When I was 10 years old, I ran into a car with my eyelid. 😮 The car wasn’t even moving. It was a car with a “fin” off of both sides at the back, sort of like the Ford Futura. I looked over my shoulder as I rode my bicycle away from my friends and, when I turned back to look where I was going, the sharp fin of the car found my eyelid. Talk about stopping suddenly!
I got sliced pretty well and, I guess, was fortunate my eyeball didn’t suffer for it! That was my second trip to the emergency room in my young life.
Amazingly enough, all these years, the scar hasn’t been very visible unless you knew to look for it. It is about two inches long, on my left eyelid.
Just this morning, though, I noticed as I looked at my rather tired, aging face in the mirror–the scar stands out now. Or at least it does today. How is it that, with *age* and the typical work that gravity does on various and sundry parts of the body, has come the emergence of this scar from almost forty years ago? It acts like an accusation of my having done something rather, well, stupid! 🙂
With *age* has come a reminder of something foolish I did when I was a kid! (See to the left, the arrow pointing to the scar on the eyelid and another arrow pointing to another scar near my nose where a stereo speaker mounted above my bed fell down and nailed me!)
I think there must be a lesson here for me to learn.
Another perspective on that “accident” I had a long time ago might be to consider what a blessing it was that I didn’t get hurt worse. And what a blessing that the neighbor would rush out of her house and scoop me up in her arms and carry me home, gushing blood from my eye and all! I wonder if Cathy Felix is out there somewhere today? I never said thank you. I sure would like to do that now.
There wounds I’ve incurred in the past and scars remain today, but they may not be so readily apparent. *I* see them. But no one else does. Until they *do*. And once it is evident…it is evident. I have a choice. Will I let my scars accuse me?
Maybe scars are reminders of experiences we have had for a reason–to remind us of what we have endured, of what the Lord has faithfully brought us through and that he doesn’t waste anything. Sure, if we allow it to happen, the scars can be used by the enemy to accuse us. But God has other plans for the scars.
This song by Point of Grace offers one thought about that:
Do you have scars? Which will your scars be–a reminder of God’s faithfulness or an accusation the enemy uses to harass you?
Lord, please help any who read this to offer their scars to you in praise for what you have brought them through. Thank you that while you sometimes do leave scars, you *have* healed the wounds. May we remember this fact, Lord, and praise your name. Help us to see what you intend in our scarring and reject the accusations of the enemy in our lives. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
The more I try to *fix* myself–to not have food, body, eating issues–the more ME-focused I have been. In the past few years, God has shown me that I need to know and focus on HIM, trading self-consciousness for God-consciousness. It is a slow process, but he is faithful!
Right now, God is using a book I have “stumbled upon” to propel me right into his throne room daily, where I bask in his presence in a vibrant way. This is a book I wish EVERYONE could get into their hands–and hearts! Because I really believe God will use this book to transform our lives, I am going to purchase three copies from the author, Ethel Herr, to give away to you, the visitors to this blog. I will tell you more about it in the days ahead. (I guess you can call it a contest!) So check back again in the next week ahead!
It is called Lord, Show Me Your Glory (but please don’t search for it on Amazon. I think the best way to get it is from Ethel herself!).
I have been using this book in my quiet times since the early part of March. If I could have written any book on the planet, this is the book I wish I had written, but I am SO glad that Ethel has! I could never write it so beautifully. It includes 52 chapters–one for each week of the year (though I must confess that I use several chapters each week, it is just so inspiring!). Each chapter includes profoundly written prose about two or more attributes of God, Ethel’s majestic poetry, and quotes that help to understand the relevance of the attribute considered. Scripture is found throughout as well, of course!
Each chapter concludes with “To Ponder” and lines on which to respond and “Pray” with lines for writing out a prayer to God, focusing on the very attributes learned about in the chapter. God-focused devotional material that is interactive. PERFECT! 🙂 Can you tell I am excited about this book? 🙂
Many people come to the internet looking for something. In fact, many come to this blog looking for something. Often, that “something” is a real, living, vital encounter with God. Ethel Herr’s book is a passport for each of us to the very thing we long for most. If our hearts are hungry (and we know they are), it is for the presence of God and Lord, Show Me Your Glory provides a veritable feast. When we sit down with this volume and taste and see that he is good, we will no longer grab for counterfeits. Our healing rests within the Scriptures as they disclose our God to us. Ethel’s book is a help to us, giving us glasses with which to see.
Ethel may post a guest blog post at least once (more, I hope!). You will have a chance to get to know her a bit, too! Such fun!
It is my prayer that this will bless your socks off as plunging the depths of her book, Lord, Show Me Your Glory, has blessed me! (And so it continues!)
Keep watching for details. And if you want to get to know Ethel a bit, you can do so by visiting her website.
“If I don’t do something, I am going to wake up dead!”
It was a prayer. It was an observation. It was a plea.
One hundred extra pounds on my frame were a liability.
“How did I get this way?”
For the love of food, I was risking leaving my children without their mom and my husband without his wife. I was highly motivated.
Pursuit of “body beautiful,” an old familiar routine, resumed–this time with a vengeance.
What began as a physical pursuit, however, changed radically.
I began to open myself to finding the answers to deeper questions than merely “How many fat grams is in this bagel?” or “Do these pants make my rear look bigger?” and began to look at “Why do I return to food again and again when I know I am not hungry?” The answers took me into deep places…places where the Spirit of God met me, arms open wide. The voice of God was almost audible, his breath nearly palpable. I could, as Zephaniah says, hear him delight over me with singing.
It was a welcome song as many of the haunts to which my mind and heart headed were unexpected places from childhood abuse and trauma—revisited, yet now with the Shepherd of my soul, tenderly wiping my tears, inviting a deep healing that saw beyond the painful years of life on this earth to purposes beyond. God revealed that he had been wooing me for a long time—yet I had not recognized him.
This time was different. This time he peeled away layer upon layer. It was painful at times, but as he did, he showed me there are so many things much deeper than the size and shape of my body. While he has shown me that I honor him by being as healthy as I can be, he has taken the anxious inner workings of a mind and heart in turmoil and used my physical struggle with food and weight to demonstrate his grace—that his grace is sufficient for me.
Yes, I released one hundred pounds between June 2006 and October of 2007, but I released so much more—disappointments, dreams that were never woven in heaven in the first place, desires that directed my mind into superficial pursuits, hopes that kept me from his best.
I wonder now if my life-long battle with food, eating, my body wasn’t about this all along. The metamorphosis that has been evident on the outside is barely a shadow of the transformation of my spirit, heart, and mind.
What began with a desire to pursue something, has resulted in my having been apprehended by a great and marvelous grace.
Is it possible that God may have in mind a transformation for you other than the merely physical one that you may long for? Will you go with him on this journey?
How could a Christian killer become the #1 missionary in the world for the cause of Christ? (The Apostle Paul.)
Or how could a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines pen beautiful words exalting marital fidelity? (Solomon and the book of Song of Solomon.)
What could possibly cause a man who an adulterous affair with one of his faithful soldiers, murder him to “cover up” his sin, end up being remembered as “a man after God’s own heart?” (King David.)
God…gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were. – Roman 4:17
We have an amazing God! He does the most unexpected things in the most unexpected ways.
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—
and the things that are not—
to nullify the things that are,
so that no one may boast before him.
~ 1 Corinthians 1:27-29
Think about this. He doesn’t require perfection of you before you step out in faith. To what is he calling you right now, so that his glory might be displayed in and through you?
This is a subject so near and dear to my heart as many women I have spoken with desperately want to attend a Thin Within group, but there isn’t one in their town. When encouraged to go ahead and start one, they say “I am NOT qualified!” Or some women, who have taken the leap of faith, then want to disqualify themselves because they feel they have not “succeeded” well enough to be a “good example” to the women in their group. They think they should quit. I am so thankful that Paul didn’t say to the Lord, “No, Lord. I can’t go preach the gospel until I have a good track record and have been faithful for 20 years.” Or that Solomon didn’t wait to get his life together before penning the Song of Solomon. There is such wisdom there. It seems nuts on the one hand that God chose these men as his instruments, but he did! That is just like him! He chooses the foolish things of the world, doesn’t he?
Do you have a choice to make.? Will you take the path that makes the most sense from the perspective of the world and human thinking, or take the path that God is calling you to take? Which will it be?
What have you been holding out doing until you can “measure up?” Has God called you now? 🙂
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.
Question: As you ponder the Lord and his deeds today, what comes to mind? For what will you praise him?
To do: When I am drawn to food today, I will take five minutes to “be still and know” and ask the Lord, “Why do I want food in this moment?” Psalm 111 says that he provides food for those who fear him and I will ask the Lord to show me if eating in this moment is a product of reverent fear and awe of him or if it is a product of my operating according to my fleshly impulses. I will choose, this day, to wait for that which he provides when my body needs food. I will relish the joy and freedom found when I eat for his glory.
Sometimes the reasons we overeat are deeper. Satisfied with our answers “I am just an emotional eater. I know I need to reign in emotional eating” we don’t penetrate the protective shell of our hearts. If we dare to ask “But WHY?” to our earliest answers to this question, sometimes we stumble upon the root–that which is deeper, lurking beneath the dark slimy rocks of a prison from which we long to break free. Many of us were sexually abused– molested–as girls. We may think that this doesn’t affect us today, but there are at least two ways that it may and both of them merit consideration:
1.) We learned as children to comfort ourselves with what was readily accessible–food. Another way of thinking of this is we “numbed” ourselves from what happened to us with food. In many ways this is disassociation–another “skill” we may have learned while the abusers had their way with us. Our minds would go somewhere else so we wouldn’t have to be present. This same lack of “mindfulness” may be a part of our eating today.
2.) We learned that we could hide from would be abusers behind extra weight–that they might leave us alone if our bodies weren’t so “cute.” Often, this is where many of us also learned to hide behind sweat pants and baggy t-shirts and many of us may have taken to doing whatever we could to repel the attention of men.
Here is the thing…TRUTH sets us free. Jesus said so in the gospel of John. So, being afraid of the truth is what the Enemy of our souls wants of us. If we run from the truth or insulate ourselves from it, the enemy can keep us in the shame-sin-shame cycle. If we face the truth and begin to walk through it, we can allow God to show us what his intention was in ever allowing these things to happen. We don’t want them wasted. They won’t be if we will bring the walls down and grant him access. Please prayerfully consider this. If you can identify with what I am talking about here, please let someone know. I really believe that the populations of women who have been sexually abused (and those who may find themselves in relationships with sexual addicts), overlaps with the population of women who battle eating disorders and, specifically, compulsive overeating, binge eating or just generally eating more than we need.
It is painful to look at these things. But as we do with the power of the Holy Spirit, inviting him to open our eyes to what is yet even deeper than the abuse, I believe we can experience a great healing. No, I don’t claim it is easy. We don’t want to slap a super-dee-duper spiritual band-aid on a gangrenous wound. Deep cleansing is painful, but healing.
But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall. ~ Malachi 4:2
Here is a related post … something I wrote about at my blog a long time ago at this link.
When I was 10 years old, I ran into a car with my eyelid. 😮 The car wasn’t even moving. It was a car with a “fin” off of both sides at the back, sort of like the Ford Futura. I looked over my shoulder as I rode my bicycle away from my friends and, when I turned back to look where I was going, the sharp fin of the car found my eyelid. Talk about stopping suddenly!
