It comes back again and again to gratitude, to giving thanks. You see, when I give thanks or gratitude to God, I assume a humble posture. God is the giver. I am the one so blessed. He gives what he gives according to His wisdom at the proper time and I praise Him for that. I can’t give thanks to God and grab for “my rights,” “my food,” “my smaller size” at the same time. When I give thanks, I esteem HIM. He is lofty. He is exalted. I am in the place where I should be.
In HEAL lesson 6 on page 111, Kenon (who shares an incredibly powerful testimony, I might add), says:
Each day overflows with gratefulness in the face of significant losses and challenges. He has shown me, time and again, that our abundant life is rooted in his presence. No matter the circumstances, his love is confirmed and his beauty shines through me as mine is set aside–what a privilege.
You see, no matter what we may face, we have His presence, His love, His beauty to enjoy. Kenon has gone through numerous bouts with cancer and chemotherapy. She knows what she is talking about.
Meanwhile, I fuss about how little food I “get to eat”–I don’t require much! There is something seriously wrong with my perspective. I am so thankful for people like Kenon who boldly speak the truth, praising God as the giver of every good and perfect gift in spite of incredible hardships.
There is so much discussion of “How to Know God’s Will” (21 MILLION entries for that on Google alone!!!) and yet in this short verse (1 Thessalonians 5:18) we are told…give thanks in ALL circumstances…THIS IS God’s will. It is a path to peace (Psalm 119:165) as, when I take the posture of humility, I recognize God’s authority and right to rule in my life. This is huge. My struggle with food, eating and my body is just a way of being distracted from God’s right to rule my life.
When I CHOOSE to give gratitude each day, when I CHOOSE to praise and THANK the Lord, I am transformed from the inside out. No amount of external “control” tools (charts, graphs, scales, etc.) can come near to transforming me as much as this can.
On the Thin Within forums, someone mentioned to me that I make this lifestyle sound so simple. These are the thoughts I shared on that forum:
Well, it is simple, but definitely not easy. I know folks probably get so tired of hearing me go on and on about it not being about food, diet and our bodies….
Truth is, I have found God taking me through an extreme desert of testing. Not with extreme challenges like many face, but with where I live such a blessed existence that there IS no excuse. None. For some reason, my own rebellion is smack in my face now. I am in the wilderness and I can see the truth for what it is…and it ain’t pretty! I am so surprised at how my pride kept me from seeing the truth! Even now, I wonder how much pride remains keeping me from seeing just how much truth! The thought scares me! One step at a time, though. He calls me to deal with where I am right now, this minute.
Regarding legalism hindering hearing the voice of the Spirit…
Wow. You sure hit that nail on the head. I know that for me “doing it right” has taken on an entirely new meaning. In the past, my dieting mentality dictated that “doing it right” would have to mean “on such and such a day, I start doing ‘this’ and do it ‘faithfully’ until all the weight is off and then forever keep the weight off.”
Wow…for me that really IS legalistic! That is all about me, my behavior, my success…Boy, I have found myself with my face in the dust now. My healing is there in the dust, too…and I reach for the hem of Jesus’ robe…
Regarding losing lots of weight with Weight Watchers, keeping it off for a time, losing some with TW, keeping it off for a time, gaining some back and finding ourselves so discouraged now…
God is letting me experience these same sorts of “set backs” so that I begin to deal steadily with the underlying causes. It isn’t about my body or food…it is about something so much deeper. I learned not to stay present for the disappointments of life very early…as a child. Now he is gently tearing my coping mechanisms away from me so that I am left vulnerable, naked, exposed. It is tough, but necessary. Though I feel like a 10 year old left to process the emotional challenges of an adult’s life, he is faithful…as I stay present in the moment and present to him, he has been showing me (and I am slow to be willing to see it all, so it is more like layers of an onion) how to become more healthy…I mean more an expression of his healing in a life. He shows me how to experience things I have avoided for years…or numbed out to…or gone into hyperdrive perfectionism mode over…and, instead, be, learn, grow, and allow him to show me his way of processing.
It is messy. It isn’t easy. But it has been this entire food/body/weight/eating thing that he has been using to do this in me. I don’t know if this makes sense….
But that is why I can say simple…yes. Easy, no way.
In fact, to complicate things further, I am unwilling much of the time…and yet another opportunity to learn the lesson he has been trying to teach me has to be presented. Again. Again….and, sadly…again! He is gracious, praise His name!
Regarding being able to beat so many other idols in our lives, yet still finding overeating and food/body issues a remaining stronghold and wondering why it still has such a strong hold on us…
For me, the answer to this question is this remains a way of avoiding the deeper issues in my life. If I can stay distracted by controlling things, my eating, my weight, my appearance, then I don’t have to be present to the Lord in the moment. I can even wrap my attempt to control in “godly” wrappings…Oh, I am so clever! It is just the same issue, with a slightly different appearance.
Regarding wanting to be obedient to the Lord in every area of life, and knowing that eating this way (0 to 5) is definitely God’s call on my life, yet struggling all the same…
Sometimes when I find myself churning I might even pray: “Lord! I just want to be obedient in every area of my life!” He has reminded me that, in moments like that, he calls me to just be like Mary…”obedience” is seen in just sitting at his feet and being present to HIM and what HE wants to do in my life. To set aside all my preconceptions and ideas about what obedience even looks like in this moment. How easy is it for me to even BE still?
The HEAL book asks, in lesson 6, how my life would be different if I wasn’t so focused on eating or food or weight or clothes or fixing it all. Wow…that is a convicting question. Life abundant, being used of God to minister to others…it seems so diminished in light of how much energy I have been pouring into this….aspect…. of my life. Yikes.
Regarding doing all we know how to do…praying, reading God’s Word, more bible studies…repenting again and again…and yet still wondering what is missing…
Being still…sitting…what if, instead of praying, instead of reading His Word, you were to just sit, wait and be still. Can you do that? I know I can’t….or it is really really hard for me. Which tells me a whole lot about myself! What am I running from? During my “quiet times” I am rarely quiet in my heart. Waiting in silence and stillness, listening for the Lord…oh, that is so hard for me…
Don’t know if any of this can encourage you, or anyone else…but it has been cathartic for me to write it. Hope you don’t mind my self-indulgence! :-/
The HEAL book by Smith and Halliday turns to a discussion on “God-Breathed Friendship” on page 107. This is a bold move, considering that these days, “friends” are connections we make with our husband’s former secretary’s sister on Facebook (ok, in all fairness, I DO ride horses with her, too!). In fact, I just looked over my “friends” list on Facebook and I definitely don’t know many of these folks. Sure, I get updates each day about their visits with out of town guests, shopping or how work is going, but wow…that doesn’t make us “friends.” At least not in the biblical sense of the word! I wonder if any of us are buying the definition of “friendship” that Facebook (or MySpace, Twitter, etc) is selling?
I hope not!
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I am not sure how we can live out this passage when “intimacy” is something we do with “instant messaging” and texting on our cell phones! There *must* be real-time, real-world connection with one another. I wonder if we have forgotten that true friendship includes sitting down and looking at one another, opening our mouths, making noises–in the form of words–and listening to our friend do the same? Even better if those words have something to do with what is on our hearts or an invitation to hold me accountable to pursue godly living!
In our busy lives, we have turned commitment and friendship into a convenience accomplished with technology.
God’s people have to resist this trend! I know I have to be VERY intentional about it.
There are many reasons that I tend not only to allow myself to be swept along into this trend, but actually to welcome it… When I connect face-to-face with real people I have to be much more accountable for what I say and do. Who wants that? :-/ (Hopefully, any disciple of Christ’s!) With keystrokes on my Blackberry, I can get away with loose words and no one asks me about ungodly choices I make in my life if they can’t see me!
How many of us have either sent or been on the receiving end of an email that someone let fly before it was considered how it might be received? There is a *real* person on the other end! Someone with a heart, with thoughts, feelings…someone who can be deeply wounded. If I let my fingers fly on the keyboard and press send, I can deeply affect someone else…someone I supposedly care about.
If I would hesitate to say what is in that email to the other person’s face, then I have no business sending it.
Gosh, I didn’t intend for this to become a tirade! In fact, Facebook has a lot of value to me…I love “connecting” in some way with people who I wouldn’t ordinarily talk with at all. But for those who I have committed to doing life with…if I have reduced that commitment to updating the world on my “status” then something is seriously wrong.
The authors of HEAL remind us that intimate friendship is a vital link to walking with God including in our choices to allow God His way in our emotional, spiritual, and physical health. We really can’t compartmentalize our lives.
As you and I consider our relationships, do we have anyone with whom we let down our hair? Anyone with whom we confess what we do when no one is looking? Or do you (or I) find that you maintain some pretense with everyone. While we know that the Lord knows all, there is something intensely liberating about being real with another–being authentic. In fact, I will suggest that the shame/sin/shame/sin cycle can actually be broken when we allow authenticity to be a part of our relationships with real people in face-to-face encounters.
God has allowed me a number of people over the years with which I have had accountability at some level. Some of these were intentional accountability relationships, formed and shaped specifically for the purposes of being accountable. Others were relationships that were definitely friendships that grew to include a level of intended accountability. There have been seasons of my life, as well, where I haven’t had relationships like this and, as I look back over my life, I have to say…I think this was an intentional attempt on my part to isolate, to hide. It never helped me to reach godly goals. So, if I or you find ourselves without anyone in our lives with whom we are intentionally real with, it is probably good for us to evaluate why not. Is it because we are running from the truth? Is it because we feel shame? If that is the case, we must be, must be, MUST BE intentional about bucking this! This is from the enemy of our souls who loves it when we operate (or try to) in isolation!
Real authentic relationships DO open me up for more heartache and pain, but if God is allowed to be at the helm, these very situations can also be used to stimulate His healing for me and to enable me to press on to know Him more and to live for Him more fully. I have someone who can celebrate with, too!
As the HEAL book says, “Girls we are not meant to do this life alone!”
Bringing it home: Take a moment to prayerfully consider your relationships. Who are your closest friends? If something went horribly wrong in the middle of the night, who would you call on to pray you through? What can you do to foster that kind of friendship with another person today? What can you do to be that kind of friend for another person today? If you ask the Lord, “Who are you calling me to develop trust in?” what name does He lay on your heart? Perhaps you can begin praying about what God would have you do and that he would prepare her heart as well. God exists in Trinity…three persons intimately related to one another…three, yet one…and he has created us in His image…that sure sprains the brain, but since he has created us for intimacy somehow, how can we cooperate with His plan for us to live out His call on our lives?
This chapter in the HEAL book, by Allie Smith and Judy Halliday, is titled Abundant Living.
It is interesting to consider what “life” has consisted of for me most of my years on this planet. Food and weight has been my nemesis (in one form or another) since my earliest memories… I don’t know about you, but I am really READY (beyond ready!) to see this change! I know God is at work changing this and gosh, how I SO much want to cooperate with him in this!
So I ask myself a question…and I ask you, too (inspired by HEAL, page 107):
What ways would your life be different if you were free from being focused on food, eating, your body, weight and anything related to this (diet, exercise, the scale, etc)?
…it really is something to prayerfully ask the Lord to show us.
What do you think?
(PLEASE do not allow the enemy of your soul to use this as a voice of condemnation! The Lord lovingly longs to lead us into change! He does NOT use the voice of condemnation to do this. Reject that!)
Someone I spoke with a few weeks ago has a degree in Bible Exposition and told me that the Hebrew word translated “paths” of righteousness in Psalm 23 could also be translated “ruts.” He pointed out that when the sheep would follow the shepherd across the land to get water or good pasture again and again, a rut would be worn where they would travel. It is a groove in the earth. It is easier to choose that path in which to travel, as it is familiar and well worn.
I could relate to this as, where I ride our horses, the most popular trails are like this, too…at least a good 6 inches lower than the surrounding terrain–the path where the riders have taken their horses again and again is a definite rut.
The person I spoke with pointed out that there can be ruts of UNrighteousness in our lives, too. Wow…did this strike me. See, when my horse is out there on the trail and he can choose between walking in the rut that has clearly been followed many times before or walking on the higher road, he will choose the rut every time. The rut is the path of least resistance.
So, I wonder…am I following a rut of unrighteousness? Is there a behavior that I seem to fall into again and again? Have I convinced myself that I must remain in that rut? Or can I, like my horse, step up out of that rut and take the higher ground? Sure, it may be a bit rougher and untrodden–it may even take a bit of effort and definitely a choice…but the Lord will enable me to blaze a trail…a new trail…in my life–establishing a rut of righteousness.
Bringing it home: What ruts are in your life? Do you see a rut of unrighteousness that the Lord wants you to step up out of? Can you, with an act of your will, ask the Lord to empower you to lift first one foot then the other up out of it to the higher ground? Can you make the path of least resistance one that you do, in fact, resist?
Lord, I pray that you will keep me from falling into ruts of unrighteousness. I pray that I would experience your strength in my weakness and, with an act of my will, step up out of the rut, trusting you to make it be ok. I know you will do that, Lord. In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.
My daughter is a great kid. She is one of the best–even at 15 years of age. But there are times when I catch us going back and forth about something–usually about how she has been sooooo kind to her brother. It typically results in her declaring with great pride how she has done such-and-such and what lucky people we are for her doing what is expected of her. What is right. At times like these she earnestly proclaims what a wonderful person she is for her obedience and typically I respond with something like “…for doing what you are supposed to be doing!?”
It struck me yesterday that I do the same thing…when I am walking in obedience, I tend to get pretty puffed up. “Gee, look at me now…I am obedient.” The Lord is such a gentle Father, “Yes, child, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing….”
I wondered if over the past few years, I have allowed this thinking to go on. Then, when I notice how prideful I have gotten about my obedience, I have dealt with it, not by crucifying pride, but by stopping the obedience! It is as if I know my pride is a problem, but rather than dealing with the PRIDE at the place where it needs to be dealt with, I cut off the obedience…problem “solved.” Tough to be prideful when you are back to license again. In fact, much to the contrary–shame breeds there.
…for it is God who works in you
to will and to act
according to his good purpose.
Philippians 2:13
This time, as God has allowed me to string together a series of moments given to him (obedience), I have seen this tendency coming. It still flabbergasts me. He has, again, lovingly reminded me that it is HE who is at work in me even making me WANT to be obedient. Additionally, I can’t even take credit for the choices I make, the ability to say no to temptation or yes to a good choice. His Spirit is at work in me causing me to WILL and ACT according to HIS good purpose.
So this time, rather than cut off the pride by cutting off what I am proud over, I will take it to Him…praise Him that HE is at work in me, causing me to WILL and to ACT according to HIS purpose, commit to pressing on and confessing pride. I will press on all the more. This is totally different than before! WHOO HOO!
More than finding the “right” weight-loss program, more than exercising more, or doing everything in “just the right balance,” practicing gratitude does amazing things from the inside out. I know I have proclaimed this here at the blog a lot, but today, Thanksgiving Day 2009, it bears repeating!
Let me share a story to illustrate this. Mary’s daughter just moved her mom out of an independent living situation in an apartment into an assisted living facility. Mary has Alzheimers. Before she moved, she was miserable and angry all the time. Now that she has moved, rather than following the pattern of most people when their “independence” seems taken from them, Mary is much happier.
The ironic thing is, the primary reason for Mary’s change in perspective is that when Mary lived on her own in her apartment, she plastered Post-It notes up all over the walls and cabinets with reminders of what she was angry about. Without these notes, she would forget she was angry.
In a new environment, Mary no longer has these reminders to help her focus on her anger (justified or otherwise). Having forgotten all, she is now much more light-hearted! Everyone notices the difference.
I got to thinking about this. In a very real way, Mary wall-papered not just her walls and cabinents with reminders of wrongs done to her, but she wall-papered her mind. I have to wonder if doing the same thing with all the blessings God has bestowed on us might not have the same effect. I don’t know about you, but I often forget the reasons I have to be thankful. What if I were to stick Post-It notes up all over the house with reminders of blessings–reasons I have for being thankful? Might this not affect how I live just as Mary’s Post-It notes affected her attitude and how she lived?
I know that when I focus on God’s amazing character and the wonderful way that he interacts with me, I have so much praise that wells up in my heart. It is hard to complain and gripe about food and my body when I allow HIS greatness to eclipse all my petty complaints!
As I practice this, it transforms me from the inside out. From someone who grabs for more, to someone who releases excess. From someone who finds something to criticize (about myself or others), to someone who delights in things formerly taken for granted. From someone who insists “I can TOO have that!” to someone who lovingly delights in offering to the Lord whatever he requires of me.
In this journey I have been on, I know for a fact that gratitude has been foundational in “flipping the switch” for me. It is time for me to return to a commitment to practicing gratitude.
Thank you, Lord, for the reminders you provide of how much I have to be thankful for.
Some months ago, someone came to our church on Sunday to be a guest speaker. His message was from Revelation 1 entitled “It’s Not About You.” After church, my 15 year old daughter and I talked about what we had heard. She said something like: “As I looked at the passage that he was preaching from, I wondered, ‘What does this have to do with not being about me?’ Then I realized…that was the point…it really ISN’T about me!”
You know what? It really isn’t!
As I did the study in Ephesians chapter 1 yesterday, I must admit…I saw afresh that God sure does go the extra mile in making me feel like I am worth SO much to Him! He has attributed value to me! But, even so…I came away from the study aware of the desired outcome of God’s goodness to me (all those verbs you may have listed done for the direct and indirect object–us)… So that I might be for the praise of His glorious grace. Am I living for HIS praise?
Even when it seems like it is about me, it is about the amazing God we serve!
Think about something for a minute…
With our obsession with food, eating, and our bodies, or our obsession with our obsession (dieting, exercise and all the accompanying thoughts, planning and scheming or beating ourselves up accordingly), we tend to make life all about us. This is one reason why choosing to focus on God and His character, HIS love, HIS heart for other people can have such a huge impact on healing us of our “me-drivenness.”
He is our hope for healing and the One who sets us free. A fabulous life results from pursuing God’s glory, not our own. (Smith and Halliday, HEAL, page 105)
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served,
but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Mark 10:45
Bringing it Home: How can you allow God to take your healing to a new level? In what ways can we take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on God and on others? It isn’t about me. It really isn’t. How can I get on board with God’s eternal purposes?
Begin to think of what you will do next as you contemplate this journey through the HEAL book coming to an end. What will you study next? What will you do to reach your goals and objectives to be healthier physically, spiritually, emotionally? Plan now for what will come next. If you have an accountability partner, you could plan together. If you don’t have an accountability partner, consider prayerfully asking someone to help you in this way. It can make a world of difference! It is so easy to remain STUCK when we isolate. Ask God to help you have the humility it may take to partner up with someone for 3 months and see if he does something amazing!
Read and work through Lesson 6: Abundant Living, found on pages 105-113.
Keep visiting here at the blog regularly and participate in the comments option. In this way, you solidify anything God is teaching you and also minister to others who visit and see your comments–even for months to come!
