal to think the way God does about life, about 0 to 5 eating, about my body, about my situations and people in my life–to renew my mind–and to welcome the transformation that God intends happen. Barb’s app is specifically intended for dealing with challenges with emotional eating,  but it has been used by God do far more in my life than just help me overcome emotional eating. God is using it to transform me over all. This app is SO helpful.

photo

So this is what I am doing even now as I share this with you. The above image shows the screen you get when you select her app on your iPod, iPhone, or iPad. I choose “Emotions” since I am struggling with being teary this morning.

Once I click on EMOTIONS. This is the screen I get:

01app

As you can see, there are more emotions that Barb has included than fit in my screen shot. But for today, I select “Insecurity.” Since insecurity is such a BIG deal with lots of aspects to it, Barb has included a number of options within the “Insecurity” category:

02app

Even Insecurity has a lot of options. So, lately, I have struggled with “Feeling Rejected/Condemned.”

Upon selecting this option, I find a list of questions followed by statements to consider. These questions, I prayerfully ponder and journal. I will do a bit of that here so you can see the process as it unfolds for me.

03app

Barb’s app gets right down to it instantly:

1. Is it possible to live life without ever being rejected or condemned? If not, what’s the sad truth you’ll have to accept right from the beginning?

2. What did this person do to make you feel rejected or condemned? Be specific.

3. Does she do this sort of thing with other people, or does she only do it with you? If she only does it with you, why do you think she only does it with you?

4. Do you think her behavior is a sign that she doesn’t love or respect you in particular, or is this just an example of the way she responds to people in general?

5. Did you do anything to make this person reject or condemn you?

If I haven’t done anything that caused this person to reject or condemn me, is there anything I need to accept about this person and how she handles relationships?

6. Is God’s love enough to satisfy you even if this person rejects or condemns you?

7. What do you think God wants to do for you in the midst of this difficult situation? (See insecurity verses for ideas.) Barb has a bunch of Bible verses that can minister to us in our insecurity. They are wonderful to look up, study, journal and pray through, and memorize.

Based on the verses that Barb has included, I get these answers to the above question:

  • God wants to be my shield, my glory, and to lift my head (Psalm 3:3)
  • He is the defense of my life and he wants me not to dread anyone or anything. In the day of trouble, He conceals me in His tabernacle; He wants to lift me up on a rock. (Psalm 27: 1b, 5)
  • He wants to establish my steps. He delights in my way. He will not let me be hurled headlong when I fall. He wants to hold my hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)
  • He wants to be my refuge and my fortress. He wants me to trust him. He delivers me from the snares of life. He will cover me with his feathers and hide me under his wings where I can seek refuge. He is faithful to me. (Psalm 91:2-4)
  • He wants me to rest in the fact that He has made me fearfully and wonderfully. He wants my soul to sit in and know this truth. (Psalm 139:13-15)
  • He wants to build me up. He gathers me–as any outcast–to himself. He heals the brokenhearted and wants to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. (Psalm 147:2-3)
  • He wants to change my name. Instead of “Forsaken,” “Rejected,” “Desolate,” “Unwanted,” He calls me “My delight is in her.” He delights in me and as a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, my God rejoices over me! (Isaiah 62:4a, 5b)
  • He remembers me; His heart yearns for me; He has mercy on me. (Jeremiah 31:20)
  • He has loved me with an everlasting love and drawn me closer to himself with loving kindness. He will build me up again. He will cause me to dance and rejoice again some day! (Jeremiah 31:3,4)
  • He is in my midst as a victorious warrior. He exults over me with joy. He quiets me with his love. He rejoices over me with shouts of joy! (Zephaniah 3:17)
  • He is coming to me to dwell with me. (Zechariah 2:10)
  • He demonstrates His love for me in that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. (Romans 5:8) He loves me!
  • I am His workmanship, created for things to do that He calls me to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
  • He will complete the work in me that he has begun. (Philippians 1:6)
  • He does NOT condemn me! (Romans 8:1)
  • Nothing will separate me from His love. (Romans 8:35, 38,39)
  • I am his own possession. He showers me with mercy. (1 Peter 2:9.10)

8. Who are you in God’s eyes? 

Many of the above verses and others that I have journaled speak of this. When I use this app, I go over this again. It is very affirming. If you wonder who you are in Christ, have a look at Who I Am In Christ which is a pdf document.

9. How do you think God wants you to respond to this person who is condemning or rejecting you?

10. Is there anything I need to accept?

ASSIGNMENT:

1. If you have an iPod, iPhone, or iPad, download this app and give it a try! Share with us here what happens!

2. Use the questions that I have shared with you here to process something that might lure you to eat (that is if rejection or condemnation are emotions that fit for you). Prayerfully process the questions and see if God uses them to help your mind be renewed.

Night Time Eating – Let’s BEAT It!

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Of all the situations and challenges we face in maintaining our primary boundary of eating within 0 and 5, probably the #1 on the list is “Night Time Eating.” If ever there is a time of day that we find ourselves “justifying” eating outside of physical hunger and satisfaction, it is probably 8 times out of 10, from the dinner hour on for many of us.

Here is a sound file that speaks to this. (If you are an email subscriber, you may need to visit the blog site in order to hear the file.)

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/99361378″ iframe=”true” /]

How about you? Do you struggle with night time eating outside of your boundaries of 0 and 5? What can you do to structure tonight for success? Will you? 🙂

Week 3 – Justification Eating, or “The Lies We Tell Ourselves”

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

I am not really breaking my boundary.

Truth? Or lie?

This little bite won’t matter beyond satisfied.

Truth? Or lie?

God doesn’t really care about my eating.

Truth? Or lie?

I have been exercising so I deserve to eat this.

Truth? Or lie?

What do each of these statements, said in an attempt to justify eating outside of my boundaries, have in common?

They are all lies.

Most of the time we violate our boundaries, it starts in the seed of a lie.  We may call it “justifying,” but it is, simply, lying to ourselves.

Since this study is about being transformed by the renewing of our minds,  since we have been evaluating the lies that we believe and rejecting these lies and replacing them with truth, one of the best places to look is the tiny little “mistruths” we tell ourselves that erode our resolve to live according to our boundaries.

I have asked everyone participating in this study (and even those of you not in this study may want to do this) to evaluate: Are you convinced that God is calling you to the primary boundary of eating within the parameter of physical hunger and satisfaction? 0 and 5?

Many of us, in a moment of clarity, were convinced that God was calling us to this. We don’t want to lose sight of that. Anything we tell ourselves that minimizes that conviction should be scrutinized. Here is a video about this:

This week’s assignment:

1.) How about settling this question in your mind: Are you convinced that God is calling you to 0 to 5 eating or eating within the parameter of physical hunger and satisfaction? If you are convinced that this is GOD’s call to you, jot it down in your journal: “I know God is calling me to eat within 0 and 5” or other statement that reflects your conviction. Date it. If you did this last week, go to the place in your journal where you wrote it down and write today’s date with an affirmation that you are recommitting to 0 and 5. This is important. If we aren’t convinced that this boundary is what GOD is calling us to, then we will rationalize and justify a million reasons not to live according to it!

In a moment of clarity, when we aren’t tempted, we prayerfully welcome God to convict our hearts about the boundaries HE has for us. Whatever these may be, we want to establish a way of remembering this moment. It is important and will serve as a guiding principle for our lives!

2.) Evaluate your secondary boundaries that you established last week. If you are doing just fine with those, you may want to ask God to show you another boundary to add or to trade out or modify. Remember, secondary boundaries support you in maintaining your ability to abide by your primary boundary of 0 and 5. Jot down in your journal what your new (or revised) secondary boundaries will be.

3.) Go to Barb Raveling’s website and read and complete the study she has on Justification Eating found here by jotting the answers down in your journal. As when we did this study last spring, it will be helpful for us to remember that Barb isn’t a Thin Within participant. Please don’t be thrown off by her reference to “calories.” Keep focused on what God has led you to do and invite him to show you the benefit you can glean from her material! It is great stuff! We just have to skip over some dieting jargon from time to time.

4.) List in your journal 5-10 “small lies” you tell (or have told) yourself to justify eating outside of your primary boundary of 0 and 5.

5.) Beneath each lie you have exposed, write down the TRUTH in that situation. If you find this helpful, continue the process, stopping every 5 to 10 of these to be sure to write the corresponding TRUTH down for each.

6.) Journal: If you start telling yourself the truth about your eating, will it affect how diligently you follow your primary and secondary boundaries? Are you willing to do this today? If not, why not?

7.) What food or eating experience are you most likely to justify going outside of your primary boundary (of eating 0 to 5) in order to experience?

For example: I love to go out to almost any restaurant for Mexican food. I know that when I sit down to the meal, I will eat enough chips and salsa to no longer be hungry, yet I still want to eat some of the meal when it arrives. I tend to tell myself “I am still hungry” when the meal comes to justify eating as much as I would have if I hadn’t eaten any chips to start with!

7.) Strategize what you can do about this situation.

For example: I will ask the server to bring the chips with the meal and consider it part of my portion.

     Or:

When the chips arrive, I will takego to the restroom and take a time out. This will cut into the amount of time that I will have eating chips and salsa before the meal arrives. I will use the time in the restroom to review my truth cards (if I have them with me) or to remember what is true about my boundaries and the joy I have when I live according to them. When I get back to the table, I will slow my eating of chips or intentionally have only 5 or 10 chips with salsa. I will remind myself of the truth that I rejoice in living within my God-given boundaries.

8.) List things that are true whenever you have broken your 0 to 5 eating boundaries. How do you feel when you break your 0 to 5 boundaries? What does it do for you? List what is true about breaking your 0 and 5 boundaries so that when you are considering breaking your boundaries with your justification, you can look at your list of how you feel *after* you have broken your boundaries and remember! You might want to add this list to your TRUTH cards. “When I eat outside of my boundaries, I _____________”

For example: After I have broken my 0 to 5 eating boundaries, I am filled with regret.  After I have broken my 0 to 5 eating boundaries, I worry that I won’t stop. The joy of eating outside of my boundaries is momentary compared to the time spent frustrated with myself.

How is justification eating telling yourself a lie? What truths can you tell yourself when you are faced with a moment of decision about whether or not to give in to the temptation to eat outside of your boundaries?

Note: If you are just joining us, you can go to this page and see what we have done so far. Come on along!

10.) As a final part of the assignment, consider posting here some of the things that God showed you about the lies you tell yourself and the truth to counter those lies…OR anything else that you may want to share with others. If you have a question feel free to post it here as well! 🙂