A couple of years after Michaela was born (I think this was about 1996), I had a serious flirtation with being a distance runner. I had never been a runner and because of some health problems that had derailed my obsessive fitness craze, I wanted to return to something just as obsessive (I guess) but without being able to compare my current “performance” with a previous one. Running was safe since I had never had even the remotest interest in being a runner.
During my flirtation with running, I learned a great deal about the Christian life–God used my training runs to teach me so much and when I finally ran the San Francisco Marathon, I took a little booklet with me that I had made ahead of time. Each page represented a mile. I had written down quotes, verses, and people to pray for on each page…so for that mile, I would use those cues to help me focus on something other than how miserable I was 🙂 and when I passed the mile marker, I would tear the corner off the page. It was an absolutely wonderful growing, learning experience.
I can fear starting things because of hating to “fail,” so even crossing the marathon starting line was a HUGE victory! The fact that I finished the marathon at all, made me the winner from where I sat! (Even if it was after everyone else had gone home! LOL!)
When I began training, I couldn’t wear my old tennies and sweats. Instead, I wore the lightest possible clothing that would do the job. The shoes had to be supportive, but light–well made as we were going to be running 100s of miles in preparation for the marathon.
Once I got into running, I would never have imagined putting the old clothes back on for an 18 mile training run…they were too heavy and floppy and would hold me back from being the best I could possibly be.
Likewise, these scriptures teach us to throw off sin and anything that entangles. ANYthing that could hold us back from being the best that the Lord wants us to be in this course called life.
Once I got to San Francisco, I would never have dreamed of trying to tackle the sometimes hilly marathon course with a backpack filled with books on my back, for instance. There are some things, that while not sin, are going to hold me back.
I am called to throw off all of it. Anything that even hinders me. This is one reason why I have chosen not to drink nutrasweet any more. I could see that it was hindering me. Also, this is why I have chosen to get rid of the bathroom scale…while not “sin,” it was a hindrance. I had to throw these things off!
Anyone who runs a race must not only throw off all excess weight and avoid anything that encumbers, but they must also have a well-defined goal. (TLT, p. 151)
What I fix my eyes, my hopes, my heart on…that will affect how well I run, how I persevere.
If a thought came into my mind to top off my dinner with a large milk shake I would obey the thought. I was literally a slave to my cravings. But now I am instructed to turn things around, to make my body my slave. In other words, I am to master my cravings, and make my body subservient to my spiritual desires to honor the Lord in all things. (TLT, p. 151)
Focusing our lives on Jesus will enable us to throw off all excess weight and anything that hinders, keep us from becoming entangled in sin, help us to exercise self-control in all things, enable us to discipline our bodies and make them our slaves. This is the heart of the matter, fixing our eyes on Jesus Christ. (TLT, p. 151) The antidote to growing weary and losing heart is to look to Jesus, to consider Him, to focus upon Him and follow Him. If we consider Jesus Christ we will see that He did everything in His life on earth from a motivation to glorify God, and we are reminded to have the same motive. As we focus on Him we will see the One who endured hostility and opposition, yet pressed on, not turning back or giving in, and we are challenged to press on. As we contemplate Christ, we see Him endure suffering in His flesh to the point of shedding His blood for our sins, and we are reminded to endure, to persist, to persevere. This is the value of looking to Jesus. This is the importance of focusing on Him. If we look to Him, we cannot grow weary or lose heart and give up. (TLT, p. 151)
I want to finish this race. And I know that the only way I can finish strong is by focusing on Jesus, the one who is my example. He inspires and motivates me. When I consider all He has done for me, it seems crazy that I would not let go of some bites of food, or set aside something that hangs me up…for Him. He is so worthy.
The thing about blabbing to the world via a blog or Facebook or the Thin Within forums, is that the “world” may be watching to see what happens next. I have this very real sense…arrogant and erroneous as it may be…that the peanut gallery awaits, wondering how I did with my self-required fasting of sweets through Christmas Eve and…well…now what?
So here is my “report.” (Sound of the “tooting of own horn” may be heard in the background…)
Through Christmas Eve, I did “well.” Not perfectly, but almost completely without sweets. I did feel like I lived up to my promise to the Lord pretty well. (More tooting of own horn…)
…SPLAT!!!!!!….
Pride comes before a fall. So the sound you just heard (following the “tooting of own horn”) is that of a face plant…yes, my own…firmly…
Had you seen me yesterday, you would have thought that I was a raving lunatic…anything and everything that had any sugar content in it at all was eagerly “inhaled” outside of appropriate boundaries. I was a crazed person. I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t feel insane…but my actions betray my mental capacity at the time…Scratch that. I can’t blame it on being “insane” or a deficient mental capacity. I knew exactly what I was doing. And I had an “in your face” prideful attitude about it toward God and anyone who would dare to cast a “knowing” look my way at all!
No, I don’t feel like it was a “deprivation” reaction at all. I felt no deprivation through the 10 days (or so) that I fasted sweets. I felt peace and joy.
I think it was, simply, PRIDE.
Today’s lesson in The Lord’s Table workbook is called “Key to Victory–Ongoing Humility.”
This is one of the things that I have found to be VERY true, in fact, on this journey to release weight, to release attitudes that don’t honor the Lord, and to continue to grow in Him in a way that enables me to honor him with my eating, drinking…and, well, LIFE! If I don’t obtain and maintain and attitude of humility, all is lost for that moment, that hour, that day…
That is what happened to me yesterday.
I share this by way of confession.
Pride causes my guard to be down. I end up “trusting myself” that I can “handle it.” Combine that with an attitude of “God you are so blessed that I would honor you with my life! I have just really impressed you, haven’t I!”
Then, I minimize eating anything at all outside of 0 and 5…and in my case, God has shown me clearly that this is an attitude of pride. (Well, duh…one doesn’t need to be brilliant to see that!)
Once pride is allowed to grow unhindered in any moment at all, it goes nuts like the blackberry brambles I wrote about last summer…it takes over. Like it did for me yesterday until I was literally inhaling all the sugar that was in the house…and that at my relatives’, too. Homemade chocolate truffles, apple pie, peanut butter cup ice cream, lemon bars, homemade cinnamon rolls, Sees candy…and on and on it seems to go. Can you believe it?
So this lesson this morning in TLT workbook, really came home to me. I know this is truth. I have experienced it over the last 2 years and I saw it up close and personal yesterday.
Now we understand what we did wrong, and we get back on our knees (the Christian’s fighting position), humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him once again for forgiveness and grace. We see how bankrupt we are in ourselves, how needy we are of the Lord, and how dependent we are on Him to win this battle… Right here, in this position, is where we will win this battle. Right here, in the presence of Almighty God, with our hearts bowed in submission to Him, with the stark realization that we can do nothing apart from Him, is where the flesh loses all its power and where we gain true spiritual strength to mortify the members of our body which are on the earth (Romans 8:13). This attitude of “Help me God lest I perish” and “Give me Jesus or I’ll spin out of control” is the attitude that will win this battle for a lifetime. (TLT, p. 146-147)
The lesson goes on to describe how one can foster an attitude of humility. This is a great lesson–one of the best in the workbook.
What are ways I will proceed to foster an attitude of humility?
1.) Be sure to begin the day with focused time with the Lord, recommitting myself to His Lordship, taking in His Word, inviting the conviction of the Spirit, time of prayer.
2.) Practicing gratitude through my gratitude blog – It is impossible for pride to continue when I praise God for what He has done and is doing in my life.
3.) For a while, I will choose to add an additional focused time with the Lord in my life…even if it is just 10 minutes…in the mid-afternoon. I begin the day with a posture of humility and then by mid-day I operate as a practical atheist 🙁 acting independently of the Lord and His will.
4.) I will continue to use the 60-60 experiment from Soul Revolution to reconnect with God each hour. I will choose to stop whatever I am doing and intentionally recommit to the Lord’s authority in my life, stating affirmations such as, “Lord, I acknowledge you are the potter and I am the clay. I choose YOUR will in this moment.”
5.) I may need to build a weekly fasting day into my life…or every so often anyhow. I know that a single day fasting of food altogether is something God has used powerfully in my life in the past…not for the purpose of weight loss…or maintenance, but for prayer, to help me be dependent on him. When I am hungry, I sense better than ever that I am at his mercy and have such great need of him. The spiritual fruit from a day spent that way seems to go on.
Lord, I confess that my pride got me into trouble yesterday. I thank you for your forgiveness. In my arrogance, I strutted around, patting myself on the back for having “fasted sweets” for a period of time…Lord, I know that even wanting to do that was your doing in my life. Your strength and power enabled me to do so…it had nothing to do with anything in myself. Yet I allowed myself to consider defective, faulty thoughts of self-glorification. It got me into trouble and my heart was revealed for what it was. I am so thankful for grace, Lord. I resolve to live differently today. I affirm that you are the potter, I am the clay. Have your way with me, Lord. Not my will, but thine be done.
Under our Christmas tree right now are gifts…not many this year, but one each for our two kids. In an hour or so, they will get up. Imagine if the kids got up, looked at the gifts under the tree, shrugged their shoulders and then went on about some *other* business and never “bothered” to open or to receive the gift!
Or imagine maybe they do get that far…they open their specially chosen gift and their eyes light up and then don’t believe it is for them, set it down and never touch it, never use it, never appropriate it.
Their father and I would be so disappointed, certainly.
I wonder if many of us are caught in this very thing where the gifts of God are concerned–especially THE gift. Jesus said he came that we might experience and have as OURS…”abundant life!” Are you experiencing the joy of that gift daily? Am I? He came that we might have our wounds bound up and be set free. Are we experiencing the thrill of these gifts daily?
Christmas is about so much more than a baby in a manger. That baby in a manger is a powerful story.
The Apostle John told the “Christmas” story like this:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word waswith God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1-5,10-14)
If we choose to embrace this gift from God, we, experience the freedom he came to give to us. As we partake of this freedom, our lives our radically transformed…slowly, perhaps, but when we really BELIEVE what He says is true–that we are free, that we are forgiven, that all is paid for, that we are His children, that we are more than conquerors–when we appropriate the gift that he has given, there is spiritual health that flows through us.
He condescended from his throne in heaven, not merely to be remembered as a baby at Christmas time. He came to set you free. He has done so. It is a gift extended. Will you take His gift…and if you have received his gift, will you open it and appropriate it? It is yours. Believe it, use it, enjoy it, relish it! LIVE!
Here in California, we are often referred to as being “fruity” and “nutty.” It comes with the territory, I guess. I mean, no offense to Arnold Schwarzenegger fans, but only in California could we elect “The Terminator” or “The Predator” to be our governor! Well, it does seem a bit extreme. I know…he has been governor for almost six years, but I still can’t get used to it. It just seems to justify the stereotypes that people have of Californians. Fruits and nuts. Yep…that’s us.
What does California’s governor have to do with The Lord’s Table? LOL! Well, in this lesson, the author, Mike Cleveland, draws attention to scriptures that challenge and encourage the participant to be aware that God calls us to bear much fruit–and not the California kind either!
…the thought that we want to convey today is the need to turn our focus away from ourselves and begin to look for those we can help… (TLT, p. 140)
Referencing 2 Timothy 2:21, Mr. Cleveland says purity and freedom precede useful ministry. (TLT, p. 141)
Yet he also cautions that we not make exuses to keep us from obeying the mandate of scripture (found in John 15 and elsewhere) that we are to bear much fruit. It is so easy to say “I am not there yet, I can’t possibly minister to others.” Or “I have to be busy at work to get my act together first. I don’t have time or energy to help others until I have been victorious…” There may be some shred of truth to this, but at the same time, this myopia can keep us so inwardly focused that we miss that God is glorified when we bear fruit. He has called us to get on with bearing fruit for His Name’s sake!
Before I ever had much “success” with Thin Within, God called the things that are not as though they are (Romans 4:17)…and invited me to take Judy and Arthur Halliday’s Thin Within workshop material and put it into a book form…He called me to link arms with these two precious folks to bring about the book that you now can see as Thin Within. His call made NO earthly sense at all! Yet he called and said it would be. He wove our hearts and joined us for an amazing experience (for me, certainly).
Had I allowed my self-doubt to disqualify me from this call, I shudder to think of what I would have missed out on!
God calls us to be others centered, to be ministry minded. You may not feel free right this moment, but He IS DOING A NEW THING IN YOU! Isaiah 43:18-19 proves it!
Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
God IS doing a new thing in you right now!
Having lived most of my life in an overweight body, I know how easy it is to let our “condition” keep us from reaching out, from being “up front,” to hide behind closed doors. We fear ridicule and people can be SO cruel.
But picture this…Jesus extends his hand to you. RIGHT now. RIGHT where you find yourself. He reaches for you to take your hand in his. A tender smile is on his face and unconditional love is in his eyes. He welcomes you to cast all shame aside, to take his hand and let him lift you up into what he is doing–HIS story. He invites you to participate with him in reaping fruit for eternity. By this is the father glorified! That you bear MUCH fruit! (John 15)
Are you in a flurry today? Are you busily cleaning your home, pulling together the last minute shopping lists, beginning even to prepare a bit early all that is necessary for a house full of guests? Or perhaps you are busy getting the kids (and husband?) packed for a road trip to go to the relatives’ for Christmas. This season…these days just preceding Christmas…are so jammed with BUSY-ness for so many of us! And in our flurry, our spirits and souls get worked into a tizzy so easily. We can even get agitated and irritable…all in keeping with “the spirit of the season!” Go figure!
Imagine that as you are busy doing all your preparations, your husband or kids or someone who is supposed to be helping you is sitting on her bum with her bible open…serene look on her face. And all while you are working, knocking yourself out for others! Boy, that would be tough to stomach, wouldn’t it?
Martha had trouble with it, too.
Today’s lesson in The Lord’s Table workbook piggy-backs well on to the message to “Seek First God and His Kingdom” from yesterday.
The author has the participant look deeply at the Mary and Martha passage. There is a lot there. Jesus, after all, in verse 42 says that Martha is worried and bothered about so many things (can you relate?), but only one thing is necessary. Apparently, Mary had chosen that one thing–to sit at the Lord’s feet, to be still and know.
I don’t want to “ruin” this lesson for those of you who may be going through the workbook or may be considering purchasing it, but this is so rich, I don’t want anyone left out! I will just include teasers here. I found this study very rich and encouraging.
Being still and sitting at the Master’s feet:
1. Indicates humility.
One of the things that is at the top of my personal list when someone asks me “What made the difference for you this time when you began to ‘do’ Thin Within? Why has it ‘worked’ this time after all the years of failure before?” And I have to say that God has brought home the message that my pride is what causes me to grab at more food than is my allotted portion. So doing what I can to retrain an attitude of humility is vital. Mind you, I don’t always succeed, but one reason why I have a gratitude blog is to keep myself aware of the fact that God is God and I am not. This helps me to be humble. I don’t tend to grab for MY “rights,” MY way, MY food or insist that this is MY body quite so frequently when I intentionally try to esteem God as God and take a posture of appropriate lowliness. Not self-debasement. That isn’t what the Lord wants, but of an awareness that I am the clay and HE is the potter.
2. Indicates Submission
When I sit at the feet of Jesus each day and throughout the day ask Him humbly what HIS will in this moment, for this conversation, how he wants me to spend my energies, I am saying I am willing to do what He says. He is my authority. I am surrendering my will to His. Scriptures say that when I submit to the Lord, I will have peace. I have found this to be true.
3. Indicates a spirit of LEARNING
I have done this Thin Within thing for a long time. I collaborated on the book with the Hallidays and co-wrote the first release of the Thin Within workbook (which has since been edited by many talented others). I literally “wrote the book” if you will. I don’t say that in arrogance, as God called me to do that before I had strung together two victorious days in a row. I was still struggling in habitual sin and didn’t have a clue.
That said, I have found that I have so much to learn. This isn’t about eating, weight, and all of that. It is about following hard after the Lord. This is a lifetime journey. It doesn’t end. Ever. I have so much to learn. In humility, with a spirit of submission, I want to follow Mary’s example and choose to learn from Jesus. There is peace in that place.
4. Incidates Faith. The very fact that Mary sat at Jesus’ feet indicates that she believed something was going to happen…that she was on the edge of her seat, if you will. She anticipated being transformed, growing…How like Mary I want to be. I want to believe Jesus and what He says is true now. I want to believe him for what he says he is doing…I want to wait on him and anticipate all that he promises to come to fulfillment.
Mike Cleveland points out that it is by faith that we gain victory over our sin. I have to believe that if I deny my flesh that God is taking this as a deposit in changing, transforming my character–not just my body.
5. Indicates a Holding to His Teaching
I am to hear, believe and obey like Mary did. John 8 says that if I hear, believe, and obey, I will know the truth and the truth will set me free.
6. Indicates a Loving of the Lord Jesus
I want to pursue a love relationship with him as my one holy obsession. I want to grow to know Him more. As I do, I know I can’t help but to love him more. As I love him more, I want to be humble, submit, learn from, believe, and hold to his teaching…it is a big wonderful cycle that infuses more love into my heart for him which in turn infuses more willingness to surrender and obey.
All which comes by “doing” this “one thing.” Sitting at his feet.
I want to sit at his feet each morning, but God is also showing me that throughout the day, even in the midst of moving my own feet, being about my own busy-ness, I can still my heart and know that He is God, rekindle my awareness of Him. The Soul Revolution 60-60 experiment is a great way to do this…and it helps a lot.
Starting my day with a focused time with the Lord helps me so very much. I am so thankful that He is ever mindful of me.
I have an insane, neurotic golden retriever. I think she was a puppy mill puppy…too much inbreeding or something that messed with her head. We rescued her when she was 7 months old. She really has all kinds of bizarre behaviors. Just now she reminded me of myself…
…she likes to sit right UNDER the wood burning stove. In fact, she sits so close to it that she has singed her eyebrows every year we have had her. I don’t know if she gets such comfort being near the heat or what it is.
Frankly, I think she sits there because she wants to be sure that if any reflections or lights or shadows “escape” from the fire, she is there to chase them down. She is obsessed by lights, reflections and shadows. Things without substance.
She is so drawn to whatever it is, that she doesn’t sense that being that close to the fire is *harmful*. There is something about being there that she so fixates on that she misses this important thing. Whatever reward there is for her in being near the fire, there are potentially devastating detriments. She could singe not just her eyebrows, but her fur and skin.
How like her I am…I tend to play, rest, nestle in too close to the fire, fixating on something that has my attention, failing to be vigilant–often, I fixate on something that is sin…or at the very least lacks substance and in my fixation I fail to see how near the fire I am and the potential consequences to my lack of vigilance.
Today’s lesson in The Lord’s Table workbook deals with this very issue. I found it especially pertinent as I look toward the end of my fasting of sweets to the Lord. I have been obsessing about this. Am I not playing too close to the fire, perhaps? I am obsessing about this when maybe God just wants me to keep a good distance from *FIRE* and allow HIM to fill my vision. Instead of fixating on things that lack substance–all the what IFs–maybe just cling to Him and heed his call. If Daisy, our golden retriever, would listen to us and stay away from the fire, she wouldn’t have to worry about being burned.
If I choose in the days ahead to allow the LORD to fill my vision, if I turn away from what ifs and obsessive thoughts about “Can I handle it?” I am convinced he will show me the way, HIS way…to enjoy the blessings he offers without being burned by my lack of vigilance.
The objective of today’s lesson is to increase our awareness of the purpose of sin and the devil. We must know that they are out to devour and consume us. (TLT, p. 131)
I want to stand clear of the fire and focus on the Lord.
Therefore, let us not expend energy thinking about food; that is, counting calories, reading labels, or fixating on food in any other manner. It is far more important that we consider how we may fatten up our souls that it is how we may slim down our bodies. Food and our physical bodies are temporary. Eat in moderation, enjoy what you eat, and then get on with what is truly of value–pursuing intimacy with Jesus Christ. (TLT, p. 132)
me so much and when I finally ran the San Francisco Marathon, I took a little booklet with me that I had made ahead of time. Each page represented a mile. I had written down quotes, verses, and people to pray for on each page…so for that mile, I would use those cues to help me focus on something other than how miserable I was 🙂 and when I passed the mile marker, I would tear the corner off the page. It was an absolutely wonderful growing, learning experience.
Once I got into running, I would never have imagined putting the old clothes back on for an 18 mile training run…they were too heavy and floppy and would hold me back from being the best I could possibly be.
suffering in His flesh to the point of shedding His blood for our sins, and we are reminded to endure, to persist, to persevere. This is the value of looking to Jesus. This is the importance of focusing on Him. If we look to Him, we cannot grow weary or lose heart and give up. (TLT, p. 151)
